Monday, February 28, 2005


ok, so you have to give halle berry credit........she actually showed up at the annual razzie award dinner.....where she accepted her razzie for worst performance as an actress in a leading role..for catwoman....and parodied her 2002 oscar acceptance speech (she also brought along her oscar from monster's ball for affect).....and she dragged her agent up on stage and begged him to insist that she read the script before accepting roles next time.......... Posted by Hello i think she showed class and a true sense of humor......

back to book club......

ok, so remember back to my book club last week....that the conversation somehow managed to stray from paris to the right to die cases pending in oregon and fla?.......well, one of the guests present (guest of a member...)...a widow for nearly a year, was reportedly quite upset about our choice of conversation topics and has vowed to never return to our group........this is disturbing to me, as my impression of the evening was anything but morose or inappropriate....and certainly nothing that struck me as callous.......all personal tendencies toward meanness aside.......maybe a year is not long enough for a widow to be able to voice opinions about death and dying........but to accuse close friends of her late husband of being insensitive is going too far.......are we never to speak of him that died....are we to pretend that he wasn't part of our lives, especially before he met and married her........and to suggest that she has the corner on grief is also insensitive on her part.......i may regret these last sentences.......but i am just as hurt at this moment to find out that she has raised a fuss as she might be that we talked of death and dying.......

overheard at work.....

ok, so in the category of i had thought i had heard everything.... is the following statement i overheard today....'it is not illegal to have sex with your girlfriend's mother...'not much one can say in response.......now is there......

poem....

ok, so i liked this poem by robin sarah.......

Riveted

It is possible that things will not get better
than they are now, or have been known to be.
It is possible that we are past the middle now.
It is possible that we have crossed the great water
without knowing it, and stand now on the other side.
Yes: I think we have crossed it. Now
we are being given tickets, and they are not
tickets to the show we had been thinking of,
but to a different show, clearly inferior.

Check again: it is our own name on the envelope.
The tickets are to that other show.

It is possible that we will walk out of the darkened hall
without waiting for the last act: people do.
Some people do. But it is probable
that we will stay seated in our narrow seats
all through the tedious dénouement
to the unsurprising end - riveted, as it were;
spellbound by our own imperfect lives
because they are lives,
and because they are ours.

11:33 pm.....

ok, so we stayed up til the best picture was announced......even though we had seen few of the heavily contested pictures.......i must say that i was annoyed at chris rock's brand of humor......nasty comment made about gwynneth paltrow breast feeding an apple wasn't helpful.....and the comment about oprah being so rich that john kerry was set to propose wasn't either.......oprah didn't look pleased.....and one wouldn't want to cross her, would one?.....great dresses this year.....i really liked cate blanchett's dres.....it did look very 30's......and i also liked julia robert's gown.......whose cleavage was enhanced by breastfeeding of twins.......luckily rock let that one pass without a jibe...julia looked so radiant, which means she must have live-in help with those children........renee zelwegger's dress was so tight she couldn't have breathed nor walk......which made her face look even more puffy and pained.....she always looks like her eyes are swollen shut.......let's see....i forget about the male gender.......jeremy irons wore a getup that resembled high-end nehru ensemble......the coat longish and the shirt not tucked in......what was he thinking.........i was pleased that sideways won for best adapted screenplay......and i also enjoyed the music....beyonce certainly has a range that goes unnoticed in the hip-hop scene.....her duet with josh groban was nice.....as was her piece with the boy's choir singing french.....and then there was carlos santana backing up antonio banderas with the spanish song........the hair was distracting.....but it was very touching......and then yoyo ma playing a cello piece as they rolled the in memorium reel.........ah well......they say a winter storm is a-coming.....and as always.....it it is going to snow...it better snow big enough for a day off.......so i can lounge about and watch oscar-winning dvd's from years gone by......

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Occupancy........

ok, so i just got back from a 4-lap walk around our circle (2 miles, give or take.....) and i feel the need to express some surprise at the things i saw along the way......for starts, let me explain that there are 14 residences along the 1/2 mile stretch.......11 along the creekside and 3 in the middle of the circle........of those, 5 'families' have lived in the same place for 20+ years.......4 are weekend 'places'....as in having a place at the lake and the rest residences that are either new (like my mom's house) or have seen multiple turnover over the years......which brings me to the house nearest the main road.......the fellow who i assume lives there came out in his pajamas with cigarette in hand to get the newspaper as i was finishing up my walk........gentle readers.....note the time of this blog, and share in my disbelief.......i say that i assume that he lives there, because we are not quite sure who lives in this house, save the for the dog and the cat who are always out and about and appear adequately nourished.......it has been suggested that the owners do not actually live in the house fulltime,...that they own it as a cover for their collective children to attend the county schools......that would not be the first time such a thing has happened......one of the weekend places was purchased, according to local rumor, for the very same purpose, but the family in question had a son who played high school soccer, and his switch to the rival team did not go uninvestigated......and he was proved ineligible despite his family name on the mail box out here.......ah well.......ironic in that we are eligible to send our children to the county schools, but send them instead to the city school system........even now i do not think i could identify this illusive neighbor in a line-up.......he looked pretty rough for just having rolled out of bed......and would surely look better after a shower, shave, and a cup of coffee.........

sunday mornings.......

ok, so i teach sunday school every other sunday.......and today is my day......and i am unprepared.....mostly because i do not fully understand paul's convulated prose to the church in rome.......and since i am not likely to gain further insight in the next 20 minutes....i have opted to blog instead.....blogging is the ultimate procrastination.....the most self-indulgent of diversions.......and partially cathartic.......typing one's innermost thoughts would only be totally cathartic if one did not have to live with the aftermath of one's words......there are so many things in this life best left unsaid......regardless of what jerry springer's success might imply........and this sentiment goes both ways.....there are things that i am glad that my family and friends refrain from saying to me.......so we are at a comfortable impass with regards to catharsis........but i digress from sunday mornings.....when i wish that i could just lay about in my jammies for a few more hours....sipping coffee and reading every single newspaper article in both the danville and lexington papers.......that only happens when the weather is perfectly balanced between too icey/snowy for the old people to come to church.....and not so icey/snowy that the newpaper people cannot deliver.........this has happened a few times in recent memory.....and it is delicious to see one's church on the cancelled list that scrolls on the bottom of the tv screen......but the weather is just too bright and glorious today for cancelling services.....and i had best spend a few minutes deciphering text before i put on my church clothes.........

Saturday, February 26, 2005

paint chips......

ok, so i have been to the paint store, and now have 47 different paint chips taped here and there.........all are from a martha stewart collection...the woman does have excellent tastse despite any distractions of late......and now i must decide which color to put where.....and which wallpapered areas to paint instead of repaper......i did find some very nice wallwaper rolls in my garage.......leftovers from past fits of decoration enthusiaam.....including a roll left from the bathroom.......only now i am not so sure i want to use it there........too many choices......especially when i was ok with the way things were.....how about duckbill for the hall/stairwell?.......or maybe rutabaga......i just cannot decide.....

sparkle.......

ok, so my eldest came for dinner last night, with his girlfriend........and after all was said and done we both remarked how his eyes just sparkled.....in the same way they sparkled when he was a toddler....just delighted with everything...smiling for all the right reasons......he simply seems to be THAT happy these days......which makes us very nervous....as this is his first ever relationship and we would hate to see it not work out....for his sake.....someone that pleased with his life should be able to stay content.....though content is a poor word choice i suppose.....this boy is well beyond content......he is still in that enamored state of grace that erodes unfortunately to the state of contentment........so for the time being we are happy for him.....and happy for her who gets to bask in his smile and his sparkle......for as long as it lasts.....

Friday, February 25, 2005

a glass half-full......

ok, so today.....the 49th anniversary of the day in 1956 that sylvia plath met ted hughes.......i have enjoyed several pleasures......i stopped for an egg mcmuffin on the way to work.....i waved goodbye to an annoying workmate......i savored a nap in the sunshine of my bedroom's loveseat...picked daffodils in the sunny secluded area behidn the house...i got a call from my friend gail.....who always remembers my birthday....and we talked nearly an hour about life in general....i was so appreciative to discover that i am not the only mother whose children accuse her of trying to relive her life through them.....wow...this is huge....i thought i was the only one........and now we are almost ready to sit down to roast pork and mashed potatoes and sweet/sour red cabbage........and life is good........of course....i have now 364 days in which to reform all of my decadent habits...lose 15 pounds......do upper body strengthening....read war and peace.....the whole enchillada...so that at 50 i can be....well......as bountiful a 50 year old as possible..........but i will consider those aims just like scarlett ohara.......something to worry about tomorrow......my today is just about perfect.......

we need to get the heck out of kansas, toto.....

ok, so this was on cnn.com this morning....TOPEKA, Kansas (AP) -- The Kansas attorney general is demanding abortion clinics turn over the complete medical records of nearly 90 women and girls, saying he needs the material for an investigation into underage sex and illegal late-term abortions.....gentle readers......these medical records are private...and it was said right to prvacy that afforded women legal access to abrotion in the first place........this could very well 'go all the way to the supreme court'......and let us hope that privacy prevails.......

the emu

ok, so about halfway between work and home, there is a field that has at least 1 emu........and this emu basically hangs out at the corner of the property fence.......and i often think about how to include him/her in a blog........emu at the crossroads?.....emu on ice?........but because my mind grows feeble with age......i forget these intentions by the time i make it home or to work........what must an emu think about when they stand on the confined side of a fence.....gazing out.....here in ky...away from natural habitat, especially on cold days when the puddles in the field freeze over.....how prepared are emus to cross ice.......kind of like the old question...what does a dog do on its day off?.........does the emu have a name....does it get along with the longhorn cattle that share the field.......so many questions........for all i know, that emu is actually keeping a look-out for me.....wondering when the crazy lady in the black honda will drive slowly by.......just to get a better look at me........i wonder why she does that......?

birthday blog....

ok, so i am starting out my birthday with pleasant plagerism........i am always fascinated at what happened on february 25 besides my birth....this is from writer's almanac.....

FRIDAY, 25 FEBRUARY, 2005

Poem: "Snowbanks North of the House" by Robert Bly, from Selected Poems. © Harper Collins. Reprinted with permission.

Snowbanks North of the House

Those great sweeps of snow that stop suddenly six feet
from the house...
Thoughts that go so far.
The boy gets out of high school and reads no more books;
the son stops calling home.
The mother puts down her rolling pin and makes no more
bread.
And the wife looks at her husband one night at a party
and loves him no more.
The energy leaves the wine, and the minister falls leaving
the church.
It will not come closer—
the one inside moves back, and the hands touch nothing,
and are safe.

And the father grieves for his son, and will not leave the
room where the coffin stands;
he turns away from his wife, and she sleeps alone.

And the sea lifts and falls all night; the moon goes on
through the unattached heavens alone.
And the toe of the shoe pivots
in the dust...
The man in the black coat turns, and goes back down the
hill.
No one knows why he came, or why he turned away, and
did not climb the hill.


Literary and Historical Notes:

It's the birthday of painter Pierre (Auguste) Renoir, born in Limoges, France (1841). He began painting when he was 13 years old, first on porcelain, then later painting on fans. He went on to form the style of painting known as Impressionism, along with the painters Claude Monet and Alfred Sisley. Renoir became severely disabled by arthritis starting in 1902, but he continued to paint. By 1913 he was completely crippled, and he instructed his assistants in creating several of his last sculptures. Renoir said, "The pain passes, but the beauty remains."

It's the birthday of novelist and composer Anthony Burgess, (books by this author) born in Manchester, England (1917). He's best known for his book, A Clockwork Orange (1962), but he also wrote many musical compositions, as well as over 50 other books.

Burgess said, "I call myself a professional writer in that I must write in order to eat... But primarily I call myself a serious novelist who is attempting to extend the range of subject-matter available to fiction, as also a practitioner who is anxious to exploit words as much as a poet does."

It's the birthday of English art critic and nun Sister Wendy Beckett, (books by this author) born in South Africa (1930) and raised in Edinburgh, Scotland. She's been a nun for over 50 years, an art critic for almost 20. She's famous for books on art and her television shows on the BBC and PBS where she talks about art in museums around the world in plain, understandable language.

Sister Wendy said, "Many people feel I am not really equipped to understand art, that I am not educated enough to speak to people in elitist languages, but don't you see—that's the point!" Her first book was Contemporary Women Artists (1988).

Sister Wendy surprises her audience with the way she openly talks about sex and nudity in paintings without any embarrassment. She says, "I use the words that come naturally [...] I'm absolutely astonished and bewildered to find people commenting on my delight in a naked body. Never, ever, has anyone suggested that parts of the body were not quite right, that God made a mistake, that they should be passed over. It's appropriate to comment on everything in the painting. I'm not going to deny God's glory by pandering to narrow-mindedness."

Sister Wendy negotiated in her contract that no matter where she is filming, she must go to mass every day. When not filming, she lives in solitude and prayer in a trailer on the property of the convent. All the money she makes from her book sales and her shows go to the Carmelite convent and its hospice for children. Sister Wendy says, "When you are talking about art, you are talking about God indirectly; all experience of art is an indirect experience of God."

It was on this day in 1956 that Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes (books by this author) met in London, beginning one of the most famous literary relationships in modern history. Plath was born in Boston, Massachusetts (1932), and had studied at Smith College, but she was in England studying at Cambridge on a Fulbright Scholarship.

Sylvia Plath (books by this author) met Hughes at a party in a bar, and the next morning she wrote about the encounter in her journal. She spent most of the evening talking to someone else, who she described as, "some ugly, gat-toothed squat grinning guy named Meeson trying to be devastatingly clever." She said the party was "very bohemian, with boys in turtleneck sweaters and girls being blue-eye-lidded or elegant in black." Plath had been drinking a little, and she wrote, "The jazz was beginning to get under my skin, and I started dancing with Luke and knew I was very bad, having crossed the river and banged into the trees..."

Plath said, "Then the worst thing happened, that big, dark, hunky boy, the only one there huge enough for me, who had been hunching around over women, and whose name I had asked the minute I had come into the room, but no one told me, came over and was looking hard in my eyes and it was Ted Hughes."

Plath quoted one of his poems to him, and he guided her to a side room of the bar. She wrote of that moment, "And then he kissed me bang smash on the mouth and ripped my hair band off, my lovely red hair band scarf which had weathered the sun and much love, and whose like I shall never again find, and my favorite silver earrings: hah, I shall keep, he barked. And when he kissed my neck I bit him long and hard on the cheek, and when we came out of the room, blood was running down his face."

Plath composed a poem over the next few days after meeting Hughes. Called "Pursuit," it was a poem about a woman being hunted by a panther and was a response to a Hughes poem called "The Jaguar." Plath spent the night with Hughes and his friend in their London flat right before going on a spring vacation in Europe. When she returned, they spent even more time together, and after seeing so much of each other for a couple of months, they started thinking about marriage.

They got married on June 16th, four months after that first meeting, but it was a secret wedding because they didn't want to jeopardize Plath's fellowship or academic career. The ceremony was in the Church of Saint George the Martyr in London. Plath wore a pink suit, and Hughes gave her a pink rose to hold as she walked down the aisle.

Plath and Hughes spent the rest of that summer in Paris, Madrid, and the small town of Benindorm in Spain. They passed their days swimming, studying, and writing. Plath wrote the poems "Dream with Clam Diggers," Fiesta Melons," and "The Goring" as well as many others while on this honeymoon. Plath told a friend many years later that Hughes had gotten very angry with her during that trip and tried to choke her while they sat on a hill. She said she had resigned herself to die while it was happening, and she worried she had made the wrong decision in getting married so soon after meeting him.

Plath and Hughes decided to separate in 1962, right after they had moved back to England and had a second child. Plath discovered that Hughes was having an affair. She said in an interview that year, "I much prefer doctors, midwives, lawyers, anything but writers. I think writers and artists are the most narcissistic people [...] I'm fascinated by this mastery of the practical. As a poet, one lives a bit on air. I always like someone who can teach me something practical."

Plath committed suicide in 1963 by sticking her head in an oven. Hughes's mistress would also kill herself years later using the same method. Hughes was left in control of Plath's estate, and he edited her poems and controlled what of hers was published and what was not. He once was met on a trip to Australia by protestors holding signs that accused him of murdering Plath. Plath fans trying to chip away the word "Hughes" from her name on the tombstone have repeatedly vandalized her grave in Yorkshire, England.

Thursday, February 24, 2005


ok, so we ended up with 16 people around the table at book club.......a new record......good thing we have very thin friends........ Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

the feeding of the 5000......

ok, so book club was maybe the best ever.....and we ended up with more red wine than we started out with.........because our friends know that i am not a fan of red.....and so they brought red and drank red........and so we have some red left over.......and that is ok.....i can always cook with it........the discussion of the book was stellar.......about hadley....and stein...and fitzgerald.......we somehow ended up on the topic of the right-to0die in oregon and florida......but then uk played at 9:00 so the room cleared.....and that was ok.....because i wanted ot watch alias at 9:00......we are so wimpy as intellectuals......

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


ok, so spring training is here for the redsox......and the first game is 8 days away......with the fire and assorted annoyances i will not be going to any games this season........but i will be following my team as best i can without cable......doesn't that sound so pitiable........ Posted by Hello

a moveable feast.....

ok, so having considered this book for over 20 years...i have come up with new insights in the past week.....reading on-line book reviews from 1964....the new york times has its old reviews available on the web.....so i could actually read criticism from the book's release....as well as a companion piece by the widow hemingway, who edited and published said manuscript........gentle readers.........hemingway's first wife hadley comes off as close to sainthood despite the editing by the 4th wife......and this is a bit of trivia/reality that i was completely blind to all of these years.........hadley is just about the only person, save sylvia beach and ezra pound......to whom hemingway did not seem to have an agenda in his 'memories' of the 20's in paris.....everybody else he knew....gertrude stein, fitzgerald and his wife....joyce.....the lot of them..hemingway goes to great lengths to make sure that we know that these were people to hwom he had some issue not yet resolved.......but his first wife...wow.....she comes off as a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale and corrupt tableau.......not that any of us prefer to be remembered as anybody's first wife in glowing terms or not.......but it does strike me as quite profound that hemingway chose the path of fashionable clothes, expensive hotel rooms, and the smart crowd....everything his first wife was not interested in.......and seemed to regret this path as an older man close to death at his own hand.........ironic that we are discussing a great writer who opted for the gunshot in the same week that hunter s thompson chose the same end.......not that i consider thompson a great writer......but he may end up in hemingway's lauded company and someone who write without regard to public sentiment,......who pulled no punches...even in death........wish me luck....i tend to get so worked up ovee the details of dinner that i drink too much and my family gets upset.......my feast is not necessarily moveable....and this is not paris................

ok, so my table is nearly set for bookclub tomorrow night....this table squeezes in 15......only the back half is visible.....and my unsightly crooked pictures........many of the prints were purchased in the bookinistes along the seine......and several are original photographs and or pen/ink/watercolors/oils/needlepoint pieces...good thing we have thin friends......... Posted by Hello

porch ceiling......

ok, so it appears that i will be receiving a new porch ceiling as a birthday gift.......it is the thought that counts........

You can lead a liberal to logic, but you can't make them think

ok, so this lame line was on a web-blog that connected with mine today....ever so briefly........because the sentiments voiced on his were so opposite to mine they likely repelled...like the wrong ends of a magnet........i am much too tired....and have so much to do to get ready for my book club to entertain rebuttal to this crazy notion.......suffice it to say that said blogger doesn't belong to a book club.......enough said.........

wreckage.........

ok, so were carrying in groceries, when cayle noticed the gaping hole in the ceiling of the porch........omg........looks like in carrying in lumber there was a slight accident.......and now the ceiling of the porch will have to be repaired.....or so it would seem......the contractor who was here today is the same guy who built the porch......and so maybe there is something else going on........and hey... i was able to reassemble the computer.....if you don't look too closely at the tangle of cables in the back........it will have to be moved at least 2 more times before this is over.......so the web of woe will just have to hang on for a few more days/weeks.......there are those, i am certain...who would not rest until every cable was in the correct position.....and the printer was actually hooked back up rather than languishing on the guest bed.......but that sort of person isn't home/doesn't live here...........we are making progress though......slowly........

one last blog.....

ok, so i am home for lunch.......getting ready to dismantle the computer so the workmen can work on the major repairs.........the guy from the cleaners just dropped off the clothing...and took away all of the downstairs drapes........now that they are down...the place looks so bright........and i am in awe of how much space these window treatment take up in the scheme of things.......and i am also in dread of putting them all back up.......that is always the conundrum......the putting back......but that will be for another day.........the floor covering guy showed up....and i was able to select new vinyl for the bathroom and hall in about 6 minutes......there had been a lovely cedar floor in those rooms....that my spouse's grandfather had simply laid on top of the joists....there was no subfloor....and most of it is over an empty cistern...so the cold just comes right through......i am therefore overjoyed that the fire damaged the floor........there is a God...did i mention that today......?

bath products.....

ok, so the REAL fallout from the bathroom fire is starting to make my life complicated.....the loss of my favorite bath and body products has forced me to fall back on 2nd and 3rd string versions.....stuff that was received from well-intentioned loved ones, or a personal purchase that turned out to be a disappointment.....for starts, let me say that there is no shame on the part of the folks who make body creams/lotions/moisturizers......there is such variations on the terms as to be criminal........some are pasty....and some are downright pornographic....and yet they call themselves a cream...is there no industry standard for the term cream.....shouldn't there be somebody whose job it is to sort out the creams from the non-creams.....the lotions from the slimes.........the dewy fluff from the greasy granny goo..........oh, how i miss the bottles and jars that were lost in the flames........the glass-half-full part of this situation is that i am using up products that have languished.....good for the enviornment to recycle the empty containers rather than toss out party used items into landfill.........but that doesn't take away from the lack of pleasure i get from their use...........isn't it all about me?.......

Monday, February 21, 2005

behaving badly......

ok, so i will go on record by saying that if paris hilton were my daughter i would spank her.......well....maybe not, because from the look of things......she would probably enjoy it........and we are able to see far too much of paris these days now that her cellphone/pda/whatever has been hacked and all of her pictures/recordedcalls/phonenumbers have been posted far and wide.......paris.......you give an entire new dimension to the term white trash...at least the little ladies in these parts don't know any better........

blessed are the cheesemakers.....

ok, so monty python had it right....in the life of brian.....blessed are the cheesemakers...for they shall see God.......there are few things on this earth as devine as a good piece of cheese.......savory is the ultimate in tastes.....a sensation oft ignored by those who favor sweet......or sour.....or salty..........but savory....thy name is cheese........and i will take it anyway ot comes....goat's milk, sheep's....cow's..... buffalo....yak....well, to be honest i have never had yak cheese......but i would be willing to try it a la fear factor........yummmmmmmmm

beyond embarassing the children.....

ok, so i have been way too timid with this public display of emotion i call blogging.....obviously i should take this to the next level.....just like these fine ladies..i especially like their upcoming concert...mamapalooza.....gee....i wish i had thought of that.........do listen to their songs and visit their web site.....i particularly like 'eat your damn spaghetti'........

meth........

ok, so this blog goes front and center in the 'i thought i hads seen everything' department........today i had a client who wanted to gain weight.....this is remarkable....as i get few clients who desire to gain weight......and after she left, one of the nurses asked me if i had inquired about illegal drug use......meth in particular.......'didn't you notice that she was so ghastly thin....her skin was so yellow.......that she seemed to have a restless twitch.......did you notice her teeth.........omg......i have never been in the habit of asking anybody if they use meth, let alone getting down to the nittygritty about whether it is inhaled, smoked, or injected.....omg.....and this in noway proves anything.......frankly, i thought her yellow tinge came from badly applied tan-in-a-bottle.......but then again.......

no sympathy...

ok, so this morning i listened patiently whilst the medical professional on duty for our prenatal clinic fussed loudly about partner(s), medical malpractice insurance, medicare/medicaid, general practioners who are now doing their own pap smears, amongst other circumstances that have caused this individual's personal income to drop $120,000 last year.....gentle readers.......for a person to induce a shread of sympathy from me in response to such an admission, it should have included the mention of food stamps, loss of house/home and other signs of impoverishment.....the shear fact that this person wasn't losing anything of value to the repo people.......was still planning exotic vacations........it was all i could do not to laugh aloud........if a person's income can drop by that much money....without much change in visible accutrements........why ask anybody for sympathyn let alone me.........

not on the agenda.......

ok, so i want to make sure, to certain readers in particular, that i have no intention of falling victim to the ocd habits of some of our friends.......that turning 49 will not prompt me to walk 49 miles, or ride 49 miles.....or do 49 laps around a pool, or do 49 situps......or 49 of anything.......well.....maybe a 49 minute nap.....but that would be difficult to orchestrate........i could be forced to take extra minutes of sleep by borrowing from future birthdays......but back to this birthday milestone celebration business......who got this started?.....which of our crazy friends decided that he (and i am quite positive it was a he) had something to prove by running his age?......after a point, this becomes excessive on one's joints and potentially lifethreatening......does one continue on into 80 miles on the 80th..........if need be, i will find subtler ways to mark my personal passing of the years.......what do you say about 49 sips of a decent champagne..........or 49 fresh raspberries........or 49 caviar eggs........49 shrimps seems a bit over-the-top.......49 minutes of extra sleep is sounding less caloric and more desirable................

Sunday, February 20, 2005

birthdays.....

ok, so we have just returned home from an annual event......a birthday gathering to start the birthday week.......we have 2 friends who share my week......in a 15 year spread.......i can still say that i am not yet old.......if old is 50.....but just barely........we dined well with all of our favorite people in lexington......many of whom will travel down for bookclub.........so many offers for taking over bookclub this time around......which means these friends do not REALLY know me......because it would take an act of God for me to skip/defer my annual bookclub dinner.......i am almost done with dinner.......at least with the worst part of onion soup........now if i could only pry the book from my spouse's hands for a bit of review........i have read it at least 8 times...but it may be the 9th reading where the insight gushes down from on high..............

the visit.....

ok, so the annual birth mother visit is over.......every year we declare that we will not allow such a long visit the next time.......and we always forget to set the timeframe before they arrive........the buildup/visit/letdown is always the same.......and we are bracing for the aftermath.......and while we understand that knowing the whereabouts of birth folks is important.......we also have to live through the particulars.......

dreams

ok, so last night i had one of those frustration-themed dreams.....the kind where one is trapped in a no-win situation....and the no-winningness just won't quit........i was taking a math test.....all long word-problems rather than straight equations.....and the teacher had the television on....and the light was dim.......and i was in tears because i couldn't figure out a question about fishhooks in a drawer........and i told the teacher that i would pay him to turn off the tv......at some point i got my stuff and left the room.......how crazy is this?.........what would prompt such a dream.......at least i was clothed....the even more frustration-themed dreams tend to feature a lack of key pieces of clothing.....whew......at least i did not dream about that.......

Saturday, February 19, 2005

a really good cry......

ok, so i had myself a really good cry this afternoon......spontaneous...as good cries tend to be........prompted by the slicing of the 5 pounds of onions necessary for bookclub's soupe l'oignon........5 pounds of onions would make gandhi cry..........so once the tears start to flow.....well......there is just no stopping until it is over........

favorite things.....

ok, so i took my mother to the grocery this morning....she who will not be driving for the forseeable future...and was rewarded by a tremendous 'haul' at the aldi store......many of my favorite things were for sale....and reasonably priced......like 6 peach-colored roses for $2.99......and smoked salmon for $2.99....and fresh red raspberries for $1.89 halfpint.......wow.......needless to say....i am in culinary heaven as i prepare to get on with the business of cleaning closets......not my favorite weekend chore......but one that helps to diffuse my anxiety.......so with a corned beef brisket in the crock pot.....and my mmmixes on the loudest setting......i am good to go.........nobody is here to ask me to turn it down.......

skunks......

ok, so skunk mating season has come around again.....and so now the aroma of skunk briefly replaces the odor of smoke when i walk up to the road to get the newspaper........the smell of the candle...that headshop kind of smell is fading somewhat.....i have plans to cook corned beef and cabbage today, in hopes of replacing all of the above with the strong scent of food....maybe i will start work on my onion soup for book club........a nice onion/garlic undertone would be a pleasant change to what we have now...........yesterday on my way to and from work i couldn't shake faint traces of smoke....i figured out that the satchel i dragged out of the closet to hold all of the stuff i picked up at the conference was the culprit.......the fabric had absorbed soot/smoke...alas this is unwashable.......i may have to throw it on the funeral pyre that i have in mind for those things that cannot be purified any other way......but that would involve yet more smoke.........must be another......non-aromatic way.........or maybe the skunk needs a nice big black satchel.....he probably can't smell anything under the circumstances.......

Friday, February 18, 2005

pain....

ok, so the topic of pain...and pain relief is in the news these days......i had a client beg me for tylenol to calm her migraine this morning........and i was mildly amused that she turned up her nose at my lone bottle of aspirin in my drawer.......aspirin is the original pain killer.....and yet there are those who spend lots of ready cash and insurance dollars on more sophisticated drugs that work in different ways toward the same end......pain relief......yesterday....my left wrist and hand was in absolute and outrageous pain.......probably arthritis....and i took 2 aspirins and went to bed.....and woke up just fine......i choose aspirin despite the stomach-bleeding business...because there are so few worstcase side effects...like liver damage...or heart attacks..........but there are lots of people who prefer vioxx or the like because of joint pain........and i believe they have the right to choose for themselves...pain versus heart attack....because pain is so personal as to defy description..........nobody has the right to legislate pain relief.........

mean for more than a quarter century.....

ok, so i have been reading through a collection of old notebooks and letters.......these surfaced in my mad race to tidy up before the professional cleaners arrived.......and i am in amazement just how mean i was to certain men i went out with at one time or another........mean may be too harsh a descriptive......but at least three of the letters from three different gentlemen (from a time span between beginning college through grad school) complained that 'it was my turn to write'......or words to that effect.....which must have meant that i was blowing them off...more by lack of response rather than the direct 'i don't care to hear from you again' manner..........on the other hand there is a touching letter from my first 'love' explaining why he wasn't coming 'back' to me even though he had broken up with my ex-best friend....the one he left me for......got it?.......there was also mention of my needing to grow up.....that much is still true, i suppose....by the way, this guy works in dc as a career civil servant.....his letter was so smooth a blow-off that all these years later i am happy for him rather than hurt for myself.......but back to the need to grow up......i am not nearly as careful of the feelings of others as i could be, should be and desire to be......the letters are not nearly as painful to read as the notebooks, which contain sincere attempts at song lyrics,poetry......diary entries......impressions written under obvious intoxication......addresses for people of which i have no memory.......notes from classes......i did like the list of medicines that will kill staph aureus........i am sure that there are many more drugs available now than were available then....a listing of all of my sweaters.....curious why i would make such a list......there were program plans for an event at the group home for mentally retarded adults that i did for my graduate project....that led to me meeting my spouse, actually......in my notes there was a listing of disabilities specific to current residents of the home.....2 with down syndrome....1 with cerebral palsy....etc......interesting to read through it now.......there was a poem written TO me by a really strange admirerer.......this stuff is all pre-1980.......makes me wonder what i have done with letters and notebooks after that......or did i just stop writing down such thoughts until i began this blog.......i did have a minor epiphany when reading these old 'notes to myself/notes from myself'......that my mother probably read every one of them before she passed them along to me.....and this would explain my children's desire for me NOT to read their prose/blogs/emails........some things just are that private.........

firefox....

ok, so firefox, as a browser......is really driving me crazy......i cannot open hotmail in firefox for some reason....and i cannot publish this blog either....at least on a reliable basis.......at least 2-3 times a week i have to copy and paste over to microsoft explorer's browser.....where publishing takes seconds........who knows why?

fridays.....

ok, so due to the state employee worktime policy...i will be done with work for the week today at 12:00 noon...when one counts my travel time to and from lexington over three days......and this is just fine with me.....well......almost fine.....as my mother has got wind that friday afternoons may be the perfect time for me to drive her places or just run errands for her.......but i should have enough time left over to lounge about.....read a little....nap a little.....and basically recall just how wonderful my new life is...despite details to the contrary..........

Thursday, February 17, 2005

cleaners

ok, so the cleaners were here for a second day......and i am now baffled on just where they cleaned.......it appears to me that they have just streaked the walls and ceilings........soot in ribbons rather than in evenly distributed spray........maybe this just a dance they must go through before the decision is made to repaint........whatever is done must be done before or after wednesday.....my annual bookclub dinner....this year is a movable feast.......and i cannot wait......as for the cleaners.....they are reported to al be smokers....and were seen lighting up as they pulled out of my drive.....how ironic........

ok, so in looking for that glass half-full......i decided that a cup would do......it seems that coffee may be preventive against liver cancer.........wow.........here's to lots of coffee.....though after 12 noon it better be decaf...... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

a tale of woe.....

ok, so there are some tales of woe that one cannot tell about.....trust me...this tale is as woeful as they come.........

ok, so lance armstrong will ride the tour de france in july in search of his 7th straight title.......it is inaccurate to say that this will be his 7th tour....as he rode several before he got sick....didn't win...but rode........the business of his comment about not being in top form is bogus.....lance doesn't do anything unless he thinks he has already won......he is just playing cat and mouse with the competition....... Posted by Hello

flashbacks......

ok, so i seem to be having flashbacks.....brought on by smells.......i stopped at a card shop after my lexington workshop wrapped up its second out of three days.....to find brithday cards for all of my favorite people born the last week of february.......a 'school' of pisceans........and as card shops go....they also sell candles.....and the smell of insense/spicey candles made me physically ill........because it smelled so much like the odor that lingers from the candle-incinerated bathroom........of course....now that i am home...and the cleaners have streaked the soot across the walls and ceilings....the smell is of industrial-strength orange....and it may just be worse.........

spring training.....

ok, so the redsox report for spring training tomorrow....or so the countdown clock on their website alludes.......in approximately 1 day 5 hours.....you get the picture......no big news out of their camp...not like the yanks....who have gone to great lengths to show support for giambi....who should be back at first base.......and then they feel obligated to crow about randy johnson who will join their pitching rotation.........the only good thing about this spring training is that those blokes cannot brag about last season.......

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

retirement......

ok, so i ran into my around the corner neighbor at the workshop in lexington....they guy who retired from state work only to take another state job after the required waiting period........today he announced that his wife will retire from her state job......and he was tight lipped on whether she would do the same with a double-dip sort of job...or if he would just retire a second time....and the both of them just lounge about on the lake........hmmm........i am not so sure about retiring to lay about at the lake.......as traditionally lake dwellers who retire early tend toward dissipation of one sort or another....from boredom as much as anything else.......and heaven knows i have no more need of that then than i do now......

oh, your beautiful bathroom......

ok, so my youngest sister-in-law has always been one of my favorite people, but she has solidified her position with a sweet email.......that included the reference to 'my beautiful bathroom'......yes, it was.......and i am still in denial phase, i suppose...over the loss.......maybe because when the anger part i know i have nobody to blame but myself.......and i a may just blow off the wallpaper part and go with paint that complements the french posters/prints.......maybe they won't be able to clean the little chair that sat in the corner...and insurance will pay to have it reupholstered

Monday, February 14, 2005

the grammys......

ok, so i sat up last night and watched the grammys.....just because, i suppose....i was not even sure who would perform.....and i was surprised at the level of spectacle offered.......i especially enjoyed the tribute to janis joplin by 16-yearold joss stone......who pranced in tie-dye and wavey tendrilled hair....and truly sounded like janis at her acid-test best......in a duet with melissa etheridge....who played a mean guitar whilst quite bald from recent chemotherapy for breast cancer......and she, too.....can manage the janis-quality raspy blues sound.......i enjoyed their piece immensely.....as i enjoyed bonnie raitt and billy preston's tribute to ray charles........and the u-2 piece.......i did enjoy the pieces by maroon-5 and franz ferdanand......and i wanted to like john mayer's piece.....but it seemed a tad lame to me.....and i was happy to see led zepplin int he audience....their to accept their 'hall of fame' or whatever status as a rock group.......and so today i am really tired.....my body can no longer stay up til 11:30 without ill results......

feeling sorry for myself.......

ok,so i am feeling sorry for myself......not so much about the fire...but because i have to go a conference for the next 3 days with the person from work that i like the least.......i have so far avoided the 'let's ride up together'....
..conversation......she doesn't live in the same county.....but there is the unfortunate..'let's go to lunch together'.....and i do not think i can do 3 days of that.......and so i plan to have errands to run tomorrow......i will plan to have lunch with my eldest on uk campus......even though i know full well he has class.......and then maybe on thursday i can meet a 'friend' for lunch.....maybe my friend leslie the lawyer from bookclub......heck...i might actually call her and try to arrange it because that would be fun........either way......i have am hoping to manage to not even sit with this person.......she is the 'in your face' kind of talker.....and that can be tolerated only for the first 5 minutes........ah well......

mental diversions......

ok, so as a way to cope with this insanity i have become obsessed with finding the english lyrics to viss d'arte...a lovely aria from tosca.....with google searches one finds out merely which opera companies include dual lyrics flashed below or above the artists as they perform......as well as critical dismay at this practice.....there are also reviews of artists...and how they did or did not execute said lyrics well....oh my....why can one find lyrics to bob dylan songs on the first try,...but not classical opera.....especially such a famous piece.......this is very vexing....i simply want to know what i am listening to when i hear stafford's cd......is she asking for the trash to be taken out......or for expressing her undying love..........that is the deal with my lack of ear for foreign language.....it could be either or both...as i hear it....

Sunday, February 13, 2005

homeland security

ok, so a lady in my sunday school class had a letter recently from the homeland security people that went something like this.....it has come ot our attention that your driver's liscense name is not the same as your social security name........and she was given a deadline during which to make the necessary adjustments.......yes.....when she married....she dropped her first name (mary.....she used to be catholic....) and added her new last name...keeping her maiden name as her middle name and moving her old middle name up to her first name.......got it?......we all marveled that this cleaning up of names....going so far as to add the mary back into the mix....was so valuable to the protection of our interests here at home..........

ok, so this pastel drawing of a shell was found inside the lid of a talbots box that otherwise contained art supplies...back from when i tried to do pen and ink stuff....the pastels that used to be in the box are no longer there....hmm.....any way...i didn't so this drawing....and scw claims to have no memory of it....and the eldest wasn't sure...but really couldn't remember it either.......and so the conumdrum.......i may try to frame it as a fun memento of these bizarre events....for without the fire...and the need to clean before the cleaners come....i might not have found it....... Posted by Hello

the clock.....

ok, so now that the shock of the housefire has worn off....i am in the midst of lining up replacements.....and that bring sus to the clocl....that used to sit on the plant shelf above the bathtub.......a small rosewood clock that i bought with a gift certificate from deedra years ago......and it was in the line of fire...so to speak......and it was literally toasted........so that all that remained was the metal workings......and now that i am trying to find another one just like it........there really aren't any ust like it...at least online.......this one was round and upright......there are 'engravable'gift clocks that are taller and oval....or flat and inside a box and more resemble a compass......nope.....not at all like mine......i understand that i may just have to make so with less/different/oval.....but i am not yet willing to throw in with the ovoid clocks just yet......

Saturday, February 12, 2005

the soprano.......

ok, so while we were eating chinese carryout with my youngest child's birth mother...and her husband...and our eldest and his girlfriend.......we were listneing to stafford.....on cd...singing arias from verdi.....as well as a selection from porgy and bess........and many others that we aren't cultured enough to recognize........she has such a mature voice......one that we would never have picked out as from a 17-yearold throat....wow........she already sounds world class to us.........

ironies......

ok, so last week, before the fire....i was all set to buy myself a little gift.......some lavender bath products from l'occitane..they have wonderful candles and bath salts and lotions.........but i was interrupted and didn't get back to the task at hand........and so it is probably good that i didn't get the order placed.....since only the good lord knows when i will enjoy my next hot bath........and it will be a stretch convincing the insurance people that i actually HAD said bath products in the basket that completely burned.......i didn't....but the products that were there were bath gels and they make too many bubbles.....with a whirlpool bath too many bubbles takes away from the pleasure of scent, heat, and swirling water.....that is the beauty of bath salts....aroma without the annoyance of bubbles.....so i will wait for said order until the new bathtub is in....and the walls are repaired....and the window is replaced......and make do with a quick shower in the meantime.......those bathgels might have come in handy in the shower.....but since they are basically toast at this point....i am out of luck

hp........

ok, so i was diverted when i read of carly fiorini's ousture (is that a word?) from hp...the tech giant......and then amused to read that she is leaving with a severance package that includes $14 million in cash.....gentle readers.......this is hysterical.....that a company would reward someone for doing a poor job........for alienating board members, upsetting stockholders....trashing the stock value......laying off legions....all the while setting herself up in some sort of media-darling campaign that got her on the list of 100 most influential people......gee.....i believe that if the job were offered to me......i could at least do all of those things AND leave for far less than $14 million.........in far less time than it took her to do so........i'll leave my phone free, at least for today...in case an offer comes in......

ok, so this was online about christo...NEW YORK (Reuters) - Christo and Jeanne-Claude, the husband and wife team whose $20 million art project "The Gates" unfurls in Manhattan's Central Park on Saturday, know that their large, fanciful, short-lived public art works puzzle many people.

That is why, for the 16 days "The Gates" is on display, some 300 uniformed monitors will be ready to answer questions, stationed among the 7,500 large saffron cloth panels hanging in similarly colored 16-foot high door frames closely spaced along 23 miles of park walkways.

"The usual question is, what is it for?" Jeanne-Claude told a news conference on Friday. "And they will know to answer, 'Oh, absolutely nothing, it is only a work of art."'  Posted by Hello

ok, so i just love this ring.....though i am more fond of gold than of platinum......but i wish that in detailing the origin as merely 'from the royal collection'...or something equally as vague.....they would have given more of a pedegree.......who designed it...who used to own it.....unless that was the point in NOT releasing that info....maybe it is too hot to handle media-wise.....in which case it would have been even more interesting...like something that victoria's son bertie gave to one of his paramours......now that would be something i would find fascinating......... Posted by Hello

reprint.....

ok, so this article was printed thursday in the daily princetonian....i have tried unsuccessfully to forward it to friends.....here it is....just in time for valentine's day...

Thursday, February 10, 2005
The gift that keeps on giving

Ben Eachus
Guest Columnist

Sure, diamonds might get you laid. But what happens when she finds out that her new best friends are really cubic zirconia? Don't risk the embarrassment this year. The quickest way to a woman's heart is a gift she will never forget, a gift she can't return: nothing.

Men plan to spend an average of $125.96 on Valentine's Day — the cost of about seven cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon. In my 21 years, I have seen good friends splurge on pastel Longchamp bags, boxes of Godiva and romantic dinners at the Olive Garden. All of these relationships have since failed, due in no small part to the unimaginative gifts exchanged on Valentine's Day. After all, anyone can buy items listed in a gift-giving guide.

But you are more creative than that. The best gifts are the ones that are the most unexpected. In a relationship, the gift of nothing is the most surprising of all.

Just ask my mother. In 2000, when asked what she wanted for Christmas, my mother said, "I have everything I need. I really don't want anything." My father, always aiming to please, got her just that. And indeed, when she first realized that she was actually getting nothing — my popsicle stick picture frame notwithstanding — my mother was quite surprised. "You got me nothing! I can't believe you got me nothing. Absolutely nothing?"

Visibly panicked, but never losing his cool, my father reached into his pocket and took out a wad of cash. "But we agreed not to exchange gifts, didn't we? How much do you need to get yourself something?"

Today we all laugh about it. Okay, I laugh about it. And although my father purchased my mother approximately eight pounds of gold jewelry and a traffic-stopping Nativity Scene the next year, the Christmas of nothing will always be the most memorable. Isn't making memories what holidays are all about?

I know purchasing nothing seems like a risky move, a surefire way to destroy a relationship. Admittedly, when she first finds out that you got her nothing, a few phone calls might go unreturned and you might even be burned in effigy. Compared to the alternatives, though, nothing is the safest choice.

Just imagine what can go wrong when purchasing even the simplest, most traditional Valentine's gift: a box of chocolates. If you get the heart-shaped box, it will look like you are coming on too strong; opt for a rectangular box and you might as well buy a carton of Ben and Jerry's and watch Pretty Woman in your pajamas because the romance is dead. But the problems don't end there. What if you decide on chocolates that are compatible with the South Beach and the Zone but not with the Atkins? Last year I was accused of thinking a friend was fat because I bought her low-fat chocolates. Our relationship has never been the same after I told her that she was correct.

Always remember that strong relationships are built on trust. Don't lie and tell her you didn't think Valentine's Day was in February this year. Tell the truth: "I love you. I had enough time and money to buy you a present, but this year I wanted to give you the most special Valentine's Day ever. So I got you nothing." Trust me, she will thank you..

After all, it's the thought that counts.

Friday, February 11, 2005

for the record....

ok, so for the record.....this is blog 2226.......the counter hasn't worked for months....and since i don't keep a mental tally....i had no idea that i passed by 2000 some time ago.......enough words for a novel....just not in any serious sequence...........

just go ahead and beat me senseless....

ok, so i would rather take a beating than to spend another perfectly good afternoon browsing through wallpaper stores......omg.......unless one is fond of chickens and roosters....nascar......and curiously....monkeys........then there is no wallpaper for you in danville......and obviously my preferred colors are out of synch with the rest of the populus......terracotta, celery, amber........this will just be more painful than i ever dreamed..........i am emialing the on-line wallpaper people to send samples......maybe my first peaks were the best ones.......

just go ahead and beat me senseless....

ok, so i would rather take a beating than to spend another perfectly good afternoon browsing through wallpaper stores......omg.......unless one is fond of chickens and roosters....nascar......and curiously....monkeys........then there is no wallpaper for you in danville......and obviously my preferred colors are out of synch with the rest of the populus......terracotta, celery, amber........this will just be more painful than i ever dreamed..........i am emialing the on-line wallpaper people to send samples......maybe my first peaks were the best ones.......

Thursday, February 10, 2005


ok, so i had a brilliant revelation.....the cleaners might just locate the missing christmas/birthday book........i might just have to offer a reward to the cleaner who finds the conundrum volume.............lord knows i haven't been able to find it...........too bad it can't be a tax deduction under compromised mental health....... Posted by Hello

ok, so this is the border that goes with the book wallpaper for the computer room.......i like the little chinese guys that lurk in the backround.......no harm meant to any chinese readers........ Posted by Hello

ok, so i am thinking about this paper for the computer room, which is just off the bathroom........it looks scholarly.........eh? Posted by Hello

ok, so i am thinking about this wallpaper for my bathroom...it has a nice classical look...though i wish that the value was a few shades lighter.......... Posted by Hello

you mean you are still living here?........

ok, so the next person who asks me if/why we are still living here......why we haven't decamped to a hotel/condo/resort while the repairs are done....and boarded the dogs........omg.......we are the folks who lived here through far worse........when there was literally no roof....back when we added the second floor.....and it rained so hard that the light fixture filled up with water......even while the lightbulb was burning.....and we certainly stuck it out through the old furnace blowing up.....and we ares till married after numerous repaints/replasters/repapering jobs........we just aren't the type to move out.........especially when it is mostly soot and a toasted 3rd bathroom.....now.....we'd be singing a different tune if it was the ONLY bathroom........

wallpaper

ok, so now that i have reconciled myself to the loss of two wallpapered rooms.....wallpaper that i really really like...i have to find replacements....and wallpaper hunting is an ugly task.......there are so many undesirable wallpapers out there.......and i mean heinous at it's worst........having to find wallpaper isn't even as fun as wanting to find it......i have searched on-line.....and discovered that i could have a u.k. bathroom...or an osu one....or a redsox motif....if i was living alone...that is......or i could have an outhouse theme....there are pages of the stuff.....omg......it is so scary what is available.........and so i have to decide if i want to keep my walls the same color....or change them.........again........it is more fun when it is my idea than when it is not..........and in the end i will probably end up with stuff that looks vaguely like what is already here.......and that is ok........

faites bouillir 1 litre d'eau

ok, so i decided that today was the day i used the packet of mystery soup i bought in paris...i think it is cream of watercress....or maybe just cream of green.......but you never know with my french.....and i assume that the soup is mixed into the boiling water...and simmered.....but i cannot really read the directions......wouldn't have followed them at any rate.......i'm not the direction-reading kind......soup sounded good on this 'sick' day at home....not much of a stretch...as the smoke created such a histimine response that i awoke with my eyes just about swollen shut and my sinuses clogged to the point that my jaw teeth ache.......and this house is sooooocold during the day...it is programmed that way to save on energy when we are not here....and when i finally figured out that the setting was too low i gave myself the gift of 3 degrees........heck...i'm the one who pays the electric bill anyway......the guy from the restoration/cleaning service won't be here until 3:00...so after the soup....i may just try to take a nap......the radon room downstairs may be the best bet.....as the basement is the least affected by the fire......smoke rises rather than sinks....the restoration guy mentioned quoting the repainting....now that could be the silver lining in this tale of woe......the hall and the stairs really needed to be painted.....and we hadn't gotten around to it...imagine the thrill of having somebody else do the work......we are such do-it-yourselfers...but i believe i could just sit back and let others do the dirty work........

the wedding of the century....

ok, so charles is finally going to marry camilla....in april...in the intimate saint george chapel in windsor castle......and i say that it is about time.......they have been together for over 25 years......if you consider that charles was unfaithful with camilla behind his wife's back from before they actually married in 1981 til their divorce........i liked diana's quote....there were three of us in that marriage....and it got a little crowded.....and so with diana dead and gone.......charles might as well go on and marry camilla.....and live out his life in some sort of peaceful bliss.....now that we know that the fairytale wedding of the last century was nothing short of a global media hoax..

the new 'f' word.......

ok, so i awoke to the pervasive smell of smoke......and the the horror that the smell of smoke will not be easily erased from this house........it is everywhere......just like the soot has settled in the least likely of places.......were it not for too many glasses of wine i might not have slept at all last night.....fearing that the fire was not really out....frankly, i cam see us as modern day lady macbeth's.........only this is much more soaked-in than can be washed away with 'out, out damn spot'......omg......gentle readers.....please be aware, that even when i have ceased to blog about this fire...i am thinking about it while i blog......and i predict that this near-death experience will remain at the forefront of my psyche for quite some time.......

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

the red tablets......

ok, so do you remember the red tablets that came with the toothbrush that the public health nurse passed out at asembly.......when she double dared you to chew these tablets after you brushed.....so you could see just how pitifully you actually cleaned your teeth....and how much plaque remained?.......well......i am here to tell you that after a fire....every bit of grease/dirt/debris that graced your surfaces becomes soot-laden.....every cobweb you hadn't seen in the am becomes neon-lit by the time the ladder truck leaves......and so we have become obsessed......i should say I until my spouse actually speaks to me again..........the computer was saved.....curiously....not 8 foot from the flames......because the door between the bathroom and the hall was partially shut.....the contractor who put in the tub will be here at 9 to give us the estimate on the reconstruction..........that is what is nice about a small town.....what is not nice is that the fire department's run to our house WILL be news.....and i will have people ask me about this for months after the damage is repaired.......again....i am so lucky that the fire marshall is a lake-dweller....and that he stayed out here after his first wife died........and that he was on his way home or just gotten home when the call came and he just inched his way around the bend til he found our driveway........we are so lucky........when i called my mom...up in ohio...and told her of the events.....her unfortunate response was as follows......'you remember that at our wedding my veil caught on fire.....well....it took a year before i could really go to sleep without worrying that the house would burn down'...thanks mom.....i needed that..........

counting my blessings.....

ok, so i arrived home just in back of the fire marshall.....who lives right around the corner....and just after my middle child got the dog out of the smoke filled house.....and long before the ladder truck arrived.......i had stopped at the kroger to buy the ingredients for quiche.....and was not the first home.....stephan had been the first on the scene....and had heard the smoke alarms before he ever opened the door....and he tried to use his cell to call 9-11...but we do not have cell service unless we are on the road, or at the dock...not actually in our house......and so he crawled into the smoke-filled house to get the kitchen phone...and the old dog......and he walked with the portable around the side, and saw orange flames.....so when he called 9-11 they must have thought the place was going to blow with some sort of chemicals...anyway........at one point, stephan and i and the fire marshall/neigher named bud were standing on the porch....and we all went back in, along with my mom's crazy dog......and i took the dog's water pan off the porch and threw it on the fire....the fire that was consuming my bathroom.....my jacuzzi tub bathroom.....my tribute to french culture bathroom.....my wintering the plants over bathroom.......omg.....it took 3 tubs of water, in addition to bud throwing water from the sink.....and of course....it appears that it is basically my fault.....a candle i used 2 days ago had smouldered.......and now the fiberglass bathtub is unusable....the window above it is shattered....the plant stand is toast.......as are most of my plants......bath supplies.....and the basket that held them......and the window sill........i do not know if my treasured poster from lyon or my print of french coffee cups are ok.......the floor may be toast...it is vintage cedar put in by my husband's late grandfather...the guy who built this place years ago........and so the fire truck came....the firemen in their getups.....the whole nine-yards.......and i called my spouse in shock...and he closed the store and came home too.....and so here we are...with a bathroom in shambles...but lucky to be alive....and to have so little harm done compared to what could have happened.......of all the days when i really could use a beer and a bath.....

sharon?...sharon?...sharon?

ok, so while i was on the computer in the lab at work...printing out pediatric nutrition info......there was a message left on my cell phone.......sharon?...sharon?...sharon?.....this struck me as quite ironic...as just last night my middle and i were tlaking about gertrude stein and her penchant for repetition......maybe the caller is a steinite.....and maybe her message should be taken as poetry?..........or maybe she just didn't get the message to 'leave me a message'...was from somebody named kathy and not somebody named sharon........which means that she may just be stupid.......there is always that possibility.....

quiches.....

ok, so the e-mail from my youngest child's french teacher was reasonable......woudl i be willing to make and send 2 quiches for the class 'french food day' on thursday......the teacher is a former travel-mate......i have been to france with her more times than i have been with my spouse.....and i can hardly refuse her.....except that i have not made quiches since my last day at trc......and i had kind of hoped not to ever make them again......not that there is anything wrong with quiche....i used to enjoy a nice spinach one...or lorraine version.....but making 2-3 a day for 4 years kind of takes the flavor out of the custard...so to speak......and i never seem to crave that particular savory concoction these days.......and so i will throw them together tonight...might even look up a recipe to check my memory on the ingredients and ratios there-in...and i am certain that i will live through the experience........maybe there are support groups for ex-chefs like me.........

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

pride and prejudice......

ok, so my middle child is to read p&p for ap english.....and it is killing me that his teacher considers himself the expert on the subject.......and so i want to guide readers, as they read....to look out for certain themes that this guy may miss....such as........the posibility that charlotte lucas was gay......and married mr collins as a marriage of convenience.......and that mr collins is one of the most deliciously adsurb characters ever described in novel form.......bombastic from the get-go.....and totally unaware of his own ridiculousness......and the anne de bourgh.......as the anticlimax of all that was considered desirable in a proper wife...a counter-point to jane and elizabeth bennett...the comsumate ideal spouses....and mrs. bennett....the worst-case scenario for a mother-in-law.....and mr.bennett......a guy who would have chosen early senility if it were in his power.....was austen a comedic novelist?.....or merely satirical?.....the more i read her i am nto sure which...or either......could she have intended to be so insightful into the lives of us in 2005?................ah...this is one of my favorite books......my eldest barely read the book....but still scored a 5 on the ap test because he had overheard the 6 volume a&e version so many times.........i am partway through on my own umpteenth reading......i hear it calling me now.......

passings....

ok, so the father of one of my oldest friends passed away today.....in albequerque, new mexico.....from a heart attack....my mother's prime reason for recovering from her shoulder surgery was to go out and visit this man.....who lost his wife a bit earlier than i lost my dad........this fine fellow was not actually our family doctor....though we all knew him as doc......he had a passion for photography.......and took my wedding pictures as a gift....they were all yellowed...because he chose a curious speed...but i treasure them nevertheless.......my middle child is the amy blanche h. of his class.......she was the valedictorion of my graduating class...national merit finalist...i was a far-flung also-ran in her wake.........she graduated with honors from bryn mahr...amd went to med school as her father's legacy......she was in med school when i was in grad school in cincinnati....and we did get together several times.......with her partner........and i was pleased to inherit the no-longer-needed baby boy clothes that she and her partner no longer needed when they gave up on donated-sperm fertilization......and i was sad to learn that she and her partner went their separate ways.........when she moved to albequerque....in some ways my mom is as upset with doc's passing as she was with my dad's.....his passing was a relief.....while doc's is the end of a mission........now she will have to come up with another place to go as an end to rehab.........she and i have that in common...the need for a desistination.......maybe she will go anyway.......included as a stop on her other favorite-people places...boulder to see the couple she and my dad finished OSU with.....and texas to see her childhood friend at an army base in the south........and as for me.....well.......i am flattered that my old friend thought to leave me a message on my machine after all these years........i will keep her in my prayers......

mardi gras....

ok, so mardi gras snuck up early this year......what with easter early as well.......i have been looking into dates of these events.....in preparation for my birthday bookclub......hemingway's a moveable feast.......all feasts associated with easter are moveable feasts...as the timing is related directly to easter...and easter's timing is complicated......hence.....mardi gras is 48 days prior to easter.......and can be in february or march depending on easter's date........for the record, mardi gras will be on my birthday in 2020.....should my bookclub last that long we will have plenty to celebrate......

on the bubble.....

ok, so i am embarrassed that the years in ky have sucked me this far into basketball that i went so far as to read this article with some level of interest.....the ncaa seeding for march madness are such a big deal here.......and the fact that uk is not now picked to be a #1 seed is vexing, despite their sometimes lackluster play.......one still expects tham to be a #1 seed.......

urban renewal

ok, so on my way to work i pass several 'construction sites'.....one in a residential neighborhood that has a mixture of large older homes, and small bungalows......and i am curious as to the nature of the building that will be going into the lot......a very small lot......it looks to be the kind of place one might locate a habitat home.....we shall see......regardless.....i am interested in the design that will go in......and hopeful that it will blend in with the surrounding structures........danville is dotted with unfortunate design choices.......styles that may have sounded progressive at the time but turned out to be mistakes...........certainly not like a f.l.wright home that glows with style amongst the aging painted ladies or similar 3 story relics of times gone by........i could find out, i suppose....through targeted inquiries...but i have not the level of interest that would prompt actual phone calls....not like my neighbor who called me at work yesterday to give me an update on her investigation of a property transfer on our circle that was recorded in sunday's newspaper.......the property transfers are one of the first things people look up....right after the obits and the court news......anyway.....there was a sizeable bank-to-bank transfer listed......and since nobody has had a for-sale sign up....we were curious....and my neighbor was so curious that she has called all over town looking for particulars.......i am in awe of her deligence.......she has promised to call with the results asap.......maybe when she finds out whose property has sold......i will mention the lot on my way to work........

change in the lineup....

ok, so i am NOT reading Gilead right now.......2 of the 3 paperbacks i had ordered by the author Raymond Queneau arrived yesterday......and i could not resist launching into at least one of them...i have started with Sunday in the Life, published in english in 1951.....but certainly the story dates back til a time when soldier wore the flat 'kepi' style of hats........i cannot divulge any of the plot.....as my child who would prefer to read the book en francais has requested a moratorium on any discussion until the time when said books are located in the original language......and this is a shame...because so far the book in question is funny in the ways that Lolita was funny.......lots of wordplay and absurdity......and somehow i can see the movie made from it on the screen as an indie lowbudget production.....not that a film has been made...but that it reads like an arthouse film......and i am laughing aloud.....which i also prefer in books whenever possible......a good read with humorous undertones.......

Monday, February 07, 2005


ok, so this woman is my new hero.....FALMOUTH (Reuters) - Ellen MacArthur has become the fastest person to sail solo round the world, completing her gruelling journey in just over 71 days and 14 hours and smashing the record set last year.

"It has been an absolutely unbelievable voyage, both physically and mentally," an exhausted MacArthur said from her trimaran after crossing the finishing line off north-western France late on Monday. "It will take some time to recover."

Her time of 71 days, 14 hours, 18 minutes and 33 seconds shaved more than 32 hours off the previous world record set by Frenchman Francis Joyon, who smashed the previous mark by 21 days in what had been described as the perfect sail. Posted by Hello

easy answers......

ok, so there are days when i like the answers to be self-evident......no need to put on the thinking cap.....nothing out of the ordinary that requires sherlockholmesian investigative skills.......and so today was my redletter day.....the client whose mother called all worried about the daughter's weight loss diet....and her subsequent hair loss....turned out to be an easy answer.....when the girl walked in and she had her hair tied in a ponytail so tight that the skin around her eyes kind of listed backwards.......'when did your daughter start wearing her hair in a ponytail?.....i asked, after dutifully noting a 24-hour list of all foods injested.......maybe a week, you say......and i pulled out the downloaded list of reasons why women lose their hair.....and tension-related hairstyles was near the top of the list......then the mother started in on why she was worried that her daughter was losing so much weight.........170 pounds down to 140......and i had to play spin doctor.....as this girl has been walking, riding an exercycle, doing situps, and cutting down/out of the usual juvenile junk...and she has really worked too hard to get unto reasonable eating and exercise habits for her mother to claim she is obsessive and should stop.........i have seen obsessive.....and this girl is nowhere close.......but now that i at home, and have had time to consider all angles....it occurs to me that culturally, thinness may be an issue.......i know so little about hispanic culture......the mamma, and the interpretor brought by the mamma....are both short and roundish.......and maybe they are afraid the thin.......i don't know......and i am not sure where to find this out.......

superbowl....

ok, so i watched the school for the deaf and blind signing/singing good bless america and sighed as they later trotted out veterans and ex-presidents with the combined choirs singing the national anthem....i must say that i like the choir's version......none of the warbling that some soloists add to the tune.......and later i watched part of paul mccartney sings the beatles at the half....and then i went to bed......because the only football i watch must involve osu in some way......and because i was tired and went to bed.....and with good results....i feel so good this morning that i cranked up the cd player and sang along with aretha, and then david bowie.....and beck and assorted others on my way to work....after letting off the youngest.......i always keep the stereo at a modest volume setting when i am in company...must keep up appearances..........

Sunday, February 06, 2005

lolita....

ok, so 2 days after finishing , lolita.....i have to say that nabokov led me down the garden path as he set-up for the ending.........and this is a good thing.......i am an avid mystery reader, and naturally look for the culprit at each and every plot twist......so i was surprised when lolita did not end the way i assumed it would, given the introduction......and it remains a book that is not for everyone.....i sat next to someone in sunday school who would not care to read it if she hasn't already....so i answered ' bob dylan's biography' when she asked me what i am reading right this minute.......and so now i move on to a book called gilead.......which is up for a book award.......gilead is a work that i can spell easily...g-i-l-e-a-d....as i come from mount gilead, ohio.......i can tell you that mount gilead is the site where laban overtook jacob....and that there was a famous watchtower named mizpah....and that there was a balm made there.......but i do not think that this book is about any of those things......we shall see......so far i am doing well with books for february.......though this cleaning jag may get in the way.......

meanness versus boldness......

ok, so now that my mother is out of town, i have begun a systematic sorting of her clutter.........bottoms to cracked disposable plasticware that seem to have no lids......ripped recipes where the bottom portion is gone...church bulletins from our hometown dated 7 years ago....last year's christmas catalogs.....leaflets for money-saving offers.........that is the stuff my mom cannot seem to part with......so i have thrown it away for her....so can either be furious or delighted when she gets back.....and either way there will be less stuff for her to take care of in the end.....i have already accumulated a mountain of trash bags in her garage...all to be taken away before she comes home.....bigger stuff is a bit more complicated.....while she must have 300 paperback books.....none i would care to read....i do not feel comfortable donating these to the goodwill without consulting her.....i'll just suggest that when she gets back.....and the clothing.....same deal......she has lost enough weight that most doesn't fit, but she clings to these things for some reason......again...i would be happy to carry it all to the goodwill, but not without her blessing first......and so i have half-cleaned.....i have done the stuff i can do while she is still lucid......knowing full well that at some point i will have the chore of shoveling out everything.......and so i mentally take notes as to what is worth keeping and what could be donated....and what i will send straight to landfill.....i did find a stray certificate......to my dad from harry truman for his service to his country.......and even then they must have used a stamp of some sort because it didn't look like a legit signature.......ah well......now i am going to sit back with a cold beer in a hot tub.....and not watch the superbowl......and think about all the stuff my children will have to drag out of THIS house when i am gone........

a public coming-out.....

ok, so the headline story in this morning's local newspaper...the one with the big color photo....was about a 61-one year old woman who has come-out.....for years she lived with her much older partner......in rural county as opposed to town....as 'aunt' and neice'.......and now that her 'aunt' has passed...she has decided to dedicate the rest of her life to helping young gay women avoid the same fate....of having to pretend about a 'secret love'.....such a sad tale......and i admire this woman for telling her version of it.......especially in this red state of ours where so many are under the impression that 'the gays' only live in san francisco...or nyc or places like that.....certainly not in little danville.....even now there is a local church that has lost members because of the 'revelation' that one of their deacons is openly gay.........how this escaped the attention of those who were surprised is beyond me......and how they think that switching churches will insulate them and their families is also a mystery........they have merely gone from the openly gay crowd to the closeted crowd......and closer to home.....they are probably related to at least one person who has alternative potential........and so i am amazed and heartened by the article in today's paper.......a brave move for this woman......an act of love and devotion to her late partner.....and who can find fault in that......

ok, so mm wants to know just who in the hell condie rice is waving to........the on-staff rnc photographer?.......the paid mourners who attend such goings-away?.......those who pledged this sort of show-up allegiance in exchange for tickets to coronation balls?...i would say inagauguration, but i do believe that dubious dubya quite sees himself as king these days.........maybe somebody should show condy the queen elizabeth wave....... Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 05, 2005

more unobservant than the mm.......

ok, so to be more unobservant than yours truly takes some effort......but today i met up with a parent of a child who, into his second semester of college....has just recently noticed that the college of his choice is quite liberal........and this came as a surprise to this conservative family.......gentle readers........this comes as a surprise to me.....that the question of a campus's general political climate never came up during the tour(s) or the possible interview....or even the princeton review big book of colleges........and so to wake up one morning with the realization that you are basically amongst the leftist/liberal louts that you deeply despise.....well......it was all i could do not to just laugh aloud.......and this child has 3 years left after this one......now, to be honest.....this child has located his 'people' amongst the r.o.t.c. crowd.....not surprising.. but mainly, his classes are with folks who deeply disagree with his right-wing leanings, and who are likely to take him to task on most of his opinions.....after the election, we liberals must find humor where-ever we can.....and make the most of it when we can.........and somehow the image of a 19 year old right winger from a red state partially adrift amid a sea of blue-state liberals is enough to sustain me for the near future.......

governor's cup

ok, so today was the district governor's cup academic competition.......the last one for our senior......and he won social studies, arts/humanities....and the quick recall team took first place.....ironically, there was a question in one of the quick recall matches about nobakov/lolita.........and so he moves on to regionals....it was nice.....going to the day-long event......chatting with the usual suspects aka parents of team members.....some who have had children on teams with either my eldest or middle child since 6th grade.......i missed most of scw's meets when i was spending all of my time at the restaurant......and i was thrilled to be able to be at this critical meet.......i will likely miss the regionals, as they are at a high school just miles from the tennessee border.....but i will make it to the finals in louisville, if the need arises.........

paperwork.....

ok, so the paperwork/copies of all transactions was in the mail today......including copies of the checks involved...and signatures of everybody who needed to sign....so i am offically out of the food service industry....and feeling really good about it at this point........let's just call last thursday's woeful breastbeating a passing foolishness........i say amen, amen, and amen........

meanmammameandaddy............

ok, so lest we forget where the name of this blog arose......we were reminded last night as we were breaking the news that the one who had planned to attend a school dance had not the agreed-upon midterm grades to receive this priviledge.......ouch.... the parental commitment to stick to one's standards is a tough call...are the academic standards set for the older children appropriate for the younger one who was not privy to the same formative opportunities?......in some ways we have already lowered the bar by saying that a's and b's are the goal......rather than all a's....... regardless......a handful of c's doesn't get anybody into a dance...at least not in this family....and so i/we are again mean....and will remain so as long as we have some semblence of chance to make a difference in this child's future.........and because this grades business took precedence.....the merit finalist part and the fall dean's list certificate that arrived in the mail for the eldest (he has yet to mention this to us).......were lost in the hubbub......we'll celebrate tomorrow......the eldest and his girlfriend are coming down for after-church lunch...when we plan to celebrate the youngest's birthday with just family........her birthday is actually next weekend.....the birthmother and her husband will be here..they are making a special trip as this is her 12th birthday on the 12th of february.....they call it her golden birthday.....we have no knowledge of this golden birthday business, but they are in a tizzy about the notion.......and the rest of the family is not required to be around for that visit......if i didn't have to be around i wouldn't be......but this is something i signed on for....and i will make the best of it....meanmamma or not......

Friday, February 04, 2005

merit.....

ok, so tiny danville high school has 2 national merit scholarship finalists, and one of them is my son........which doesn't actually mean that he has won a scholarship......but at least he is still in the running.......we are so proud of how hard he works to achieve all that he does.......

red letter days in public health

ok, so in all of the other fuss yesterday...i completely forgot to mention my memorable client.......memorable because the conversation was unexpected.....and because i had no quick response........this 60ish gentleman was referred by his doctor for control of newly diagnosed diabetes...so far...so good.....and though i was surprised when he arrived....he was downright emaciated looking...leathery, tanned and wrinkled skin...and smelling strongly of cigarettes......i jumped right into the pertinent questions...like weight history.....what is the most you have ever weighed.....versus what you weigh now.......and this guy just looks at me with a straight face and replies......maam.....i used to weigh a whole lot more before my wife shot me in the belly..........gentle readers.......i must have been speechless for a full minute.....having no pat reply to such a declaration.....and now i wish i had asked just what he did to get his wife mad enough to shoot him.......ex-wife...i should say....as he spoke frequently about his girlfriend.......omg......that guy has a girlfriend......who presumbaly will not up and shoot him in the belly.......

the new yorker....

ok, so the new new yorker came yesterday.....and it was a comic relief to any otherwise maudlin day.......there seemed to be a humerous antedote to my each and every woe throughout its pages.........even before i settled down to the business of reading the articles......