i heard yesterday about the remains of chaundra levy found in rock creek park in washington. i know that her parents will be relieved after this time to have closure to her disappearance, though no answers. the worst part of having a child leave home is the worrisome reality that they will meet with a bad end- one that you were not able to protect then from, or warn them specifically about, or grab them back from- like a mother grabbing her child's coat to pull him out of oncoming traffic at a street corner. letting go is really tough. this year, with andrew going out more and more, and coming in later and later, was simply a prelude to him not being home at all for weeks and/or months at a time. i will virtually have to trust that i have instilled in him some sort of survival skills. my gut response is 'i am too old for this'- but i shouldn't look at it that way. rather, 'i am too young for this' that's it. my parents seemed far older than i am now when i left home. at least that's how i remember it. i couldn't be that old now.......