the fabric of my family has started to fray.....

ok, so.......i admit that there are too many f's in this piece....just as there are too many of the other major consonants.......d...for doubt.........my spouse came home from work this evening...grabbed a beer from the downstairs refrigerator......this never happens, by the way........and asked once again....if i might have hallucinated the opossum in the the catfood....we went so far as to look up possum pictures on line (a strong p sound.....repeated.) yep....it was a possum, and not a rat, raccoon, it certainly was not oscar the wire-haired fox terrier....though he has begun to resemble the opossum since this morning......i do take umbrage at the suggestion that i imagined an opossum....babyorotherwise.....meanwhile i am skittish (bold s-sound...) about scooping catfood out of the 25 pound bag the rests directly behind the 25 pound bag of dogfood in the pantry...beside the trash can......it was the scoop in the trashcan that caught my attention.....(scoop....hard ess.......)...i had gotten up, as always....about 6:35 am........the alarm rings at 6:30....and i listen to enough npr to catch up on the essentials....and then i drag myself into the bathroom, to the kitchen to make coffee....to the mailbox for the lexington herald leader......back to the kitchen to feed the dog and the cat.....all the while the dog has gone out and the cat has come in....and begun her special feed-me routine.....the cat seemed uneffected when i shrieked at the sight of a(an) (o)possum's head cresting over the edge of the cat's food........my spouse was still out on his regular tuesday/thursday/saturday run in town with his cronies.......and i had to decide....whether til nobler to get the conundrum possum out of the house quickly...or guard the pantry until my spouse came home........(hard h.......)rather than fumble about for a camera.....i flung aside the bag of dog food....and grabbed up the catfood bag margins as closed as i could grab them.....and raced out onto the porch.......where i flung it on the grey-painted concrete......and possum trotted up the grass and into the ocver of the mist.......all the while the partial dog......yellow aka butter, a beast of a yellow lab that we share with the neighbors......headed down the hill....directly toward the cat';s food.......And at the point that the caloric intervention was made.....i was pulling the catfood bag off of the obese canine........omg.......all this before i had coffee.............catfood/canine/coffee....yep....too many hard c's...but then this was only the beginning.............and then my spouse came home.....and the disbelief began.............yet i have had the entire work day to contemplate the puzzle...of how (hard h...) the opossum got into the catfood........it translates better as a mutiple choice problem....for the new SAT, perhaps.......a) a lugubrious prankster snuck ino the snug bungalow under cover of darkness....and placed the possum in the most ironic of locales.......hee-hee.........b) the opossum crept into the house and into the kitchen pantry through a complicated maze of rube goldberg-esquely unlikely coincidences......while my spouse darted from the front door to the van and back to get his insulated mug to poor thje coffee that hadn't been made yet.......ooopps.....that bird won't fly.....well, maybe he darted into the garage to get something as yet unnamed....and the front door was open....and the pantry door was open....and the old dog was asleep.......c) there is a major breech in our home....like the dryer vent cover coming loose.....or a rock in the foundation has bulged out too much....and the opossum slipped in the made it's way toward the kitchen and the aroma of pelleted feed.............