ok, so the smoked salmon did not sit too well last night, because i had the most horrific dream........i dreamed that central baptist er called us at 2:45 am to ask if we were, in fact, the parents of acw, who was currently unconcious, with a blood alcohol of .407, intubated because he could no longer breathe on his own.........brought in by his friends brian and jeremiah from a party in the neighborhood..........the nurse said......if this were my boy i would get in the car and come up here right away..........right............so in my dream our sweet baby boy is totally out, with tubes out of his nose, his arm and his private parts,,,,,,,the nurse informs us that if he had not gotten to the er he could have died, as he was retaining co2 because the alcohol had stunted his lung capacity drastically......thankfully he had no illicit narctoics in his blood stream, which would have complicated matters exponentially.........i dreamed that when he 'came to' he was belligerant to the nth power, swearing like an mtv awards presentor, and swore that he had not only not been drinking but that he had, in fact, gone to bed at 10:00, and that someone must have set him up, and that we, his parents, must be in on this travesty, and that this whole thing was our fault, surely............yeh, right.........the dream gets worse....when acw is actually released, he runs out of the er door toward uk.....in his father's shirt and no coat, as he has no idea where his clothing is.....and his father runs after him........in the dream, i try to follow in ecw's new car, but i cannot find reverse on the column, and fall into tears with the fear that i will be trapped in the parking garage of central baptist indefinitely because i cannot back out of my space.......i finally locate ecw, who has lost acw in a field......still with a blood alcohol of over .2...legally and essentially still drunk........and after a scuffle of some magnitude..........ecw flags down a policeman, who says that if he is caught legally drunk on campus he will be thrown out due to zero tlerance rule......we hope that he makes it to his dorm before he is seen running across campus at 7:30 am......we drive to his dorm....and find his footprints leading to the door.....even in dreams people who sell shoes can tell the difference between running shoe makers when it comes to prints........we call from the lobby....yes he is in his room, and when he tells us to fuck off......we go home..........because in dreams you just fade away...........fade to grey...fade to memory...and memory softens, even after a few hours....it must be why women cannot remember accurately about birthing pain just weeks after delivery........i delivered that child without anesthesia.....i appear to be making up for lost time now...........oh yeh....he cannot find his coat....i think that this his the 4th or 5th he has lost in his lifetime.....he will have to find the next coat on his own....the montessori rule of natural consequences alludes to such realities.........such a dream.........with dreams like this, who has need of reality?