Thursday, August 18, 2005
satisfaction.......
ok, so i have enjoyed immensely the interviews and hoopla surrounding the newest rolling stones tour......read sarcasm into every word of this piece.....as i have never been a fan.......a few songs here and there.......i am still trying to find lyrics to a song i heard on some guy's 8-track in high school.......maybe on the sticky fingers album but who knows at this point.....i shouldn't say some guy....as i was completely enamored.......but it passed.......and my only other touch of the stones was the recollection that it was a stones song that was played for my upwardly mobile cousin becky at her wedding at the Audubon mansion in d.c. for her 'first dance'......can't quite recall which one other than it seemed a strange choice at the time.......and so these guys are going out on tour yet again...to support their upteenth album....supposedly orginal songs this time out rather than remixes/rehashes.......fenway park in boston is one of the first up.......maybe steven king will show up...just out of habit.......
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
kath
ok, so there was a message on our machine when i got home from work....for kath.......and the sound of that bastardization of my name grated my senses.....i answer to many things......obviously kathy, kathlyn if pronounced with the emphasis on the second syllable......to kate if you knew me from 1975-1978....and to k. if you knew me in the kitchen working with g......but never kath......it sounds so......brutal....like it is short for catheter....or catholic......or cathedral....omg.......the name thing is one of those sticklers with me......i have never in 24 years of marriage let anyone get by with referring to me as mrs. w............and the only person who could get by with calling me kathy c was a fine gentleman in my church who is now deceased........he seemed to sense that that was my truer self......and he always called me that, knowing full well that there was more to it........he also referred to my spouse as ernest....but it is not my job to correct the mispronunciations of my spouse.......my children....yeseree.......i will correct the andy's and steve's in a heartbeat.....and our daughter.....omg...so many variations......most sound like calley (as if it rhymes with valley)......rather than cayle....rhymes with haley as in the comet.......ah well......if only a person could have a name like tom smith.....cut and dried.....no chance for mistakes.......or jane doe.......well......there are far too many jane does....but i digress........i did return the call....and got an answering machine.....i was careful to annunciate clearly........
more on the belated dream....
ok, so i dreamt (is that a word?)again last night a variation on the dream i related a few days ago (see blog belated dream).....the particulars were the same......i drove many miles to take a friend of a child to a clinic.....in this variation we were heckled by protesters......and i crossed the street to verbally accost a guy with a sign.......i can clearly recall quoting the scripture about the person without sin casting the first stone........so why am i on this train of thought........or stream of dream..........truly it is not because i stay up nights worrying that the friends of my children are having sex......i would be quite surprised to find out that they are not.....maybe the heart of the matter is the fear that they may be having unprotected sex......and that is risky business these days.......aids, std's, pregnancy.....maybe my place of employment should stock condoms in our mailbox for afterhour emergencies....just so that i can get some rest.......
more on cindy sheehan...
ok, so this was on salon.com over my lunch hour....
Camp Casey gets a home
Some of George W. Bush's Crawford, Texas, neighbors asked local county commissioners to force Cindy Sheehan and her supporters to move farther away from the president's property Tuesday, but another neighbor is making the opposite happen. Fred Mattlage, a veteran of the U.S. Army who opposes the war in Iraq, has offered Sheehan the use of his land about a mile from Bush's Prairie Chapel Ranch.
"I just think people should have a right to protest without being harassed," Mattlage told the Associated Press. "And I'm against the war. I don't think it's a war we need to be in."
Camp Casey will begin to make the move the move today. As the AP reports, Sheehan's new host is a distant cousin of Larry Mattlage, the Crawford man who fired a shotgun in the air while Sheehan and her supporters were conducting a prayer service over the weekend.
Meanwhile, police have filed a criminal charge against the the man who allegedly expressed his displeasure with Sheehan's protest by driving his pickup truck through rows of crosses bearing the names of soldiers killed in Iraq. Larry Northern, a 59-year-old resident of Waco, Texas, was charged with felony criminal mischief. Police say he ran over 500 crosses and 40 American flags to make his point.
Camp Casey gets a home
Some of George W. Bush's Crawford, Texas, neighbors asked local county commissioners to force Cindy Sheehan and her supporters to move farther away from the president's property Tuesday, but another neighbor is making the opposite happen. Fred Mattlage, a veteran of the U.S. Army who opposes the war in Iraq, has offered Sheehan the use of his land about a mile from Bush's Prairie Chapel Ranch.
"I just think people should have a right to protest without being harassed," Mattlage told the Associated Press. "And I'm against the war. I don't think it's a war we need to be in."
Camp Casey will begin to make the move the move today. As the AP reports, Sheehan's new host is a distant cousin of Larry Mattlage, the Crawford man who fired a shotgun in the air while Sheehan and her supporters were conducting a prayer service over the weekend.
Meanwhile, police have filed a criminal charge against the the man who allegedly expressed his displeasure with Sheehan's protest by driving his pickup truck through rows of crosses bearing the names of soldiers killed in Iraq. Larry Northern, a 59-year-old resident of Waco, Texas, was charged with felony criminal mischief. Police say he ran over 500 crosses and 40 American flags to make his point.
msl.......
ok, so yesterday at work, someone had the newest martha stewart living......which included a piece on the restored shaker village down the road......the shakers were a sect that believed that the world would end any day.....so they kept men and women apart and forbade actual birth in favor of the collective group adopting stray children...their style was one of simplicity with no concern for comfort.......curiously, this was the same theme of the cover-featured apartment....elegant without any concern for comfort......there didn't seem to be a place to sit down and relax in the 900 square foot high-rent apartment despite the obviously obsene money spent on the interiors....the settee was of the wooden frame/minimal padding sort......the kind of piece that one might have in a hall to use while taking off boots.....not the sort of sitable furniture that one would want to curl up on before a sweet fireplace....the chairs across looked to be the kind more suited to a dining table rather than an inviting entertaining/living area.....remember...thsi was a 900 square foot apartment.....so there was a living/dining room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and bedroom with a tiny study off of it......even the bedroom looked less than inviting....with yet another wooden chair rather than a well-upolstered club chair with a hassock.......and though the decor was such that thomas jefferson could have just left the building......i am certain that the only cushy, comfortable place to be the in the whole set-up was the actual bed........and since the headboard was.......wooden rather than padded.......the guy doesn't have enough pillows to really prop up nicely, assuming there is a hidden tlevision to watch whilst in bed.....and certainly no bedside table to hold even the occassional glass of wine or bottle of beer........oy.......and so this home may be best suited to someone who is never home.....not much of a place to come home to...at the end of a rough day......granted, martha's crew only wrote about it, and photographed it......they didn't design it.....the owner did that himself........a new form of masochism?.......perhaps martha was drawn to the austerity......fresh from prison......and undeserving of creature comforts just yet......
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
bon anniversaire......
ok, so today marked a full year since i started my new job/lowstresslife......wow......hard to believe that i am another year older let alone gainfully employeed again for that number of paychecks........if anything my hair is darker rather than greyer...hardly....i thought about the year gone by as i listened to a mother about my age sob about how her 15 year old is starving herself to death.....and begged me to help her to find a good counselor.....and when i gave the name of the best the region has to offer......the woman sat up soberly and inquired....but is she a christian?......as if no help was better than an agnostic......or an atheist....or a muslim....or a hindu...even freud was jewish and he managed to revolutionize therapy (for better or for worse....) ...what about a christmas/easter version of churchmember.......is there a database for that subsection?........i was almost speechless.....almost........and so it goes...in the world of public health...some days i feel righteously qualified to handle the needs of all comers......and other days i am flabbergasted at the state of the area's poor health......rotting teeth, obesity, dirty faces/hands/shoeless feet..unknown birth fathers.......the bottom line......i believe that i am hwere i am supposed to be at this very moment.....and that is just fine for me..........
combined family weight......
ok, so today i contemplated a new health care descriptive.....combined family weight....cfw for short......this morning i chanced to work with a family that i estimate to have a cfw of 750 pounds.....between papa, mamma, and baby aged 1 year....suffice it to say that baby can neither crawl let alone walk at 1 year...given the extra poundage......and as a nutrition professional i had a difficult time deciding just where to start.......luckily......every issue i brought up....volume of milk, juice, etc......the baby's doctor had already addressed it correctly, so i could jusr nod and give confirming remarks about how 1 year old's really only need 3 cups of milk, not 10......omg.......at one point the baby was sliding off of mamma's lap.....and she couldn't contain him.......and she was shreiking for papa to grab him......but heavy baby's slide faster than heavy parents can rush in to grab......omg......and then to find out that these folks smoke......omg.......this poor child is also subject to secondhand smoke............again......i was fortunate to be parroting the doctor when i mentioned ear infections, risk of asthma......omg.......i felt so very thin after they left my office.................
for better or for worse.....
ok, so now that cindy sheehan's protest has become headline news, the right-eous media have gone out of their way to belittle and expose this valiant woman........and now her own spouse of 28 years has publically filed for divorce.......what a guy......presumably he is either not as shaken up about the waste of his own child's life in iraq.......or he is so brainwashed by presdient bush's spin that he has forsaken his wife........or maybe he always was an s.o.b......in which case she is better off without him.......if he were any sort of a spouse he would have been out there with her........
to tan or not to tan....
ok, so the mm will confess that she spent ample time in her youth getting a tan.......i still value a tan, though my desire for one is periodic at best.......and now that a tan can be bought in a bottle......i can divert my energy toward the greater good rather than on golden skin....despite the lack of uv rays, i still get the feeling of relief and release when the bottled stuff works out well...i can understand the addiction thing..........the following article is from ....
By Roni Rabin
Tribune Newspapers: Newsday
Published August 16, 2005
Sun worshipers often joke that they're junkies when it comes to catching rays, but a new study suggests there may really be something addictive about tanning.
The study's Texas-based researchers asked 145 randomly selected beachgoers at Galveston Island to answer questions adapted from two surveys typically used to screen for alcohol and substance dependence.
The surveys included such questions as, "Do you try to cut down on the time you spend in the sun, but find yourself still suntanning?" and "Have you ever missed any scheduled activity because you decided to go to the beach or tan?"
Depending on which of the two survey tools was used, between 26 percent and 53 percent of the beachgoers met the criteria for a substance-related disorder, albeit with regard to ultraviolet light and tanning, the authors found.
"Most of the people on the beach know that sunlight causes skin cancer--just like smokers know smoking causes lung disease and lung cancer. But they just can't stop," said senior author Dr. Richard Wagner, professor of dermatology at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston.
Those who had a sun habit said they craved the sun, sometimes thinking of suntanning first thing in the morning.
"It's taking over their life," Wagner said. "It's not that normal to be thinking about it first thing in the morning, or to be falling asleep at night thinking `I can't wait to wake up and get a tan.'"
One of the surveys was used to screen for abuse or dependence, and the other was the American Psychiatric Association's criteria for substance-related disorders. Both had been modified for ultraviolet light tanning rather than drugs or alcohol.
One explanation for sunbathing's addictive properties may be found in earlier reports that sun exposure can generate endogenous endorphins, or "feel-good" substances, in the skin, Wagner said. He said studies on this have been contradictory, but suggested individuals may vary in their responsiveness or even production of endorphins.
Dr. Leslie Christenson, author of a recent study that found a dramatic increase of non-melanoma skin cancer among people younger than 40, said she found the paper on substance-disorders intriguing, but that more work would need to be done. "Previous studies have shown the kind of stress relief people get from this kind of sun exposure," she said.
But she added that one of the most powerful motivations behind tanning is the widespread notion that a tan is "a sign of health and beauty. That is such a powerful thing," she said.
- - -
Tanning surveys
Survey 1 examples
Two or more "yes"answers were considered evidence of dependence:
1. Do you try to cut down on the time you spend in the sun, but find yourself still tanning?
2. Do you ever get annoyed when people tell you not to tan?
3. Do you ever feel guilty that you are in the sun too much?
4. When you wake up in the morning, do you want to tan?
Survey 2 examples
Three or more "yes" answers were considered evidence of a disorder:
1. Do you think you need to spend more and more time in the sun to maintain your perfect tan?
2. Do you continue tanning so your tan will not fade?
3. When you go to the beach, do you usually spend more time in the sun than you had planned?
4. Do you try other non-sun-related activities, but find you really still like spending time in the sun best of all?
5. Have you ever missed any scheduled activity because you decided to go to the beach or tan?
--Newsday
By Roni Rabin
Tribune Newspapers: Newsday
Published August 16, 2005
Sun worshipers often joke that they're junkies when it comes to catching rays, but a new study suggests there may really be something addictive about tanning.
The study's Texas-based researchers asked 145 randomly selected beachgoers at Galveston Island to answer questions adapted from two surveys typically used to screen for alcohol and substance dependence.
The surveys included such questions as, "Do you try to cut down on the time you spend in the sun, but find yourself still suntanning?" and "Have you ever missed any scheduled activity because you decided to go to the beach or tan?"
Depending on which of the two survey tools was used, between 26 percent and 53 percent of the beachgoers met the criteria for a substance-related disorder, albeit with regard to ultraviolet light and tanning, the authors found.
"Most of the people on the beach know that sunlight causes skin cancer--just like smokers know smoking causes lung disease and lung cancer. But they just can't stop," said senior author Dr. Richard Wagner, professor of dermatology at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston.
Those who had a sun habit said they craved the sun, sometimes thinking of suntanning first thing in the morning.
"It's taking over their life," Wagner said. "It's not that normal to be thinking about it first thing in the morning, or to be falling asleep at night thinking `I can't wait to wake up and get a tan.'"
One of the surveys was used to screen for abuse or dependence, and the other was the American Psychiatric Association's criteria for substance-related disorders. Both had been modified for ultraviolet light tanning rather than drugs or alcohol.
One explanation for sunbathing's addictive properties may be found in earlier reports that sun exposure can generate endogenous endorphins, or "feel-good" substances, in the skin, Wagner said. He said studies on this have been contradictory, but suggested individuals may vary in their responsiveness or even production of endorphins.
Dr. Leslie Christenson, author of a recent study that found a dramatic increase of non-melanoma skin cancer among people younger than 40, said she found the paper on substance-disorders intriguing, but that more work would need to be done. "Previous studies have shown the kind of stress relief people get from this kind of sun exposure," she said.
But she added that one of the most powerful motivations behind tanning is the widespread notion that a tan is "a sign of health and beauty. That is such a powerful thing," she said.
- - -
Tanning surveys
Survey 1 examples
Two or more "yes"answers were considered evidence of dependence:
1. Do you try to cut down on the time you spend in the sun, but find yourself still tanning?
2. Do you ever get annoyed when people tell you not to tan?
3. Do you ever feel guilty that you are in the sun too much?
4. When you wake up in the morning, do you want to tan?
Survey 2 examples
Three or more "yes" answers were considered evidence of a disorder:
1. Do you think you need to spend more and more time in the sun to maintain your perfect tan?
2. Do you continue tanning so your tan will not fade?
3. When you go to the beach, do you usually spend more time in the sun than you had planned?
4. Do you try other non-sun-related activities, but find you really still like spending time in the sun best of all?
5. Have you ever missed any scheduled activity because you decided to go to the beach or tan?
--Newsday
Monday, August 15, 2005
belated dream
ok, so i dreamed this dream a few days back.......and i was hesitant to mention it...but it clings to my daytime thoughts....and blogging about it may be the only way to free myself from it.....in the dream, i received a phone call...long distance....from a friend of a child....from somebody who needed support and comfort as she made an appointment to the kind of clinic where right-wingers picket on a daily basis.....and in my dream i got right in my car and traveled many miles to give tea and sympathy......this was no stranger.....but these particulars are not the kind of details one mentions publically or privately for fear of tempting fate........curious to dream this dream.....curious to hold onto this dream......a dream that is far from optimistic......though from another viewing point.....it may be hopeful after all.......i could take it as an affirmation.....that someone who may or may not read this blog trusted me enough to call for aid in her darkest hour........and that i would drop everything to be is also hopeful....that i may not really be as mean as advertised.........
closer to fine........
ok, so if disc 6 is playing when i go to work, then this is the song i hear about the time i turn off the highway.......a good driving song, a good endoftheday song.........a good mondayafternoonbuyingthewronggoingtocollegestuff song.........
I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
and while i am not sure which indigo girl sings which part of the harmony......the blending of their voices is uplifting.......
I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
and while i am not sure which indigo girl sings which part of the harmony......the blending of their voices is uplifting.......
wet grass......
ok so the grass between the walk and the mailbox was wet as i stepped briskly through to grab the morning newspaper......actually wet grass above what appeared to be soaked ground......the driveway had not yet dried completely......such a hopeful sight after weeks of drought/oppressive temperatures.......i will not have to water this morning.......but i will check on my key plants when i get home from work just to be on the safe side.......last night it was beginning to storm again as i dozed off......after i reset the clock alarm from the first storm that briefly knocked out power.......resetting clocks is like resetting a vcr.......necessary but annoying.......this particular clock is so sensitive that it can jump by 2-3 hours when the hour button is clicked too abruptly.......oy......but this morning, npr news began at exactly 6:30 am...right on cue.......so no harm done by the loss of power......i recall dreaming about getting my middle child off to college......lots of worries about towels and phones and blankets......and stuff for the backpacking trip.......when one worries in dreams it is such a waste of good dreaming time.....must make sure that these things are taken care of pronto so i can go back to my lowstress dream-versions of nonsequetor events and symbols........
Sunday, August 14, 2005
the pillars of the earth
ok, so i have spent the past 48 hours doing little else but reading this book.........in the spirit of harry potter's latest installment.......and i am emotionally exhausted...........harry never included such intrigue, violence, injustice, drama, and hypocracy.......and to have all the loose ends drawn up neatly by page.......973.......oy.......i have referred to the many cathedrals i have briefly visited over these many years as i read about the building of the mythical cathedral in the novel........i imagined it like salibury........thrusting out of the plain....or york minster....glorious on a sunny day.......or cologne...imposing on a major river's bank........or strasbourg......imposing despite the closeness of the ancient city dwellings.......and there is ulm with its steeple and carved choir......and chartre.......i have been bleesed to take twice the tour of the famed curate......st. paul's.....notable because we hadn't intended to go up to the top, but the middle child ran on up ahead....and one of us had to go up to make sure that he came down.....omg..........next to these, nore dame somehow pales, i believe, as does westminster....an abbey rather than a cathedral.......mincing words. to be sure......about just where a bishop could preside over services.....but i digress from the novel.....due a sequal in 2007......about the time that harry's final installment should be written, published and released.................
shame on my wanton selfish gladness.......
ok, so today we sang a hymn that included those lyrics........and it was all i could do to keep my laughter surpressed........what a line........especially considering that i had snickered to myself over the minister of music's reprise of elton-john sings cantor with new-age christian praise verses at the piano with a special mike-hooked up tot record every lilting note....he even played during ther prayers.......do i sound cynical or what?........we were treated to not one but three different numbers accompanied by a thinly voiced intern and a church member-who-wants-to-be-a-pastor on bass guitar........omg......literally......and so i mocked it all in my head...only for these lyrics to leap up at the page.......so wanton....to mock the music in church....and oh so selfish.........these days i find spiritual moments in places far from the walls of established religion.......and i can see the day when i shall cease to attend 10:45 services.....on my own volition.......should bongos or some such be added to the thin voice, elton, and the bass guitar.....i might just have to get up and walk out.......it would be just too much........on the other hand.....there has been a talented soprano sitting either behind us, beside us, or in front of us for the past several weeks........she is marvelous.......curiously so for someone who sits in the congregation rather than singing in the choir.....she did sing a duet a few weeks back....that josh groban song...along with elton-wannabe music director........she could really belt that song out.......one wonders what she does during her week......whether she is involved at all in music professionally.......i am blessed to be able to listen to her sing mainline hymns for as long as she graces us with her presence..........
book club books......
ok, so i am plowing through the book club picks......finished the perfect mile yesterday....a quick pageturner, which is surprising for a work of non-fiction....especially one in which one already knows many of the particulars in advance.......like the fact that roger bannister was the first to break the 4.0 minute mile........and i have moved on to ken follett's historical thriller......the pillars of the earth....i must admit that this book reminds me of others set in the same time period (1135, during the english civil war between those who backed empress maud and those who backed king stephen)....the 20-volume brother cadfael series written by ellis peters......and acted out by derek jacobi for british television.......in fact, many of the intrigues from the cadfael series are blended together in this 1000 page novel.......only with a lot more sex and violence than ellis peters ever owned up to.......curiously, the two fellows who suggested this book...for november.....want to do it as a costume event.......with readers dressing up as their favorite character......12th century garb........omg........surely they are joking.......so far these have been good selections.......and i have not had the urge to put either of them down.....in the way that i put down so many books this year......a memory of running....the kite runner.....a long way down.....they are still here...waiting for me to put aside my ambivalence......so many books.....so little time.....
back in the u.s. of a.........
ok, so last night our eldest called....fresh off the plane from dublin....in charlotte, north caroline......to tell us that he is ok and oh-so-tired......and so glad to be coming home........a welcome 2 minute conversation.......and yet another reminder that this child is grown up to the point that he neither needed us to get to the airport, or to pick him up when the charlotte to lexington leg is over.......and we have no idea when we will actually see him....this week.....next week.......i understand completely that this is the way things are when one's children grow up and move away.......but i didn't know until now just how much i wouldn't like the reality of the emptying nest.......
Saturday, August 13, 2005
details......
ok, so last night.....in my dreams there was a vivid scene in which i am riding in the back of a van.....talking with my eldest child just returned from ireland (note....his plane has yet to touch down in charlotte, nc......but in my dreams he was already here at home....)....and in the middle of the van was my middle child....and driving was my dad........impossible as he is long deceased...but he was driving....and my mom was riding shotgun........and i can recall asking him to pull over so i could drive.....noting that we were already lost....looking for interstate 77.....a road nowhere near here.......and as i got out of the van there was an eagle....sitting by the side of the road.....yet looking into the ditch rather than onto the pavement.....and my middle child asked why the eagle was pointed the wrong way.......these details are certainly what prompts my brain to recall this and other similarly enhanced dreams.........and it is the details that prompted me to read the perfect mile...the september book club volume in the space of 4 days.........when one knows ahead the roger bannister breaks the 4.0 minute mile mark.......the buildup to the moment must be filled in with something.....and it is these details that fascinated my waking moments......for example.......those who watched bannister's record-breaking mile on television did so because they had purchased sets in order to watch queen elizabeth's coronation the year before........and landy.....the australian who wanted to reach the 4.0 minute mile first discarded his original coach because of his wild notions about training........landy learned more from a slavic runner at the 1952 helsinki olympics in the afternoon following a viewing of the bolshoi ballet than he did from all his years with the coach that taught him that warmups weren't necessary.......ie.......if his cat could run without a warmup when he was doused by surprise with a bucket of water....then nobody else needed a warmup, either..........and the guy from kansas.....wes santee........who fled his oppressive father one afternoon by riding away on the horse that had never been ridden before because it was the only mount that his father would let him take when he left home......to college on scholarship....to break the american mile record while at kansas.....his parents came neither to track meets or to his wedding..........the details about roger bannister are the most intriguing......a fellow who ran at night after his medical studies........he was a medical resident when he broke the 4-minute mile.....and had to do rounds before and after track events........i have an affinity for details aka trivia.....and this book reminded me of others that focused on a seminal event through a buildup of details....like seabiscuit.....and chariots of fire.........i finished the book this afternoon while my pear/blueberry/lemon jam was simmering........the pears were easier to deal with this week......... a detail to be recalled years from now if ever i do anything noteworthy....................
cries and caterwalls..........
ok, so this morning, like every morning these days, my sleepy reverie was broken by the loud and desparate cries....of my aging wire-haired terrier.......who has taken to laying(?lying) on the landing of the upstairs steps at the crack of dawn.......where he cries like a baby with either loneliness, bladder bloating, hunger or all of the above......and when i drag my sorry self out of the bed, and head down the steps toward the coffeemaker....first things first........he trots along like a pleased pup......and follows me out the front door toward the mailbox.......even in the era of internet news i still feel compelled to read the local papers everyday....but he gets distracted on occassion......and forgets to follow me back to the house.......and many mornings i hear him crying/howling/whimpering on the front porch......and then by the back deck......and then back to the front porch......until someone lets him in.......all the while the cat has leaped into her own action......that of playing the role of starving, pitiable feline....an oscar-quality performance if ever i have seen one.......she carries on with her own version of a classic caterwall until such time as my coffee cream is poured out into her bowl, or i have mixed her dry food with tinned kitty treats.......just having dry cat food in her bowl is no longer up to her standards.....the dog will nose into her bowl unless a similar concoction is prepared for him....and placed far enough from her dish that he forgets that she is there for a moment....... between the dogs cries and the cats wailing........my mornings are no longer the peaceful transitions that should be the reality for the mother of 3 nearly grown children.......how did i ever manage when i had real toddlers to care for.......?
more on garrison keillor
ok, so the radio station at university of kentucky has already reversed its decision.....and will again air writer's almanac, but in a later time slot.......apparantly thare was a massive phone and email outcry.....the best quotation from the editorial page in the newspaper said something about when the collective we find garrison offensive whilst desparate housewives continues freely on the air....then we have gone too far.......the liberal lexington herald blamed fear of bush administration/republican backlash for such a foolish reaction to the word breast uttered on air.......
Friday, August 12, 2005
easy bake oven......
ok, so i just came in from closing the garage doors.......have to keep out the bat that has been hanging out during the day in the rafters.......the summer evening air is so far from cool as to be beastly.....not hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk....but warm enough to dehydrate........should i take the time to snip what chives remain in the herb bed......they could be considered dried herbs rather than fresh.......what an offensive turn the weather has taken......this evening i took the time to water the trees that seem to be stressed........especially the sweetgum tree that my dad planted the day we moved here......and the oak-leaf hydrangias....and the japanese maple.....and the redbuds.......each and every plant seems on the verge........a watering forgotten could mean certain doom.......i have no earthly idea how we survived all of those years (the 80's and the 90's) without whole house airconditioning......we did have an attic fan......which helped on days with temperatures below 95 or so.....but with heat indexes above 100 degrees......oy........it is such a luxury to have a cool place to sleep........maybe we shoud let the big dog sleep inside tonight......it is just as hard on him in this heat as it is when temperatures dip below zero.........
baby shower.....
ok, so today at lunch a baby shower was held for the r.n./health educator that i work with.......her second......and the event was potluck.......potluck snacks rather than actual sustenance.....and the array is worth a mention in this venue.....if for no other reason than to describe the pinwheels made with cream cheese, dill pickles and bologna......or the green pea/green pepper & onion relish that seemed to want something to go with it....but nothing came to mind........and then there was the potato peanut butter fudge that i could not bring myself to try despite the ooohhhs and aaaahhhs.......i brought benedectine spread with water crackers.......i have a real fondness for cucumber concoctions......and thankfully few others feel the same...i brought most of it back home........what struck me most about this occassion is that most of the gifts looked alike.....as most of my coworkers shopped at the local walmart.......and though these gifts were sweet and servicable.......i felt a pang of sadness for a child brought into this world to know only clothing bought from a single massmarketplace.......and look like all the other babies/toddlers/preteens.......
girl crushes
ok, so this article is from the nytimes .......
By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM
Published: August 11, 2005
THE woman's long black hair whipped across her pale face as she danced to punk rock at the bar. She seemed to be the life of the party. Little did she know that she was igniting a girl crush. Susan Buice was watching, and she was smitten.
Ms. Buice, 26, and the dancer (actually a clothing designer) happen to live in the same Brooklyn apartment building, so Ms. Buice, a filmmaker, was later able to soak up many other aspects of her neighbor's gritty yet feminine style: her layered gold necklaces; her fitted jackets; her dark, oversize sunglasses; and her Christian Dior perfume.
"I'm immediately nervous around her," Ms Buice said. "I stammer around her, and it's definitely because I think she's supercool."
Ms. Buice, who lives with her boyfriend, calls her attraction a girl crush, a phrase that many women in their 20's and 30's use in conversation, post on blogs and read in magazines. It refers to that fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished. And while a girl crush is, by its informal definition, not sexual in nature, the feelings that it triggers - excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty - are very much like those that accompany a new romance.
This is not a new phenomenon. Women, especially young women, have always had such feelings of adoration for each other. Social scientists suspect such emotions are part of women's nature, feelings that evolution may have favored because they helped women bond with one another and work cooperatively. What's new is the current generation's willingness to express their ardor frankly.
"Historically, talking about these kinds of feelings has gone in and out of fashion," said Paula J. Caplan, a sociologist who this fall will teach a course about the psychology of sex and gender at Harvard. Women have not been this blunt in expressing their crushes for several generations, Dr. Caplan said.
The phenomenon has been little studied, but some social scientists say they are glad that it is being discussed more, because it can be a window into how women mature emotionally.
"It's a little bit like when you're in elementary school and you first fall in love with someone," said Leslie Hunt, 34, who manages an arts internship program in New York and who once had such a potent crush on woman that she became sweaty in her presence.
Still, a crush is a relatively mild form of infatuation. People have killed themselves over true love, said Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University who has written extensively on human love. Think of Romeo and Juliet. With a girl crush, Dr. Fisher said, "you won't kill yourself if she doesn't want to jump rope with you." For that reason, girl crushes can give women safe and valuable experience in the emotions of love.
Dr. Fisher, the author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love," said girl crushes are as natural as any other kind of love. But they are romantic without being sexual. Love and lust are distinct urges, Dr. Fisher said.
This was one of the findings she and colleagues from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and the State University at Stony Brook made when they analyzed brain scans of people 18- to 26-years-old who were experiencing new love. Love and lust, it turned out, could be mapped to several separate parts of the brain.
"The brain system for romantic love is associated with intense energy, focused energy, obsessive things - a host of characteristics that you can feel not just toward a mating sweetheart," Dr. Fisher said, adding that "there's every reason to think that girls can fall in love with other girls without feeling sexual towards them, without the intention to marry them."
Wendy Lim, 26, a student at Harvard Business School, experienced such feelings about a year ago when she met another young woman in a Boston bar. The woman was open and outgoing, and when the evening was over, Ms. Lim very much wanted to talk to her again. "I remember at the end of the night wanting her phone number," Ms. Lim said, who felt awkward about asking. "I wouldn't ask a guy for his number."
As it turned out, the woman asked Ms. Lim for her number. The two saw each other again, and Ms. Lim's crush quickly blossomed into friendship, a friendship the women now cherish.
Crushes are typically fleeting, and infatuation often turns to friendship in this way. Lisa Lerer, a journalist, and Laila Hlass, a law student, both 25 and both of New York, started their friendship several years ago with a mutual crush. "We're still in love," Ms. Lerer said, "but the wooing period is over."
Tammea Tyler, 28, assistant director of child development services at the Y.M.C.A. of Greater New York, has a crush that looks as if it soon will make the change. The object of her infatuation is a colleague, Denise Zimmer, senior executive for government operation, who is 48.
Ms. Tyler said she admires Ms. Zimmer's intellect and her inner strength. "She really knows her stuff, and there's something almost sexy about that," Ms. Tyler said. "There's just something really sexy and powerful."
Ms. Zimmer, when a reporter told her about Ms. Tyler's feelings, said: "I was very surprised. Sometimes, when you don't have a direct relationship with someone, you don't really understand how they're observing you."
And while Ms. Zimmer did not say she had a reciprocal crush, she did say that she considers Ms. Tyler talented and grounded and that "it's exciting to work with someone who has shown that kind of interest." She added, "It's a mutual respect."
Once a crush is revealed, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. "I think that I will be more sensitive and more focused on sharing things with her that I think will help her achieve some of the goals that she has," Ms. Zimmer said.
Sometimes, though, a girl crush is so strong it makes the object of affection uneasy, killing the possibility of friendship.
Jane Weeks, 44, a freelance art and creative director in Truckee, Calif., knows what it is like to be the object of another woman's crush. She has encountered a few women who have eagerly adopted her tastes in food and interior design, her favorite colors, even her hairdresser. "At first it's flattering you're inspiring them," she said. "When they parrot back parts of yourself, it's extremely uncomfortable."
Ms. Weeks, an outdoorswoman who has hiked through the Andes from Argentina to Chile, said some women are more enamored with what she represents - "some National Geographic chick" - than with who she is. "When you're on a pedestal, there's no way but down," she said. "And it's lonely up there. You can't share your weaknesses."
Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the relationship expert at PerfectMatch.com, said she also has been a frequent subject of girl crushes - from her students. Some have made it obvious by bringing gifts, including earrings, flowers and even poems. But Dr. Schwartz does not encourage her students to look at her with starry eyes. She would rather they look to her for guidance on developing their careers.
"You're a hero because they think you've done something unimaginably powerful," Dr. Schwartz said. "Your job is to show them that they own something equally special."
Perhaps the last time that young women were as willing as they are now to admit to their attraction to each other was in the 19th century. "Back when Louisa May Alcott was writing, women were writing these letters to each other," Dr. Caplan said. "They wrote: 'I miss you desperately. I long to hug you and talk to you all night.' " Referring to another woman as a girl crush, she said, is not dissimilar to that 19th century behavior.
But such impassioned expressions of affection were uncommon, for instance, in the 1960's and 70's, when homophobia was even more rampant than it is today, Dr. Caplan said. Women were often uncomfortable admitting to strong feelings for other women, fearing that their emotions would seem lesbian, she said. And those same women, older now, can still be shy about expressing their emotions for each other. "Women my age are more likely to say 'I adore' or 'I value' my women friends,' not girl crush," she said.
As for men, to the extent they may feel such emotions for each other, Dr. Caplan said they are less likely than women to express them. They are not reared to show their emotions. "A man talking about emotions about another man? Everybody's homophobic feelings are elicited by that, and that's because men aren't supposed to talk about feelings at all," Dr. Caplan said.
Susan Malsbury, 24, who lives in Brooklyn and is a booking agent for bands, said that because a girl crush has the potential to become an important part of one's life, she cannot help but feel a tinge of excitement whenever she meets a fascinating woman to add to her collection of crushes.
"They're better than boy crushes," Ms. Malsbury said, with more than a hint of mischief in her voice. "You don't have to break up with them after two weeks."
By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM
Published: August 11, 2005
THE woman's long black hair whipped across her pale face as she danced to punk rock at the bar. She seemed to be the life of the party. Little did she know that she was igniting a girl crush. Susan Buice was watching, and she was smitten.
Ms. Buice, 26, and the dancer (actually a clothing designer) happen to live in the same Brooklyn apartment building, so Ms. Buice, a filmmaker, was later able to soak up many other aspects of her neighbor's gritty yet feminine style: her layered gold necklaces; her fitted jackets; her dark, oversize sunglasses; and her Christian Dior perfume.
"I'm immediately nervous around her," Ms Buice said. "I stammer around her, and it's definitely because I think she's supercool."
Ms. Buice, who lives with her boyfriend, calls her attraction a girl crush, a phrase that many women in their 20's and 30's use in conversation, post on blogs and read in magazines. It refers to that fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished. And while a girl crush is, by its informal definition, not sexual in nature, the feelings that it triggers - excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty - are very much like those that accompany a new romance.
This is not a new phenomenon. Women, especially young women, have always had such feelings of adoration for each other. Social scientists suspect such emotions are part of women's nature, feelings that evolution may have favored because they helped women bond with one another and work cooperatively. What's new is the current generation's willingness to express their ardor frankly.
"Historically, talking about these kinds of feelings has gone in and out of fashion," said Paula J. Caplan, a sociologist who this fall will teach a course about the psychology of sex and gender at Harvard. Women have not been this blunt in expressing their crushes for several generations, Dr. Caplan said.
The phenomenon has been little studied, but some social scientists say they are glad that it is being discussed more, because it can be a window into how women mature emotionally.
"It's a little bit like when you're in elementary school and you first fall in love with someone," said Leslie Hunt, 34, who manages an arts internship program in New York and who once had such a potent crush on woman that she became sweaty in her presence.
Still, a crush is a relatively mild form of infatuation. People have killed themselves over true love, said Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University who has written extensively on human love. Think of Romeo and Juliet. With a girl crush, Dr. Fisher said, "you won't kill yourself if she doesn't want to jump rope with you." For that reason, girl crushes can give women safe and valuable experience in the emotions of love.
Dr. Fisher, the author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love," said girl crushes are as natural as any other kind of love. But they are romantic without being sexual. Love and lust are distinct urges, Dr. Fisher said.
This was one of the findings she and colleagues from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and the State University at Stony Brook made when they analyzed brain scans of people 18- to 26-years-old who were experiencing new love. Love and lust, it turned out, could be mapped to several separate parts of the brain.
"The brain system for romantic love is associated with intense energy, focused energy, obsessive things - a host of characteristics that you can feel not just toward a mating sweetheart," Dr. Fisher said, adding that "there's every reason to think that girls can fall in love with other girls without feeling sexual towards them, without the intention to marry them."
Wendy Lim, 26, a student at Harvard Business School, experienced such feelings about a year ago when she met another young woman in a Boston bar. The woman was open and outgoing, and when the evening was over, Ms. Lim very much wanted to talk to her again. "I remember at the end of the night wanting her phone number," Ms. Lim said, who felt awkward about asking. "I wouldn't ask a guy for his number."
As it turned out, the woman asked Ms. Lim for her number. The two saw each other again, and Ms. Lim's crush quickly blossomed into friendship, a friendship the women now cherish.
Crushes are typically fleeting, and infatuation often turns to friendship in this way. Lisa Lerer, a journalist, and Laila Hlass, a law student, both 25 and both of New York, started their friendship several years ago with a mutual crush. "We're still in love," Ms. Lerer said, "but the wooing period is over."
Tammea Tyler, 28, assistant director of child development services at the Y.M.C.A. of Greater New York, has a crush that looks as if it soon will make the change. The object of her infatuation is a colleague, Denise Zimmer, senior executive for government operation, who is 48.
Ms. Tyler said she admires Ms. Zimmer's intellect and her inner strength. "She really knows her stuff, and there's something almost sexy about that," Ms. Tyler said. "There's just something really sexy and powerful."
Ms. Zimmer, when a reporter told her about Ms. Tyler's feelings, said: "I was very surprised. Sometimes, when you don't have a direct relationship with someone, you don't really understand how they're observing you."
And while Ms. Zimmer did not say she had a reciprocal crush, she did say that she considers Ms. Tyler talented and grounded and that "it's exciting to work with someone who has shown that kind of interest." She added, "It's a mutual respect."
Once a crush is revealed, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. "I think that I will be more sensitive and more focused on sharing things with her that I think will help her achieve some of the goals that she has," Ms. Zimmer said.
Sometimes, though, a girl crush is so strong it makes the object of affection uneasy, killing the possibility of friendship.
Jane Weeks, 44, a freelance art and creative director in Truckee, Calif., knows what it is like to be the object of another woman's crush. She has encountered a few women who have eagerly adopted her tastes in food and interior design, her favorite colors, even her hairdresser. "At first it's flattering you're inspiring them," she said. "When they parrot back parts of yourself, it's extremely uncomfortable."
Ms. Weeks, an outdoorswoman who has hiked through the Andes from Argentina to Chile, said some women are more enamored with what she represents - "some National Geographic chick" - than with who she is. "When you're on a pedestal, there's no way but down," she said. "And it's lonely up there. You can't share your weaknesses."
Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the relationship expert at PerfectMatch.com, said she also has been a frequent subject of girl crushes - from her students. Some have made it obvious by bringing gifts, including earrings, flowers and even poems. But Dr. Schwartz does not encourage her students to look at her with starry eyes. She would rather they look to her for guidance on developing their careers.
"You're a hero because they think you've done something unimaginably powerful," Dr. Schwartz said. "Your job is to show them that they own something equally special."
Perhaps the last time that young women were as willing as they are now to admit to their attraction to each other was in the 19th century. "Back when Louisa May Alcott was writing, women were writing these letters to each other," Dr. Caplan said. "They wrote: 'I miss you desperately. I long to hug you and talk to you all night.' " Referring to another woman as a girl crush, she said, is not dissimilar to that 19th century behavior.
But such impassioned expressions of affection were uncommon, for instance, in the 1960's and 70's, when homophobia was even more rampant than it is today, Dr. Caplan said. Women were often uncomfortable admitting to strong feelings for other women, fearing that their emotions would seem lesbian, she said. And those same women, older now, can still be shy about expressing their emotions for each other. "Women my age are more likely to say 'I adore' or 'I value' my women friends,' not girl crush," she said.
As for men, to the extent they may feel such emotions for each other, Dr. Caplan said they are less likely than women to express them. They are not reared to show their emotions. "A man talking about emotions about another man? Everybody's homophobic feelings are elicited by that, and that's because men aren't supposed to talk about feelings at all," Dr. Caplan said.
Susan Malsbury, 24, who lives in Brooklyn and is a booking agent for bands, said that because a girl crush has the potential to become an important part of one's life, she cannot help but feel a tinge of excitement whenever she meets a fascinating woman to add to her collection of crushes.
"They're better than boy crushes," Ms. Malsbury said, with more than a hint of mischief in her voice. "You don't have to break up with them after two weeks."
censorship
ok, so the u of k public radio outlet has decided to cancel it's twice daily broadcast of garrison keillor's writer's almanac......claiming obcenity.......the lexington was kind enough to list recent days when the poems were considered too much for this area's sensibilities.....you be the judge...
Reunion by amber sumrall auguest 2
In your old pickup we drive the length of the island looking for
blackberries and trails that lead to the lighthouse, tell stories
about our six cats, the ones we divided when I left. I took your
favorites, the ones that were mine before we met. Your fifth
marriage is faltering. I am falling in love for the third time since
we separated. All you want to do is fish in your father's rowboat,
build a small cabin on five acres of land. Beyond right now,
I don't know what I want. Somewhere on Orcas another woman
dreams of you, waits for you to enter her life.
We smoke from your well-seasoned pipe, nervous as new
lovers. Those last months I refused to get high with you; we
always fought afterward. I remember why I loved you and why,
after ten years, I left. The reasons blend together, rise with the
smoke and dissipate. You ask me to tell you why, once again.
Each time the story is different, a work in progress. Days pass
in one afternoon. Is there still a chance, you ask.
We smile at one another, our defenses down. No one knows
us better. At the trailhead you pick purple flowers, hand
them to me, suddenly shy. I trip over exposed roots as we walk,
instinctively take your outstretched hand then let it go. In the
lagoon a pair of herons dance for one another, lowering their
long necks in courtship. Hidden behind boulders, we watch in
silence until the birds lift and disappear beyond the lighthouse.
There is always a chance, I say.
Curse Of The Cat Woman by edward field....july 23
It sometimes happens
that the woman you meet and fall in love with
is of that strange Transylvanian people
with an affinity for cats.
You take her to a restaurant, say, or a show,
on an ordinary date, being attracted
by the glitter in her slitty eyes and her catlike walk,
and afterwards of course you take her in your arms
and she turns into a black panther
and bites you to death.
Or perhaps you are saved in the nick of time
and she is tormented by the knowledge of her tendency:
That she daren't hug a man
unless she wants to risk clawing him up.
This puts you both in a difficult position— panting lovers who are prevented from touching
not by bars but by circumstance:
You have terrible fights and say cruel things
for having the hots does not give you a sweet temper.
One night you are walking down a dark street
And hear the pad-pad of a panther following you,
but when you turn around there are only shadows,
or perhaps one shadow too many.
You approach, calling, "Who's there?"
and it leaps on you.
Luckily you have brought along your sword
and you stab it to death.
And before your eyes it turns into the woman you love,
her breast impaled on your sword,
her mouth dribbling blood saying she loved you
but couldn't help her tendency.
So death released her from the curse at last,
and you knew from the angelic smile on her dead face
that in spite of a life the devil owned,
love had won, and heaven pardoned her.
i feel honored to receive writer's almanac delivered daily to my email inbox......and though i do not always take the time to read them in the 24-hour period suggested by the date...i fo get them read eventually,,,,,,such a big deal over small mentions of sex or drugs......both of which are part of people's lives, for better or for worse......
Reunion by amber sumrall auguest 2
In your old pickup we drive the length of the island looking for
blackberries and trails that lead to the lighthouse, tell stories
about our six cats, the ones we divided when I left. I took your
favorites, the ones that were mine before we met. Your fifth
marriage is faltering. I am falling in love for the third time since
we separated. All you want to do is fish in your father's rowboat,
build a small cabin on five acres of land. Beyond right now,
I don't know what I want. Somewhere on Orcas another woman
dreams of you, waits for you to enter her life.
We smoke from your well-seasoned pipe, nervous as new
lovers. Those last months I refused to get high with you; we
always fought afterward. I remember why I loved you and why,
after ten years, I left. The reasons blend together, rise with the
smoke and dissipate. You ask me to tell you why, once again.
Each time the story is different, a work in progress. Days pass
in one afternoon. Is there still a chance, you ask.
We smile at one another, our defenses down. No one knows
us better. At the trailhead you pick purple flowers, hand
them to me, suddenly shy. I trip over exposed roots as we walk,
instinctively take your outstretched hand then let it go. In the
lagoon a pair of herons dance for one another, lowering their
long necks in courtship. Hidden behind boulders, we watch in
silence until the birds lift and disappear beyond the lighthouse.
There is always a chance, I say.
Curse Of The Cat Woman by edward field....july 23
It sometimes happens
that the woman you meet and fall in love with
is of that strange Transylvanian people
with an affinity for cats.
You take her to a restaurant, say, or a show,
on an ordinary date, being attracted
by the glitter in her slitty eyes and her catlike walk,
and afterwards of course you take her in your arms
and she turns into a black panther
and bites you to death.
Or perhaps you are saved in the nick of time
and she is tormented by the knowledge of her tendency:
That she daren't hug a man
unless she wants to risk clawing him up.
This puts you both in a difficult position— panting lovers who are prevented from touching
not by bars but by circumstance:
You have terrible fights and say cruel things
for having the hots does not give you a sweet temper.
One night you are walking down a dark street
And hear the pad-pad of a panther following you,
but when you turn around there are only shadows,
or perhaps one shadow too many.
You approach, calling, "Who's there?"
and it leaps on you.
Luckily you have brought along your sword
and you stab it to death.
And before your eyes it turns into the woman you love,
her breast impaled on your sword,
her mouth dribbling blood saying she loved you
but couldn't help her tendency.
So death released her from the curse at last,
and you knew from the angelic smile on her dead face
that in spite of a life the devil owned,
love had won, and heaven pardoned her.
i feel honored to receive writer's almanac delivered daily to my email inbox......and though i do not always take the time to read them in the 24-hour period suggested by the date...i fo get them read eventually,,,,,,such a big deal over small mentions of sex or drugs......both of which are part of people's lives, for better or for worse......
Thursday, August 11, 2005
an extra onion......
ok, so i have really gotten into grilled vegetables this summer.......as an adornment to fajitas....or just to have grilled vegetables as a side.....and i love them so much that i have taken to cutting up an extra onion just to accomodate the numerous tastings that are bound to happen at the grill.......this evening i sat outside on the porch and tended the grill whilst reading the aarp magazine......which i would hesitate to mention were it not for the fact that i read almost every piece therein.......a [promising sign as magazines go....and i am somewhat of a junkie for glossy printed media.......i read about shirley mcclain......of course i would...her mother is one of the few women i have ever read about with the first name kathlyn.........and i read the piece about alzheimers.....and about cooking schools abroad.......and about women mothering children at nontraditional ages......not necessarily a subject that fits like a glove......but interesting nonetheless.....it would take a miracle, by the way.........and so i have no fears other than to be a grandmother earlier than expected/desired/explainable.......i have already ridden the exercyle 45 minutes and plan another 45 later on........when the onion wears off, i suppose....anything is better than the current aroma....sickingly sweet smells.......i am certain that my 12-year old is spraying copious amounts of pre-teen cologne...omg......but i digress.......gathering this brood together for a meal together is a daily goal.........and that is why at 7:28 we have yet to eat supper.....can't wait for the rest of the onion................
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
ok, so this piece was in today's nytimes...in support of cindy sheehan's vigil outside crawford, texas...in support of her son slain in iraq....August 10, 2005
Why No Tea and Sympathy?
By MAUREEN DOWD
W. can't get no satisfaction on Iraq.
There's an angry mother of a dead soldier camping outside his Crawford ranch, demanding to see a president who prefers his sympathy to be carefully choreographed.
A new CNN-USA Today-Gallup poll shows that a majority of Americans now think that going to war was a mistake and that the war has made the U.S. more vulnerable to terrorism. So fighting them there means it's more likely we'll have to fight them here? Donald Rumsfeld acknowledged yesterday that sophisticated bombs were streaming over the border from Iran to Iraq.And the Rolling Stones have taken a rare break from sex odes to record an antiwar song called "Sweet Neo Con," chiding Condi Rice and Mr. Bush. "You call yourself a Christian; I call you a hypocrite," Mick Jagger sings.
The N.F.L. put out a press release on Monday announcing that it's teaming up with the Stones and ABC to promote "Monday Night Football." The flag-waving N.F.L. could still back out if there's pressure, but the mood seems to have shifted since Madonna chickened out of showing an antiwar music video in 2003. The White House used to be able to tamp down criticism by saying it hurt our troops, but more people are asking the White House to explain how it plans to stop our troops from getting hurt.
Cindy Sheehan, a 48-year-old Californian with a knack for P.R., says she will camp out in the dusty heat near the ranch until she gets to tell Mr. Bush face to face that he must pull all U.S. troops out of Iraq. Her son, Casey, a 24-year-old Army specialist, was killed in a Sadr City ambush last year. The president met with her family two months after Casey's death. Capturing W.'s awkwardness in traversing the line between somber and joking, and his love of generic labels, Ms. Sheehan said that W. had referred to her as "Mom" throughout the meeting, and given her the sense that he did not know who her son was. The Bush team tried to discredit "Mom" by pointing reporters to an old article in which she sounded kinder to W. If only her husband were an undercover C.I.A. operative, the Bushies could out him. But even if they send out a squad of Swift Boat Moms for Truth, there will be a countering Falluja Moms for Truth. It's amazing that the White House does not have the elementary shrewdness to have Mr. Bush simply walk down the driveway and hear the woman out, or invite her in for a cup of tea. But W., who has spent nearly 20 percent of his presidency at his ranch, is burrowed into his five-week vacation and two-hour daily workouts. He may be in great shape, but Iraq sure isn't.It's hard to think of another president who lived in such meta-insulation. His rigidly controlled environment allows no chance encounters with anyone who disagrees. He never has to defend himself to anyone, and that is cognitively injurious. He's a populist who never meets people - an ordinary guy who clears brush, and brush is the only thing he talks to. Mr. Bush hails Texas as a place where he can return to his roots. But is he mixing it up there with anyone besides Vulcans, Pioneers and Rangers? W.'s idea of consolation was to dispatch Stephen Hadley, the national security adviser, to talk to Ms. Sheehan, underscoring the inhumane humanitarianism of his foreign policy. Mr. Hadley is just a suit, one of the hard-line Unsweet Neo Cons who helped hype America into this war. It's getting harder for the president to hide from the human consequences of his actions and to control human sentiment about the war by pulling a curtain over the 1,835 troops killed in Iraq; the more than 13,000 wounded, many shorn of limbs; and the number of slain Iraqi civilians - perhaps 25,000, or perhaps double or triple that. More people with impeccable credentials are coming forward to serve as a countervailing moral authority to challenge Mr. Bush. Paul Hackett, a Marine major who served in Iraq and criticized the president on his conduct of the war, narrowly lost last week when he ran for Congress as a Democrat in a Republican stronghold in Cincinnati. Newt Gingrich warned that the race should "serve as a wake-up call to Republicans" about 2006. Selectively humane, Mr. Bush justified his Iraq war by stressing the 9/11 losses. He emphasized the humanity of the Iraqis who desire freedom when his W.M.D. rationale vaporized. But his humanitarianism will remain inhumane as long as he fails to understand that the moral authority of parents who bury children killed in Iraq is absolute.
hysterical homophobia.......
ok, so i read with diffused amusement the article from fotf...dr dobson's far-right site on raising far-right children........about making sure that one's male children grow up to be men....and one's female children grow up to be women.....this article actually had links to therapies that one can engage....essential prior to your potentially deviant child reaching puberty.......omg........this guy dobson can't have actually met many gay folks.......if this list of symptoms is to be taken seriously.......most of the gay males that i have known over the past few years did not fall into this narrow category of cross-dresser types.........and as for the part about feeling different from those around you.....that isn't too difficult in these parts....and that can have absolutely nothing to do with gender confusion........
the passing of the torch.......
ok, so it is not quite the passing of the torch.....it is more like the passing off of a legendary running/biking event.....the pound and pedal, held annually the saturday of labor day weekend.....will neither start nor finish just outside our front gate this year.......it is moving further afield...and to a younger couple with a huge yard and a pool.......pretty good location for morning event that sometimes morphs into the afternoon and evening.....or so it did when we (collectively) were younger.....it started 20 or so years ago as a 20 mile team thing.....from our friend mark's law office to his house way out in the country......you and a partner shared a bike.....and when you were running the partner biked, and viceversa.......and both partners had to be finished before their time was recorded....got it?.......we had a potluck afterwards...and when the host invested in a hot tub....they moved to town about 10 years ago....and we have hosted the event ever since........but now that our (collective older runners/bikers/walkers) children have either grown, or have multiple activities, or we have tickets to college football games....or have children to take to college.......us old-timers need to move aside and allow the young whipper-snappers with no children or babes in playpens to take over.......i was pondering all of this as i watered my remaining plants at 6:30 am.....how the summer heat had usually baked my garden to a crisp by the last weekend of summer......and how we really needed to come up with a memorial day weekend event.......for selfish reasons......the garden looks like an earthly paradise about then.........yeah......we host book club for dinner in february every year....but it is dark and snowy then.......what we need is a bike/run concept that is adaptable to late may/early june that will neither interfere with the end of school, nor the state track meet.......nor band festival......hmmm.....must be something......
borrowed words from garrison keillor
ok, so when i read this piece from salon.com this morning.......i loved this man more than i usually do.....i thoroughly enjoy his brand of humor.......and his frustration with aging/weight......
Weighing the options
Is finding one's inner Puritan the true path to weight loss and eternal happiness?
- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Garrison Keillor
Aug. 10, 2005 | My plan to become slender and willowy and alluring is not working out and the reason seems to be that though I go for days and days eating only celery and RyKrisp and a soup made from birch twigs and lichen, I black out occasionally and when I regain consciousness I am crouched over the half-eaten carcass of a gazelle and my hands and face are red and sticky and I’m disgusted, of course, and yet very rare gazelle does taste good when you’re hungry, and the exertion of chasing one and bringing it down does make a person ravenous.
When I tell people I want to lose weight, I wish they’d look at me in slack-jawed amazement and cry, "You? Lose weight? Are you mad? You are the very picture of slim-hipped elegance." But people don’t, they say, "Have you heard about the North Shore diet?" or "I was reading something about losing weight while you sleep." So there seems to be a perception out there that less of me might be a Good Thing.
The North Shore diet involves herring and boiled potatoes and butter but it also involves rowing a 14-foot boat for hours a day in heavy swells and I don’t have the time. The sleep method uses a metabolism-enhancing drug that raises your heartbeat rate to that of an adolescent hummingbird, but it’s only available by mail order from a P.O. box in Juarez.
There are weight-loss groups one could join, such as Men Coming to Terms with Their Bodies, in which hefty fellows sit in a circle of folding chairs and drink coffee from Styrofoam cups and talk about how happy it made Mom to see her boy grow big and strong and so they ate like farmhands for 30 years and now they’re not strong, just big, and before they can start becoming smaller, they need to face the risk of Mom’s disappointment. There is weeping that goes on in these groups, and I am all for men weeping so long as it’s other men doing it.
There is, of course, surgery. A surgeon can trim off all the wobbly parts and the scarring is minimal, nothing that can’t be concealed by a turtleneck and a poncho. But strange things can happen in the O.R. I know nurses and they talk. Your bellybutton might wind up in your armpit. Your butt could come out lopsided and you’d have to wear orthopedic pants so you wouldn’t list to starboard.
Probably there are legal medications that would help me lose weight easily and also make me giddy with happiness, and if I worked in a drugstore and had a long weekend when I didn’t have to operate a motor vehicle, I could experiment with a few drugs and find the one that’s right for me, but I don’t want to be on meds, I want to rely on Strength of Character.
That is the only way to lose weight: to look in the mirror and decide that weight must be lost and declare a white alert -- no more white food -- and put a zero-dessert policy into effect and rule out any food that had eyes. Mainly, you skip all the food you like. It’s the end of BBQ, the beginning of BBC (braised bok choy). There is so much that can be done with lentils! But the time to start is now. Otherwise I should plan on becoming an attraction in the carnival, lying in a tent under the sign "PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE FAT MAN. NO PHOTOGRAPHS. POSTCARDS ARE ON SALE IN SOUVENIR SHOP."
"But, good sir," you say, "food is one of life’s beautiful rewards -- the standing rib roast, the chocolate truffles soaked in bourbon -- anticipation of the evening repast is all that keeps us going through the endless dreary afternoon on the corporate treadmill. How shall you find the strength to persevere, knowing that your supper will be bok choy?"
How shall I find the strength? Through the power of self-righteousness, that’s how. I will sit with my celery consomme and undressed salad of bitter greens and look across the table at your gazelle au jus and think, "I used to be a helpless glutton like these pitiful idiots and thank you, Lord, for lifting my feet from the miry clay and pointing me to the heights that I currently occupy." Pure airtight self-righteousness is a powerful engine. There is a bony blue-nosed bullet-eyed Puritan inside each one of us and I intend to find mine and put him to work.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Weighing the options
Is finding one's inner Puritan the true path to weight loss and eternal happiness?
- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Garrison Keillor
Aug. 10, 2005 | My plan to become slender and willowy and alluring is not working out and the reason seems to be that though I go for days and days eating only celery and RyKrisp and a soup made from birch twigs and lichen, I black out occasionally and when I regain consciousness I am crouched over the half-eaten carcass of a gazelle and my hands and face are red and sticky and I’m disgusted, of course, and yet very rare gazelle does taste good when you’re hungry, and the exertion of chasing one and bringing it down does make a person ravenous.
When I tell people I want to lose weight, I wish they’d look at me in slack-jawed amazement and cry, "You? Lose weight? Are you mad? You are the very picture of slim-hipped elegance." But people don’t, they say, "Have you heard about the North Shore diet?" or "I was reading something about losing weight while you sleep." So there seems to be a perception out there that less of me might be a Good Thing.
The North Shore diet involves herring and boiled potatoes and butter but it also involves rowing a 14-foot boat for hours a day in heavy swells and I don’t have the time. The sleep method uses a metabolism-enhancing drug that raises your heartbeat rate to that of an adolescent hummingbird, but it’s only available by mail order from a P.O. box in Juarez.
There are weight-loss groups one could join, such as Men Coming to Terms with Their Bodies, in which hefty fellows sit in a circle of folding chairs and drink coffee from Styrofoam cups and talk about how happy it made Mom to see her boy grow big and strong and so they ate like farmhands for 30 years and now they’re not strong, just big, and before they can start becoming smaller, they need to face the risk of Mom’s disappointment. There is weeping that goes on in these groups, and I am all for men weeping so long as it’s other men doing it.
There is, of course, surgery. A surgeon can trim off all the wobbly parts and the scarring is minimal, nothing that can’t be concealed by a turtleneck and a poncho. But strange things can happen in the O.R. I know nurses and they talk. Your bellybutton might wind up in your armpit. Your butt could come out lopsided and you’d have to wear orthopedic pants so you wouldn’t list to starboard.
Probably there are legal medications that would help me lose weight easily and also make me giddy with happiness, and if I worked in a drugstore and had a long weekend when I didn’t have to operate a motor vehicle, I could experiment with a few drugs and find the one that’s right for me, but I don’t want to be on meds, I want to rely on Strength of Character.
That is the only way to lose weight: to look in the mirror and decide that weight must be lost and declare a white alert -- no more white food -- and put a zero-dessert policy into effect and rule out any food that had eyes. Mainly, you skip all the food you like. It’s the end of BBQ, the beginning of BBC (braised bok choy). There is so much that can be done with lentils! But the time to start is now. Otherwise I should plan on becoming an attraction in the carnival, lying in a tent under the sign "PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE FAT MAN. NO PHOTOGRAPHS. POSTCARDS ARE ON SALE IN SOUVENIR SHOP."
"But, good sir," you say, "food is one of life’s beautiful rewards -- the standing rib roast, the chocolate truffles soaked in bourbon -- anticipation of the evening repast is all that keeps us going through the endless dreary afternoon on the corporate treadmill. How shall you find the strength to persevere, knowing that your supper will be bok choy?"
How shall I find the strength? Through the power of self-righteousness, that’s how. I will sit with my celery consomme and undressed salad of bitter greens and look across the table at your gazelle au jus and think, "I used to be a helpless glutton like these pitiful idiots and thank you, Lord, for lifting my feet from the miry clay and pointing me to the heights that I currently occupy." Pure airtight self-righteousness is a powerful engine. There is a bony blue-nosed bullet-eyed Puritan inside each one of us and I intend to find mine and put him to work.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
enough of minimalism....
ok, so i wish i had said this......from the nytimes.......F. SCOTT FITZGERALD is said to have told Thomas Wolfe that there are two kinds of writers: taker-outers and putter-inners. There are minimalists, in the Hemingway mode, who pare their prose to the bare essentials, and maximalists, like Wolfe, who never met a descriptive detail he didn't like. ..........The same applies to home design. Some people spend a lifetime accumulating; others spend it throwing out. i am the accumulator in a fmaily...whilst my spouse contends that he could make do with a sleeping bag thrown in the corner........this IS a direct quote...not just a supposition.......and yet we seem to manage with all that i have and cannot throw away........
beer money......
ok, so i have had a really good belly laugh over this....from the carolinas......
In April, Anheuser-Busch Co. -- based in St. Louis, Missouri -- wrote a $5,000 check intended for the state Republican Party.Instead, the envelope was addressed to the state Democratic Party, which promptly deposited the money. Now, state GOP leaders say the South Carolina Democratic Party needs to return the beer money they are owed.
Democrats say the check is in the mail.
hey, the check was sent to the dems....and i say,,,finders, keepers......this sooooooreminds me of the first time i ever bounced a check of my own......i was a newlywed....and in my haste to pay the electric bill......i wrote the check for the balance in my checkbook rather than for the bill itself.....and the electric company cashed it and deposited it against future bills......oy........i was still stuck for the checks that came after......so.......i have little sympathy for those who send the rightcheck to the wrong place.......
In April, Anheuser-Busch Co. -- based in St. Louis, Missouri -- wrote a $5,000 check intended for the state Republican Party.Instead, the envelope was addressed to the state Democratic Party, which promptly deposited the money. Now, state GOP leaders say the South Carolina Democratic Party needs to return the beer money they are owed.
Democrats say the check is in the mail.
hey, the check was sent to the dems....and i say,,,finders, keepers......this sooooooreminds me of the first time i ever bounced a check of my own......i was a newlywed....and in my haste to pay the electric bill......i wrote the check for the balance in my checkbook rather than for the bill itself.....and the electric company cashed it and deposited it against future bills......oy........i was still stuck for the checks that came after......so.......i have little sympathy for those who send the rightcheck to the wrong place.......
ny senate race?......
ok, so mm thinks it is quite curious...the woman who has announced that she will run against hillary in ny......is married to a convicted felon.......
from the washington post....
Jeanine Pirro's campaign Web site announcing her bid to challenge Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton features more than 100 photos _ none of which include her husband.
There's Pirro with singer Tony Bennett and the late actor Ossie Davis; with Republican Govs. George Pataki of New York and Arnold Schwarzenegger of California; and with Democrats including Bobby Kennedy Jr. and the Rev. Al Sharpton. There's even one of Pirro with a monkey. But none shows the Westchester County district attorney with her husband, Albert, a lawyer-lobbyist who spent 11 months in federal prison on a tax fraud conviction.
we don't have to ask which candidate the spouse will vote for.......
from the washington post....
Jeanine Pirro's campaign Web site announcing her bid to challenge Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton features more than 100 photos _ none of which include her husband.
There's Pirro with singer Tony Bennett and the late actor Ossie Davis; with Republican Govs. George Pataki of New York and Arnold Schwarzenegger of California; and with Democrats including Bobby Kennedy Jr. and the Rev. Al Sharpton. There's even one of Pirro with a monkey. But none shows the Westchester County district attorney with her husband, Albert, a lawyer-lobbyist who spent 11 months in federal prison on a tax fraud conviction.
we don't have to ask which candidate the spouse will vote for.......
stealing thy neighbors wi-fi.....
ok, so cnn-money had an article on line today about whether or not it should be illegal to use wi-fi that you have not paid for or do not have specific permission to use........and i say......yes and no.....mostly no.......bear with me....my opinion stems from the notion that wi-fi waves are sent un-bidden- into the atmosphere.......and within a certain range.....may be picked up by anybody with wi-fi equipped electronics......in this light......wi-fi is like.....say....light....should all of the neighbors have to share in the cost of a neighbors secruity light pole just because it shines into their yard.......even though they were not consulted in it's positioning or it wattage?.......and do we ask neighbors to pay for aromas, both good and bad...that come from one's property....say.....the smell of freshly made bread sunday night as opposed to the smell of one's neighbors burning trash.......or should we have to pay for any music overheard from stereos too loud.......should i charge my neighbors a small fee for the priviledge of beholding my rose trellis in full bloom.......it is pleasing to the eye....and has a lovely lemon scent that wafts surely beyond the property line......which brings me back to my point.....if my wi-fi signal travels beyond my boundaries......how can it be illegal if someone else uses it........isn't it my job to safeguard my own personal data........the real concern in the usage of my wi-fi...... obviously, if i caught somebody sitting in a parked car with a laptop......i might think otherwise.....but if my neighbors to the right or left could get a decent signal......have at it...
the answer is blowing in the wind....
ok, so every generation needs a really good protest song.....here is an installment from none other than the rolling stones......from salon.com
The Rolling Stones apparently prefer a less subtle approach. As Newsweek and Drudge are reporting, the World's Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band is out with a new album next month, and it includes a love song in reverse for the Bush administration. It's called "Sweet Neo Con," and it goes something like this: "You call yourself a Christian, I call you a hypocrite. You call yourself a patriot, well I think you're full of shit. How come you're so wrong, my sweet neo-con?"
The Rolling Stones apparently prefer a less subtle approach. As Newsweek and Drudge are reporting, the World's Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band is out with a new album next month, and it includes a love song in reverse for the Bush administration. It's called "Sweet Neo Con," and it goes something like this: "You call yourself a Christian, I call you a hypocrite. You call yourself a patriot, well I think you're full of shit. How come you're so wrong, my sweet neo-con?"
challah
ok, so my spouse and my younger son stayed up late sunday night making challah....no doubt inspired by a certain food article that featured multigenerational baking lore........they combined the l.o.'s family recipe with the one from james beard in the c-dub family baking bible....beard in bread.......a little more of this and a little less of that...or so i gathered from overheard conversation.......came close to trying to snap candid photographs......such a touching tableau.....considering the backstory.....the webers actually came to america as bakers......and my spouse's grandpa and his dad and uncles had a bakery in the over-the-rhine section of cincinnati......and thus my spouse grew up immersed in the art of baking......and he seemed so touched that the middle child wanted to learn to bake bread........the hosue still smells faintly with the characteristic aroma of justbakedbread........and it is marvelous ...............
Sunday, August 07, 2005
ok, so the war mother won't be gotten rid of so quickly.....bush sent aides out to persuade her to pack up, but she is prepared to stay there until he comes out......must be rough for dubya.....to have to face the mothers of those he sent to their deaths.....for a war we cannot win and for a cause that he appears to have engineered.........perhaps she will be joined by other mothers with similar stories........today in church we had a member return on leave......from a tour of duty in iraq........his mother, sisters, and nieces were sitting with him....he in his fatigues......and it was so sad to look at him and know that he will be going back there soon........and that this fine family could be just another family who lost a son or daughter for a less than justifiable cause.......
a quantum fable
ok, so last night we watched a dvd from the library.....one that i wouldn't have grabbed off the shelf......called what the bleep do we know?...i am not quite sure whether it was a comedy, drama, or documentary....because the plot with actors like marlee matlin was interspersed with interviews with scientists, researchers, quantum physiscists....and with some woman who was channeling somebody else.........hmmmmmm........i wondered at some point was it a scientology film......but the quantum physics part was fascinating....the idea that my atom base can be reprogrammed chemically by my own emotional state.......i thought immediately of folks whose cancers have disappeared due to their purely and deeply positive attitudes........and the message by the scientists made a lot of sense in that light.......the opposite was discussed....that aging is response to a series of negative reactions/emotions.........and i have seen this also....folks who age overnight due to circumstances.........therefore i am determined to BE pollyanna....and see every glass as half full rather than half empty...just to keep my molecular self in the healthy, happy, and hopefully youthful mode......i have been curious about the youthful connection......what i had blogged in this very space i have erased....because it seemed to tempt fate with what i had to say.........but i digress.......i was also intrigued by the notion that we only see what we are programmed to see....and that reality is also very personal........many questions were posed....such as....is what we see when we close our eyes real......brain waves react the same way whether we see with eyes ipen or eyes closed.........hmmmm.........i admit freely that much of the information presented was suited more to MIT folk, rather than home ec grads from OSU.......but there were some simple takeaway messages for the masses........the closing song in the life of brian comes to mind.....always look on the bright side of life.......turns out to be stellar advice...........
school shopping.......
ok, so the mm took each of her younger children shopping for school clothes on each of the last 2 days.......cayle on friday and the other yesterday........big hauls were made.......look up the term big haul in the dictionary and you will see our shopping bags.....at the places mm prefers for such occassions.....one can spend an hour and find nothing.....or walk right in and fill a shopping cart with goodies as if someone hung them up with you or your kin in mind......such was the case yesterday........when we drove away with poundage of high-end goods......i estimated an actual investment of maybe 10 cents on the original dollar......wow!......bargains and conserving the earth's resources at the same time......life is good..........
Saturday, August 06, 2005
ok, so i can sympathize with Cindy Sheehan as she holds pictures of her son near President Bush's ranch....she traveled there in a bus emblazoned with impeachment tour on the side...along with 50 or so others who are protesting the unfortunate war in the middle east.......note the sign, which has the peace symbol centered over the gold star family bit.........as if losing a child in a useless conflict can be eased with a brand like gold star family............
an alternative conversation
Ok,so a few nights ago cayle and I were watching access hollywood while we were waiting for the potatoes to boil....and there was a piece about melissa etheridge's new album, which features tom petty's song refugee.....and talk turned to her recent bout with breast cancer.....and etheridge commented that her wife had promised to stick with her in sickness and in health ....cayle's head whipped around towards me......did she say wife?........and she proceeded to pepper me with questions about girls who like girls.....and she was curious where they find enough girls who like girls since don't most girls like boys?.......and then she asked me how girl couples have babies......I opted not to go into the david crosby thing........just mentioned that they have to adopt or borrow sperm.......and then she asked if it were legal........and then if we knew anybody .........I told her yes, it is legal, and explained that it really isn't something that some women decide to do....it is the way they are born........and that yes......we know several gay folks......and no.....it wasn't my place to tell her who they are...and I opted not to mention any living relatives......and then she asked me THE QUESTION .......would I still love her if she was gay.........yes, I would........and then she laughed
and said 'but i'm not ........'
and said 'but i'm not ........'
baseball.......
ok, so i have been lax in my coverage of this year's baseball season........so let's catch up on the essentials......1) boston is 3.5 games ahead in their al division.......which means they are 3.5 games ahead of 2) nyyankees.......who are competing at this point with oakland for a wildcard slot in the playoffs.....3)baltimore was on top of this division until the wheels came off their wagon.....they have since fired their manager in hopes of climbing back up the rankings........4)speaking of the nyyankees......outfielder gary sheffield is quoted as saying that media that focuses on players like jeter and rodriguez are missing the point that he is the leader of that team.....huh?.......5) the chicago white sox have the best record in both leagues......and appear to be the team to beat when one speaks of world series picks......6) steroid use is still a big concern....especially since the latest player to be caught in the random drug testing is a fellow who has record-book stats and potential hall-of-fame credentials.......can guys like this be allowed in cooperstown?......7)manny rameriez ended up not being traded from boston to the mets through a deal with tampa bay.....and now he is sidelined after running into renteria during a play.....seeing blurry/double by all reports.....ouch!........8) boston lost to minnesota last night 12-0....pitiful........hardly the way a team makes it to the playoffs.......
more michelle malkin
ok, so a few weeks ago i was forced to admit that i agreed with the illustrious conservative columnist.......in her scathing opinions about babara walters rant on national television about breastfeeding......and today i must admit to agreeing with her yet again......i trust this is not a trend.....we have so little in common on most essential issues......the subject at hand is supreme court nominee john roberts.......and the circumstances surrounding just how much information the public needs to know about him before or after his senate confirmation.......such as........the specific details about the adoption of his children.....supposedly a nyt journalist has been calling around trying to find a lawyer who might be able to help get around the sealed court documents......sealed court documents......such socuments are sealed to protect the children involved....as well as the parents who so generously gave up rights.....they are nobody's business......at some point those children will want them unsealed...they will likely want to know how they could be blonde yet from latin america.....and at some point they could manage to make that happen......but they are the only people who have the need or the right to know.......but what if power were abused in the aquisition of said children........at this point.......delving into the matter would hurt the children much more than it would help any efforts to understand how this court nominee would vote on any particular matter.......let's just walk away from this issue, as a collective body of concerned citizens......and find more ethical avenues into the soul of nominee roberts.......
Friday, August 05, 2005
serious birdwatching.......
ok, so i settled into a long soak in the whirlpool tub with a glass of wine and the newest new yorker......and almost shrieked with delight at finding that the article that accompanied the lovely pen and watercolor drawings of birds.......was written by jonathen franzen.........i can recall a parallel experience......when i discovered that the intriguing article alzheimer's disease i was tearfully devouring was also penned by this author..that article came out not long after my dad died......and i could managed to read the article between swipes with a hank.....Franken, for the record is the guy who so upset Oprah by refusing to promote (sell) his book on her show.........I tried to pitch the corrections to bookshelf ;last year....But made the mistake of also bringing along a heartbreaking work of staggering genius....and having used the descriptive......dysfunctional family for both......they opted to read the eggars book solely because i had heard the author at joseph beth.......and someone else had mentioned how funny it was......and then the dysfunctional part scares folks........most people i know could describe large parts of their past or present as dysfunctional......and though my bookclub rejected this book presumably to avoid reading something so close to home.....many of our picks turned out to be just that.......folks who have a hard time getting along/being nice to each other/following through with commitments.......ok, so my concentration has been diverted by conversations about bikes, diabetes, and feeding the cat.......and now i must regroup to my article...about birds........i have come to enjoy the looking up of birds in a series of bird books...indigo buntings. baltimore orioles, slate junkos.....several varieties of woodpeckers..........and i can identify several.....not to the extent of franzen....who counts the birds he has seen....like someone who keeps track of every state and country visited.....i can see myself traveling to south texas to look for masked ducks.....or to arkansas to look for the supposedly extinct woodpecker.........maybe birding is what lies in wait for me as a next-act in my personal screenplay............of course, franzen threw in the circumstances of his mother's passing....and how his current girlfriend arrived too late to actually meet her.......this inclusion was made more poignant by the american express ad featuring tiger woods hugging his mother......environmental issues are the backdrop for this piece.....and the notion that franzen put off having children with his first wife because there was the question of bringing a child into this polluted world....and now that he is into his med forties......and dating a woman older still....he worries that he has missed the boat on family.......and i find myself tearfully reading yet another installment of franzen's life........like an extended blog that i am supposed to read...as opposed to one that i read like a thief in the night......and i was reminded so of anne lamont......who writes about things so personal that her family could not be aware, or are so sedated as to not notice.....i can openly imagine myself going out on such a limb....and having my closest kin go into my blog to erase all record.....note to self...change passwords.......everybody else should write from the heart, except for people who know all of your own secrets............that is the conundrum.....i have wondered myself about child #1 and his potential as a novelist......what will i do or say when i see myself....warts and all....on the printed page......having done/said/inferred something outrageous........in words that all can peruse and ponder........i suppose i will just have to pour myself a big glass of wine....and climb into the whirlpool tub........and read somebody else's child's stuff...........
classic math question........
ok, so if you are driving home from lexington..say....at about 47 mph...and can see lightening, hear thunder and see rain in the rearview mirror.......seemingly heading in the same direction as your house........how fast is the storm traveling....and can you beat the rain home and grab the cushions off the back deck before the deluge?..........the answer appeared to be 1) the storm is traveling 46.85 mph......and yes, i could grab the cushions if i threw down my purchases just inside the door and bolted for the backdoor toward the deck.......wow.......home just in time.......of course....cayle has a poolparty/sleepover scheduled to start at 5:30 pm......so this rain/thunder/lightening is most unwelcome..........
even more delicious gossip.......
ok, so this was also on salon.com this morning......and it is too funny to be true......but hope springs eternal.....
'Over at the online home of the Senate Democratic Caucus, there's a place to submit questions you'd like to ask John G. Roberts. Some of the posters at Free Republic seem to have one in mind: What does that "G" stand for, anyway?
Wonkette joked about Roberts' heterosexual bona fides a couple of weeks ago: He went to an all-boys school! He wrestled! He played Peppermint Patty in a production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown"! But with the revelation today that Roberts helped gay rights activists persuade the Supreme Court to overturn Colorado's anti-gay Amendment 2 in the 1990s, some voices on the right seem to be taking the question of Roberts' sexual orientation a little more seriously: Roberts came to the aid of gay rights activists ... he didn't get married until he was 41 ... his children are adopted ... could it be?
"This is really upsetting news," writes a Free Republic poster identified as lady lawyer. "Roberts is a guy who has been positioning himself for power all of his life. Is the late-acquired wife just part of that positioning?" L.N. Smithee chimes in: "I think lady lawyer has a significant concern." Smithee seems troubled that Roberts didn't list the Colorado case in his response to the Senate Judiciary Committee's question about pro bono work he has done. "Why was this not on his CV?" Smithee asks. "Why did he attempt to hide this?"
'Over at the online home of the Senate Democratic Caucus, there's a place to submit questions you'd like to ask John G. Roberts. Some of the posters at Free Republic seem to have one in mind: What does that "G" stand for, anyway?
Wonkette joked about Roberts' heterosexual bona fides a couple of weeks ago: He went to an all-boys school! He wrestled! He played Peppermint Patty in a production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown"! But with the revelation today that Roberts helped gay rights activists persuade the Supreme Court to overturn Colorado's anti-gay Amendment 2 in the 1990s, some voices on the right seem to be taking the question of Roberts' sexual orientation a little more seriously: Roberts came to the aid of gay rights activists ... he didn't get married until he was 41 ... his children are adopted ... could it be?
"This is really upsetting news," writes a Free Republic poster identified as lady lawyer. "Roberts is a guy who has been positioning himself for power all of his life. Is the late-acquired wife just part of that positioning?" L.N. Smithee chimes in: "I think lady lawyer has a significant concern." Smithee seems troubled that Roberts didn't list the Colorado case in his response to the Senate Judiciary Committee's question about pro bono work he has done. "Why was this not on his CV?" Smithee asks. "Why did he attempt to hide this?"
novak stomps off set.....
ok, so this was delicious news......that I DIDN'T on cnn.com
CNN suspended columnist, pundit and Valerie Plame outer Bob Novak today after he shouted "That's bullshit" and walked off the "Inside Politics" set.
Novak was reacting most immediately to James Carville, who interrupted him while he was talking about the electoral prospects of Katherine Harris. But is it just possible that he had something else on his mind? Before the segment began, CNN's Ed Henry told Novak that he would be asking him about the Plame case.
i guess the poor wretch is feeling a lot of guilt, for being at large while a fellow jounralist who refused to out the cia operative is in prison for refusing to reveal a confidential source........or maybe such right-wing foolishness just becomes burdensome after a while......
CNN suspended columnist, pundit and Valerie Plame outer Bob Novak today after he shouted "That's bullshit" and walked off the "Inside Politics" set.
Novak was reacting most immediately to James Carville, who interrupted him while he was talking about the electoral prospects of Katherine Harris. But is it just possible that he had something else on his mind? Before the segment began, CNN's Ed Henry told Novak that he would be asking him about the Plame case.
i guess the poor wretch is feeling a lot of guilt, for being at large while a fellow jounralist who refused to out the cia operative is in prison for refusing to reveal a confidential source........or maybe such right-wing foolishness just becomes burdensome after a while......
Thursday, August 04, 2005
seamus heaney
ok, so my eldest child met nobel laureate seamus heaney this week.....this is quite exciting for those who occasionally read poetry as well as for those of us who memorize lists of nobel winners.........this is a poem called song i read online
A rowan like a lipsticked girl.
Between the by-road and the main road
Alder trees at a wet and dripping distance
Stand off among the rushes.
There are the mud-flowers of dialect
And the immortelles of perfect pitch
And that moment when the bird sings very close
To the music of what happens.
mostly i think of seamus heaney when i think of the latest translation of beowolf....such an endeavor....to translate middle english.........
A rowan like a lipsticked girl.
Between the by-road and the main road
Alder trees at a wet and dripping distance
Stand off among the rushes.
There are the mud-flowers of dialect
And the immortelles of perfect pitch
And that moment when the bird sings very close
To the music of what happens.
mostly i think of seamus heaney when i think of the latest translation of beowolf....such an endeavor....to translate middle english.........
yardsale yahoos......
ok, so the annual rt 127 yeardsale is this weekend....but you would think that it was already here....what with folks already set up in their front yards......causing gridlock in ordinary tuesday anda wednesdays rather than just saturdays........all sorts of stuff for sale in the yards i pass to and from work.....though i have resisted the urge to stop.........having just divested our household of 2 carloads of stuff i cannot bring in more........and so i turn my head so as to not covet by accident some plant stand, or folding funeral chair......yeah, well...i did see those things and thought momentarily about stopping, but i brought myself to my senses and drove on...........hopefully somebody will have bought both before i drive by tomorrow.......
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
stigmata
ok, so my favorite ivory crew-neck top has developed a magenta stain....that seems to be blooming as it repeats the wash cycle....it has gone from a streak to a series of swirls....and i suspect that it will eventually settle into the face of christ....or some such identifiable male authority figure......i could sell it to the casino in vegas that collscts such things.....or donate it to the motherhouse of the sisters of lorretto that is down the road a ways near springfield.....they could erect a shrine, is uppose...or keep it to themsleves....only the initiates allowed to witness the spector........or maybe i could just break down and use the bleach....i have resisted this temptation, as bleacj seems to breakdown any fabric that contains rayon.....eats it away, actually.....what a choice....pink stain or threadbare facade........
more on 911
ok, so should we have actual need at home to dial 911.......we would have to go next door......as our daughter has discovered the telephone.......in the past week or so........who knew?.........we had grown used to our offspring being chips off the old block......short and sweet phone calls.....un-chatty cathys.......so to speak...........but this child is cut from different cloth.......she has told us that if she had a cellphone...............ha!!!!!we get no cellphone recption in our house.....she would have to go sit on the other side of the fence or by the soccer goal in the field.......not necessarily the look she is after.......no idea what she could find to talk about for so long.........on the other hand, i read an excerpt today of one of the books suggested for bookclub next year....plan b by anne lamont.....it was onm salon.com.....one of my favorite websites...and it featured a very personal discussion that the author had with her 12-year old son that she is raising alone......i have thought of this excerpt/book several times since.......about how i wonder whether this son has actually read her works.....and is aware of how exactly she has recorded their interactions.........i say this as a parent who has been berangued to the quick over the divulging of biographical information about offspring.......to the point that my eldest and middling children tell me little for fear i will blog it......they should worry so.....for when i adopt anne lamont's writing style....i will divulge more than they ever told me in words..........she does that so well.....expounds upon the very little thst her singular child discloses........the excerpt was 5 seriously covered printer pages......and maybe had 10 lines of actual dialogue from said child.........quite the spin........maybe i could try to interpret morning grunts that i take as good morning......surely i could get 1000 words out of such scanty emote.........i am disappointed that book club passed on this work....i have already ordered it online.....as well as the other club picks.....do not tell my spouse....as he is convince that our house will slide into the lake with the addition of volumes without the removal of an equal number.......is that some sort of physics law?............but if we shoudl start that slide.....we will nto eb able to call 911.....for reasons you should already understand.........
custody9-11
ok, so the clerks in our building had to call 9-11 today when a grandmother came in with 3 tiny children, court-ordered custody papers in hand, for wellchild checkups and shots.......and the daughter who had lost custody showed up and started into a ballistic rant/shovingmatch/child-grabbingscene....it came out of nowhere....and the police wer there so quickly one would have thought that they were parked across the street at the dairy queen......which is a possibility.....at one point there were 3 cruisers plus the sheriff......and this mamma was screaming so loudly/outofcontrol that some waiting clients left.....and while i would like to feel badly for someone who has lost custody......no reasonable judge will be giving her back custody anytime soon.....especially since she could have been helpful if she had played her cards differently......she could have showed up, and calmly asked her mother if she could be of assistence with specifics of the kids medical histories.......and maybe scored herself some points as a caring, selfless person.....to her credit, grandma was calm.....and attempted to direct the mother's attention to the immediate needs of these children......let's get the shots done and we will discuss this all later/privately...........but no...she had those kids screaming and crying.......she got herself marched out the backdoor with an escort off the property.....and the kids got physicals without her....omg.........i have never seen such commotion.............and surely a scarring episode for three innocents.....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
book club.......
ok, so tonight was book club.......and i went with my middle child rather than my spouse.........because he was the only one of our family to have completed the read......and because i wanted in on the selecting of next season's books......i will admit to 1) not finishing the kite runner.....2) not liking the kite runner.....3) reluctance to pick it back up and finish it.......picking a book back up....and liking it once i so do is a rarity.......i will fess up to liking the 6th harry potter book better on the second read......despite my dislike for the plotline....but in general....the putting down of a book means the discard of the book.........let's see......i put down ahab's wife.......hated that book...........and i put down war and peace, anna karenina....ulysses......classics......that lie in wait upon my bookshelves until the day that i decide to pick them back up......but i digress from bookclub......and the discussion about caste system.....and guilt.....and cowardess.......and writing the attempts to tie up all ends by the last page....and overthetop descriptives.......lively discussion.....and an even more interesting discussion on the way home in the car....all the things we didn't say when we had the chance.......and that is what i like about bookclub......the instigating of conversations that may not end the same evening.......for the record.......we will read the book lamb in february....not quite on my birthday...but close........
making do......
ok, so this morning when i reached for my half-and-half....there was none.......somebody must have fed the rest to the cat....so i reached for the milk.....and there was none.....somebody must have used up the remainder with cereal or such.......and so i looked for dry milk in the pantry....but there was none.........and in desparation.....mm cannot abide black coffee........i spooned in some coolwhip.........it was decent......a bit sweet....but since i prefer hazelnut coffee....it came out more like dessert than anything else......the whole scenario is my fault.....i came close to stopping at the grocery on my way home.......but convinced myself that it could wait one more day because 1) i was tired 2) there was a lot of traffic coming the other way and a left-hand turn is required to get to my preferred grocery.....and 3) i was being_________fill in the blank.....there must have been a third reason......3 points make for better symmetry, eh?.........oh yeh......i remember......we had plenty of stuff in the freezer for supper......and it is the need for something for supper that usually spurs a stop at the store........something for supper occurs to nobody in a family except for the mm.......not just my family.......most families......i hear tell that there are men who take over this chore......and not only work all day, but fix supper as well.......i may have met a few over the years.......but that is not how this works in most households........and in my youth i can recall my mother calling me about 4:00....just when dark shadows was coming on...with instructions on starting dinner.....i was in the 5th grade at the time......and i somehow managed to cook dinner most nights.......or at least out the potatoes on the stove and the pork chops in the oven......i cannot imagine my 7th grader doing anything of the kind......partly due to inattention....partly due to lackofinterest......and so i worry.....when i have exhausted other worries on my list....that she will live on ramen noodles, or starve to death........but she has great survivor instincts....and will surely make-do somehow........
Monday, August 01, 2005
i wish i had said that.....
ok, so i came across this quote today.....old but timely....
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." -- Mark Twain.
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." -- Mark Twain.
ok, so my mind works like this........i read a few articles from salon.com ...which referenced an article in the new yorker about katie couric........then moved on to the new yorker...trying to read the katie couric article before i recieve my copy inthe mail....usually on wednesday.......no so luck......but i notice that there is an article about winslow homer......i discovered that he got his start illustrating harpers magazine's coverage of the civil war.....before he moved on to paiiting sea scenes and the like....and then i pondered my own favorite winslow homer print.....of two boys in a field.....and realized that i did not know the name of that print (it hangs in my own living room......)and so i googled homer prints....only to discover that it is called 2 boys in a pasture.....i just love this print......though it has nothing to do with katie couric....
mm's encounter with the ultimate nicotine addict.......
ok, so kentucky may be one of the leading tobacco producing states....but the public health folks require that every client served be screened for tobacco use, or for second hand smoke exposure.....and so today, during the wic signup process.....i asked a 17 year old new mom and her mother about smoking.........and the baby's grandmother went ballistic........gentle readers......visualization is essential here.......think ursula, the purple sea witch in the little mermaid........only with poorly dyed blonde hair with dark roots......imagine her up in my face demanding to know if it was against the law for her to not smoke in her own home......and demanding to know who was going to come and rip those cigarettes out of her hand whenever she lights up around that baby......and were we going to try to take that baby away because she smoked....because if we thought we could we had another thing coming......this woman went off........of course.....she dkept repeating the expected lines.....i smoked when my children were little and nothing happened to them.......it is never worth the words to counter every argument.....i simply asked her if she was aware of the risk if s.i.d.s./colic/ear infections/asthma/adhd in households with secondhand smoke....and made sure she knew that i was not singling her out....that we are obligated to make sure that all of our clients know that their personal habits have detrimental effects upon others........and when she asked how other smokers took this sort of news......i replied that most have already started smoking outside of the house, to make sure that their precious grandchildren are protected from these possibible problems.......she wasn't buying any of it......or at least pretended to act like this was all news to her......the news about adhd is quite recent........and hits home.......our youngest child's birth mother smokes like a smokestack.......which could explain why our youngest has learning difficulties......makes sense to me....less oxygen to the brain = less brain development.....but the grandmother i spoke to seemed unaware of the less oxygen part....or the carbon monoxide part.......or the chemicals in smoke part........next we will find that cigarette smokers tend to have anger management problems because of the multi-exposure to damaging substances.......i can give them the name of the perfect poster person...............
am i dreamin....?
ok, so this was on cnn.com this morning.....Atkins Nutritionals Inc., the company that promoted low-carb eating into a national diet craze, filed for bankruptcy court protection Sunday, a company spokesman said. there was a time when i would have rejoiced at this...but in this day-and-age......the faulty theories about this diet will continue on in numerous strands...with or without the company that made all the lowcarb snack bars and such.......hardly a dreamcometrue for my profession......speaking of dreams.......last night's installment featured 2 green chairs, similar to what we donated to the church's quasi-habitat project.......like they were valuable antiques......ha!......as well as a semi-naked picture of a ronald reagan illegitimate daughter and her semi-naked children...got it?........though the headline of the story was about how nancy reagan was taking this news.......how does this stuff come out of my brain......at this late date, why would i care if ronnie reagan strayed from his numerous spouses.......there is something fundementally wrong about putting semi-naked children on magazine covers....something on which i do agree with the right-wingers......there was also a rearranging of furniture in this dream........in a room that was mostly glass panels.........another curiosity in that i would never choose to live in such a place.......i may admire the stripped down post-mdern styles....but i could never get comfortable being on display......unless there were full-length and insulated drapes....and this takes away from the stripped down look, don't it.......and lastly, i recall attempting to order notecards with c-dub in the corner rather than an initial...this term refers to a playful nickname for our eldest child...by his girlfriend...clever eh?...but those who sell monogramed paper goods don't think so.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
