sunday school

ok, so today's lesson is on fear........and that is what i am about, it seems.....i can name off personal fears on both hands, and move on to the toes if need be.......i think my biggest fear is early senility.......a fear made all the more fearful because i cannot do anything to prevent it.....all i can do is to make the best use of the time i still have as a semi-lucid person.........my other fears seem to spin off from this core fear.....but then fears need not be rational....in the printed teacher's material there are references to biblical fears....including the oft quoted reaction of the sheperds watching flocks by night, when the angels appears......'and they were sore afraid.....'not what one would expect when one sees an angel......to be afraid.....there are degrees of fear, of course........ranging from apprehension to utter terror.........i was nervous last week when i ventured out for my first blood glucose screening event...which made no sense in that i have done things like this for years.......but not in a long time...so i was uneasy.....not afraid.....i do not know if i have ever known utter terror......when i worked at the group home for mentally retarded adults, while in graduate school, i was once accosted by a resident with a kitchen knife......i never really believed that he would actually do me harm....and so i talked down the episode rather calmly.....knock on wood that i never know intense fear......ah well.......time to write down a few notes so that i need not fear appearing unprepared.......