birthmothers.....

ok, so friends of ours, who adopted a child just after birth when they thought they couldn't have one of their own.......havejust discovered that their 21+ aged child has been in contact with her birthmother and wants her (adoptive) mother to drive her south to meet with her birth mother.......and she is conflicted....having not foreseen this reality...those of us who live day-to-day with the spector of the birth mother may have it easier than the adoptive parents who find out about birthparent contact on the sly.......and what could i say to her....that she has no option but to drive her south and accept that this child will want to live with the birth mother for the foreseeable future.......just because that is the fantasy....that somehow the (evil) adoptive parents have kept the (wholesome) birthmother from her child all of these years........and until the child finds out the truth on her own...the birth parents have to wait it out.......omg....i had to fight back tears as she told me of this upcoming event.......adoption is not for the faint of heart...............