typed mean mamma into google.com- and came up with this classic from an unidentified source- i am not near this mean......

May 17, 2001
Mean Mamma
I'm a mean, mean mother.
Just ask Mikey the majority of the time, Nathan all of the time and Erica when she gets her little wee mouth tapped for blowing raspberries at me when she's ticked off or for telling me 'no'.

I spank. I ground. I take away televisions, telephone time, outside time and by god, I stick to it. STUART is a big wash when it comes to consistency but it's my middle name.

I am most certainly not what people would consider politically correct either when it comes to discipline.

Things I've told my children:

I don't care WHAT you think in your head but by God, I'd better not hear it come out of your mouth because you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor.

You don't get paid to think. There's a reason for it.

I'm going to knock you out if you do that one more time. Think I'm kidding? Go ahead and test me.

Slam that door one more time and I'm going to stick you in the door and slam it shut. It's my house, quit messing with it.

How would you like to eat a bar of soap? Mouth almighty.

Go ahead. Keep running that mouth and see what happens.

I'm sorry. Just shut up and do it because it isn't up for discussion. That's the way it is.

If you don't quit acting like a baby, I'm going to put a diaper on you and treat you like one. Quit the whining.