ok, so i am only going to say this once........there is no food in my house to nibble on, save the chicken rice and spinach i brought home for supper..........this is a shame.......the caterer can't remember to go to the store and buy normal food.......i would give my right arm for a bit of french bread and some gruyere....which i have at the restaurant but failed to bring home........

ok, so today i got my hair cut.......it was time...one of those days when you couldn't stand to go another hour with the stringy, hanging hair in the way.....the hair artist, or whatever they call themselves now, felt compelled to discuss my lack of grey hair and the thickness of my hair, and the mistake the last hair artist made in trying to put layers in my hair........same salon, different artist.......i am always at a loss with what to say to these people, who feel a need to chat at a time when all i want to do is close my eyes and get it over with.........i am not a salon/spa kind of person......the experience is wasted on me......at this very moment my hair is nearly layer free.....blunt cut at chin length......i think i had this same cut briefly in grad school......some days i wish i was 22 again......but today is not one of them.......

ok, so mm's purpose statement has been revealed by the new blogger template.......it lay hidden in the settings page until now....but it has always been there......mm's description of her blog.........for those who may call this statement mean, bear in mind that meanness is as meanness does.......

ok, so mm will be attending governor's cup with the usual suspects.....i have arranged to share a room with cindy corcoran...we have actually done this before.....when scw was in 6th grade and chris was in 7/8th grade..it is so hard to tell when you skip a grade........anyway, cindy and i had a very good time....in other years i have had an equally good time with the crowley's..............

ok, so i have had a flashback of my favorite iberian painting...and it is the small panel portraying fighting cats...by goya,,,,in the last goya room in the prado...........i still think about those cats........

ok, so the mean mamma has got it on her brain that not only will she travel to rome next winter break, she will try to get in on one of those papal appearance things......like 1 million people in st. peter's square.....maybe not.....maybe just a nice quiet visit to florence........with a few madonna and child paintings.....too bad i have not chronicalled all of the badly painted baby jesus' seen on multiple excursions.......or misplaced madonna breasts.........gourmet has a new issue out with places to see in rome...an older issue featured florentine tratatorias.......of course, my italian is worse than my spanish......and i will not rent a car...........

ok, so the salmon en croute that i fixed last night really needed a sauce.............

ok, so mean mamma has gotten bold in her declining years...........the result of random blog-reading convinced me that there was a better template out there for me...think mondrian...........think retro..........i even figured out how to customize the info in the lower left hand column.......no applause......

ok, so i visited dave barry's blog today...at davebarry.blogspot.com....he has blogged today no less than 6 times.......whooooo....he has even less of a life than i have.........

ok, so book club is over, and the 13 people who came have gone back home........i really look forward to this evening, and really look forward to the end of the this evening.......i have blogged too much this week, and feel that i blog too much in general...i have seen really cool blogs....and i am not in their league.....i may cut back on this insantity until i have something to say.......

ok, so trc was visited today by the abc...who could fax us a liscense by friday..........we will tentatively order alcohol tomorrow........and it will be delivered when we fax the licsence to the distributer........

ok, so i am finished with hot and sour soup, sesame chicken and spring rolls, and a bite of a frozen ice cream pie.....scw has presented norah jones album...she is so smooth.......another birthday gone, and no word from my only sibling, and no word from my oldest child......he called ecw to tell him he would not be here, but he didn't call me.......

ok, so listening to simon and garfunkel singing together again has put them and their music back into my mind.....and great song's like kathy's song are now playing like a soundtrack in my brain........the lyrics are as follows:

kathy's song.....simon and garfunkel

I hear the drizzle on the way
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and confused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you in your sleep
And kiss you when you start your day

And this song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I


not many people have written song's to anybody named kathy.........

ok, so it is my birthday, and though the 'kcw does not have to report to work' did not scroll the screen this morning......it will be a good day.......i am hoping to receive the norah jones album....she is so non-britney, so non-avril, so non-gwen stefani, so non-madonna and so pleasant to listen to.......

ok, so one last blog for today and i am done......a certain sagittaius i know has the following horoscope.......i actually read it alloud at diner, because his behavior required that i do so.......in encounters with others today, you are convinced you are right. because of this you might be a tad pushy. remember that you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar......enough said.......

ok, so tomorrow (2/25) is mm's birthday....so let me read my horoscope as predicted by king features.........Pisces..........authority figures, bosses, or parents might be overbearing today. smeone could make a naked power play. you don't have to follow thi sperson if you don't want to..... You are Born today........you are a strong individual. You say what you mean and mean what you say. But you are also devoted, generous, and loyal. You will give your all for a cause that is near to your heart. This year, enormous changes can take place, perhaps as important as changes that took place in 1994.........Birthdate of :scott (carrot top) thompson, tea leoni, and sally jesse raphael.......oh my,,,,carrot top is a new one....and this list left off george harrison and sean astin.........carrot top......this is too much information.........and for the record, 1994 does not ring a bell for big years of change for mm..................1984...when acw was born....yes.....1994.....no.........

ok, so the mm has had yet another nightmare-ish day.........when lunch slowed down, i reached for my purse, in the spot where i always put it.......to start putting together a bank deposit.....not there.....i went out to my car, thinking i may have left it behind the seat ......not there.....had i locked my car? the cellphpne and the laptop were still there...didn't seem like anyone would have taken the purse but left the laptop/cell phone.....and i always check the door to make sure it is locked.......called my mom to walk down to the house to see if it is still on the counter.......that is happened before.....not there.....i get in the car and drive home myself to look for the purse.....not to be found.......has someone taken it from the kitchen? there was no cash..........i gave the last of it to scw to take to regionals on saturday and had not yet made it to the money machine...... so i started the task of calling the bank to stop debit card/checks.......called to stop bellsouth calling card......called for replacement insurance card....filed police report.............and when i got home there was a message from ecw.......cayle had my purse when she walked in the door at the store from school......she had hooked both her backpack and my purse when she got out of the car this morning........and her teacher had dutifully 'put it up' until cayle came home from school......rather than call me and tell me she was 'putting it up'............at least i have the purse, and everything is inside, and i don't have to stop a new pack of checks......i guess, as recent 'horrific dreams' have shown us, this incdent pales in comparison to the things that can hapen in this world to us and to our children.......i consider myself, right at this moment...one of the luckiest people in the world.......

ok, so mm was blown away by several musical guests at the grammy's.....starting with simon and garfunkel:


Simon and Garfunkel The Sounds of Silence

Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain,
Still remains, within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone, Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night, and touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw, Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening,
People writing songs, that voices never share.
And no one dared, Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know, Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you, Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed, In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed, To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning, In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls." and whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

ecw and i just sat and sang along, like it was a favorite hymn.......i always think of this song in paris...because in paris the words of the prophets ARE written on the subway walls......i also enjoyed james taylor playing sweet baby james accompanied by yoyo ma on cello....so pure and lilting a meelody...finally i enjoyed norah jones; performance.......there is something to be said for singer/songwriter/musicians in this world where many have only the talent of jumping up and down...(yes, i saw avril..........)

ok, so the smoked salmon did not sit too well last night, because i had the most horrific dream........i dreamed that central baptist er called us at 2:45 am to ask if we were, in fact, the parents of acw, who was currently unconcious, with a blood alcohol of .407, intubated because he could no longer breathe on his own.........brought in by his friends brian and jeremiah from a party in the neighborhood..........the nurse said......if this were my boy i would get in the car and come up here right away..........right............so in my dream our sweet baby boy is totally out, with tubes out of his nose, his arm and his private parts,,,,,,,the nurse informs us that if he had not gotten to the er he could have died, as he was retaining co2 because the alcohol had stunted his lung capacity drastically......thankfully he had no illicit narctoics in his blood stream, which would have complicated matters exponentially.........i dreamed that when he 'came to' he was belligerant to the nth power, swearing like an mtv awards presentor, and swore that he had not only not been drinking but that he had, in fact, gone to bed at 10:00, and that someone must have set him up, and that we, his parents, must be in on this travesty, and that this whole thing was our fault, surely............yeh, right.........the dream gets worse....when acw is actually released, he runs out of the er door toward uk.....in his father's shirt and no coat, as he has no idea where his clothing is.....and his father runs after him........in the dream, i try to follow in ecw's new car, but i cannot find reverse on the column, and fall into tears with the fear that i will be trapped in the parking garage of central baptist indefinitely because i cannot back out of my space.......i finally locate ecw, who has lost acw in a field......still with a blood alcohol of over .2...legally and essentially still drunk........and after a scuffle of some magnitude..........ecw flags down a policeman, who says that if he is caught legally drunk on campus he will be thrown out due to zero tlerance rule......we hope that he makes it to his dorm before he is seen running across campus at 7:30 am......we drive to his dorm....and find his footprints leading to the door.....even in dreams people who sell shoes can tell the difference between running shoe makers when it comes to prints........we call from the lobby....yes he is in his room, and when he tells us to fuck off......we go home..........because in dreams you just fade away...........fade to grey...fade to memory...and memory softens, even after a few hours....it must be why women cannot remember accurately about birthing pain just weeks after delivery........i delivered that child without anesthesia.....i appear to be making up for lost time now...........oh yeh....he cannot find his coat....i think that this his the 4th or 5th he has lost in his lifetime.....he will have to find the next coat on his own....the montessori rule of natural consequences alludes to such realities.........such a dream.........with dreams like this, who has need of reality?

ok, so i have been in smoked salmon heaven this week...i was forced to buy smoked salmon to make mousse for a client, and there was so much left over that could not be left to go to waste.......i like smoked salmon alone, on bread with capers, with sour cream......i adore smoked salmon......alas, the mousse did not go over as well......much left over, and left at the client's house........catering parties is the hardest thing i do.....especialy when the party is hosted by friends..it is awkward presenting the bill, and awkward being both the caterer and an invited guest......ecw didn'd even attempt it......he stayed home tonight despite being invited as well....i was at this home from 5:30-11:30...in heels, no less.....but it did go well, and the food looked great...and that is all that matters....i did spend much fi the evening nervous because i did not hear from scw and the results from academic competition until 9:30 pm....he will be going to the state for the 5th year in a row in social studies, general knowledge and quick recall.......i am so proud, though he could not have gotten the talent from me.....back to thsi party....i spent some time talking to betsy wilt, who just returned from provence with a group of 8....only to have it snow in provence......the theme of the trip of antiques, but the markets closed due to the weather..and the euro was so much stronger than the dollar...she did not have a very good time.......and at this party every second person had a thing or two to say about my potential wine list....everybody has different tastes...... about beer, and about whiskey......and about wine......

so glad the l.o. is back.......the c-w's are donatng a book to the danville/boyle county public library in her name.....the library has no up-to-date book about barcelona........and dk/eyewitness has a specialized book coming out in march.......i know that sister sheila enjoyed barcelona.......i still have the email she transferred through your mom about what we should see there.....i wish i had known her.....mm has so few readers she must treasure each one.............

ok, so the mm has erased this entry once, but she will not be censored... the guster tracts that she has downloaded remind her of the monkeees............which is not a bad thing, as she actually bought their album in 1969............

ok, so in a fit of pre-birthday mania i bought myself a copy of the importance of being earnest, the play by oscar wilde......i saw this originally in college with a boy named maynard who told me that he could never be serious about me as long as i was so stuck on myself..........oh my, if he could but see the mm now.........anyway, i have spent the past 23 years with someone named ernst, who is often referred to as ernest...my own grandparents asked, at his meeting if he was not, in fact an ernest....a family name, as ernst is his family name, but a different family..the ernst's are from mainz, which i did not visiit due to the unfortunate business with the diesal fuel...........the movie with colin firth, judy dench, frances occonner, and reese witherspoon is delightful for anyone interested in such melodramas.......i will remember it for sheer entertainment....and for the tatoos...........

ok, so i was saddened to hear of the club fire in rhode island, where pyrotechnics caused almost immediate combustion to insulation/sound enhancing material above the stage.......turns out the fireworks display needed clearance from the city fire marshall, but none was sought...also unclear whether the club manager knew that fireworks were in store for the older wooden structure......the group's guitarist is among the missing and presumed dead......i am not familiar with great white, the group, no group wants to be known for this......

ok, so i had the opportunity to talk to ms.nancy alcock on the phone today...80+ year old nancy, who had the guts to go the laramie project yesterday, past the silly protestors, and to get up at the open mike portion and say her peace........scw wrote it all down for the rest of us to read......she certainly said it all when she says that god loves us all............i am embarassed that scw had to explain what the signs meant.....these were terms i had not heard......ironically, the sons and daughters of these protesters have as an equal chance of being gay when compared to nonprotesters.......they simply won't be understanding when their own day of reckoning comes......

i am so sorry to hear of the passing of sister sheila....she certainly fought the long fight....i still have the emails she forwarded with sugestions for barcelona...she struck me as someone i would have liked to have known.....

ok, so today my partner and i tasted wine and attempted to assemble our rough draft wine list.....some that were tasted were rejected...a chardonney by powers in washington state was much too flinty for my taste.....we enjoyed every bottle by coppolla's vineyard, and several from australia so now we have to decide which we will offer by the glass and which by the bottle, and which will be offered by both ...glen ellen appears to be our house wine line......we have sent in our application for a liscense....so we are now in the waiting mode.....

ok, so if you read this blog too late, you missed the original content.........any analogies made between guster and bands of my youth are therefore heresay........

ok, so it is true....blogger's parent company pyra labs has been bought out by google.......don't know how this will affect my blog....stay tuned.....

my routine has been altered by the ice storm that hit lexington.....even though i don't live in lexington...i listen to wuky for 20 minutes before i get outof bed, and on my way to and from work in the car........wuky has been off the air since sunday morning....and i have been forced to tune in wwku in the car, and weku on my bedside radio...this morning the list of school closings was much different that i am used to, as richmond is further east and covers much of eastern ky.......the good news...both danville and boyle have school today....no word when wuky will get back on the air.....even though these are public radio stations, they each do things differently, have differetn voices than i am used to waking up to, and offer slightly different programming.....change is hard.....

ok, so we are catching up on the aftermath of a parental visit....cayle's birth mother has bought all sorts of stuff, useful and craplike, which we must deal with...for starters are the treasures...rings and necklaces and the like that the birth mother beleives that cayle will treasure all of her days......cayle will lose these things within a week.......the smileyface ring, the amethyst ring.......all will be lost in a blur of confusion......and when the birth mother comes back next year, she will be hurt that cayle cannot recall any of the details of the last round of gifts.......all of this brings me to the issue of michael jackson ,and any other who has childrne not his biological own.......trying to keep children from their biological parents is foolishness...no matter what debbie rowe says on tape, she will welcome these children when they are 18 and can legally leave michael' s strange existance.......cayle will certainly head for florida when she turns 18,,,,,,and be disappointed that her birth mother is not prepared to deal with her...........

ok, so i received an email today that a niece of ecw had a baby yesterday weighing over 10 pounds .......whup is the only response......we did not know they were expecting...despite multiple funerals last year when every one gathered and caught up on news........we are excited for any couple going for a third child...we think it is the child that will certanily drive you mad..the first is practice, the second is a piece of cake and the third is sheer craziness........the good news is that the baby was big, which means that she ate well......a business aquaintance recently divulged that he had had a vacectomy, at the age of 47+....he wanted praise, but i was aghast that he had waited all of this time.......his children are both over 17..for god's sakes.......what took him so long......my in-laws were catholic and it was the potential for new babies that drove them to separate beds long before desire faded...i hope that my children are responsible with birth control, and do not rely on prayers to limit family size..........

ok, so the mm will NOT, i repeat NOT be watching any more footage on michael jackson...further, i will no longer discuss him at work with my cohorts, nor utter his name in polite society...hence force he is persona non grata (i ask the latin scholars to check for spelling on this one....) the term michael jackson special is a contradiction in terms.....

so this morning i took a chance and drove my carfull of cardboard to the recycling place, only to find it open.......who knew.......i would have brought more from the garage if i had but known.....saving the world is really ruining the back end of my car......by the way.....but i do not lose sleep over this......exactly what was closed on this president's day? my bank was open (national city) but i got no mail....or rather scw got no mail.....he is now getting stuff from mit, brown, duke, etc ands reads none of it.....i enjoyed the part in the simpsons last night (can't remember if 300 or 301) when lisa is offered a full ride to the seven sisters if she throws the spelling bee) i know a few women who attended places like smith and bryn mayr.....both live alternative lifestyles........so i was amused to see the 7 sisters on mt olympus and how they were portrayed.....i really did enjoy watching the simpsons.......moreso now that my boys are beyond the age of bart simpson..(badboybart)...and moreso now that i am aging along with marge and homer......my life seems so serene to be exactly their age without their problems.......you do the math, marge is now 47 with a baby in diapers.......

ok, so mm is in a recycling dilemna....my car is full of cardboard, my garage is full of cardboard so i cannot empty it from the car into the garage, and the recycling center is closed for president's day......i cannot leave it in the van, as we have 2 deliveries today. and if i leave it outside the recycling center, the cardboard will become soaking wet and useless to be recycled.......

acw called yesterday.....he doesn't call often or come home regularly this semester....things have settled in for him and he has figured out how to do his laundry int he dorm.....he doesn't have class today because of the ice storm...and he was surprised that the storm missed danville......we miss him very much.......he has confirmed that he is enamored, and hopes to bring the young lady to lunch at trc cafe one day soon......i cannot wait......

onto other news, our youngest child somehow got herself into internet sites where she did not belong, and somehow got one naughty site set up as our home page........we were horrified..........she went from a google search from animals giving birth to sites that defy description.........oh my.......we had to discuss strict guidelines on what we expect in terms of internet viewing, as well as warn her that internet travel is not privtae and that we will find out about it, and if she were to go to these sites at school or the library she would permanantly lose her internet priviledges.....as it si, she is on her last chance with us regarding these sites......

i am so sorry to hear about sister sheila....i hope that she is resting comfortably and in no pain.......she is in my prayers......and the family who wait at her bedside remain in my thoughts.....

ok, so this was a restful day.......we watched the horse in the grey flannel suit, a disney movie that cayle got for her birthday, then my big fat greek wedding, which ecw had purchased for my birthday but decided to present early since we were in the movie watching mode....then i took a nap......ah, life is good......then lounged around more until the simpsons 300 and 301 episodes aired......the nice thing about bad weather, it forces rest and relaxation..........

ok, so i did stay up to watch beck on snl, and no he did not sing devil's haircut...he did sing a song that sounded very much like and old leo kotke piece, in a voice that sounded much like leo kotke.......my neighbors sophomore year were very into leo kotke, and though i did not hsell out the bucks to go see him in concert at the time. i do enjoy listening to his brand of acoustic guitar and gravelly lyric.......i also want to go on record as saying that i liked beck's pink and green striped shirt so much that i may look for them to give as gifts to my beck-fan sons....surely they would wear a shirt just like beck...........

i had a complete lapse of judgement this morning...i got up, got dressed, and drove to church, only to find that the parking lot was empty...it never occured to me that church would cancel due to the rain/ice storm........so i came right back home, changed out of my new outfit, and set up on the couch for a day of reading under an aphgan (sp?) well, it is not really new..just new to me.......i wore one of the pairs of pants i bought for $2.50 at the goodwill on harrodsburg rd 2 weeks ago...they are from talbots...cream with black ticking...they fit very nicely and for $2.50 i am absolutely thrilled....at goodwill stores, they often take 'namebrand' items and mark the price up, and plce them on a separate rack called 'specials'...this rack always has stuff from the gap, tommy hilfiger, and kathy lee (whup)....but inevitably, brands that i like, from ann taylor or talbots are NOT on the specials rack despite the fact that the original price tag far exceeded that of the specials stuff....means that somebody has no clue as to actual value of the goods in question.......ah well.........

ok, so beck is on snl tonight, along with jennifer garner from alias.....i would stay up to watch beck, but i am quite sure he will not play devil's haircut........my favorite driving in europe song..so i will just go to bed.......i have tomorrow off, as fate would have it........after church the birth mother goes home. and we will pick up the pieces that always follow a visit...and eventually things will become normal again...........my mother is buying a new computer....we are trying to steer her toward one with dvdrw/cdrw so that we can make the most use of it.....very selfish motives, but times is tough........she will send her 'old' computer down the street, and we can retire the one that cayle uses...after the domino swtiching of every other computer in this household (now numbering 4...if you count the laptop) of course, none of our computers is less than 3 years old....ancient by media standards........and none has any speed to speak of......2/4 can get an internet connection......speaking of internet.....i enjoyed lucas's site......quite profesional in it's design, crisp appeal.....readability...i liked his schedule in the corner.......i could publish my schedule, but it would say...monday work, tuesday work,,,,,,,etc........now that cayle's birthday is past, we are on track for my birthday, and the annual book club fete......

but this talk of war is getting in the way..........i was heartened to read of the 600+ antiwar protests that took place today.......npr broadcast sylvia porjoli from rome, who said that their were 2,000,000+ in the streets, both young and old, and decidedly not the red-flag waving crowd that usually comes to such gatherings......gwb may have bitten off more than we can chew with this fiasco.......

ok, so this war thing is getting out of hand.....gwb does not seem to get that the rest fo the world will not support our self-serving little middle-east 'conflict'..........there is no smoking gun...just a dictator who uses religion to control his people......gwb would do the same thing if he could get away with it.....

ok, so this mercedes murdering wife is on my mind.......i do not know what i would do if i caught my spouse with another woman....i do not know if i would back my car over him 3-4 times...........she got 20 years........i do not think that i could go 20 years without being in paris.......

ok, so my husband was asked by a centre professor, who was recently interviewed by psychology today and redbook regarding the economics of love about how his marriage has lasted so long.....he replied, that we have separate bank accounts, and we give each other plenty of space........we didn't make the redbook cut.....however, our friends who fight by the wife doing all the talking wihile the husband sits and says nothing made the redbook article.....ha.......ecw and i have nothing to say about fighting because we do not fight.....i cannot remember the last time he spoke to me in a raised tone......or i to him..........when we talked of this tonight...he laughed and said that rather than fight i simply ignore him until he gives up.........which seems right...as my parents never fought and i have few resources on which to draw...better to ignore the debate as whatever is the matter will keep til another day.......on the other hand, his parents fought frequently...one visit to danville they screamed to high heaven about whose fault it was that my father in law arrived with no underwear.......i was in shock...as my parents would havw just driven to walmart and bought underwear rather than fight about it. and they would never have let on that there was an underwear issue.......

ok, so valentine's day at trc was a little tense, as one of the wait staff came home last night early to find her husband in bed with another woman...she has her children with her at the time...that is rough.........he could never manage to pick her up on time..now we know why......i need to do something for my mother on sunday...feb 16 would have been my parents 51st anniversary.....my mother received notice that she will receive an unexpected life insurance payout that my dad set up for her long ago without her knowledge...not a lot, but a nice windfall......i told her that if she bought us a nice digital video/still camera, we would put a commemerative plague on the side and dedicate it to me dad...he loved photography.......

ok, so the mean mamma is thoroughly enjoying the children's day off from school..........by laying in the bed til the impossible time of 7:20...listening to npr, and by reading the newspaper til 7:35...would have read it longer but an information-obsessed family member took it from me........and now...i sit blogging in my robe with a luscious cup of coffee at a tme when i would normally be in the car somewhere between dhs and jres..........sheer bliss.......i am aiming for starting work at 8:30 or so........i have yet to check out cnn.com to read their headline news......life is good.......

ok, so my darling did the smart thing and brought a bouquet of iris today...a day early, because he knew that today i might need a little pickmeup.....how sweet.....love is grand......speaking of love, i heard a vague rumor today that one of my children is enamored...it was news to me, and a nice surprise.....

ok, so the mean mamma was drama mamma today when she started to prepare 80 pounds of chicken breasts for a big event saturday, only to find that she actually had 80 pounds of chicken wings......luckily the saleperson can deliver the correct poundage on saturday morning and all should be well.........

i didn't sleep well last night...i woke up around 3:00 am smelling smoke.........i looked allover the house for the course, then finally went outside, where the scent was more pungent......could not locate any burning buildings in my vicinity........as i plodded about in the dark in bare feet.......however..i kept thinking about the water heater and i was afraid to drop back off to sleep lest we all die because i was not vigilant enough...........i could still smell the burning when i went out for the newspaper at 6:50 am...i have no idea where the scent was coming from.....

friday night we have enough reservations we have now a second seating at 8:30, which means we will never go home before 11:00 pm unless we can convince these tables of lovebirds that they want to skip dessert and head on home......

i want to thank the l.o. for her advice on cayle's birthday gift way back in madird...the perfume with the necklace was a big hit......

ok, so the mm finds all of this contraversy about the laramie project curious.......do those reverends really think that people decide to be gay based on plays that they have seen about people being brutally murdered? i did enjoy the one letter in the paper tonight from the woman who related the entire thing to the civil rights struggle....we all just want to be understood and accepted for what we are....in my case that is an aging, white, francophile, bibliophile, oenophile, democrat, free choice, liberal baptist, seamstress who cooks for a living.......whoooooooooo. that is not all but time is nigh for my third child's birth mother to appear........i do not think there is enough wine on hand for this occassion.......

but back to the laramie project. i have a new appreciation for the gay lifestyle, in my current partnership, and there is nothing easy about it......the reverends in questions would be shocked to learn of the extent of the gay community in danville....and none were swayed to the other side by the laramie project..............they all came to their own conclusions on their own......most have never told their mothers, but that is beside the point........how would i feel if one of my children told me.....i do not know.........i am still dealing with the wearing of undergarments. the getting of permits, and the completion of college courses........i will worry about that issue on another day.........like scarlett ohara,...............oscar, .best actress in a leading role., vivien leigh 1939..........

ok, so we had another new person start work today, and expect 2-3 more to start tomorrow night.......change is tough, as the new chef's assistant (his wife....) was working in the kitchen today getting ready for the new dinner menu....and we had to juggle oven space, refrigerator space....counter space....the nice thing about having her there was the fact that a) she can both talk and hear b) she has interesting things to say....i have worked with a deaf assistant for so long that i almost forgot how pleasant a workday can be with someone to talk to....in the past, i could go all morning without speaking if the phone didn't ring......we start a new lunch menu tomorrow, with a few new items....like the availability of shrimp or grilled salmon on a salad, and a seared salmon filet on focaccia bread....ah well, i work the next 17 days without a day off...pray for me.......

pray for all of us.....by the way....cayle has just gotten over the flu and scw is now stricken....when scw asks to be taken to the doctor, he is unwell.......i cannot afford to be sick.......

ok, so i have been informed that my pick for book club in feb 2003 is not a popular one.......jane austen's persuasion......a social satire not a novel.......my last 3 picks have been equally as unpopular...colette's cherie..........virginia wolfe's to the light house......sue grafton's a is for alibii.........surely my taste in reading does not mesh with the danville running community......year after year.............of course i suffered through undaunted courage...but those who will not give jane a second thought are cowards at the very least..........jane austin is the most pure writer of prose to come along in 3 centuries let alone 2.........and i am not even a janite........

ok, so the mean mamma is considering a change....from mean mamma to drama mamma..........to bahama mamma.......no, i do not have plans to go to the islands.........but i like the sound of it better than mean or drama......i sounds like someone who has a good time with great food and good beer......speaking of the islands, i have never been to an island paradise......which kind of sounds suspicious when said aloud....france 11 times, island paradise 0 times......i am either really crazy or somehow determined to spend my leisure time in places that tend to rainy, dreary, and cold/damp. maybe i do not feel i deserve sunshine......i thought that this past trip to spain was a real positive step, and then i rained/snowed most of our trip.......so much for costa del sol.......

pray for the mean/drama/bahama mamma......her 3rd child's birth mother descends tomorrow...and all will be in upheaval until she is gone...........

ok, so i have read every reporting today of the oscar nominations....and i am unashamed in my interest......i have watched every oscar presentation for as long as i can remember, and i find the genre of great cultural significance.........think about all the films not nominated in any given year..they tend to be the most watched, biggest grossing films,,, the kind i don't even pay to see on video...at least with oscar nominations i am likely to rent the video at some point...maybe the same year of release.........of course, i take umbrage when my 'films' don't win...like lotr, which did not win best picture last year, and i am appalled when actors appear to win on the sympathy vote.....i do enjoy the fashion parade on the red carpet.....and the thank you speeches...if i won i would likewise thank everyone i knew.......ah well.......

ok, so i received the following as an email from my only sibling:


U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, at the 11th hour, has altered his next presentation to Congress to try to satisfy the concerns of Congressional Democrats, as well as U.S. critics elsewhere in the world. Previously, Mr. Powell had planned to show images and documents demonstrating that the Iraqi government has weapons of mass destruction, and is deliberately deceiving U.N. inspectors. However, the White House has become convinced that even with such overwhelming evidence, the U.N. and Democrats in Congress will still oppose action to disarm Saddam Hussein. So, instead, Mr. Powell will present the following accusations against Iraq:
Saddam Hussein personally owns guns, and uses them.
Iraq produces oil, the combustion of which will doom the planet to a second ice age.
Saddam supports the death penalty and uses it.
Saddam supports the concept of "ZERO" separation of church and state.
Saddam supports prayer (5 times a day).
Most Iraqis, including all government officials, drive Sport Utility Vehicles (SUVs).
Saddam's daily menu consists entirely of endangered species.
Saddam believes that Iraq is better than other countries.
Saddam is decisive, often seeing issues in black and white terms, rather than countless shades of gray.
Most Iraqis are meat eaters.
Many Iraqis are "Pro-life", opposing abortion.
Saddam supports school vouchers.
A few Senate Democrats, including Hillary Clinton, Tom Daschle and Ted Kennedy, having previewed the script for the presentation expressed outrage at Iraq, and wondered why President Bush had not previously gone public with such "damning evidence."
"We are ready to authorize the immediate use of overwhelming force, " said one unnamed Senate Democrat. "This crazed dictator must be stopped before his ideas spread throughout the region."


The previous cut/paste has reaffirmed why i am not a republican, why i am not for the war, and why i am the black sheep of my republican family.......

ok, so i watched what i thought was the last episode of joe millionaire......i had not watched any moment up to now, and i tuned into to see the chateau more than anything.......i fantisize about owning french property...not something quite that big......more like a cottage near the med and/or a paris apartment near the muette metro stop........the concept of dating someone in full public view is quite bizarre, and this guy is not someone i would drool over....he is more the big/dumb kind of guy rather than the well-read well-informed sensitive/intuitive kind of guy...of course, this whole hour was not the end..the only thing i really got out of it was a good long walk on the treadmill..........

ok, so i just read a lengthy review/critique of mulhooland drive at salon.com.......which purports that diane had hitmen kill her lover camilla, and the movie is essentially her fantasy of how she wished things had turned out with her life and her relationship with camilla..........that she had come to hollywood and had an immediate audition and job offers and that camilla would have become not only in love with her but dependent on her and she kills herself out of guilt and dispair that she is just a waitress who came to town with big dreams that never came to fruition......and that other people get all the breaks......they did not know who the cowboy was supposed to be, or the meaning of the blue box.....just too weird....must get this movie out of my mind........

ok, so the sun doesn't shine in boyle county, at least so far as the new liscense plates go......apparantly the sunshining bright against a rainbow sky hasn't sold well in b.c. since it came out,.....and sales of fundraiser plates is way up.........except with the gay community, who have rallied behind the rainbow-part of the plate, and think it great that the motto is right there in black and white....'we ARE that friendly' what a hoot.......i am sure that the people who devised this plate never thought about the rainbow and its newfound symbolism....... ah well........

sc and i watched mulholland drive yesterday....we were unprepared for the scene between two women, but couldn't even comment on it because my mother was in the room reading the paper, just out of eyeshot......whup.....i am still trying to figure out what happened in that film......is the man in the cowboy hat playing god, and recasting his storyline with different people as the tape plays on? the actors all changed who they were playing about 3/4 of the way through....it was quite bizarre, especially when the happy couple form the plane were turned into midgets and they came screaming into the room and betty turned diane can't take it and she kills herself.......too strange........speaking of the scene with the two women, the least they could have done was to find two actresses with believable breast...the dark haired woman has been enhanced, i suspect......she is quite overinflated and cannot now sleep on her belly.........

there is now a tv ad for breast enlargement, by some surgeon out of lex.....the woman in the ad works hard, so she deserves to have her breasts enlarges since this will make all of her hard work somehow worthwhile........oh please.......

ok, so scw contends that mean mamma should be renamed as drama mamma for reasons i shall not devulge in this forum.........in return, drama mamma has discovered that althougth scw has never died in his black hat, he can be tickled while wearing the hat, but only for a fleeting moment when he realizes that he cannot tolerate tickling and he retaliates.........

drama mamma regrets that she is unable to attend the indigo girls concert tuesday at singletary center........there are few acts that i would like to see in person, and they are one of the select......their song 'closer to fine' has the sweetest harmony and the most poignant lyrics......amy and emily have been together as a recording act for 20 years, and 3 years as a duo prior....there is something to be said for longevity in a tenous business like the recording industry........in the herald leader article, emily spoke of a concert where upon amy lost her voice, and the audience simply sang her part to help emily out....i suppose i like their music because it is forceful without being angry.......alas, i teach on tuesdays and life gets in the way of good times..........

ok, so today is sunday, my only day off this week, and i have to really start tidying up my house.....cayle's birthday is wednesday, and her birth mother will be here....i really aught to finish these window treatments for the back room and get them up...as the frames we took down from the cafe at the restaurant were cut down to fit my windows AND they are sitting around on the floor...in the way......my mother managed to break her own sewing machine as well as mine while making the new drapes for the restaurant....the velvet valance really bogged up the works.....so that neither of us had a working machine to make my own 'awning-like' window treatments......they shouldn't take long...if i am lucky we will get it done this evening.......i read in yesterday's paper that sewing is seeing a comeback, which i find curious......i have sewn all of my remembered life........and i know that a successful project requires fabric (which i have in abundance), a machine (check), the right mood (oh my....) time (ditto) and the need to get the project done (there's the rub) these days i seem to lack mood, time and the pressing need to finish projects...so i have several projects sitting unfinished in my sewing cabinet......such as a quilt top that i started at least 7 years ago......it is several shades of blue....and i no longer have a blue-themed house.....so i kind of lost interest in it.....i thought about finishing it for acw as a graduation gift, but lacked the time and so it languishes unfinished on a shelf....maybe if i get it out and do a little everyday., i might finish before scw graduates.......the fabric thing is kind of funny.....i actually cleaned out my fabric closet not too long ago, and gave several garbage bags full to the goodwill.....and i still have too much.......pieces that i think maybe i could use to make something for cayle........if only i had the time or she had the need or i was in the mood.......

ok, so i spent 4 hours this afternoon attending mandatory alcohol training...learning how alcohol affects people, and what servers do about it as well as the extent to which i am liable if someone drinks too much or drinks illegally.......initially we will card everyone who wants to drink, including little old ladies with canes.....until we get a feel for telling who is at an age to ask in the first place..and a feel for what fake id's look like...frankly, i would be flattered to be asked for my id......we also learned that we are liable for parents who allow their children to have their own glass of wine......your child may taste with your permission and at your discretion, but they absolutely must have no glass in front of them......so much for my entire trip to spain ......, where the waiters automatically poured scw and lo a small glass......essentially we had 4 hours of watching videos of people being rudely drunk, and the servers dealing with it...our liscense will be an adventure.....

ok, so mm watched most of the rebroadcast michael jackson interview....what a sorry state of affairs.....mm doesn't know which issue to comment on first...the nose/facial surguries, the children sleeping with him, the veils on his children..........the statement that his ex-wife has no contact with her children because 'she can't handle it' what kind of father would want to raise his children to have no intimate relationship with their mother...certainly not one who wanted to raise healthy happy and well-adjusted children...to desire to be everything to one's children and to not share them is quite vain and egocentric......the veils also indicate that jacko feels a strange possessiveness with his children.....only his eyes may look upon them...they belong only to michael and he will not share with the rest of the world.....i will pray daily for those poor children.......that they not grow up to be just like daddy......the segment on 20/20 about jacko's many facial transformations was staggering....the screen 'morphed' his face from the original through each successive new 'look'.....at least 8 different nose/skin tone/check/chin variations...and then replayed jacko's insistence during the interview that he had only had 2 surguries on his nose 'that he could recall' and that those were to help him breathe so that he could hit high notes..........please, jacko, give us some credit.......the changes are as plain as the nose on your face.......and the present nose is quite scary....it is so thin and shortened....the plastic surgeon interviewed (not the one who did the deeds.....) said that michael has an end-stage nose.....nothing further can be done because their is no longer any original cartilage to work with.......he also contends that he has some rare disease that has caused his skin to bleach out.......yeah, right......

of course, not just the rich are into transformation......one of our best customers, who has not been in since before xmas, showed up this week, with obvious alterations......implants, botox, maybe even a tuck here and there.......her skin looked almost stretched over her facial bones it was so snug.......and her lips were swollen up like she was having an allergic reaction...her husband was obviously proud.....maybe it WAS her xmas gift........if i were ever to have altering surgury, it would be a reduction not an enlargement.....of course an unnamed soul close to my heart says that if i would just lose 20 pounds, i wouldn;t need a reduction........

ok, so the m.m. is moving out of the comfort zone and into the next level of her professional life....major expansion. .we had 3 new people start work last night, and a new person started last week.......so from the get-go there is much confusion in the kitchen and lots of explaining/direction to be given.......communication may be the toughest challenge, as the 2 lunch time kitchen helpers are both deaf, but the new evening kitchen helper CAN hear but doesn't understand much english and is unfamiliar with many american ways of doing things.....he is from cameroon, studying at midway in the nursing program...last night both the deaf dishwasher and the cameroon dishwasher were there, and i got very confused as to who i had to motion/hand signal and who i could just verbally direct...we are hosting a required 4-hour alcohol training today, and hope to hire several more people from the pool who attend this training.....we will probably have a separate crew for lunch and for dinner, with both helping out at catered events.......change is good, but change is unsettling by its very nature.......extra people will surely change our dynamics as a working team and we may lose the tight-knit atmosphere that has made coming to work thus far a joy.............

ok, so i think i accidently deleted an email from my friend gail.......it would have come into my junk mail folder, as i have not added her yet to my 'good email' list....and i always just glance over my junk mail before deleting the usual rounds of enlargement potions and assorted porn pictures and get-out-of debt schemes.........hopefully she will send her message again.....

ok, so the mean mamma hopes to welcome her friend gail to her audience of gentle readers........again, danville schools have a 1 hour delay, but the m.m has no delay...she must finish this cup fo coffee and get to work and cook some rather large carryout orders as well as lunch.....happily, tonight our new chef and assistant start work, so there will be plenty of helping hands in the kitchen for whatever supper crowd shows up......this morning, though delayed has not been without drama.....my almost 10 years old came down in a pair of jeans so tight she could hardly walk, and when asked to change them she insisted that they weren't too tight........alas, when she tried to take them off, after much debate, she found that she couldn't undo the top button, and had to ask the m.m. to do it...the mm who was obviously wrong about them being too tight.........ironic, isn't it, that both baggy and tight are in style......one extreme too snug for adequate breathing and the other to the point that drooping clothing no longer covers undergarments......what ever happened to wearing clothes that fit????????

ok, so we are fully booked for pre-centre dinner tonight, plus we are catering for 100 people at 3:00 am....and another 200 at 11:00 tomorrow and another 120 at 7:00 tomorrow night....we would send in our liquour lic.application today, but we spent the money we set aside (mega-bucks...) to pay for the lic. on the all the improvements that the fire inspectors et al required before they would sign off on the application.......how is that for a catch-22...now we need several really bifg days to get us caught back up and we will have that sucker in the mail......

ok, so i am rereading the hours by michael cunningham, pulitzer prize winning author that wrote the book on which the current movie is based.......it is a book for virginia woolf buffs, of that there is no doubt...i have a hard time believing that the average joe off the street will enjoy the movie without first having read mrs.dalloway, the book on which the hours is based, ;let alone the hours itself.......the 3 women in the movie/book do not actually meet each other, and are not on screen together......but each are essential to the plot.....there is a place in the third chapter at which i burst out laughing, in the hot bathtub, no less........the meryl streep character..clarissa dalloway...is standing on a corner waiting for a traffic light, holding a bouquet of flowers......there are two girls also waiting...and debating on the movie shooting taking place across the street and down some......'i think it was susan sarandan' says one ot the other.......no i think it was meryl streep. says the other.....in the movie they must have surely included this joke, as meryl streep is standing right beside them when the line is said.......maybe they chose her because of the mention in the book, or maybe because the role called for a truly intense female.......i hope that i have not already blogged on this....i am getting older by the moment, it seems.....

ok, so our new dishwasher asked me if i was my partner's mother...........an old joke, as i am older than my partner's mother, and will be older still at the end of the month.......february, for the last 2 years,,,has been bad for birthdays....as it rollsa round after the visa bill comes....containing the latest rental car problem......last year the benzene rather than the diesel ($400) and this year the scraped right back rear panel ($620) which means that my renting a car in europe has a direct impact on my birthday tributes........of course.......going to europe most years should be birthday gift enough, but that is beside the point.....next trip i will not , i repeat not, rent a car.......

ok, so more obstacles to the elusive liquour license...we do not have enough parking based on the square footage used by the fire marshal to verify our seating capacity...what a catch-22...if we had less square footage we would need less parking but we could not justify our 100 seats......so now we must petition planning and zoning for a parking variance.....we have more than freddies....but we are in the same boat...downtown we can only count parking we either own or rent...we cannot count on-street parking........i am so frustrated...we also have to pave the alleyspace outside our emergency exit.....because it is dirt and the fire marshall says that nobody can escpae fully through our emergency door onto dirt...they must escape onto concrete.....

on a happier note, we have hired our weekend dishwasher..he is from cameroon and speaks french as a primary language.....he is related to centre's bio-chem instructor and goes to midway during the week......i asked him if he wanted coffee 'en francais' when he came into interview, then commented that jerry was late by saying is est tard,.....which scw says was incorrect...it should have been il est en tard......or that is what i think he said.......anyway, the weekend chef recently took a spanish class to help him speak to immigrant workers, and we hired one who speaks french.......we are working with the weekend chef on his new menu....he has several beef dishes, a veal dish, a marinated pork medallion dish, and red tuna as a seafood offering.....sounds good so far.....after everybody is trained on friday night, saturday lunch and saturday night, i will only have to be there if there is a special event.....like a wedding or extra dinner.......i will believe it when i see it.......

ok, so we are getting close to cayle's birthday, which means we are getting close to the 'birth mother's visit'........this is an annual, stressful event, which has us anxious from beginning to end....mostly because cayle gets very anxious from beginning to end......when her birthmother leaves, as she must do, cayle feels abandoned all over again..........

ok, so why has lacy's disappearance disappeared from the news........this poor pregnant california woman is still missing, and i am still convinced that her husband did her in for the insurance.....the space shuttle disaster has bumped this story way down.....hopefully the police in california are still on the case.....

ok, so this afternoon i made the rounds of my favorite lexington area boutiques......which means i shopped at the best of the best goodwill stores......for kids clothes, the goodwill cannot be beat...i bought 8 pairs of size 12 and 14 girls jeans and khakis for a total of $16.....last week i paid $31 for 2 pairs of new jeans.....given the rough treatment they will receive, the goodwill price makes sense......in fact, the goodwill pants are in better shape than the last load i delivered to the danville goodwill as a donation...she has really torn up the knees.......none of the real deals like last time...not like the time when i bought cayle a leather bomber jacket for $4.....or an express velour vest for $1.75.......nevertheless, cayle's closet will be full again when they all come out of the dryer.......

ok, so the subject of the sunday school lesson this morning was regrets......we were asked to make a short list of regrets at the beginning of the lesson......i started to record things that were job related....like staying too long.... or things that were romantic-related....like old boyfriends that i should have dumped sooner.....but decided that these are things that happened along the path that brought me to this very place.....and i cannot count them as regrets if they brought me to this family, in this house, in this life i now lead........no, i can only count as a regret those things that i did or did not do that had no affect on the outcome...for example, i regret that on our 3 week honeymoon, ecw and i chose to go to the riviera rather than vienna...i can see us in the car in innsbruck.....i thinkng of going on to vienna, but ecw thinking about the great time he had in st. tropez and wanting me to see it.......of course, by the time we got to st tropez it was rainy, littered, and unremarkable......i have never yet made it to vienna.....and i regret that i have not done so......i could remedy this at any time, i suppose........maybe next january?

ok, so we have had an idyllic family evening.....first a game of scrabble.......of ocurse, scw won, but not by much......the first word he put out had 50 points..........then we watched old cam corder tapes......with all of the family,,back to greatgrandpsa broughton...when scw was only 1 and acw was 3......seems like only yesterday.....ecw's parents, my dad, several aunts and cousins and friends we don't see much.......even a few people that ecw and i don't recognize........all 15 years past, when ecw still had a mustache......

ok, so i read on-line this morning that michael jackson will star in television sweeps specials for nbc and abc.....why bother......he has so disfigured his face that it is hard ot look at him now....even the end of his nose has gone missing.......since the baby dangling incident michael lacks any cred that may have attracted an audience....if anything people will tune in to see what is going on..then quickly tune out.........