closure?

ok, so i have decided that i can not bare to read any more news bites nor watch any more footage of either the boston marathon bombing nor the capture of the alledged bombers.....the photo of the younger brother brings me to tears...he does look like the angel his father claims him to be .....the notion that someone whose retired high school teachers still remember kindly could do something so horrific is beyond my understanding........hopefully he will see clear to explain his motives so that the rest of the world can begin to do what it takes to prevent others from following that mindset......but i digress from my own failure to find closure in more personal matters.....i deposited a sizable check into my checking account yesterday....then almost immediately had the teller move it all over to savings....the funds represent compensation for pain and suffering caused by the at-fault driver.....and i felt no joy whatsoever at the balance in my bank account.....not even enough pleasure to leave it where it could be spent.....i am no longer able to walk freely, and no amkount of money can erase that reality, nor cheer me up on days when ankle aches, or my toes are swollen, or i catch a glimpse of the bruising and striations from the cast that still run up the front of my leg.....i am assured that nothing can be done and if i am lucky the pain and swelling and lines will diminish.....and so they write me a check and assume that closure can be bought......i am not there yet...........