ok, so tonight i sat through 3.5 hours of swimming banquet festivities- fromstanding in line for over 20 minutes while we waited for the fried chicken strips to arrive from the walmart- through mini-bios of all 100 swimmers on the team to 110% awards for each age castegory- you get the picture- speaking of pictures- it was dark by the time they tried to take a group picture of all the special award winners. then i came home to discover that someone had drank the last of my last bottle of wine. gentle readers, never drink the last of mean mamma's wine after mean mamma has been thinking about a glass of wine during a 3.5 hour swim meet...........

ok, so my book club met last night and organized itself. while this might not be fast-breaking news, it does make life easier. we have decided upon 6 books, and 6 meeting dates and 6 meeting places- all in advance so we can make read ahead as needed. i have traditionally hosted the meeting at the end of february (icall it my birthday book club) and serve a meal that goes along with the book. i chose jane austin's persuasion, because we have never read austin and it is relatively short. there were those who grumbled that this book was not voted upon, and that it was probably a squishy hormone book- austin is all about social satire, not hormones, which this group will certainly discover upon closer inspection. ah well. i do hope that lapsed and sorely missed book club members will read this book and plan on coming on wednesday february 26 at 7:00............

ok, so i stand corrected- yerrhhh starts with a y.

ok, so for what it is worth- the role of bobby trumbo for sophomores will be played by ryan montgomery, a dhs and centre grad who played soccer for both teams- his mother is in my sunday school class- so this info must be true-. he interned with the heart of danville, and helped us with some events- he told me that he is excited about teaching world history- and then asked if my soon plays soccer- he appeared to have a preference for soccer players.......erhhhhhhh

ok, so suffered through the most boring supper last night- some of my parents dearest friends (from texas) came by for a few days on an extended trip to visit family and friends in the east. they are ex-military(the husband graduated west point). i am unused to so many republicans in one place, especially now that my brother does not visit often. i did get out of hand when they were all tralking about geneology, and i mentioned my newly discovered but shameful kinship to gwbush. this crowd was not amused.........neither was i amused at the 30+ minute story about local united way scandals in their hometown and how black-run charities couldn't figure out how to manage their finances, and then another 30+ minutes trying to make sure that i understood that they are not bigots. ah well, it was nice of them to come for a few days and cheer up my mother......

ok, so i am now starting to worry about the next child driving a car- my car- now that the only cars we have are my van and a stick shift truck- i have 5 months left to stew on this dilemna- but stew i will..........maybe he will turn out to be a very good driver- like guy in rainman 'i am a very good driver'.......

ok, so my new hero is igor florres- he came in last at the tour de france- 154th place- you have got to love someone that perseveres and finishes something-even if his final time is over 3 hours afetr the winner. this guy- from the basque team, no less, probably has few sponsors and probably rides for the love of cycling- he could have quit- he could have gone home when the tour reaches the pyrenees-but he stuck with it. igor- you are my kind of guy....

ok, so i finished the chair by the time that mr. bingley proposed to jane bennett, and was able to casually watch the rest of P&P with a glass of wine while gazing smugly at the newly covered chair. well, not too smugly, as any fool can tell that it was not done by a professional. but it is done, and i can move on. and i can put back the P&P tapes for another project......

i also watched the end of the tour de france. the end of anti-climactic- like we didn't know that lance was going to win again. when you are that far ahead, it takes a fluke to lose. he really won last week when heras paced him up the mountain in the south of france and lance fought back when belocki tried to attack on the same climb. that was the defining moment- and basically the ride was all downhill from there. i enjoyed the brief footage from vaux-le-vicomte, a fabulous chateaux in melun, where the tour started on the last leg. i visited there in 1989 on one of my trips with deedra. i took the train to melun, then a taxi to the chateaux (a $16 taxi as i recall.....) it was built just before versailles was reborn as a super-chateaux by the finance minister for louis XIV- he of course paid for it with embezzled funds- so louis took it from him after a big open-house party, and through the finance guy in jail- then took all of his work crew (architects, gardeners, etc.) to versailles to work for him. andre le notre did the gardens- just like her did the gardens at versailles and the tuilleries- these gardens are so french- with series of fountains and parterres and with very little lawn- certainly no lawn to tread upon- just lawn to look upon. the house is quite lovely, with less gold and frou frou and more nice touches like caned chairs. it is worth a visit if you are ever in the area....

ok, so this weekend mean mamma is recovering a chair. this is the second time that this chair has had to be recovered- our precious cat mistakes this chair for a scratching tower. the first time, i paid someone $150 to do the job. the cat had the back in tatters within a year- so i decided to do the second recovering myself since it appeared to be a short-term thing anyway. the fabric is a soft gold with a rib to it that i got for $1 a yard at the last jackson chair sale- even if i screw up i am out less than $10. i have learned a lot about the process since the last go-around- i took apart the cover, and used each piece as a pattern for the new cover. i also added an inch around each side- the last time it was hard to stretch the thing to cover the bottom of the chair..........i have moved the operation out to the back room because there is more floor space. my goal is to finish before the 6 hours of A&E's pride and predjudice finishes up on the vcr- my family finds my fascination with jane austin humerous. i like to watch such things while doing projects because i don't have to pay really close attention, but i can pay attention if i want to..... i would not attempt to watch say gosford park right now because i would be rewinding odften to figure out what is going on........and what was said. besides, the more one reads, or watches P&P, the more astute one becomes to austin's satire on the uppety-side of this world. right now, i am struggling to get the parts over the armrests just right.........

if all goes well, i want to recover the loveseat in the front room- there is also an arm chair with a matching footrest that i will pay someone to to because it has lots of wood trim that i wouldn't know how to work around. of course, i could have paid someone to do all of this, but i am trying to save money for a trip...... now, if only my on-site cat whisperer would tell the kitty to stop with the scratching........

ok, so what do bill clinton, julius caesar, napoleon, michelangelo, davinci, einstein, piccasso, beethoven, marcel marceau, and oprah have in common with me? we all sinister, gauche and weak- all which used to be descriptive terms for the left-handed. i have vague recollections of a first grade teacher trying to talk my mother into forcing me to write with my right hand- something that i cannot do without great concentration- my rigfht hand can hardly hold the pen. however, i can eat with both hands, but prefer my left hand for forks. i also used to bat right-handed and i use scissors with my right hand. of course, the old joke- left-handed people make better use of the right side of their brains- so lefties are the only ones in their 'right' minds.........

ok, so mean mamma is still too upset about botox and arsenic to move on.............

ok, so mean mamma will not be getting botox anytime soon. there was an article in the lexherleader about sydney barrows biddle, known in the 80's as the mayflower madame, who now holds botox parties for her friends in a plastic surgeons office. she gets free botox when a certain number of her friends get treatments at $800 a pop. someone the idea of paying that kind of cash to have botulism spores injected into my body seems wrong and misguided- i recall that in the turn of the century, women took small amounts of arsenic to keep their skin clear and young looking.......... what is next? i cannot even imagine.

ok, so mean mamma has a thing or two to say about cloning. i heard on the news tonight about a woman in south korea that is pregnant with a cloned embryo. my first thought was - is it her own clone, or someone elses?' if it in fact a clone of her own body- than is she giving birth to her daughter, her sister, or herself? will we have to come up with new pronouns for clones- or should that person be introduced as just my 1st second or third clone? if she cloned her husband, is it incestuous to sleep with this child when he grows older? if she cloned her mother, is she now her own grandmother? it is too much.

speaking of too much, stephan has informed us that we are, in fact, 21st cousins to g.w.bush through a british connection. he has really gotten into this geneology thing- i told him that i would rather be related to someone like princess diana- she had style and panache and certainly didn't have big ears........

ok, so we catered a dinner last night, to which attendees brought "their own" as in byob. such a motley assortment of bottles when the event was over- wine of course, some drank whiskey mixed with diet coke- but the most intriguing were the wine coolers. understand that mean mamma is not a fan of overly sweet foods/beverages of any kind- so overly sweet cooler concoctions that mix together cranberry juice with kiwi and white zinfandel sound disgusting- and look worse- like a jonestown cocktail of death. i think that one wasd called harbor mist or amber mist or something just as banal. of course, i don't like white zinfandel plain- i find it too sweet. this crowd was exclusively from out of town- but some things are the same all over- one woman missed most of the festivities because she was constantly out of the dining room on her cell phone- talking to her kids, returning phone messages, telling people to 'look on the table in the back room' over and over like somehow it would be found on the table in the back room if she mentioned it enough. i am not sure that she actually ate any of the appetizers- which were lovely, by the way. i did a delicious layered marinated vegetable display- in a dill dressing- the marinated mushrooms were wonderful, along with a baked brie. sometimes food is the better part of my day...........back to the cell phoen addict- at one point she had gone to the bathroom, and her cell phone- in her purse- was rining once again- and someone at her table took it to her- while she was in the bathroom!!!! just to stop it from ringing. you would think that this woman would have taken the hint and turned it off- just to be sociable.......

ok, so i do believe that i am related to charlemagne. i like the idea of being 39 generations removed from the founder of the frankish dynasty. i also like the idea of being related somehow to lord and lady baltimore- is that the same lady baltimore for whom the cake is named. i especially like being related to people with foods named after them.

i enjoyed reading the loyal opposition's review of valmont. that movie is a remake of sorts of liasons dangerouse (sp) starring john malkovich and glen close as the mean courtesan and michelle pffiefer and uma thurman. i have seen both, and felt that both movies did a good job at conveying the utter cuthroat culture that was the aristocracy. however, no one does cuthroat like glen close (think cruella deville........) that liasons role may have gotten her all of the 101 dalmation remakes. i sought out valmont just to watch colin firth- who i enjoyed in pride and predjudice. he apparantly went on to have a baby with meg tilly who was also in the movie-i did not find her role near as believable as when played by michele pffeifer. no. colin is not the man of my dreams (bridgit jones diary certainly cured me of that) as i am married to the man of my dreams- however, he has brief moments of handsomeness riddled through out his movies that i find appealing. speaking of men of my dreams- i am eternally grateful that i didn't grow up in the era of arranged marriages- one would usually find oneself married to an old geezer just because his connection to my family was advantageous to my parents. of course, i suppose that some women still are willing to marry old rich geezers, but at least it is their choice and they have no one to blame but themselves........

speaking of costume pictures- i regret that i never got around to seeing the importance of being earnest at the ky theatre in its umptennth remake. this one has the usual cast of characters who do such films- many who were in gosford park as well as reese witherspoon of all people.

ok, so i thought i was going to get to take cayle to chicago this weekend, but we have taken on a job and she couldn't go anyway because of swim conference. i am now looking to take a few days during dhs fall break and go to chicago via columbus indiana and back via springfield illinois. mean mamma is just not happy unless she has a trip of some sort to look forward to. mean mamma IS glad that she is NOT her sister-in-law lisa. lisa is ernst's youngest sibling- probably 39- she had her first child graduate from high school this year, her youngest child is 2 years old and letting himself out of the front door, her dog just died of leukemia, her new puppy isn't working out, her middle child has 2-a-day soccer practices, her husband has been laid off since christmas, and her son that was to go to college in 4 weeks just broke his leg. on top of that she is executrix for ernst's mother's will, and sister elaine does not speak to her because of that fact. no matter how dismal things may seem in my life, i can conjur up visions of how much worse they could be......of course, mean mamma worries that mamma weber's money is tied up in mutual funds........

ok, so i am over the wedding and on to other things. we did a breakfast this morning at 6:00, which meant that i had to be there at 5:00 which meant that i had to get up and out the door by 4:45- i heard part of a bbc call-in show about arms control, and then 10 or so minutes of michael j. fox reading from his book lucky man. now, this is a book that i wouldn't have read, being as it is about disease and recovery and certainly a tearjerker with all sorts of too intimate details about the treatment, etc. not my sort of book at all- BUT, the few minutes i heard were quite compelling, especially because it sounded like michael was telling me and me alone all about his troubles at 4:49 am. i can barely thinks about to his first sit-com and i only saw the first back to the future and i may never have watched spin city- so i am not the best of mjfox fans. BUT if the library has this book on tape i may listen to it to see what happens after the part where i got to work and turned off the car.......

ok, so my partner and i did a wedding in winchester yesterday for 65 people, and i am still getting over it. the house was one of those 8,000 square foot jobs, on a huge lot that seemed to have a field in front and back. i was therefore surprised that this couple had notbothered to actually weed their foundation plantings, nor mulch around them- there were 3 foot tall thistles and all sorts of healthy and large crab grass and other assorted pesky plants. there were 2 middleschool age boys living there-one would think that they could have handled the big weeds without worrying that they would mess up the yard.......when we took the job, we offered to bring along staff people to bus tables, and serve drinks-but no- they had a 'housekeeper' who would be taking care of those details. the bride herself had bought all of the beer, wine, soft drinks, etc, and the housekeeper would keep them all set out on a self-serve bar. ha-we were already in the upstairs kitchen working on benedectine finger sandwiches when this little woman arrives and introduced herself to the bride- apparantly she cleans the house everyother week during the day when groom( who lived here before the wedding) was at work, and had never met the bride. turns out that she didn't know many things about the house- like where the temperature controls were located- so when the cake with white chocolate icing(from some lex baker, not us) started to sweat from the heat- we couln't turn down the airconditioning.......the icing started to literally melt off of this cake..........anyway, the housekeeper had no instinct of any kind on what one did during a party- she seemed to think that she was there to clean up after it was all over. think back to gone with the wind- the maid played by butterfly mcqueen- 'i don't know nothing about serving parties, miss scarlet........' that was the modern version of this housekeeper. we found her sitting on one of our coolers in the pantry at one point and she admitted that she was hiding out from the evil wedding coordinator and her equally evil mother the florist. that we could understand because we tried to avoid them as well. these women were like charicitures of their roles- if i hadn't been on the job i would have laughed at the black comedy of it all. they had this little habit of coming up to jerry or me and saying stuff like 'someone needs to start picking up plates....' jerry answered with what became out standard reply to these women- 'you had better find the housekeeper.....' someone needs to make sure that the guests don't take the pop cans to their tables' someone needs to get more cokes' someone needs to make sure the dog doesn't get out of the pantry. someone needs to move this coffee table out of the way. someone needs to move that sofa. someone needs to cut the cake(it wasn't our cake, and the bride had not mentioned cutting the cake but jerry did it anyway) someone needs to clean out this sink......at this point i almost turned and smacked this woman- as i was washing out our serving pieces in that sink- and i wasn't going to clean out that sink until i was finished. she almost accused us of taking some of her leftover flowers 'someone has stolen our freesias....' she exclaimed as she came out of the pantry- followed by her little assitant with the freesias in her hand saying- 'they were right there in the sink....' jerry and the evil florist got into it when the florist tried to put a hurricane candle arrangement under an airconditioning vent- even though the candle was in glass the forced air kept putting it out...... the food went over well. we only hope that the guests do not blame us for the quality of champagne offered at the toast-which couldn't have cost over $3 a bottle. i guess when you live in a house that had to have cost $350,000, you can't afford someone to weed or decent wine.......one more interesting note from the days events- we passed a stretch suburban- like a limosine only with a large suv- it was really strange- we couldn't figure out why someone would bother- like making a stretch vw beetle........what's the point......

ok, so we are running out of time in july, and those that write monthly poems have yet to publish...........

ok, so mean mamma wants not only to have a second home in france, but to have one in the pyrennees- the tour de france scenery yesterday was spectacular. apparantly lance himself has a second home on the other side of the mountain they climbed- on the spanish side, though. i have enough problems with french- i don't think i could tackle spanish, too. anyway, back to my dream house- it would have espaliered fruit trees, and a trout stream, and be close enough to a village so that i could walk into town for cheese and bread and wine. well, i would surely have a wine cellar, now wouldn't i? therefore, i would have to drive to bordeaux and buy in bulk just so i would always be prepared.......oh, yeh, and chablis and sancerre as well.....of course, invite my friends to spend their vacations in my fantasy house, and rent it out when no one else was using it. the mountains don't seem like a place for a pool, but a hot tub sounds just wonderful......

ok, so mean mamma likes the edit function of blogger- i was able to erase a whole section about how i was mad that my little brother failed to show up yesterday as promised for a long-overdue visit to ky- i got it all out of my system then deleted it- i feel better but i wish that he had come.

ok, so yesterday i watched the tape of crouching tiger/hidden dragon that andrew brought home from the library. i found it to be a visual pleasing movie, as i would expect from the director of one of my favorite jane austin films- sense and sensibility. of course with jane austin. ang lee couldn't mess around with the ending- austin fans would rebel if lee had changed the happy conclusion to something like emma thompson jumping off a bridge rather than marrying hugh grant. i didn't see that coming, though i did not that the male lead would be killed by the jade fox because andrew accidently let that slip at dinner........i was surprised to see such a non-glamourous role for a movie antogonist- the jade fox was mean even for mean mamma standards.....obviously i would have preferred jen to go off in the sunset with lo, and michelle yeoh to find happiness with the guy whose name i cannot remember. i did like his haircut- of course, i was impressed by the fight scenes- i liked the scene in the pub where jen clears them all out one by one. a true ninja babe........

ok, so i cheated for the second day in a row- i looked up the tour results, but now i can't wait to see the video because i want to see how lance pulled off a stage win and the maillot jaune all in the same race.and how another postal rider is now third in the tour.

july is fading fast and i haven't gone anywhere this summer. it doesn't look like i will go anywhere at all this summer. of course, one could say that going on a big trip in january already i shouldn;t whine about not going anywhere 6 months later- but then mean mammas have to have something to whine about........

ok, so i have cheated and i already feel guilty about it. i am really tired, and i don't want to stay up and watch the taped version of the tour de france tonight- so i looked up on line who won and where lance is now placed. i know, i know, it's kind of like looking up on line who won a wimbledon tennis match rather than watch the delayed televised broadcast. but then. sleep sounded so good, better than watching lance on the last flat section before the mountains. at least he didn't wreck or anything like that.......

ok, so i ate like a pig at the food show- and i am quite embarassed at the things i tasted- there must be some latent fried food gene deep within my body that wants fried foods when presented with them in heated displays- fried mushrooms. fried cauliflower, fried zucchini, fried cheese, french fries in assorted shapes and seasonings....it just went on and on. i did have a plum off of the fruits and vegetables display.....we got there early and left early- and missed the party with the free drinks that my workmates were looking forward to, but we were all stuffed and tired, and so drove back to danville. on the way back, we made up stories about people in the cars that passed us- like 'she is behind on her car payments and her boyfriend is in jail' i stuff like that. there were several very funny stories but i can't recall them because i was driving.

last night we looked at the pile of photos that ernst had developed over the weekend- when he announced that he was going to develop pictures from thebike trip- all sorts of undeveloped film canisters came forth from drawers and other hiding spots- we had pictures from las vegas- a trip at least 3 years ago, from dc/philly with 8th grade, which included a really cute wide angle photo of petra and one of betty, also pictures of stephan in the hospital in iowa when he got dehydrated during the bike trip there, also christmas pictures from 2 years ago while my dad was still living across the street and able to open presents. there were pictures from heidlburg and amsterdam. many good pictures that didn't get developed for whatever reason.....

ok, so mean mamma didn't get around to blogging yesterday- but not because of a lackof material........i went shopping on sunday with andrew and stephan in lexington-none of us bought much. when we got back home there were 2 fully loaded tourist bikes on the porch- and that meant only one thing-ernst had fixed one or two tourist bikes, and then invited them home. our 2 tourists were quite a surprise- a father and son team from a small town between haarlem and amsterdam, near the airport. the son was about 36, and works as a forensic auditor for a large corporation- he finds money launderers and tax evaders, etc through both computer and traditional research methods. in holland, the work week is technically 36 hours, so employees are paid for 36 hours regardless of how many hours are actually worked. he takes off the unpaid work time at the end of major projects- this biking trip is 45 days long because that is how much unpaid time he worked. his father is a carpenter. they both spoke english very well, not surprising as they have cycled throughout america on numerous occassions- and have seen more states and parks and sights than most americans. they did seem a bit conservative- neither drank beer, and they did get a bit worked up when i asked about Holland's liberality of laws regarding euthanasia, marijuana use, gay marriage, etc. one could gather that they didn't approve of such laws...anyway, they were both surprised to hear that 3 of us had recently been to holland, and readily commiserated about the lack of parking, the traffic,etc. they had supper with us, spend the night in the guest room. in the morning, stephan and ernst rode with them to harrdosburg to make sure they got on the right road to bardstown. their visit was a nice diversion. of course, now i want to go back to holland.....

today the restaurant is closed, and the entire staff is going to a food show in covington. food shows are free-for-alls- the warehouse that we buy from invites all of its suppliers to being samples of foods it makes, and we get to taste them all. at the end of the day, attendees are allowed to grab what they want, so the suppliers do not have to lug everything back to their vehicles. in the past i have come home with nice jars of capers, anchovies, olives, artichoke hearts, fresh apricots, exotic mushrooms, and other neat foods. there is a party after the show closes, with free drinks. in the past my crew has been really into mixed drinks like gin and tonic or whiskey and diet coke. i am not into such fare. so i am the designated driver. my van is the only vehicle among us big enough to take everyone up to cincinnati- as long as i have my free fresh apricots i am just fine and dandy........

ok, i am a sap for romantic comedies- i am watching the end of sleepless in seattle as i type- i didn't finish it yesterday. it is so predictable but i find that quality comforting. doesn't matter if is meg or julia or sandra i find them compelling. it must be a sickness......

ok, so it is july, and my family spends each and every evening watching a taped segment of the tour de france. my mother's vcr is much newer than ours, so it looks very garbled on our machine. however, the portable tv/vcr combo handles the tape just fine, so we watch the tour tapes on a 9 inch screen. seems very americana for a family of 5 to be gathered around a 9-inch screen- kind of like radio days. last night the german sprinter erik zahbel (sp) finished 1/3 of a tire before 2 other riders- he retains the green jersey (for sprinting) but doesn't win the yellow jersey for overall leader because that is based on total time- today everyone finished about the same time. lance armstrong remains in 3rd place- he won't make his move til the mountains, where he can pull ahead with less risk of wrecking. sprints are prone to wrecks because everyones wheels are so close together. a bike wreck in a sprint with 20-30 riders starts off the domino effect..........anyway, today they ride in normandy- it will be relatively flat. they will come around the wetsern parts of france before taking on the pyrenees and then the alps. lance always bides his time until the mountains.

i got to sleep in til 8:00 this morning and do not have to go to work until about 2:00- we are doing a wedding starting at about 6- i have to put together some vegetable baskets, stuff 200 little buns with roast beef, make bean dip and artichoke dip, and barbeque 250 meatballs. surely i can do that in 4 hours. no alcohol will be served, so this event will not last forever.......when beer or wine is served, the guests tend to stay until it is gone........

ok, so the cornish game hens in bourbon and apricot glaze that i made for supper tonight are absolutely devine. sorry to my vegetarian friends, but these are the most tender, juicy and savory morsels i have ever tasted. i can only hope that there are a few left over so i can take one home to enjoy with a glass of wine........

ok, so i found a white hair amongst my otherwise brown hairs on my head this morning- and i am freaked out. this hair was white- not even grey- and while i only saw the one there may be others lurking nearby.....i should feel fortunate to be 46 and to have had so few encounters with fading coloration (i found a grey hair a few years ago- but it must have been a mutant because that seemed to be the end of it, or so i thought....) i do not want to have to color my hair- i so dislike the thought of having that telltale skunk stripe down the middle of my head when the hair starts to grow out and the grey/white roots show...

i am still bummed out about a child i encountered as part of one of my freelance nutrition consulting ventures. this child is 9 years old and has lost 15 pounds in the past 2 months. he told me without blinking that he doesn't eat because he wants to die- the grave is the only place for him since his mother doesn't want him, nobody wants him. it is sad to think that in this land of plenty there are children who have so little- so little love and attention, so little cause for joy. that's a picture that i can't get out of my mind. ..it puts my fretting over a white hair in perspective.

ok, two roads cafe wants in on this internment action- for a yet-to-be-dtermined fee we will -

cater your funeral
intern your ashes in a small vault next to your favorite table
sprinkle your ashes from the top of our waterfall while humming amazing grace softly or on kazoo....
name a sandwich after you or your mistress or your dog
name an alcoholic drink after you (if election is successful)

the potential has yet to be fully tapped.........

ok, so i read this morning in lexherleader about centre's columbarium, by old centre, where for a fee centre grads may pay to have their ashes spend eternity. no mention of centre's price- but u of richmond charges $3000 while u of va charges only $1800. article also vague on whether non-centre grads can pay to be interred in this location- whether pubically educated ashes may lay near centre educated remains. OR whether dogs of centre grads may be interred, regardless of where their degree was earned.......maybe a tiered approach could be lucrative for centre:

for an extra $1000 we will have an eternal flame burning in front of your remains (for an extra $500 we will simply make it glow......)

for an extra $10,000 we will allow for your mistress to be interred with you, and we promise that your wife will never know.....

for an extra $100,000 we will posthumously award a bfa to your spouse and/or mistress or to whoever is interred with you....

for an extra $1,000,000 the board of trustees will hold a candlelight vigil by your remains on the anniversary of your death, every year, even in the rain or snow.......

just a few suggestions......


enough of this- lets talk about the many frightful glamour don'ts seen in danville yesterday- one woman in particular strands out- literally. she was getting into a minivan at dq- a very large woman wearing a neon tie-dyed mu-mu of sorts- tie-dye done to that large a garment ends up looking like a bulls-eye. that woman could have been targeted from space........of course, if she is a centre grad, there may be a 6 x 6 inch box waiting for her near old centre.......

ok, so i am upset about time magazine's reporting of julia robert's marriage to her cameraman. time made much light of it, and hoped her much happiness for as long as it lasts. i am saddened that time would publically comment on such things as marital happiness. i believe that anyone who opts to tie the knot has at least a 50/50 shot at being married forever. and who is to say that a famous wife cannot find marital bliss with a nonfamous person- or that a famous person can only be content with someone with equal billing on the marquee. so her marriage to lyle lovett didn't last, so what. so she ran out on her marriage to kiefer sutherland right before the wedding, so what. my in-laws were married for over 50 years, and argued almost every day- is that happiness or just the desire to finish what you started? in fact, my parents and both sets of grandparents and at least 1 set of greatgrandparents were married over 50 years- and that doesn't prove the happiness question. i only like to think that they were happy years spent together on the mutual project of raising children, keeping a house and property in decent repair, working, and having a bit of enjoyable spare time on the side. i like to think that i will be off somewhere with ernst on our 50th wedding anniversary- maybe biking in france (between small inns with great wine and fabulous food)- it takes a lot of work to stay married. julia might just have found the only person worth putting in the time and effort to stay married. lets give her the benefit of the doubt. woody allen once said ( or therabouts) 80% of life is just showing up.......so far. julis is right on target.

ok, so i sat for 3 hours last night and watched the horse whisperer. for the uninformed, this is a movie produced by, directed by, and starring robert redford- he probably did his own stunts, did his own makeup, and fed his own horse as well. i felt the most compassion for the poor horse, who has been traumatized both physically and emotionally-redford is the rugged outdoorsy rancher who knows how to heal him. the camera just loves redford in this movie, the camera always loves him in any movie that he has been in. i may have to locate 3 days of the condor- a lesser known redford thriller, or find some of the most popular ones like the sting and butch cassidy or the great gatsby or the way we were...i can't watch the way we were without sobbing at the end. ah well, maybe there will be horse whisperer II- or the cat whisperer followed by the dog whisperer as lucrative sequels. stephan is our resident cat whisperer, maybe we have an indie flick on our hands..........

ok, so i felt sorry for nalvandian, the guy who got whooped in the men's final at wimbledon yestderday, he lost in straight sets, and won only 6 games out of the entire match. he had played much better tennis in the semifinal game against the equadorian player. maybe he was just tired and nervous by the time sunday rolled around. i only watched a few minutes of doubles- it is such a brutal version, with each player trying to smash the ball out of the court in a way that can't be returned. so now we have the us open to look forward to, then no more tennis til next year....

ok, so it took a committee to finish our fishpond. at one point, ernst, stephan and andrew were out standing in the water debating on how to elevate the sides to hold more water. it is lovely as it is rightnow- i am no longer concerned about the what ifs- only the nows and the what could be's regarding landscaping.........it is twice as big as version #3and 4.......

ok, so mean mamma is very slow at the uptake when it comes to humor. yesterday stephan and i launched into our fourth remake of our fishpond. we dismantled everything, down through all 3 liners, including the original one that i installed after going to the chelsea flower show and deciding that i could not live without a water feature in my yard. the liner i bought was small, which basically dictated that size and shape of my pond. the liner that we bought yesterday was 12 x 12- stephan and i continue to enlarge the pond based on the generous size of said liner- we have acheived roundness and may reach oval status as we dig closer to the fence line. stephan also had the bright idea to move the waterfall around to the side so it can be seen from the deck- did i tell you that my son is brilliant? anyway, back to the humor. when ernst got home from work, stephan's first words to him were "do you want to bring out the level?' it is so funny now- the next morning- in that when stephan and i launched into our brickwalk around the flowerbeds project- ernst kept trying to get us to use the level to make sure that the walks would be even. we soon abandoned use of said level, because we were building on a hill anyway, and very few sections could be level anyway. i don't think ernst caught on that stephan was actually making a joke out of the level- i certainly didn't catch on.........anyway- the fourth version of the lily pond is going to be tremendous......i certainly hope that we will not require version number 5...........

ok, so i am blogging while i wait for wimbledon tennis ladies finals to come on. while i lack the eye-hand coordination requires to play tennis (or most games, for that matter.....) i enjoy watching. wimbledon is a bittersweet time for me- i recall clearly that chris evert was taking her final bow on the tv in the recovery room while i was coming out of anesthesia after surgury for an ectopic pregnancy. this was in 1989, i believe- i don't think about this event much, other than it dominoed into my travel habit. i was off work for 6 weeks owing to the abdominal incision- and i got really depressed sitting around the house every day. a good friend suggested that we drive up to cincinnati to see the taft museum- we had such a good time that we decided that we might as well go to paris on our next trip. she and i ended up going 4 times total (to be fair the 4th trip was free using ffmiles). travel has always seemed to be a better investment in my mental health than counseling......... but i digress- back to wimbledon. i started watching wimbledon because chris evert always played either in the semis ro the finals when i was growing up. she was my age, so i was fascinated by her talent at an age when i seemed to lack any talent. i would love to attend the tournament in person one day. i have seen the complex from the train, on our way to hampton court several years ago. ( i actually walked by roland garros in paris on my way to jardin de bagatelle- the most beautiful rose garden in the world, by the way....) all this talk of paris and wimbledon reminds me that i really want to go somewhere in january. i am saving every penny in hopes that some desparate airline will want to sell me a few cutrate tickets to somwhere i want to go........of course, i want to go everywhere........

ok,so i was mean last night at the block party we were invited to out on the newer part of bluegrass estates- the embattled part of bluegrass estates.....i inoocently asked the man eating next to me at the potluck pre-fireworks supper if this was the neighborhood that wanted to send it children to boyle instead of danville. oh, yes, he said- it makes no sense to send our children to danville when we are right across the street from the boyle schools. he added that he didn't sign the petition until 80% of his neighbors had also signed. and that his children were grandfathered in because they already attended boyle. and that he was confident that boyle was the better district...not that anything was actually wrong with danville, but that his children were getting a fine education at boyle. i mentioned that the dhs class of 2002 was sending 95% of its graduates to college/tech schools, and asked about boyle's track record. he wasn't sure of actual numbers, but he was sure that the % had caught up to dhs in the past few years. which means he knew that boyle traditionally has a poor % of children going to college- at the time we decided to send ours from montessori to danville, there was at least a 20% differential in the % going to college between the districts- a substantial difference. the gentleman in question does plan to vote yes on the wet/dry issue, so he can't be all bad......

but enough of all that- i did enjoy the fireworks, and the international cuisine of the potluck- several familes are either from china or japan- so i enjoyed wonderful soy-basted salmon, sushi, and a delectable tofu/noodle/vegetable dish. yum yum.

ok, so the quad bike family from maine story thickens. the dad got a 5 month leave of absence from his job, so this family has 2 more months together on the bike before they go home. they planned for this trip of a lifetime so well that they have no debt and has plenty of money saved- they are staying in hotels when the weather gets too oppressive, and when the kids needs to play in a pool. the father told ernst that the riding has not been as difficult as the 'team dynamics'- 4 people together for that long HAS been difficult- when the team can't stand to be that close for another day- they stop riding for a couple of days and do other things.

today is july 4th- i celebrated my independence from work today by sleeping in til 9:00. i have neglected my garden to the point that the weeds are big enough to have names of their own if they are allowed to stick around much longer. i believe that i might just get dressed and do a little yard work. especially now that we will soon have new neighbors. the house on the corner, next to my mom has been sold to a family with 3 sons. this house has never actually been lived in before- the couple who built it did so on spec- we were surprised that the house sold with the big clods of dirt that surround the house rather than any sort of foundation planting or grass-seeding. i hope that these children are somwhat near in age to cayle- the only other child living near us is an immature 7. i grew up in a neighborhood full of children- my parents had to call me in every summer night well after dark-no one wanted to stop playing because everyone had so much fun together. when andrew and stephan were small there were only retirees on the circle. they weren't even any fun for ernst and me.........

ok, so my menfolk are back in town- i arrived at the dart swim meet, and ernst was already there- looking for me- mom and stephan had left him and gone on to the house. stephan looks taller to me, but that may be just because i haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks.

how about those texas floods? i hope that the loyal opposition takes her life jacket just in case. i thought of the loyal opposition today when i heard an npr review of a group called the doves.they seemed to have a nice new edge. of course, i am slow on the uptake about new edge- i have just been informed that i actually have heard the strokes while we were in europe...........ah well, the doves sound like a cross between radiohead and U-2- very rythymic and with interesting lyrics. i came across an old vanity fair magazine recently that focused on hip music talent in america- i learned that ani difranco left home at 15 to start her singing and recording career in earnest. on one hand i am impressed, on the other, i thought of how hurt and upset her mother was..............the music i have heard in my mind this week ia the ramones 'i wanna be sedated'.......it could be worse, i suppose. it could be the captain and tenille......

ok, so i would have to add the following to my list of assumptions that must be fulfilled before i would submit to 3 months on the road with family or friends or absolute strangers for that matter.....

1. private/free time daily- for sightseeing, shopping etc-
2. opt-out privledges- anybody who doesn't want to go certain places can stay at the hotel; this includes the driver.......
3. extended stays in each main town- so reduce the packing and repacking of luggage, etc.

ok, so i know that this 3 month thing will likely never happen. but a girl can't be too careful, now can she?

ernst, stephan and mom will be back late today. they were approaching kansas city mo, when i phoned them yesterday evening. after i called them on the cell, my brother called on the house phone. for the record, he probably hasn't called since i began this blog. he has not been for a visit for 2 years. he announced that he is coming 'home' for a visit with us for r&r- and will probably stir things up by suggesting to our mother that she give up her car keys. i am not so sure that the time has come for that move- i would be happy if she turns off the books on tape to reduce her distractions. during this conversation with my brother i was again struck by how different we are- he spoke of the necessity for 'military solutions' that involve 'action now and explain later'- and basically blames democrats who are concerned about political correctness for all of the world's problems. buckle up, this visit is going to be a bumpy ride.....

ok, so i need to clarilfy all of my statements about not wanting to be on the road with my family for three months. i meant on a bike- i believe i could handle 3 months driving around the continent especially if the british isles were tacked on for good measure, and we were staying in hotels instead of camping, and it was not 18 degrees outside, and the car was big enough, and someone who understands these things put in the gasoline each time..........

ok, so ernst and stephan have only 46 miles left to ride. they should finish up by about 1:00, then start driving with my mom back to ky. the temp is now about 100, with wind coming from the east. ernst says it is like riding into a blast furnace. he has had good experiences, though. he and stephan met a family of 4, who have been on the road for 3 months. they are riding a quad(bike built for 4) that pulls a little trailer for their gear. the children are about 8 and 9, and are being home schooled. from now on, when things look rough and i start to get depressed, i will rejoice that i have not been on the road for 3 months, and that i am not riding a quad bike with my husband and 2 children 24/7- in the 100 degree heat.........

ok, so i listened to the most thought provoking 45 minutes of radio on my way back from lex this evening- studio 360 on wuky. the first guest was annie drehan(sp) the wife of the late carl sagan who has an entertainment company that specializes in space. she worked on a music project 20 years ago when voyageur went up- she put together a recording to 27 pieces that best defined the world music scene- along with images of man and woman that were physically neutral rather than 'correct'. congress at the time told her that if she included full frontal it would not be sent- 'congress will not fund the sending of smut into space........' 20 years later, an artist named joe davis, who has gotten himself hooked up with MIT is working on a project to correct the omissions- called poetica vagina. he has digitally recorded vaginal contractions, and linked them to the 45 or so sounds in the english language, and is transmitting these vaginal poems into space..........he is also working on an e-coli transmission project. each space flight discards solid waste, containing e-coli, into the great void, and aliens may encounter mankind by its refuse. joe davis is simply transmitting the e-coli genetic code into space in case aliens are out there searching for us through our intestinal bacteria.........this guy is either quite brilliant or quite mad.....

on the other hand, i offered my youngest child a piece of this delicious watermelon as a treat before bed- sent her out the deck with a wedge and told her to throw the rind into the compost pile when she was done- she came right back in, confused as to how one eats watermelon without a spoon.......somehow life's simple pleasures are lost on those whop lack the instinct to put the face directly to the food.......

lastly, speaking of red hair, i have a box of auburn rinse that i almost put in my hair before i went to europe last winter. maybe next time.........i can see myself as an upity redhead.......

ok, so june flew by and we are already in july. with the school return date at august 13, these kids have only 6 weeks, barely, left of summer. they will have to play fast, read fast, and sleep fast to get it all in before they go back to school.