ok, so mean mamma takes umbrage with the increasing number of spam emails in her junk mail box that must be erased on a daily basis. no, mean mamma does not want to see jlo naked, nor receive valuable low interest credit cards nor human growth hormone to aid in weight loss, nor any number of other enhancement products. meam mamma scoffs at the pitiful come on lines designed to entice the unwarry to open these messages. kathycw52, information on your commissions..... trashy lies like that, alas, i must weed through my junk mail now that i use the filter, because now and then i get a real message from someone not on my safe list that i want to hear from.....

for the record, mean mamma intends to use every synonym before she listed several days ago before moving on to something else.....

ok, so i looked all day for an excuse to use the term 'in high dudgeon', it is so jane austenesque. frankly, i have been in high dudgeon all day- for no particular reason other than i would rather be at home, with a good book, and a glass of wine, out on my deck, getting just a bit of sun. the sun thing is less important now that i have discovered that estee lauder sells perfectly respectable sun in a squeeze bottle. i do not have a new good book just now-but i am rereading some old good books that a friend returned to me recently( i apologize to those in my family who were falsely accused of having said books....) i have reread the pleasing hour, by lily king, le marriage and le divorce , 2 books by diane johnson, and will reread the hours (?author) next. the hours is being filmed with tom cruise's ex wife whose name escapes me as the star. it is based on virginia wolfe's life and either the wave or to the lighthouse or both- but is in no way autobiographical-i read the book based on a review heard on npr (ditto for the pleasing hour) i have only made a few mistakes with reading books reviewed on npr, by the way. adults should be issued summer reading lists just to keep them up to snuff on what is out there worth reading.......no tests, please.

ok, so mean mamma regrets using the term 'pissed off' in yesterday's blog. she should have used a more interesting synonym like displeased, animosed, angered, enraged, indignant; exasperated, piqued, took umbrage of, huffed, miffed, in high dudgeon over, etc. yea, yea, yea, so I looked those up on thesaurus on-line, but it has been quite some time since mean mamma memorized the thesaurus.....speaking of which, it is not too soon for certain scholars she knows who wish to attend competitive colleges to start memorizing the thesaurus in preparation for the sat and act. it would be deliciously ironic if one of my synonyms made cut in either of those tests- i give you permision in advance to chuckle aloud if one should be printed saucily on the page....

ernst and i really did enjoy the baseball game last evening in lexington. the park is small and each seat has a great view of the action, close enough to hear the crack of the bat and the muffled whoosh of the ball in the cather's mitt. we had sub sandwiches and ky ale, a quite nice beer with a nutty flavor that was surprisingly smooth- i have been bit before by local beers that were like sleeping dogs (a bit of a bite....) the legends won 5-2, and we got home before 11:00 pm. i could have done without the dancing girls, the loud musical interjections (hit me with your best shot.....) and the constant commercials just below the big screen for replays. but this is america, and this is the stuff we do best.....

ok, so i am pissed off because none of my children will come with me to the lexington legends minor league baseball game with ernst and me tonight using free lux box tickets we got from our food supplier. all three, even the 9 year old produced lame reasons why they should not be forced to attend such a spectacle- hatred for the game of baseball itself seemed to top the list. the two of us may just go ourselves. ernst loves baseball, and his favorite memories of youth involve little league. i will interject here that his worst memories involve baseball- the year that he was mvp neither of his parents bothered to attend a single game- they were too busy despite the fact that by that time all but 2 had moved out of the house....... i am ambivalent about the game- but look forward to seeing the new stadium and being with my beloved. i would much rather be with all of my beloveds, sitting in a quaint baseball park, under the lights......

ok, so i don't read closely enough- so all this time i thought that YOU hadn't been blogging, it was simply my inattention to your change of blog location.......i knew deep down that a committed bloger such as yourself wouldn't just stop, but i was worried, for a minute.......

ok, so i voted this morning on the way to work. it was just me that voted, i suppose, because it was only me and the voting site people while i was there. the last time i voted, in november, i waited for 2.5 hours in a winding line to get to the voting booth. though voting for president was important, this election is everything local- people that can make or break things on a close-to-home level. i am ashamed that so few of my friends and neighbors appear to have bothered to come on in and vote. i am also somewhat taken aback that so many people want to be sheriff- you would think that it was high pay and even higher prestige. happily we have had no shootings or murders or the like tied to our sheriff's race. or lude videos in mudslinging commercials for that matter. i cannot vote for mayor or city commission- i would have preferred that ballot sheet. i am not saying who (whom?) i would prefer for those slots, but i do have my hopes.....

ok, so today is memorial day and i have the entire day off. it is 9:00 am and i am still in my robe, having just finished reading the paper on the back deck with a lovely cup of hazelnut coffee and the faint trill of birdsongs. we are comtemplating a trip with cayle to the cincinnati zoo- but i could easily lay around the house and do next to nothing except read, sleep and eat. it will be strange to go to cincinnati and not be able to drop by and see ernst's mom or dad. i believe that lisa has just sold their place in madeira, and that the will is in probate. i still find it hard to accept that ernst lost both his parents within the last year- BOTH. his mother always had someone that she needed to take care of- her mother-in-law, her children, the sister with the brain tumor, her father, her husband. and when they were all gone, she died before she could simply enjoy life on her own. we live in her father's house on the lake. ernst has many memories of family times here- both good and bad. we still find vodka bottles, both intact specimens as well as broken pieces, to remind us that grandpa and aunt ginny found refuge from the world here with the help of copious amounts of alcohol. maybe today we should plant a tree in honor of ernst's parents- like we planted a forest pansy redbud a few years ago in honor of sister sylvia (of the brian tumor). yes, today, it may be fitting to just sit here at home with our memories, on this memorial day.

ok, so i am still not over graduation. it has occured to me that there are 3 classes of achievers (sp?)- first there are your straight-up achievers- the ones who have both aptitude and work ethic to use that aptitude to the fullest. i was so proud of chiara, rowan and tyler at graduation-they each fit the bill when it comes to aptitude and work ethic. next are the over-achievers. they make up for aptitude with strong work ethic and personal drive- there were a few people with 3.5+ gpa's who received no scholarships, possibly because they failed to have the test scores to go along with gpa. scholarship or no, they will proably do well in college because their work ethic will drive them to find enough paying work to fund college. ironically, their classmates may scoff at them, knowing that 'they aren't that smart' . smart or not, they still achieve, and this is a results-oriented world. lastly, there are the underachievers- os as chiara described them in her speech- the ones who sat back andlet high school just happen to them. they are the ones with the brilliant test scores but mediocre gpas- the ones who have yet to live up to their potential. if these individuals approach college in the same way that they approached hs, then they might as well flip burgers for the time being and save the money they would have spent on college. higher education is wasted on the underachiever who sleeps in class. or worse still, skips class altogether because extracurricular stuff like partying, computer games, and the like takes up all of ones time and energy. the underachievers lack discipline, and somehow must find some in order to make an honest go of the future. no names to the underachievers of the class of 2002. they know who they are. there is still time to change the road that they are on.

ok, so i didn't cry at graduation until the end of the presentation of diplomas- the last guy, in a wheelchair, who ms cassidy noted was the first person in his family to graduate from high school. boy, that really did it. i had to take off my glasses to wipe away the tears because i couldn't see clearly for a moment there. in my family, i cannot even be the first ph.d.- the most that i can say is that i am the only hyphen- this combo-name thing may begin and end with me....... i am not the only democrat- my mother tells me that my grandmother crown- the one who never learned to drive was also a democrat. i am certainly not the one with the most interesting midlife crisi- my cousin marilyn crown grodi, takes the cake- she is the one who has masters degree in home economics and decided to stay home with her children and do homeschooling, and at age 40 or so had her third baby, a 13 pound boy, at home with a midwife and no medication BUT with bleached blond hair (go figure.....) of course, what i see as a midlife crisis and is simply her life. Now if have to sit back and see how andrew lives his life- for better or worse. i went ahead and put together a memories poster for project graduation- with photos from birth, through montessori, bate and high school. he will not be pleased when he sees it, because he forbid me to do it- hence i did it anyway- had he been indifferent i might have forgotten altogether......anyway- back to the first to graduate from high school- wow- that used to be the american dream- to have enough leisure time to finish high school. i cannot recall much of what the 5 (count-em 5) student speakers had to say, but i wil always remember the fellow who was the first to finish high school in his family, this was a proud, proud day.

i heard yesterday about the remains of chaundra levy found in rock creek park in washington. i know that her parents will be relieved after this time to have closure to her disappearance, though no answers. the worst part of having a child leave home is the worrisome reality that they will meet with a bad end- one that you were not able to protect then from, or warn them specifically about, or grab them back from- like a mother grabbing her child's coat to pull him out of oncoming traffic at a street corner. letting go is really tough. this year, with andrew going out more and more, and coming in later and later, was simply a prelude to him not being home at all for weeks and/or months at a time. i will virtually have to trust that i have instilled in him some sort of survival skills. my gut response is 'i am too old for this'- but i shouldn't look at it that way. rather, 'i am too young for this' that's it. my parents seemed far older than i am now when i left home. at least that's how i remember it. i couldn't be that old now.......

ok, so i bought my family's third cell phone yesterday- we are almost to the limit of cingular's family share plan.......with andrew driving his ramshackle car he was always borrowing our phones in case something happened, and then either or both of us would not have a phone when we needed one. so, he is sharing in on our 250 minutes a month plsu 3500 night and weekend minutes and the rest of our 2750 rollover minutes.....it is all so confusing and confounding- especially the part about free nationwide long distance- its free when you call from here out of the area- but not if you are out of the area calling home, because then you have to pay roaming charges. AND if two of our phones call each other, each phone has minutes deducted. how is it that i ever handled life without a phone in my car- nopt that i use the phone much- we averaged 20 minutes a month prior to andrew's line- but those 20 minutes seemed important at the time- in the rain with no payphone is sight and a need to know where someone was or a need to give out my whereabouts and/or destination. I am now paying for 2 home lines and 3 cell phones- maybe we can give up our home phones and just use cell phones......hopefully the pesky telmarketers won't get my cell numbers any time soon.......

ok, so today is my husband's birthday- his 47th birthday but the 1st that he will spend without his mamma. he mentioned it last night- that this the 1st birthday without his mom or his dad (his dad died last july and his mom in february) that is so sad to be an orphan- even at 47 years of age. he is coming to a late lunch with me at the restaurant- and we will have a late supper with cake and ice cream after cayle's soccer game. he has requested new blue jeans (size 32/32- the size has not varied in 21 years of marriage) -straight leg- no buttons, no flares, no fancy pockets, rivets- just plain jeans. the ones he likes the best are from gap- i won't have time to run up there today- so i will take my chances with goody's after work. he has also requested a blood, sweat and tears greatest hits cd- just try to find that in danville at the last minute- we will pull something together to make this 47th birthday pleasant and special.

ok, so i watched the 2 hour series finale of x-files last night, and am now more confused than i have been in my intermittent viewing of this show over 9 seasons. I was not a rabid fan, obviously, maybe because i like to get a good night sleep on sundays and that sort of thing would cause an uneasy night. anyway, i thought that the bringing up the presence of cross/jesus/god in the last 5 minutes of the season as a reason for hope in the future was a bit lame and gratuitous. i thought that there were many unanswered questions, even for a show that will probably foster a few major motion pictures now that the weekly serial has ended.

i do plan to watch the series finale of ally mcbeal- i also anticipate a lame attempt to tie up loose ends- and i am sad that i am jaded about it before seeing it- i used to enjoy the show and find it banal and senseless in its attempt at madcap humor at this point. ah, well- maybe she'll do the mary tyler moore thing and throw her hat up into the air..........

ok, so i am the only democrat in my birth family- there- i am out of the closet so to speak- my only sibling is rabidly republican- my parents are republican- so much so that my mother tried to vote for my father in the presidential election because he couldn't vote for bush on his own......my aunt and uncle in cleveland are republican, my cleveland grandparents were likewise, as was my crown grandfather down on the farm in nashport, ohio, on the erie canal. my crown grandmother was a democrat- or so it was said- but she was so vested in traditional marriage that she never drove a car, so i guess it doesn't count. of course, i am married to someone that i assume is democrat, after 21 years one forgets if one has actually asked these improtant questions, but i would be really surprised .........now that i have gottn that issue off my chest, i feel much better..

ok, so last night i went with cayle and my mother to a mother-daughter event at her church. i have never done anything like this before, but it turned out that it was as important to my daughter as it was to my mother, so i went despite my fatigue and lack of enthusiasm. the event was called "celebrating weddings at centenary' or something like that. the banquet room was decorated like a wedding reception. we played shower games at each table, there were bubbles and wedding favors at each place.....there were wedding pictures of church members (19 or so) and ballots so that you could guess on who was who....we sat at a table with a neighbor (around the corner and down a bit) who(whom?) i had never met, and her grown daughter from lexington. we found ourselves discussing the big marijauna bust from last fall that took place in fields between us and the prison. you might not know about it because it happned on 9/10- and the account ended up in a tiny paragraph on the back page rather than a major story complete with photo given the tragic circumstances of 9/11. we all talked about our emotions at seeing huey type transport helicoptors hovering over the horizon- like some sort of invasion force- at first we thought that it was a prison escape or some sort- then we deduced that it must be a drug bust. i can't recall the actual plant count- but it was sizable. the plants were grown amongst the weeds rather than the traditional corn plants.

anyway, it was nice to have something in common with this woman who has lived near me without meeting me for over 20 years. and it was nice to sit with my female family during the style show of wedding gowns. only one woman in attendence could wear her own gown- jule and laura johnson, among others, modeled church member gowns- there was one dress that caused me to grow slightly nauseated- it was from a wedding in 1973- and it was the same pattern that i used to make my prom dress that year- and it looked horrid- i had an uncomfortable flashback- fashion deja vu is an ugly thing......after the style show we had punch and wedding cake in the parlor- cayle ate a large piece and since i had none- she sat on my lap. for those who have had their daughters since birth, since may sound insignificant- but for someone who is inching up on a maternal relationship- this was huge. she felt like getting up in my lap, and it felt right. she is a daddy's girl at heart- probably because she feels the lack of knowledge about birth father, and because ernst is such a daddy kind of guy. that is just fine with me- but we mothers need to have some physical connection with our children before they reject us- and cayle and i are still working on this. i asked her if she wanted to try on my wedding dress one day- she just beamed at the notion.......

for what it is worth, i made my wedding dress in less than a week, for about 60 dollars including pattern, from a scetch i made of something i had seen in a bridesmade dress in a magazine. mean mamma doesn't do frou-frou. it was a satin sleeveless sheath dress with a sheer organza overdress, tea length, with a wide satin ribbon at the waist and tiny ribbons at the wrists. it was simple yet elegant- i wore flat ballerina slippers and a refashioned version of my mothers veil attached to a lace kind of headpiece- the veil wouldn't stay on so i kind of heaved it during the ceremony and it is in few of the pictures. i have been told since that my hair was probably too clean. 21 years later, i really do still like that dress- its simplicity, its lack of pretense and expense, and the fact that i made it myself. princess di married the month after i did- with far greater expense and hoopla, and without the happy ending, alas....

ok, so in the middle of a major catering job- in a tent in a field in the driving rain- my children disclosed that they both enjoy my blog but feel that the information provided is much too dangerous -like my name- and that the information that i share about them is much too personal. then came the ultimate insult- 'you know mom- your blog is almost as bad as grandma's christmas newsletter'

now that hurts. my parents (and now just my mom) write this verbose christmas tome, with semi accurate information that is oh so personal to the point of liabel- my mother and i fell out for a time when she wrote about my miscarriage- and stated as fact that it would have been twins. the twins part was pure conjecture- and the inclusion of the miscarriage was quite upsetting. to this day i contend that their college friends from 1948-1952 did not need to know about my miscarriage.

therefore, i will compare each and every blog to a christmas newsletter from hell- and hopefully edit out any information that would similarly upset my children. of course, i really don't think that i have embarasses my children as much as could have been done........

anyway- back to the catering job- we in mud up to our shoetops, cold and exhausted. my sons helped put together the spinach salads, and the strawberry shortcakes. they chatted away during the entire process- it is so fulfilling for a mother, even the meanest mamma, to see her children having positive, fraternal interaction. it was quite a special moment to see sons that used to be unable to be in the same room without the threat of physical violence to suddenly appear to enjoy the company and/or opinions of the other. .i might just cry remembering it. merry christmas, boys......

ok, so it has come to mean mamma's attention that her blog is hopelessly out of date- with it's color scheme, lack of snazzy scanned photos, etc, profile of 20 questions 'like how much weight have you gained since you got married? none of your business, next question.......' of course, mamma is much too mean to care about looking dated- she may even switch to an avocado and coppertone theme to be totally 70's, her basic comfort zone. i do watch that 70's show from time to time, and though i contend that none of my friends were that vacant anf shallow- the hairsyles and the clothing are right on target. in fact, those wooden bottom sandals that the young ones are wearing these days were 'in' when i was a freshman in college- i wouldn't buy another pair- as they were horribly uncomfortable, made too much noise on most walking surfaces, and were easy to 'fall off of'. as the teacher says, there is nothing new under the sun.....

ok, so i have been thinking lately about spontaneity- whether i have it, or whether others should have it for me....and i have come up with the conclusion that i only have planned spontaneity. i spend my spare time thinking about places that i want to go, so that when i get a notion to go to those places, it may seem madcap and last minute- but is is anything but that. i was listening to fresh air on npr coming back from picking up cayle from wednesday night church (that's right- i was not actually AT church with her, i stayed home and walked/read paper/drank wine....) the guest was an architect who has an article in this week's new yorker about what should be done with world trade center site- he says that we need to wait, as time will tell us what the ground should be used for. he also said that whatever goes up should make a profound impact on the ny skyline, just like the trade towers. something iconoclast.... that bit of on-air discussion started me thinking about planned spontaneity- if i had not spent time thinking about going to ny- i might not have actually made plans to go when i got the invitation to sheldon's opening in ny a few years ago- and stephan and i would not have gone on the saturday morning of the long weekend to the world trade towers to buy tickets to cats- if we had waited until i reallyhad the money to go (yes- i charged it- but it is since paid off completely...) or a longer time to spend there (just 2 nights and 2 days) we wouldn't have gone, and my budding architect would never have seen the trade towers in their real-time steel and glass glory. i have pictures of him standing in various places in front of various buildings, and thought nothing at the time, nor until this very moment about that part of our visit. (yes, gentle readers, that visit has become synonomous with losing stephan in the subway at 11:00 pm on a saturday night.......)

my father, the traveler, always contended that now is always the best time to go. you can't afford to wait until you retire, because circumstances could be worse then for the trip than they are now. truer words have yet to be spoken, for at 73 he is hopelessly senile, and travels only to the dining room of the v.a. home, with help, in a wheelchair. my father-in-law waited until he retired to live out his dream of going to florida over the winter, only to discover that he hated it- florida that is. my dad lost 2 of his brothers -1 to cancer and 1 to a heart attack- before they were old enough to retire- they never went anywhere that the army didn't send them in wwII- and i regret this for them- they both bought into the' you don't travel until you have the money and have the time' lie.

ah well, enough of this ranting. i am right this minute wishing that i was on a train bound for milan or florence or rome. if you should hear that i have actually gone ahead and done such a trip- be advised that i planned to do this crazy last minute thing all along......

ok, so this is andrew's last full day of school, and mean mamma is being nostalgic and weepy thinking about his first day of montessori preschool back in 1987 when he was 3 years old and oh so glad to being going. these days he is 17 and oh so glad to be not going any more. he considers high school pointless( didn't we all). i have sent a camera to school with my personal papparazzi, with a promise of a fat commission if he can somehow photograph this event. i am also working on tickets to graduation. it has occurred to me that my crowd-shy student may have avoided actually getting us tickets to graduation in hopes that we wouldn't/couldn't go and therefore he could just stay home that night- nothing doing. mean mamma requires a public graduation in return for support financially in future- this is an unwaivering threat- and mean mamma is just mean enough to follow through.....

ok, so i suffered through an awards event where only 1 of 2 children tapped for awards bothered to shop up, i think this is gods way of prepping me for sunday when seniors are honored and my only senior doesn't show up. at this point, i will be grateful if he actually shows up for graduation- the penalty for no-show at graduation is lack of parental funding at school, by the way......

this mean mamma was quite proud of both her boys- the one who showed up and the one who didn't. acw received a presential scholar certificate, based on grade point average and achievement test scores . he also recieved an acadmic awards in psychology. scw received an academic letter, the social studies award (jointly with david s.) the french award, and the computor applications/keyboarding award. he and david tied for awards tonight, with meghan de'arujio.

so danville is not ready for shitake mushrooms. i used them today in my beef stroganoff, and most plates came back with the mushrooms picked out like they were some kind of evil ingredient. I love their taste, especially in rich savory dishes- next time i will use plain old button mushrooms as not to confuse the populace.

another mother's day for the mean mamma. no breakfast in bed- not even a pot of coffee awaiting my descent into the kitchen. ernst will remember that it is mother's day when the minister mentions it during the sermon,. then he will run by the store on his way home from church. my mothers day gift generally comes from the krogers.......

ok, i am going to pay tribute to a left -field candidate. tonight i gave a prom dinner for my 2 independent study students paige and caelin, and kelly the daughter of one of my servers. 14 students attended, and the only guest (other than paige and caelin) to really say thanks was sara wilson. those who have followed the crown=webers since birth know that sara wilson has been in andrew's class since age 3 (montessori through 5th grade then bate then dhs). that means that i have known her for at least 15 years. she looked like a million bucks, by the way, getting out of her dates mercedes convetable- she is going to uk like acw, and i have offered a rec letter for sorority rush. she was gracious and lovely in a princess grace kind of way- i would like to say the same of andrew/s date but he didn't bring her by the restaurant. ........

there has been much said about the racial mix at this party- caelin's mother has called about the particularl's more than once.....i have had much time to think about the race issue this week since learning that i have black kinfolk....i am especially pleased that my brother took this news well= he intends to research the black side of our family- i find it a relief- an instant point of reference that i lacked in this southern town- i feel blessed to be related to both underground railroad germans, and northern blacks- it kind of makes up for the lambsheim nazis and the northern ohio kkk kin.

anyway, my upwardly mobile brother intends to research my black heritage, and i amhappy- it could'nt be worse than my mormon heritage.....

why is deja vu such an uncomfortable emotion/aura? we had a group of 10 from bchs this morning-eating lunch as a reward for something- all but 2 actually ate something- these two were emaciated little things who tried to tell the server that they had just eaten breakfast- yeah right. now, there are healthy looking naturally thin women- whose hair is glossy and whose skin has a nice glow. these two looked sallow, drawn, and with limp hair and a flat affect. the deja vu part is hard- i looked just like that when i was a senior in high school and the sight of another such pitiful soul is hard to behold. i couldn't eat for months because i was so upset that my sweet david w. started going out with my best friend susan b. to this day i really don't like susans as a rule- my stomach still churns. of course, if it hadn't been for her i might have married my sweet david, who is now balding, fat, and working in d.c. i like being married to my sweet ernst, thank you very much susan b.- i am grateful that i got my appetite back at some point.......

ok, so it is prom time, and this mean mamma is really hacked off about the whole thing. i ordered the corsage, and have given over the check to pay for it. i took in the tux to be drycleaned and borrowed the tie and cumberbund; ernst picked up the tux, and both washed and starched both shirts so that there would be a choice. now that the event happened tomorrow, there is apparently no actual promise that either of us will see him in his tux, nor see him with his date nor see any pictures that may be taken by others who have been granted audience with this pair, who are going to her mother's prom dinner rather than to the one that i am having here at the restaurant. now i can forgive him the prom party, as i am joyfully throwing it in his absense for my 2 indepedent study students and for my server's daughter. but i cannot forgive the refusal of a showing prior to the prom. i don't care how many couples will also be in the car- their parents want to see them too. so what if they have to make 6 separate stops around town before the dance- them's the breaks. i'll keep you posted on this prom sighting thing......

ok so a couple of blogs ago i ranted a bit about sitcoms- but last night i have to admit that i sat and watched that 70's show and grounded for life with my older male adolescent children. of all the subject matter that they could have chosen, condoms was the theme for both shows. on each, the use of condoms was promoted for use by married couples who do not choose to procreate at this time- and the consequences of unprotected sex- read this as a 'we love our children but we don't really want any more' was made quite clear. of course, the premise of the last show- everyone gathered around the closed bathroom door- the 3 kids, grandpa and daddy- while mamma takes the home pregnancy test would never happen in real life. i looked to my sweet boys and inquired if they knew what condoms were for, and urged them to use them as such- prompted looks that could cleave steel beams. the good news is that condom education no longer must rely on liberal health education classes, or progressive physicians, parents etc to promote.
i am not so liberal as to have a fishbowl of them in my home- like centre college has in the health center- but i believe that there use is preferable to their disuse.......

speaking of tom petty- there is a ragged people magazine here at the restaurant- a style issue of sorts- with a photo of madonna touting her fitness through yoga and diet and downright madonnaness... in which she looks like a corss between dwight yocum and tom petty. now, those two are not my idea of an image to which one would choose to aspire- with regards to looks at least. madonna has oft dabbled in crossgender stuff, but this photo makes me unlikely to begin a yoga routine or give up carbs..........

i got my hair cut today after the lunch rush. when my hair is in my eyes, i get really testy to be around- so when i asked if everyone could cover for me while i went in search of a walk-ins welcome hair salon, there were many offers........i got to read the george harrison tribute issue of rolling stone magazine. i enjoyed reading what people like tom petty, elton john, yoko, etc said about the dear departed. george is dear to me not so much because of strong beatles memories, but because i was born on his birthday and felt a special connection to him for as long as i can remember. i actually liked his work on the traveling wilburies album as much or more than most of the beatles or his personal stuff- he seemed to be having a really good time with bob dylan, et al. tom petty recalled the making of the album- that george would hide in the bushes, and behind sofas, etc and video bob dylan any chnace he got- but especially when he was playing guitar or piano- harrison made his own bootlegs of his own personal idol. apparently dylan got a kick out of harrison and his video camera.

the hair cut is passable......

brushes with death leave one shaken but relieved- that's hopw i feel this morning after our family 'brush' with near disaster. andrew complained yesterday morning that he smelled something funny in the basement as he was leaving for school. when ernst went down to check, he opened up the older of the 2 waterheaters, and noticed that sparks were flying, amid water draining out of the motor. he got towels from the laundry room to mop up the mess, only to find flames coming out of the motor at this point. we are so lucky that andrew mentioned the smell, as the flaming water heater was in our little storage cubbyhole with lots of stored books, files, and other flammables- the place could have gone up in smoke. by the time i got home, the plumbers had installed a new element, and the hot water was again functional. whew........

it has just occured to me that ernst and i missed 24 on tuesday night while we visited with our relatives. this is a really confusing and intense show- it has only a few episodes left- i have ahard time seeing a happy ending to it all. of course, the world of television is no longer about happy endings. my prediction about the last episode of ally mcbeal is that she will be left all alone after 5 years of dating and discarding all those mr wrongs. of course, i harbor a secret wish that robert downey jr will show up on the last episode and sweeep her off her feet-the cinderella ending, but he is probably in jail for probation violations so that is unlikely. at this point in my life, i would rather follow along with a good book for 1 or so hours a day than to try to keep up with sitcoms or tv dramas. i do enjoy alias on sunday nights- enjoy sitting with my spouse and watching alias on sunday nights- but mostly don't make time for primetime. i wish i had a nielson rating box so i could destroy the curve.....

whoa,there.....mean mamma has had a brief lapse of reason. she blogs at work because her children are usually using the internet at home during all of the useful hours (read this as mamma does not blog after 11:00 pm because she is asleep). having noted this in cyberink, mean mamma feels somewhat better, and will go on enjoying her early morning blogging while the coffee brews and before she starts in cooking with a vengence.

yesterday was a day from hell- the rain, the rain, the rain.......came down so fast that water starting coming in under the cinderblock foundations in the stockroom, and on into the back dining room where a downtown preservation meeting was taking place- somewhat ironic- as i wouldn't dream of preserving this wretched building. we had to make desparate calls for shop vacs to suck up the water- the wretched landlord took one look at the onslaught and left. on a brighter note- the front dining room windows did not leak now that jerry's dad fixed the roof, a job for which the wretched landlord has not paid him. wretched is my word of the day- thanks to ann silver's sister in boulder, co- hello ann's sister!! i am not nearly as mean as i seem in writing.......

my mother's first cousin, dr. bruce broughton and his wife mary are visiting from arizona. we have not seen them since we took the children to grand canyon the first time on a spring break at least 11 years ago. he was a surgeon on the navaho reservation at the time- now he and his wife are retired. he is the adopted son of my grandfather george broughton's eldest brother harold- the one with polio who became a minister. the family myth was that he was found on harold's parsonage doorstep and that harold moved to a church out of state after the papers were signed so the birth parents couldn't ask for him back. bruce said that this wasn't true- that he had been 2 years old when he was adopted and that he found the birth parents name and address in his parents belongings- he always understood that a friend of his father's had arranged it all. he was quite kind about it all to cayle, telling her that they had this special thing in common.

in the course of the dinner last night, with mother and her sister and her husband and all of us- i am not sure who trys to monopolize the conversation more- mother, or her sister- it was an evening to sit back and marvel. one interesting bit of trivia- one of grandpa broughton's uncles married a black woman- and was basically ostracized from that point on- mother remembers her grandmother broughton telling them that they really didn't want to know what had happened to this uncle. therefore, there are black broughtons walking around this earth related to me through my greatgrandfather. i hope they are better looking than some of the ones i have met.......

ok, so i saw 5- count 'em 5 snakes in my yard yesterday, and i am elated. i am not a snake fancier, nor one of those scary snake handler-bible belt types. i do see good environmental signs in having a healthy crop of snakes. for starts- my yard is nearly pesticide-free(read this as too mean to remember to put pesticide on my plants)- so there are no chemicals to kill off reptiles. secondly, the kinds of snakes we have appear to be the kind that keep down the rodent population- we are not seeing mice in the house these days. the rodent thing is according to ernst- i haven't gotten close enough to these snakes to know what kind they are- ecw says king snakes and i will take his word for it. they are big and long and 3 seem to live together in a commune on the other side of the deck. the others are garter snakes, smaller- who live amongst the rose bushes. as i said, the appearance of healthy snakes must mean that our environment is relatively healthy for us humans. i will feel even better about it if i start seeing frogs- nonmutated frogs, that is.......

we have a mourning dove nesting in our trellis rose bush- poor girl has found a little place among the thorns to nest- you gotta love any mother who would risk so much for her young.

ok, i know that there is already a saint stephan- and many churches named after him. but there lives in danville a saintlier stephan- the one who kindly came into work last night when we got busy after an even busier day without our dishwasher who was at the hospital with his pregnant wife who was in premature labor. our saint stephan is an incredibly persistent worker- who asks what can i do next rather than when can i go home. i am thankful to know him let alone be mean mamma.......

today's agenda involves a derby party for 36, with fried chicken. it seems that i lack the fried chicken gene- i have never fried chicken, i have never witnessed an older female role model fry chicken, and i have never felt an urge to do so in my own home. one time our regular babysitter couldn't sit, so we found a pinchhitter through a friend- he lasted one day there- when she was frying chicken, andrew got too close to the skillet and the flying hot grease burnt his cheek. the sitter laughed it off like he should have known better- andrew wasn't from a frying family so he would have had no clue. i have out all of the central kentucky cookbooks- open to the secret fried chicken recipes. frankly, this whole fried chicken thing makes me a nervous wreck.....

our deep-pockets customer last night (read this drug rep with a mandate to spend his budgeted bucks rather than lose them) was truly annoying. he arrived after many of his clients with the promised wine and beer- in the rain- and handed me several bottles of red and barked at me to chill them as quickly as i could. gentle reader, surely even you know that red wine is best at room temp- or thereabouts- not chilled, which i pointed out as politely as possible- he studied me for a second, probably trying to decide if i would really know such as thing about wine- i knew enough to know that his australian red was probably better than his argentinian red. the whites he bought were already chilled, and he requested that the argentinian white be opened first- rather than the australian one. in my book, a good host leads with his best wine, not his worst..... then he thrusts a bag at me holding new corkscrews- like we wouldn't have one ourselves. he also brought beer, a lot of beer- 2 cases of miller and 2 of bud light, and 3 6-packs of heineken. he seemed interested in putting out the cans of miller and bud rather than the good stuff- we did put it out because this was a crowd that would like that kind of beer. the dinner did go ok, as these dinners go we had to quick make an extra salad and dinner for someone who had been in the bathroom all this time....the rep ordered 30 dinners, and only 19 showed up. the main plate was served about 7:45- at 9:30 as we are about to go home, the rep decides that he wants all of the leftovers wrapped up so he can take them home. they had been long wrapped up in the refrigerator- and he stood there watching while i tried to reassemble boxed dinners from them. yes, he did pay for them, but he was such a jerk in insisting on his rightful property. he actually was crass enough to ask if he had everything that he had paid for.....i thought he was going to go through the refrigerators himself. he then preceded to chase down the doctor who did the presentation at her car and gave her several of the boxed dinners,like he did it all himself, just for her. funny, when we were turning out the lights, i happened upon a 6-pack of heineken that he had somehow overlooked in his zeal to get all of the pork and chicken boxed dinners- i could have run out the door after him to make sure that he had the last of the beer, paid for with his company card.... no gentle readers, i took them home myself......ernst really likes good beer....

i went to a site today called no more tears to cry- maybe that was it- the computer locked up and i didn't get to actually read it- it sounded like just another middle-aged-mother-with-teenaged-children blog. maybe i should find some blogs written by my-children-are-perfect-faced lifted mothers so i can snarl at them. of course, those mothers probably pay for someone to blog for them. because all this typing would damage the pretend nails and expensive chanel enamel. ........

i am giving a prom party for the 2 dhs students who did the indepedent study here last semester, as well as for the daughter of one of my servers. there will be about 18 in the group, including friends and dates. yesterday the mother of one got in my face and asked me if i knew that her daughter's date was black. i knew because she told me, and had to admit such. this mother was embarassed that she was so upset about the race thing- and upset seemingly because i did not pick up the phone to tell her. i didn't tell her because it was of no concern to me- the race thing- she should be more worried that this boy is 22 or so - but i din't go into that because she was so upset. i am not sure what she wanted me to say or do about it. these are nice girls- and i told them they could invite their friends- end of story. i cannot wait until all of this end-of-year stuff is over.......

yesterday was may day- and i had meant to blog about my roses- i had two bushes blooming yesterday. this is quite early for roses, but then it has been quite warm. the first to bloom was stanwell perpetual, which i saw blooming in great splendor years ago at hidcote gardens in the cotswolds. it started to bloom on 4/23/02- probably the earliest that any c-w rose has bloomed. the blooms are tiny, cream-colored, and delicately scented, and i have only a few (reads this as too lazy and mean to fertilize regularly) blooms. therese bugnet bloomed on 4/29/02- and this bush also has only a few blooms- a rosey pink that has a bit of white streaked through. i say blommed, fo course- after the megastrom last night there may be nothing left. andrew, stephan and i watched the multi-warnings on tv, and were overjoyed that the path of the potential tornado veered south of danville. the rain and possibly hail was intense for a time, however. neither will bother my new dawn rose, however, it is already dead, after 20 years i tried to move it and killed it. finding another may take some time....

i went to 'dirty laundry''s blog today- she wrote about how her closet smells of vanilla- even her shoes, which should smell quite poopy.....she cannot figure out where the vanilla smell is coming from. my closet does need some attention. the crate of summer clothes is in the way, but not yet emptied and filled with the winter clothes. i need to sort throught it all, as i wore relatively little of the winter things- read this as cannot get into.....it might be emotionally freeing to just pitch it all to the goodwill and start over with a minimum of well-selected pieces.that would leave room for a few sachets of maybe lavender or rose to scent the remaining clothes. tht sounds too martha- i take it back.......