on reading one's own blog.....

ok, so i regularly read my own blog.....sometimes in the morning because my brain is too foggy to remember what and/or if i posted the evening before......but mostly random archival entries....that dwell on episodes that i can barely recall......which is the point to this madness......to chronicle what i will barely recall in the all-too-soon future.......my brother-in-law in upstate new york has disclosed to me the alzheimer's testing that he has begun.....benchmarking is how he described it to me.....but i know better....anybody who has experienced the intellectual decline of a loved one fears that the same will happen closer to home......and this fear is tangible.......which is why i try so hard NOT to read my blog in the morning.....for fear that i will have no recollection whatsoever......and what does one do with that fear......when my grandmother was senile she hid grapefruits......under the covers on her side of the bed....from my blind grandfather.......lord knows why.......since we rarely buy grapefruits i doubt that the grapefruit test for senility can be applied to me.......no......my version will appear in purely personal ways.......like in the blogs that i cannot remember posting....which i won't offer up as dinner conversation...in hopes that nobody else will know that i am going downhill........sounds like a plan to me.................

addendum.....my entire blog.....all the entries since april 2002...fit onto the memory of my new palm tx......not on the expansion card.....on the memory....wow.......