frozen fish.......

ok, so i peeked into the freezer......looking for something/anything to fix for supper......and they were still there......the bag of frozen tilapia that my mother bought when the prison down the road had its annual shrimp and fish sale........when she told me she had bought both shrimp and tilapia....she didn't mention that the shrimp came whole and unwashed....direct from the ponds......and the fish came just as God made them......only dead....i was so unsure whether the shrimps were dead that i rinsed them well int he sink and plunged them into boiling water....think lobster scene from annie hall........ and then pulled off the tenticles and heads after they had cooled.......it was grosser at the time that it sounds now....if that is possible......but the fish.....i could not begin to dress them as is necessary for consumption......and so i stashed the bag in the freezer......in hopes that a fishmonger will show up to do the deed?........and that begs the question............how can i be a consumer of piscean flesh if i am unwilling to do the gutting/scaling/boning necessary prior to slapping the fillets on the grill?.......and that is a dialogue dealing only with fish......what about pork/beef/chicken.........i have witnessed the butchering of all of the above foodstuffs......such is the lot of a child of the rural midwest.......i have vivid memories of my dad taking my brother and i fishing in grandpa crown's pond....for sunfish and bluegills.....and my dad dressed the few fishes we managed to catch...in my grandma's side yard in the vicinity of the cats feeding area..an old pie plate....(the dogs ate in the front yard on a flat stone)......and there was no drama about the procedure......just a lot of quick moves with a sharp knife.......i suppose if my family were starving i could manage to do what it takes.......but with numerous other supper options on ice........i could go several days before having to deal with those forzen fish....and by that time i would have had the chance to shop again.......so......should i really call myself a shrimptarian.....in that i have been able to stomach the transition from pond to plate?.....plenty of food for thought............