not for the squeamish....

ok, so.....i had bouts of both boiling over heat and chills last evening as i tossed and turned......which either means i in still hormonally fragile, or i have some dread disease like histoplasmosis or tuberculosis that feature night sweats as part of their destructive process.......somehow menopause doesn't sound so bad as compared to the alternative.....sadly, when i wake up either too hot or too cold, i have difficulty falling back to sleep as i run through all of the worries that i could worry about further rather than fall back asleep.....i have taken to chanting....in my head.....a mantra about how it will all be ok.......