worry....

ok, so th lesson in sunday school was about worry....about how we are not supposed to worry, because it is god's job, not ours to take care of things......and to worry shows sinful signs of disbelief.....well...there you have it....sinful signs of disbelief.....i worry to the extent that there are placards of my disbelief over my head like a cartoons character's dialogue.......worry keeps me awake at night, or wakes me up...it consumes my drive to work, my lunchtime, my drive home...all the moments when i am not otherwise engaged in useful tasks.......worry about things that i cannot control...worry about things that happened eons ago......worry about people i have alienated, people i have hurt,my children, my mother, my aging dog, the state of the nation, the war, whether or not i have an undiagnosed tumor,....people who won't show up at my funeral.....that is mostly what i worry about at funerals, btw.....but i digress......we are not supposed to worry.....but i forget this directive regularly...because i am getting so forgetful....and i worry about that, as well.......oy.....but worry is only what i do when i have nothing else to do....i confess to an entrely worryfree afternoon yesterday.....one spent in useful work with goals in mind and accomplishment at hand.......i also do not worry when i am eating,...even when those around me are aksing me if i should be eating thus and such as it might be bad for my health......i do not worry when i am reading, nor when i am walking on the treadmill.....nor out having coffee or wone with friends....even when talking about what others are worrying about......i am not worried at those moments when i am focused on the comforting of another's worries......go figure.......essentially my worrying stems from finding myself with too much free time.....let me write this down, as i will soon forget, what with my lack of short term memory......nothing to worry about today.......