bon anniversaire....

ok, so it is almost my 5th anniversary as a blogger....that momentous occasion is actually tomorrow....at which time i will likely be scurrying to get to work on time......and just as likely fail to give the topic its full due in my haste to get out the door.....as permanent records go.....this venue has been valuable to me as i struggle with aging....with change in general.....i type in what is on my mind and this contraption called a computer remembers it for me.....and keeps it where i can find it....and lets me look it back up later....from anywhere on the globe it would seem....curiously, my (permanent record) blogs occasionally differ from how i have chosen to remember the past...... do i simply write down the truth, and then remember it the way i wish it had happened?.....this hasn't happened often, but when i have discovered these little discrepancies it gives me pause......i must say that i am pleased with my own will to continue in spite of a decided family fear that i will disclose personal details about said family to a dangerous world...to some extent i understand their concerns.....my own mother once sent out christmas letters to over 100 of their closest friends that included dubious misinformation about my miscarriage.....and this count doesn't include who she might have told personally about this tragic event......ironically, as the mother of potential novelists i care not about how i might be portrayed in their literary works......because i see this as something i cannot hope to control and would not want to direct from the backseat for fear of putting a damper on their creativity......for me to say "write about your childhood as much as you like but don't you dare mention me" sounds mighty...childish don't ya think?......for me to completely pretend that i have no offspring sounds just as foolish an expectation.......but i have digressed from my 5th anniversary as a blogger......may i find something interesting to put into this permanent record for as long as i can remember the blogger password.......