just in case......

ok, so one would think i had never left the state before.....i have taken anxiety to new limits......having spent the past 48 hours typing out family recipes just in case.....and emailing a few songs and sending thank you notes......when i mentioned my fear of dying whilst flying to a coworker this morning, she deadpanned that even death would not be an excuse to miss the osha training on wednesday.....that training was the reason we made plans to fly rather than drive on this spring break......no vacation time would be approved on such an important occassion as employee safety training......oy!.......and so to those who have received my last minute tributes, mark my impetuousness up to panic.......by wednesday evening i will be so numb from the speskers on bloodborune pathogens and pandemic flu that i will start to muse again about traveling........go figure..........

the tiara is off.....

ok, so yesterday the best overheard conversation-of-the-day involved a co-worker who started work at the agency in question right out of high school, and who will be retiring with full benefits at age 58.....she is dreading going home to spend her waking hours with her spouse.......because....as she so succinctly puts it.....the tiara is off, and what's the point?........yes, what is her point?....i had to ask, and this what she said, or something close to it.....for the first couple of decades of my marriage everything was just fine, but when i started through menopause, and i put on a little weight and a lot of grey hair, all the sudden he started to dispair that i was no longer the sweet young thing he married.....and he started in finding fault with everything i did, as if to confirm this realization.......it happened when he was 51......and it hasn't let up.......and it will likely last until he gets a good look in his mirror, and realizes to his own horror all the sudden that he is not the sweet young thing i married.........i just love the idiom..allthesudden......it so speaks to a palpable rush of awareness........and i could feel this woman's pain....allthesudden...because much as i envy her early retirement, i also could understand her concern for 24/7 with someone who has yet to figure out that he, too, has lost some of his origin assets......

champion of compressed files.....

ok, so i have figured out how to send songs via compressed files to me obliging youngsters.....who may or may not care to listen....but music is music...and one lever knows which tunes will take seed in one;'s mind...........i am back to a desktop full of downloaded songs awaiting the thumbs up or thumbs down......i am hesitant to click on delete forever......as they are all somebody's mother's son or daughter........

sitting in my car eating lunch......

ok, so.......in my thursday county i sat in my car eating my lunch.....which caused quite a stir amongst my thursday workmates......as to just why someone would sit in one's car rather than in the lounge/dinette area set aside for such things as eating lunch......truth be told......i was listening to the end of my audiobook......timing of book-endings never happens just as one pulls into one's driveway.......always somewhere in transit.....and today i wanted to be in control of the end......to savor my failure to guess whodunit with this ngaio marsh murder mystery.......i am quite fond of audio books.....being read to is so comfortingly juvenile....even for grownups......especially when the prose is way beyond see dick run, see jane run.........and now that the murder has been solved and the looseends tied up.....i must find something else to occupy my travel time......and my down time.....i am back to having nothing to read but books i put-down.......and books that can be put down aren't really worth one's valuable time, are they?........

ok, so tomorrow we fly to dc to visit family, our middle child to be in that number....and to see the sights.....including the cezanne exhibit at the national gallery.....i have not set foot in a museum since spring break 2005....the newly rennovated moma....much too long to go between art outings.......i splurged on an updated guide to d.c.....the older one being from the early 90's......dating back to the earliest trips with the boys.......i am approach/avoidance about the trip, however........worrying about the flight....seeing myself going down in flames.......i try to tell myself that a simple plane flight replaces 10 hours of perilous car miles.......keep my little jaunt in your prayers.......... 

mamma's recipes

ok, so i have begun the process of making recipe cards for family dishes....so that in the event of my demise my offspring can still enjoy a bit of home........foods such as my spinach artichoke casserole......and the raspberry cake we often have at birthdays......my plan is to print them out on card-stock, and present them in cute boxes......not cutesy boxes......more sleek and moderne, i think........but back to recipes.......it has been brought to my attention that my offspring would have been better served if i had shown them how to make each of these foods while they still lived at home, or while the remaining child is still at hand.......something about my lack of patience with those who are not apt students.........?.....i learned to cook out of necessity......and therefore it could be construed that the fact that i have never required dinner on the table when i got home from work as the reason that my children cannot conceive of how to make this happen.......not that they would starve...far from it.....i believe that food would be prepared and eaten.....but i digress......with these recipes said food could be familiar and comforting......

2 miles a day....

ok, so i have walked, either on the road or on the treadmill....2 miles a day for quite some time now......and while my stamina has improved greatly, the more desirable results have been more subtle......almost negligible.....so much so that it has been suggested that i might want to boost my mileage.....the implication made that 2 miles is a paltry sum and hardly worth mentioning as an exercise regime....so much for support!?......does this count under the for better or for worse part .....the in sickness or in health part.........or was this issue covered in the words left out of the traditional vows?........

ok, so the bank behind my house is alive with this wildflower.....that i can't recall that i have seen in the past few years.....any ideas as to the name?....please note that the photo was taken with my mother's canon digital...the sd card transferred to my palm, then the palm was synched to my p.c. desktop....and the photo copied from there to my blog......too much technology for one day!!!!!!! 

cat in the closet.....

ok, so i was slumbering peacefully when the familiar sounds were heard.....a faint scratching that built up to a mad clawing......and this meant only one thing....that my spouse had shut the closet door after the cat bedded down for the night in her secret hidey-hole.....and now she wanted out.....oy.....to drag oneself from a warm cozy spot .....and then to do battle with the cat.....who's usual trick is to bolt into the bedroom proper so she can sleep near to her people this is a feline who would sleep up in your face if she could.....one of my bestest and most recent naps involved waking up to find the cat asleep on my chest nestled under my chin......and so last night in a half-asleep stupor i somehow managed to free her from the closet and usher her on out the door.......and return to bed......only to hear voices coming from the back room situated below the bed......which meant only one thing....that the television had turned itself on.......gentle readers......i can manage to sleep through television noise just fine......especially when the television turning itself on thing happens frequently enough as to not suspect prowlers.......our theory is either that the neighbors garage-door opener triggers the turn-on.....or that lowflying planes somehow signal it......or that internal programming timers are playing havoc with our aging television set........regardless......i didn't bother to get up to drag my sorry body all the way downstairs to turn it back off........final score..cat (1), television set (0)

fairview drive

ok, so i dreamed last night that i was living in my childhood home.....the one i was born into that we moved away from when i was in the 5th grade.....this house was on a steep hill...the kind of front yard that sensible folks install with a rock garden to eliminate the need to mow grass on the incline.....and it had a full front porch, with porch swing.......in the dream i have come out onto the porch to bring in the paper and the mail, both of which are laying on the porch floor.......there is a large envelope on top addressed to me....full hyphenated name...from a terry baker.....a name that means nothing to me.....curious to remember names in dreams......and inside the house someone had installed glossy wood flooring......shiny enough to imagine slips and falls in stocking feet.....and there were more guest rooms downstairs than possible given the home's actual dimensions.....to the end that i was the only person sleeping upstairs......my original bedroom was not really included in my dream sequence....mostly i sat on the porch and read a letter and a card from someone i don't really know......curious........

monday morning march madness.....

ok, so....i work with women......there are only 2 men inthe building at the max.....and there were none on hand this morning for the quintessential discussion of the weekend tourny games,,, including a rousing approval rating for big baby.......and commentary about jjriddick's tearful departure....and how far men have come to feel free enough to sob hysterically for the camera.......ironically...the women who had the most to say have daughters who play(ed) high school basketball.......rather than sons who play(ed)......but their fascination for the game was clear......the consensus was that florida would play lsu for the title, but that everybody would wish that george mason had won.......i suppose lsu was the favorite, because florida has beaten uk in the vital games of recent memory......nobody wants ucla to win.....and george mason is the sentimental fave........who knew that a gaggle of women could find so much to talk about with regards to men's ncaa basketball....but this is kentucky..........and even those without children in high school athletics are dreading hoops withdrawal......

a pox on both your houses.....

ok, so in public health it is considered bad taste to gasp at the sight of blistering nodules......and so when i client informed me that the blistering nodules on her daughter's hands and arms (but not her neck nor face....) were 'some sort of pox the doctor told us'.....i just went on with my previous line of questioning.....as the child was not the client and she had seen a doctor....and i was pretty sure it wasn't chicken pox....which would have been ok because i have had that childhood disease during....childhood.......and because i had seen worse-case scenarios of chicken pox with my own children.....i was pretty sure it wasn't chicken pox....and smallpox.....well......i wasnt' so sure about that, but it wasn't on her face......and it seemed to be clearing up rather than newly erupted.....but still....hours later...i am googling poxes in hopes of satisfying my poxial curiosity...turns out there are many poxi....including Rickettsial pox.....which is endemic in new york city and in developing countries......small nodules that fill with fluid and burst and crust over and go away.....with some scarring...caused by a virus tranmitted by some sort of mite that lives in unclean sheets.......yech.......i washed my hands thoroughly after that client left......this is one child out of the hundreds i have come across in public health.....one doesn't see much in the way of pox these days due to dilligent immunization campaigns.....and so the word has gone out of favor, as a descriptive or as a curse.......having seen this child today, however, i certainly felt the depth of the barb....a pox on both your houses was a meaty jab, indeed.......

more ncaa....

ok, so i watched back to back basketball games yesterday.....the best of george mason beating u-conn.......wow.....what a sight....an eleven seed making it to the final four.....which is what this tourney is supposedly about.......the commentators kept referring to cinderella......but the team i watched didn't look like doe-eyed babes....just really good ballplayers that stepped up their game and took all the right chances.....i was also pleased to see florida, yet another s.e.c. team make the final four......both lsu and florida are in uk's conference....but goerge mason is now my team for the duration....win or lose.....ya got to love these guys.........

worry....

ok, so th lesson in sunday school was about worry....about how we are not supposed to worry, because it is god's job, not ours to take care of things......and to worry shows sinful signs of disbelief.....well...there you have it....sinful signs of disbelief.....i worry to the extent that there are placards of my disbelief over my head like a cartoons character's dialogue.......worry keeps me awake at night, or wakes me up...it consumes my drive to work, my lunchtime, my drive home...all the moments when i am not otherwise engaged in useful tasks.......worry about things that i cannot control...worry about things that happened eons ago......worry about people i have alienated, people i have hurt,my children, my mother, my aging dog, the state of the nation, the war, whether or not i have an undiagnosed tumor,....people who won't show up at my funeral.....that is mostly what i worry about at funerals, btw.....but i digress......we are not supposed to worry.....but i forget this directive regularly...because i am getting so forgetful....and i worry about that, as well.......oy.....but worry is only what i do when i have nothing else to do....i confess to an entrely worryfree afternoon yesterday.....one spent in useful work with goals in mind and accomplishment at hand.......i also do not worry when i am eating,...even when those around me are aksing me if i should be eating thus and such as it might be bad for my health......i do not worry when i am reading, nor when i am walking on the treadmill.....nor out having coffee or wone with friends....even when talking about what others are worrying about......i am not worried at those moments when i am focused on the comforting of another's worries......go figure.......essentially my worrying stems from finding myself with too much free time.....let me write this down, as i will soon forget, what with my lack of short term memory......nothing to worry about today.......

beating back the jungle....

ok, so i have nspent the past few hours with works gloves and heavy duty cutting devices.....trimming back the tall stalks from last seasons perennials....and whacking up the upshoots of honeysuckle, hackberry, privet and other assorted bushes,trees and the like that threaten to take back their rightful territory.....these were the plants that thrived here when we first embarked on this gardening adventure.....and between the fall and the spring of any given year they make fantastic strides on reclaiming what was theirs.....mostly i made progress.....but in my quest to clear out the ledge behind the deck....i trampled the one rose bush i sought to preserve....hopefully the bloody thing will spring forth with even more new shoots to replace the ones i destroyed in my rush.........rats.......i also fed the roses, the perennials, and the grass...such as it is.....and put down grass-seed......in the hopes that 1 out of 100 seeds will take root......such it is with our yard......and our garden......where hope springs eternal......

speaking of lazy.....

ok, so i went to bed before 10 and didn't get up til 9:00 am....what's up with that?........i can vaguely remember my spouse getting up to run, and then turning back over....and that must have been somehwere around 6:30......maybe this aging thing is getting out of hand......i should have forced myself out of the bed at 6:30 like i do every other day, just for the sake of savoring the unwasted minutes......

smalltalk

ok, so this from slate.com......

Slate offers a quick and easy guide to help you fake your way through overly cultured cocktail parties this weekend.

It was a slow week on the culture scene, so you'll need to dig deep for small talk. In the theater, cluck at the failure of the Lord of the Rings musical, which is being savaged after its premiere in Toronto. Branson awaits.

Wal-Mart announced that it's luring upscale customers with high-end wines and sushi bars. A good moment, once again, to "admit" you shop at Target.

An ABC News producer's anti-Bush e-mail surfaced at the Drudge Report. Prepare your liberal-media-bias lines, pro or con.

Radiohead's Thom Yorke declined to speak with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who he says has "no environmental credentials."

Randy Quaid wants more money from the producers of Brokeback Mountain. He says producers convinced him to cut his usual fee for their sweet little art-house picture, which had "no prospect of making any money."

If you're feeling outdoorsy this weekend, mention that a very large fish was caught in California. Here's your cheat sheet.

the on-line version contained links to previously published stories....alas, i am much too lazy to do as much for my gentle readers......however, the anitbush email sent from the abc producers blackberry is quite funny...if you are an antobush sort of person.......

ok, so this from salon.com......i might just call this guy up...i , too, cannot seem to decide for myself to day....... 

ok, so i wish i were in paris.....to see this exhibition among other things......there is much to ponder over this perfect portrait of a woman......truly the artist spend as much time on the lustrous silk drapes as he did on the pink flesh.....and that is what is special about this nude.....she is only part of the scene.....not the whole scene...or at least to someone who enjoys fabric............ 

a good dubya joke....

ok, so my friend bettie told this joke over coffee at the hub this afternoon....... dubya had spent the weekend at his ranch in texas....and as he was descending the steps of airforce one, he was carrying 2 pigs, one in each arm.....the marine on duty at the foot of the stairs commented on the hogs.......nice pigs, sir....to which dubya replied....these aren't just any pigs....they are genuine razorback hogs......i got one for dick cheney....and one for donald rumsfeld........to which the marine replied......good trade, sir........i love that joke.........