looking really good on paper......

ok, so i filled out my first job application in what....22 years.....and i must say....i look really good on paper.......having actually delivered the application.....i am somewhat sceptical.......i was not impressed by the first person i met when i walked in the door.......but do i have to be?......for a well-paying job that is not only 18 minutes from my house.....BUT is also on tap for chinese carryout on my way home........now that is a particulalr job perk...one that may not come up during an interview........

serial readership..............

ok, so my obsession with sitemeter continues........and so does my amusement/amazement at the timezones/web addresses/domains of serial readers.............speaking of domains.......what sort of person has his own domain.......named presumably after himself.....no dot-com......just a name.....for a domain...........curious.......this 'fellow' has logged on several times int he past few days.....and then there is the disney reader.......somebody at disney.com is not taking care of mickey.....he is reading the meanmamma........this just makes me chuckle out loud.................and then there are the others....attbi.....for example........as if these people know who they are....i did not know that i was logged on as qwest until i started tracking my own web traffic............the bottom line....i am enormously diverted................as elizabeth bennet would say..............

1000 words a day.............

ok, so my eldest child popped in from lexington....and after a little chinese carryout.......he settled in to advise me that i will never be a serious writer until i can commit to 1000 words a day..................gentle readers.....this is the child who....does not read my blog, on general principal......and......therefore has no idea just how much writing i do in an average day......whilst blogger has no actuall word-count...............imagine a pause here....i am counting the words typed so far.......finger to the screen. mind you.....so i can keep track......oh my.......so this blog will only have about 100 words.......so i have to blog 10 times to meet this quota........either that, or i will have to double up on words so that only 5 entries are necessary......and then none of these words are necessarily directed toward a plot............i do have that secret blog.....i could be working out plot lines there.......hmmmmmm..........so many words....so little time.................

easily amused......

ok, so i believe that born again middle aged baseball fans may be the new voting block for the next election........the new soccer moms, if you will........this evening.....home alone for a time.....i entertained myself by voting the 25 vote maximum allowed by mlb.....why?......because i could,.....that's why............and because i checked the voting totals so far....and decided there were far too many yankees...and far too few redsox.......curious what a sense of power on-line voting imparts............if only the national election were so simplified......a glass of wine.....the ballot on-screen...............push submit.........and on to the next 24 ballots........only in america..............

post # 1500

ok, so who would have thought that i would have 1500 things to say.....subjects to ponder.......memories to muse upon.......wrongs to rant about........i am grateful that blogger has a search feature........i can make sure that i have not repeated my stores too many times.......in truth, i can name only a handful of brave souls who have read each and every one of those numerous posts....thanks for your support......

time zones.....

ok, so my fascination with my sitemeter continues.........i am currently perplexed as to how viewers can change time zones overnight.........most often it is central time zone in the evening.......and by morning the same reader will be eastern time zone........and this same reader has been both windows xp and mac within a few hours but with the same internet address.........which essentially leads me to doubt the accuracy of any of the information provided by the sitemeter service.......ah well........at least somebody reads it.........even if under mysterious circumstances........

the visit.....

ok, so the visit is almost over........and i have so many mixed, but not-unblogged...emotions about it.........my daughter traveled many hours yesterday to meet her birth mother's mother.........and when i asked her the name of this person......my daughter could not tell me.....because it had never occurred to her to ask...and/or never occurred to her birth mother to tell her......or to the grandmother to announce it..........as a person enamored of genealogy i am astounded by this behavior......but neither surprised nor angered.......what i can tell you about this visit....is that i am probably the only one who has a problem with it....i am the one who is basically judgmental, elitist, and close-minded..........and i have to take this into consideration when friends ask 'how is it going'..........maybe i can be my own support group.....'my name is kc-w, and i am an intolerant bitch........'

the notebook(s)......

ok, so last night...when i was searching for my transcripts.....i came across a box of notebooks.......6-7 notebooks.....dating from my senior year in high school and ending sometime in the grad school years...........curious....that i could forget that i used to keep a journal of sorts.......bad poems....... novel notes......there is a sheaf of loose yellow paper that contain bits of a novel with a name too banal to disclose......i have not read any of them closely...though i suspect that my mother read them thoroughly before she 'found' them during her move to danville....another day perhaps.....i will share a poem written by a friend on an envelope at a joe walsh concert......on march 9, 1975

you only know
as far as you go
and nothing is left in the way
the moon leaves the sky
and the stars start to cry
til the sun comes around
with the day


and another, written on the flap...

off and gone and far beyond the Walsh familiar skies
it all comes back from distant tracks
and Joe's to know you're why.........

he was a morose fellow.......it was not a date, by the way...just a lot of people from the dorm complex........for a short time he would leave crytpic poetry in my mailbox.......

anyway...back to the notebooks.......they read like blogs......but, then gentle readers.....you already saw that coming............

misty morning.......

ok, so i have mentioned this before.....raved and ranted about it actually......but it is worth bringing up again.......the best part of about living on a lake is sitting on the back deck, with a cup of coffee, reading the newspaper at the table covered by a cloth that matches the chairpad.......with mist rising up from the surface of the water.......and a dog or two beneath me feet.....and the cat preening closeby........the only way things could get better than that would be the opportunity to go back to bed and not to work........

transcripts.....

ok, so i found the transcripts.......after much searching.....i found so much more...pictures, letters, certificates.....documents......and that is why the search took so long....so much to sit and read......but i found what i was looking for,,,,,,,

home alone.....

ok, so i am home...and nobody else is home...and this is happening much too often.........our daughter has gone to indiana to meet her birth-grandmother.....and our middle child is down the road at governor's scholars...where he should recieve a note asking him to meet with the french professor on thursday at 10:00 am to discuss his taking a senior level french class at centre as a senior in hs........for the record, scw...the registrar called today and i gave him your schedule for the week......he will contact professor wyatt...........i am unused to being home alone......and after reading the local paper....i am reading a mystery with a transparent plot............and thinking about searching for my college transcripts so i can apply for the clinical nutritionist job currently available 1 county over.....about 7 miles.........i am over-qualified....but it is close............

three dog night......

ok, so this little bit on-line today brought back memories...of riding arounbd in my mom's burgundy corvair....after we got off work at teh bowling alley....with christy campbell freese whatever.........the last i heard she was living in florida running a group of nursing homes..........but when i hear three dog night......especially one......or joy...i will always think of you............

the new new yorker is almost here..........

ok, so the new yorker will not be here for several more days.......even though it is printed in danville, ky.....not 5 miles from my house.....i almost never get it until thursday or friday....whilst the content has been online since monday.........i have oft remarked that this magazine is one of my main pleasures in life.........an aside.....i had to explain just today at the library......who was suggesting soy shakes as a remedy for hot flashes...that i do not like sweet milk shakes....whether they are chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry.....nor do i like 'bars' of any kind.........i do not find pleasure in the taste, the texture.....and....it is only in danville that women my age feel free to discuss menopause while checking out books..........i was flattered, by the way, that these women were surprised that i was old enough..........anyway.....back to the new yorker.........i just love the cartoons.......they are so insightful.......so frank.........

welcoming the pentagon....

ok,so this morning, someone from pentagon.mil read 3 pages of my blog through the archives.....for a grand total of 59 seconds.......which means they did not really read it closely, or read the best parts.......and i am pretty certain that the reader was not my sibling.......he would have read the latest entries.......but still i am honored to have been discovered by the pentagon......while it is still the pentagon rather than the ronald reagan center for world-wide dominance.....or thereabouts........

liberal bull(....).....

ok, so a respected blogger recently noted that she was unable to see a notable piece of liberal bullshit because it was sold-out.......gentle readers........one can only speak lightly of liberalism when one has not slogged through the oppresive 80's.....when 'l' was an evil word.......i applaud michael moore for his courage is risking everything he holds dear to bring this film to the screen.......he could have sat back and munched bonbons paid for by his columbine film..........and made no effort to co-opt the 2004 election..........and i give him much credit for how far he has come on so meagre a budget...........of course.....the dubya-bush administration fueled the project for no charge at all............

hot flashes.....

ok, so the funny paper in the lexherald leader features for better or for worse....and the heroine.....is having a hot flash....which wakes her up....so she cannot sleep......and she she is annoyed her spouse can sleep through this....so she gets up and moves to the couch...but he cannot sleep when he wakes up and finds her gone.......gentle readers......this really made my day....when reality cartoons strike home.....too bad that reality tv is such a load of shit.........now...when the hot ladies of primetime start having hot flashes.................then i would find it all interesting...........

stepford scholars......

ok,so today at governor's scholar's parents info session....we heard a nasty crack about laundry and sons.......the assumption that if we had sons attending...they may not do laundry in the 5 weeks of the session.............and i have a graver concern........that the females i saw registering for gsp were of the pseudo-neo-post stepford connection.....and looked too prissy to be real scholars........i hope that i am wrong.....that these females are...in fact.....radical feminists ready to take back the reality that is their birthright from 70's sacrifices..........and that they will be serious students rather than the alternative................just an observation...............

the 'p'word........

ok, so i was not going to blog on this subject, but every where i turn on-line there are references to this.....and because....as my mother would attest....it is nature.......we must report what is natural regardless...............oh.......my............

the 'f'' word.........

ok, so i have become a slave to public television today......and in addition to a dithering show that featured a master craftsman making a blanket chest while we watched..voyeurism never had it so good..........i sat enthralled by the victory garden.......from boston, mass........today's episode, filmed who knows when....included the annual beacon hill garden tour, which has a 75-year history...............and this is where the 'f' word comes in....the commentator had so many 'f' words...it was hard to keep track....fabulous, fantastic, fluid, foliage, flora, feature (as in water....), forced (as in bulbs....), foundation (as in plantings), well....you get the picture..............and all of these gardens were absolututely to-die-for (another f......).......go figure...........

governor's scholar......

ok, so my middle child leaves home today for a 5-week stint as a governor's scholar........and though we are only driving him across town.....it is still 5 weeks......and parents are only allowed to 'visit' campus on july 10.......i have offered the use of the restaurant washing machine for saturday mornings......trc is within the legal 'walking distance/perimeter' for scholars on centre campus........church is also within the legal limit.......but all of these options are up to him.......he is probably looking forward to 5 weeks away from everything except the task at hand....learning russian......and experiencing college life...........and meeting other smart-kids......the general gist of governor's scholars is to entice the best and the brightest in the state to take a closer look at kentucky schools......and hopefully to choose a ky college.....uk offers free rides to governor's scholars........and other colleges 'make it worth it' in some way.......ah well.....i just have to get over this pre-emptynest angst............

video record.........

ok, so my middle child has spent many hours of late interviwing my mother on videotape.......not for a school project, but for his own personal interest.............somewhere in this house is the audio tape i made of my grandfather broughton.....from cleveland, ohio..........on which he describes ty cobb as a drunkard and tells about the day he stopped at the barbershop on the way home from school to have his blond curls cut off.........i was a poor interveiwer.......being young and naive.....so i did not know to ask him .....was he a klan member?.......and did he have black kinfolk?...and how could a family who ran an underground railroad stop have gotten so far off track in 2-3 generations......ah well.....when my mother's cousin was in town 2 years ago.....my mother was not surprised when cousin bruce mentioned that his grandfather.......had a brother who married a black woman...that would also be my mother's grandfather........my mother went so far as to say that there were black broughtons at ohio university when she was in college, and that she wondered if they were kin........and she recalled a family of black folk who came to sunday night supper a few times......and she wondered if they were kin.......but she never asked............and so we will never know....because we are too shy to ask the right questions...............

things you shouldn't have to say out loud.........

ok,so for the record......one should not have to tell an adult that is it illegal and dangerous to ride in the back of a pickup truck...with your child,......or anybody elses...........

more daily reasons....

ok, so i have taken the time to read through back-issue daily reasons....this is from somewhere around day 20..

President Bush's 2004 official election campaign sells clothing made in Myanmar. This is in direct violation of Bush's own trade embargo against the country, one of the world leaders in sex trafficking, human rights abuses, and narcotics production. The US is currently experiencing the worst textile industry slump since 1953, due in part, to inadequately enforced trade laws.

what can you say about a guy who breaks his own rules........and appears to be able to make a few more bucks of profit off the backs of foreign sweat shops when folks in conservative central ky would probably have been honored to make his lousy t-shirts.........

mid-visit report...

ok, so the visit is only hours old...but i am already aged by the experience...........

pro-choice.....

ok, so just when about to dispair of the apathy of the youth in america on key issues......i was delighted/amazed that a new-hire was so vocal today with me and gail about choice........'i am an undecided voter.....but not about choice....nobody owns my body except me....' or words to that effect...........which reminds me of my spouse's conservative family.........how can they be pro-bush when their grandmother died by complications to an illegal abortion.............now my mother-in-law lived to deny this story.........this story that she told me in all earnestness...........but that was her way............so how is it that her other children do not see the need for legal options.................

indecent exposure........

ok, so the headlines in my hometown newspaper this evening are about how the members of a near-by baptist church are standing by their pastor recently arrested for indecent exposure............ok, so i do not need to know how someone local can be arrested....but janet jackson was not arrested......a person is either covered or uncovered and not both at once..........and i support these people for supporting their pastor.....let's just hope he could not find an open stall and went outdoors to relieve himself......that may be his only rrcourse...........

three time zones?.......

ok, so someone out there has read my blog...directly...and not via archives/search engine......from 3 time zones.....including atlantic standard time.......who lives there......in nova scotia?....or cuba?......and then listens in from central time zone....and then eastern standard time.............either someone who has access to a mega-system computer.......or someone who is driving a convertible cadillac aimlessly across america, and is on a roll....like thelma and louise.....gentle 3-zone reader.....watch out for that last canyon.................

goatherding...........

ok,so the new gourmet magazine came today....and though i have been in the restaurant business for 4 solid years....i have never looked at recipes and thought...wow.....i could make something like this and sell it........but today...i read a brief piece and thought....wow.....i should learn how to make goat cheese................to fill you in on the details.....there was a block in the 1st quarter section....usually devoted to blocks about this or that.......featuring farming internships/apprenticeships.......this is gourmet's annual farming/foodsource issue.......and there is a farm somewhere in ky that focuses on the making of goat cheese, as well as other organically grown produce, that is looking for apprentices for their growing season, but would consider short-termers who would pitch a tent and learn the art of making goat cheese..............gentle readers......if ever i was to consider farming/manufacture of any kind...it would be involving cheese...........cheese is something for which i feel true passion.....my earilest memory of my hometown is in a swiss-owned cheese house....in the curing room.....which smelled nutty....and tasting a bit of cheese cut from a huge wheel......the floor was wet concrete........and the air was moist.......why could not someone make cured goat cheese in a similar manner......of course, i would have to win the lottery to buy the horse farm down the road.......and buy goats.......i do not think i could actually eat the goats.........that was the worst part of cold mountain, by the way...........i am too squeamish for eating goats, however.....i have read that there is a huge market for goats in the islamic community during festival months...........anyway.....i have shifted my lottery fantasy......to include goatherd/cheesemaker............as long as i had people who could milk while i traveled................

no where near nirvana.....

ok,so this is an extra blog for today...and nowhere near the record of 10 blogs on june 16.....james joyce day...........yes...i must have been channeling stream of conciousness.......but...the dishes are done.....the porch is tidy.....what else can one do with one's time in this non-50's stepford wife era............in fact...at this very moment i am the only person home......though my youngest has left the televsion on........and the dishwasher is churning....lots of backround noise......we received an email today from a friend trying to get up a 2-week hiking trip through the french and swiss alps, maybe sometime next august.........a crack was made at supper about people making plans when they may not have a steady job...........it is only the prospect of not having a steady job that allows me to dream of doing such a trip.......nobody gives 2 weeks off these days..........especially in a row....it will only be possible if i am still subbing...or doing odd stuff..........and what is wrong with that if the bills are paid, and i have a decent ira/tax sheltered anuity account........

wimbledon

ok, so the mm has an affinity for wimbledon tennis............depsite the fact that she does not actually play.......just bear with me......growing up....chrissie evert was the queen...everybody wanted to be be chrissie...and then this foreigner named martina wanted to horn in on chrissie's glory.......chrissie and martina...so lovely to watch on tv.......so many afternoons i tuned in to see who would prevail..us open...the french....austrialia,virginia slims......and wimbledon........both made the game seem so effortless..........when i woke up from anesthesia after my ectopic pregnancy...chrissie evert was bowing goodbye to centre court after losing to martina......my 3-day recovery in-hospital is remarkable because i got to watch the remainder of wimbledom tennis...on cable....with nobody else trying to change the channel................when we took our 2 boys to england for the first time.....the train stopped at wimbledon...right in from of the tennis facility...on our way to hampton court...............and so today...when i checked the standings online.....i was saddened to see that martina...at the ripe old age of 47, was out of wimbledon singles.......heavens sakes.....you have to applaud a woman who at nearly my age will attempt such a feat..........chrissie gave up years ago to do fluff-commentary...but not martina.....she still plays doubles........bless her heart.............

annual visit.....

ok, so my third child's birth mother comes tommorrow, along with her current husband.......for a week's visit.......we agreed to these terms...and we're sticking to them.....but this sense of duty does not take away from the apprehension such a visit entails.........these are the days when i wish that i could press the skip button on the dvd remote.........and just be beyond......the whole affair brings out the worst in me.......and these days of hormonal dysfunction....the worst is pretty frightening.......the truth is.....we really like the current spouse....he is a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy.......and seems to be a positive force in the birth mother's life......so why cannot i not bring myself to invite them to stay here, rather than rent a hotel room.......and why cannot i bring myself to let our daughter stay in their hotel room for the duration.............i just cannot do this.......too many past issues........i suppose.....not be aired in this venue.........it is our job to protect and nurture this child until such time as she is legally and emotionally ready to move on..........and we are not nearly there yet..........

one more stone fence drives away......

ok, so on my way home from work, i saw from a distance a woman walking slowly along the shoulder of the road......and thought it strange given the location.....no houses close-by....and then the reality unfolded........on the shoulder across the road was parked a little suburu wagon/hatchback...with the hatch up.......and she was carrying a few flat rocks to place carefully with the others already layered on a red-print quilt.......she was systematically......hauling away a stone fence built by slaves 200-260 years ago.......probably without permission.....from a piece of property that i could not even guess the ownership despite the fact that i have traveled this 4-mile stretch most days for 22 years.......for starts......she is taking a huge risk....as it is snake season....and snakes like to hole-up in cool stone fences..........second......if the owner did happen along, she could be prosecuted for theft........and third.....the shoulder is narrow...and she was at the top of a hill with little leeway for any car trying to avoid her as she crossed the road.......gentle readers.....when i had stone walks....many of those stones came from creek beds.....from construction sites.....but never from an existing stone fence.......even in poor repair they are our heritage...........i regret that i did not stop the car and berate her for her ignorance.............of course.....given the number of layers of rock she already had in her car.......she may just damage her suspension....which should cost her big time............what goes around comes around........

swim meet.....

ok, so yesterday was the first home swim meet that wasn't rained out........and it was a misery to attend.......to see any of our daughter's races required standing in the blistering sun, which seemed as intense at 6:30 pm as it did at noon.......resisting the urge to coach is also tough.......mostly because to yell at your child...'quit looking at the swimmers in the other lanes because it wastes time'.......will not improve her time at all if she is swimming in a race at the time.........nor will be helpful when the race is over because it comes off as criticism....as in 'i cannot do anything right according to you......'.......so we keep these observations to ourselves and hope that the paid coach notices that our child continually looks to see where everybody else is during a race.......and this distraction puts her further and further behind........too bad there isn't a swimming specific drug that helps this problem....now that woudl be useful technology in this 'we have a drug for every occassion' world..........

daily reasons to dispatch bush.....

ok, so i wish i had thought of this....but mcsweeney's is just too clever...........

voices from heaven.......

ok, so this morning after i dropped off cayle at her elementary-to-middle-school transition program......i ambled on into work....as i was getting out of the van....at about 8:20.....i could hear someone yelling......'hey.....i want to order.....are you in there.....i want a blast.......did you hear me......'....i din't even have to turn around to know what was going on............there is a baskin-robbins drivethru right beside our parking lot........and someone was barking into the order-frame......at 8:20 am,....as if anybody was there at 8:20 am...to make a cappy blast. or whatever..........i suppose in our need-filling economy people believe that everybusiness is open at every hour to fill every whim/need.........by the time i had gotten all of my stuff out of the van, and had loaded in the recycling.....the fellow decided to move on to other drivethrus...........

crank calls.......

ok, so we were slow today at lunch....and susie, our retired-schoolteacher hostess entertained us by crank-calling......christian bookstores........the conversation went something like this.....susie-i am looking for the new clinton book....are you sold out or do you still have one more copy?'......bookstore (bs) 'no we do not have that book'....susie-'are you sold out, or havn't received shipment?' bs- no-we do not stock that book....susie-'will you be getting any in this week...or can i order one from you?' bs- no, we are not stocking that book, nor ordering that book.....'it was too funny..........for the record....maddie's books sold out the 10 they ordered, and they are almost out of the next 10 they ordered yesterday...having promised them to callers........so much for the 100,000 copies that barnes and noble sold the first day.........it may not be a piece of scholarly mastery.....but.......i really miss the clinton whitehouse.....despite his infidelity......the clinton years were good years for me personally, for me politically......for me socially.......at least clinton didn't lie about anything that would hurt anybody except himself, his partner, or his family.........unlike dubya.....whose string of falsehoods has us up to our ears in middle-eastern chaos.......susie and i have talked about buying plaster dogs....and painting them yellow.....and placing them on our porches.........get-it...yelllow dog....democrats..........nyuck, nyuck........

what a drag it is getting old.....

ok, so mm now wakes up regularly at night, in an uncomfortable heated-over state.......i am not yet convinced that this is a hot flash, because it seems to last forever....anyway....once awake.....i cannot seem to get back to sleep.......and i seem to think my most hopeless thoughts......from silly things to big ticket issues.......and so here i am, unrested, looking 58 rather than 48.......and feeling much older........mick jagger, who sang the lead lines.....he must be over 60 by now and nearing 70....hope he sleeps better and feels better than this............

vote up to 25 times?...................

ok, so i finally figured out how to vote online for the all-star game....and was assured that i could vote up to 25 times.......25 times.......i could take them up on that in a presidential election year....but for baseball..............my couldn't recall now who i voted for the first go-around......is it fair? 25 votes per person who who can figure out how to vote...........so lopsided..............

central time zone.......

ok, so there is a serial reader to my blog who checks in on central time.......which i understand to be between the mississippi and the mountains....who do i know there.........? i have a sorority sister who lives in texas, but she and i have not spoken since scw had the chicken pox and we were coming home from the west, and she was unavailable.....of course, this was 15 years ago...........and it is high time we made up.........especially since no one since has had her particular brand of humor...........she found amusement in trolls, of all things, and i always think of her when trolls are discussed...........trolls make me laugh, by the way......anyway...i fantasize that the is somewhere listening in...........

meats......

ok, so there were german visitors scheduled for supper at trc....and i made/planned a meal made up of my memories....for starts...a meats platter like the one that scw had at the hotel silberdistal in lambsheim ( the town of my great grandfather....).......it was many kinds of cold meats and pates...with pickles and a shot of schnapps...the eldest madame stephan who was present when we visited 3 years ago also ordered this platter....and she downed the schnapps quickly.......anyway...i was challenged to put together a german menu for these folks....and i went with what i knew......the meats/pickled product plates.......then butter-sauteed trout, and sweet/sour red cabbage.......creamed spinach ( my own recipe) and spatzle...then my grandmother's apple kuchen.....mit schlagg...........ah well....i am not there for the dinner......but i hope it goes well.....as it turns out...these visitors are from the old east germany...no chance to swap stories about lambsheim.........

ferris bueller's day off.......

ok, so the song that is in my head today was first parodied in ferris bueller's day off.....cameron sang it to himself as he lay in bed...listening to ferris on the machine......when israel was in egypt's land...let my cameron go......he sang.......in my head...it is let my kathy go.....i want to move on now, not later...........

When Israel was in Egypt's Land,
Let my people go,
Opressed so hard they could not stand,
Let my people go.

Chorus
Go down, Moses,
Way down in Egypt's Land.
Tell ol' Pharoah,
Let my people go.
Thus saith the Lord, bold Moses said,
Let my people go,
If not, I'll smite your first-born dead,
Let my people go.


there are many more stanzas and choruses, but i am too tired for these to sully my brain......i stick with the first stanza, and repeat, repeat, repeat.................

nice sentiment......

ok, os i liked this poem, especially the last few lines....by the way, my mother was a broughton.....maybe we are distantly related....

Poem: "Having Come This Far," by James Broughton, from Packing up for Paradise. © Black Sparrow Press. Reprinted with (w/0) permission.

Having Come This Far

I've been through what my through was to be
I did what I could and couldn't
I was never sure how I would get there

I nourished an ardor for thresholds
for stepping stones and for ladders
I discovered detour and ditch

I swam in the high tides of greed
I built sandcastles to house my dreams
I survived the sunburns of love

No longer do I hunt for targets
I've climbed all the summits I need to
and I've eaten my share of lotus

Now I give praise and thanks
for what could not be avoided
and for every foolhardy choice

I cherish my wounds and their cures
and the sweet enervations of bliss
My book is an open life

I wave goodbye to the absolutes
and send my regards to infinity
I'd rather be blithe than correct

Until something transcendent turns up
I plash in my poetry puddle
and try to keep God amused

what i want to do when i grow up.....

ok, so somebody today asked me just what i wanted to do with the rest of my life.....should some sainted individual/group of investors see fit to set kcw free...........i was thinking more of who i want to be...........rick steves comes to mind......as does anna quindlan..peter mayle,...and david eggars.......all writers...........or traveler/writers...........the problem with this fantasy is one of logistics.........i cannot sit at this computer terminal for more than 20 or so minutes before my back hurts........and so i am a serial surfer/brief blogger...........a little here or there....not for very long....decidedly not long enough to really get down to business......i gave my laptop to andrew when he went back to school last year....so he could write......and i will not ask for it back.......i will just hope that someone has a discarded out-of-date windows 98 kind of laptop in a closet that they no longer need........and that the price is right when it comes my way..........until then i will work in 20 minute snatches..........

the snapshot......

ok, so my sister-in-law had a 'snapshot' of george and laura on her refrigerator......it really looked like something she just picked up from the walmart film-developing counter........and so we asked her about it.....out of idle curiosity......'oh, she said.....the republicans sent it when they asked for money........but i didn't sent them any.........well, that much goes without saying with my sister-in-law....but the snapshot has disturbed me........so many gullible folks out there.....who might just believe that george sent them personally a cozy picture of his little family from down at the ranch....where they live out their fine conservative family values every day, and twice on sunday.........and many will surely mail george a check....because his wife is so nice.....or george is so cute......yuck......how can people not see that he is an egomaniac with nothing more on the ball than good ole boy connections............he may be nice.....but in my opinion he is dangerously stupid.........

search engines......

ok, so i am enjoying the veritable daylights out of my sitemeter....which tells not as much as i would like to know about who reads my blog....but enough to be continually entertained and diverted........for instance......my blog was visited today by a person who entered 'ken griffey jr's private life' into his search engine........i did blog about listening to the red's play in hopes of hearing the big 500th hit......and so his name was cached in with my blog.....ha....as if i know or care about his private life......and then i was visited by someone in new zealand looking up jan ulrich's racing schedule....why? because i blogged about the tour de france.....and jan ulrich's name was cached in with my blog.........i do wish i knew jan......i could get his autograph for my spouse......and then there are the people looking for porn......from places at greenwich mean time....or baghdad/moscow time......searching for ...get this........photos of the mamma of girls........ha....i should have directed them to our pesky 'granny site' that won't leave our history.....after seeing broads they may sour on seeing anymore american babes.........there was actually someone looking for 2fmeanmamma...whatever that means........they were also greenwich mean time.......and someone in mountain time zone was looking for 'handdrawn'.....which rings no bells as far as i can recall.........i must be easily amused...............

buckeye news about bobby....

ok, so startling news from columbus, ohio.......osu, my alma mater......is in the market for a new head men's basketball coach.....and they may be considering another grand alum...bobby knight............oh my....he played on osu's championship 1960 team as well and the '61 and '62 final four teams.....i only know this from the newspaper....not from memory.........oh my.....from indiana...to parts unknown...to osu......oh my..........

white wedding......

ok, so i am going to report on this wedding in the most positive way that i can........maybe by the numbers.....1- the happy couple kate and joe......clearly meant for each other.....also the number of blue jaguar's my sister-in-law lisa now owns....i am jealous....also the number of veggie trays set out on the 'appetizer' table (the caterer's note said veggies for 50...250 were present....) also the number of boxes of donuts set out on my sister-in-law's counter at the brunch today........2-the number of times we got lost/turned around...despite the fact that my spouse is a native to cincinnati and i lived there for 4 years.....2-is also the number of catering staff people who doled out meat at the buffet.........no comment on that from this caterer..... also the number of new 'stories' i heard from extended family of 23 years......they were great stories, by the way......3-the number of tables doled out to the weber part of the family.......also the number of cheese trays i helped lisa set up just before the reception.....do not ask why we were setting out homemade cheese trays when a caterer had been hired......also the number of kegs of beer behind the bar.......4- the number of starch side dishes on the buffet......and apparently the number of bottles of white wine purchased by my sister-in-law(the mother-of-the-bride) in ky despite the fact that lisa's husband is a wine wholesaler..........luckily, lisa brought a cooler with better wine,for family, just in case.....)....5- the number of bridesmaids, the number of groomsmen.....6+- the number of christmas wreaths that decorated the tables........and matched the pineneedle/pinecone motif of the wedding cake.....AND the number of christmas wreaths that my spouse declined (politely) to take home with us in case we might want to use them in catering.....priceless..........the chat i had with the father-of-the-bride...who has been estranged from the rest of us since my mother-in-law's funeral........i am so glad to have gotten all that behind the two of us, at least.......also priceless...the chance to catch up with my spouse's siblings....who i basically love and adore....despite number 1-6..........

personality tests....

ok, so i took the what sort of movie are you test....

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

...intresting, as i have never seen the movie...because it is someplace i am not ready to go yet.........

the wedding....

ok, so 4 out of 5 of us will be piling into the car this afternoon to go to cousin kate's wedding in cincinnati.....and the big question will surely be.....where is acw?........and my answer will be...he had to work....and then i will change the subject........when children no longer live at home.....they can no longer be cajoled into things like attending cousin kate's wedding........they can barely be urged gently into coming home for birthdays, mother's day...etc.......ah well....such is the process of letting them leave the nest.........

high maintenance pets.....

ok, so our pets are becoming incredibly needy......curiously helpless at times......i was awakened this morning by the cat howling downstairs........she was sitting primly at her food dish, and i was surprised to discover that it was full, not empty.....she immediately started eating....just wanted an audience for her breakfast ritual, i suppose......then the dog started crying at the backdoor.......wanting in....this from the dog who would just sit quietly at the door.....expecting someone inside to just know that he wanted in......or out......now he is just senile enough that he will sit and howl on the deck.....like he cannot remember how to get in the house........and the big yellow dog?.....right now he is at basecamp 2/next door getting his nicotine fix, eating heartily....he'll come home about supper time here........big baby..the good news is that they all appear to be getting along these days......

radio....who knew........

ok,so i have listened to ken griffey, jr's last 2 outs at bat.....whilst in the bathtub...listening on radio........gentle readers....in these enlightened times.....we forget the simple pleasures......like radio braodcasts......poor junior has yet to get his big hit.....and i heard it all.....and it reminded me of my grandpa broughton who lay in the lawn chair on the screened-in porch...in the dark....smoking his cigar...listening to his indians on radio.....' a swing and a miss.....'.......into the dark night....................gosh.......

a serious book to read......

ok, so i found a book to read at the library yesterday......incidents in the rue langier.....by anita brookner......i have purchased another book by the same author...twice......hotel du lac.....which won the booker prize.......anyway.....the first part is about how the narrator finally gets around to reading her mother's diary....and how it sheds light on the woman who said so little during her life........curious.......as i have read through recently letters that both grandmothers wrote to me when i was in college......they say little about the women they were........my grandmother crown never learned to drive....yet voted democrat despite the republicans who drove her to the polls.......i have her oak buffet......and if need be...i could probably make homemade noodles on my counter using the method i absorbed from watching her years ago.............i have yet to figure out how she made her orange juice cookies........anyway...i clearly remember her berating my father......in the year my mother'went back to work' for not doing more to get supper on the table.......she said...'herb.....if you get home first you COULD put on the potatoes....'.......and i can say honestly that i never really knew her.........and then there was my grandmother clara adele stephan broughton....quite the spoiled child....being the youngest...and 20 years younger than her oldest sibling.........i could say that i learned the art of drama from her......she could really put on a show if she desired.........but i digress .......my memories of my grandmothers are just that.... memories....nothing concrete in print...nothing definitive.......yet i have left a body of work in my blog. 1450 blogs.......that really does not contain my most personal thoughts...because i am not likely to disclose my most personal thoughts in a public venue........so my children will have to discern my most private thoughts by reading between my lines..........ah well.....1450 blogs...and still no honesty..........can they say that they knew me well?..........

lost teeth......

ok, so this afternoon my octagenarian doorman lost his teeth.......or his plate, to be specific.....and literally went through 4 bags of trash looking for them until he found them........happily, we suggested he put on rubber gloves............

calling all investors.....

ok, so my partner has made it plain that he is not limited to the 3 current investor prospects...that any and all potential investors are welcome to come forth and assure the continuance of trc.........just wanted you to know.........

relief......

ok, so there is relief in my mind as i write this, but also worry....as at least one of these backers has to come through for me to move on.......

out of the closet.....

ok, so mm is coming out of the closet, but this has more to do about life than about preference.......i have agreed to sell my part of the restaurant to my partner.........and i will do something else with the rest of my life.........as i just told my mother on the phone.....i didn't want her to hear it at choir practice.....i wanted her to hear it from me.......for the record....this work is too tiring for someone of my age......not that 48 is old.....but it is old for someone who could take her partner's offer and move on.......he has 3 potential backers......all of whom could fiscally fund the restaurant as it should have been funded from the start...we started with $2000 in the bank.....and have come along way since then.....but....i am physically ready to do something else with my time.......especially since so many people i know have died young of late.......and with my dad's early senility to keep in mind.....i have no tintention of becoming senile whilst making tomato celery soup.........so.....for those reader's who live close.....i would appreciate a last glass of wine with you at trc before i say adieu.................

a poignant poem.....

ok, so this was on writer's almanac this morning.....must have been the poet's birthday.........i like this sentiment....

Poem: "Album," by Ron Padgett, from You Never Know. © Coffee House Press.

Album

The mental pictures I have of my parents and grandparents and my childhood are beginning to break up into small fragments and get blown away from me into empty space, and the same wind is sucking me toward it ever so gently, so gently as not even to raise a hair on my head (though the truth is that there are very few of them to be raised). I'm starting to take the idea of death as the end of life somewhat harder than before. I used to wonder why people seemed to think that life is tragic or sad. Isn't it also comic and funny? And beyond all that, isn't it amazing and marvelous? Yes, but only if you have it. And I am starting not to have it. The pictures are disintegrating, as if their molecules were saying, "I've had enough," ready to go somewhere else and form a new configuration. They betray us, those molecules, we who have loved them. They treat us like dirt.

banner day....

ok, so yesterday was a big blogging day, which essentially means i was having a rough day and needed the therapy of writing down my thoughts in order to get by....make no mistake......writing down thoughts, especially stray thoughts, has been so freeing to my brain.......and a comfort.....once written they can be revisited and rethought, and possibly understood on a manner not possible on the day in question.......i also had a banner day figuring out my sitemeter.......there were at least 6 repeat readers yesterday.......those who entered the site via the direct web address, and not through archives...which meant that they either located the blog through a search engine, or happened upon it by searching for a word or phrase.....speaking of words or phrases.....we now have a filthy site stuck in our history because somebody typed in a witty phrase as a web address.........i am assured that it was not a deliberate search for porn, because the phrase is a recurring catch phrase.....part of a set of phrases that are frequently used these days in our house.....and certainly not one that i would have bet would lead to porn.......and now i cannot get rid of it......it will have to fade as it is disused,.....i suppose.........suffice it to say....i had no idea that there were women who would do things like that........oh my.......anyway, i won't link it, as i link so many other things, like cartoons or articles......that i enjoy.....gentle readers......i trust that you are as entertained by reading this blog as i am amused and amazed by writing it......

break with tradition......

ok, so i broke with my own personal tradition, and actually read the sitereader help page........and learned that the meter counts as 0 sceonds any reader who only reads the opening page.....which means that hits that i tok for search engines could have been actual readers.....go figure.......

one more blog about in-laws......

ok, so i am going to go on record about my father-in-law, now that i am sitting at a computer screen watching the reds play the rangers, and hoping that ken griffey jr breaks 500 home runs.........nick weber.... had 3 memorable rants.....one was about the hawks that hung out in the median near the georgetown exit......the second was about cars driving north on i-75....he knew they were driving north from florida.......and he was dead-opposed to the tearing down of riverfront stadium to build the new stadium......especially since he lived near the old field.....that they tore down to build riverfront...........crosley field...maybe.........it stood about the same place where the 23.1 mile marker was when i finished my marathon........anyway....it is crazy for one town to have 3 baseball stadium sites in living memory.....but that is cincinnati..........here's hoping that ken griffey jr does his dad proud...............

the pretender......

ok so this song was in my head today....now it is out....

jackson brown.....

I’m going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I’m going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I’ll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I’ll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I’ve been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it’s the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You’ll get up and do it again
Amen

Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there

Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight

I’m going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we’ll fill in the missing colors
In each other’s paint-by-number dreams
And then we’ll put out dark glasses on
And we’ll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We’ll get up and do it again
Get it up again

I’m going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender

i have no idea why......i haven't really thought of that song for 30 years.......

new lows.......

ok, so one of the big 4 networks...(?fox. abc?) intends to launch a show this fall called wife swap............who can make this stuff up.......it may be everyone's fantasy....but my puritanical upbringing forbids me to consider the notion..........i have a hard time contemplating the format........do the newly paired couple fall out in the first episode over the toothpaste...........or the sorting of whites and darks in the laundry........or the taking out of trash......or the purchase of more books.......even used books..............anything less is false and unbelievable........and certainly not worth watching.........my spouse's friends are not attractive in their swapping mode.....as i have known them long enough to see their downsides......and i am quite sure that these enlightened men could not handle the mm............ha.......

a little too late.....

ok, so medicare has agreed to cover the cost of a pet scan for alzheimer's disease......which is a little too late for some.....my dad was totally confused by the time he qualified for medicare.......and had he not retired early, he would have missed out on retirement in it's essentials altogether.....my mother finally figured out something was wrong when they were climbing ayre's rock......i want to do the same....god willing......but i am not sure that i want to know at age 48 that i am getting senile.....ti is one thing to suspect and another thing to actually know......

even more confused........

ok, so i was able to track down my own ip address.......by reading somebody else's blog....and sneaking a peak at her sitemeter.......the blog that i read out of washington dc is quite illuminating......i thought the person involved....was a neo-quasi bimbo...until i read her review of troy, complete with her minor-in-classics opinions.....i was impressed....also by her sitemeter....which includes mostly house.gov.......she is read widely on the hill.........i love it........anyway......my internet access is listed under qwest.....which i took to be a california-based interest access company...given it's website.....until i figured out that there are those in my own community who are metered under qwest......who knew............so i am completely confused as to who reads my blog........somebody with bellsouth......and somebody with qwest..........and somebody with a numbered account(swiss?) who only stayed 15 seconds, but who has been back numerous times without a measured visit.........ah well.....i am learning as i go along...............

confused over cache(ing).........

ok, so exactly what do these search engines do when they blip by my blog for less than a measurable second......is it like a recon plane swooping down low but not actually landing....and hence they take data that isn't recorded as being taken ......photographing of my words by a telephoto lens............leaving no trace....like sherlock holmes and the dog that didn't bark in the night..............i am getting off-track here.......but this is so frustrating..............

a nutrition message....just this once.....

ok, so this is NOT a nutrition blog.....in fact...i seldom talk nor think about nutrition.......mostly because i am discouraged about the new wave of pro-atkins dieters......and am not inclined to go up against the mania.......last night, at our annual twinkie run....a running community race/walk that is based on actual time versus predicted time for a 5k or 10k course.......the twinkie part is just about the traditional dessert course to the post race pot-luck.....anyway....i walked my part of the event with 2 female lexington lawyers.........who had ketosis breath...........gentle readers.....ketosis...or acidosis...is an abnormal metabolic state brought on by a low carb diet.....people in ketosis have breath that smells like fingernail polish remover.......and their blood, when it is so acidic, cannot hold oxygen as efficiently...so they have to breathe quickly to the point of panting.......anyway......i bit my tongue, and made no mention of this...even when they sat with me at dinner....and i could see by their plates that they were on the low carb diet........i kept my comments toward books, marriage, and parenting.....much safer topics than atkins......even when i was the only one in the group still on her first go-around........anyway, back to diet....there was an excellent article in yesterday's time by dr. dean ornish.....who i have had the priviledge to meet.....he has researched and written extensively on lowfat diets for weight loss and reversal of heart disease......i heard him debate THE dr. atkins at the american dietetics association meeting 3-4 years ago.......at which time he unveiled a decade of heart health/weight loss research data involving thousands of people....and dr. atkins revealed that he had only ever studied a group of 6 adolescent boys for 6 months....but they lost weight.......gentle readers.......weight loss with atkins is due to dehydration that comes on because of the need of the body to rid itself of ketones through increased urine output.....the body's metabolic rate slows way down....which explains why people who go on this crazy regime always gain more weight back than they lose......needless to say....we are having leftover pasta salad tonight for dinner because the low carb crazies wouldn't eat it.......i should mention that none of the actual runners are into low carb...they couldn't manage to keep up if they did.......it is only the spouses/roommates/lovers who do such things.....ah well....meanmamma has had her say...............

tears.....

ok, so i am having either an overly emotional day, or i am simply menopausal.....and i like neither prospect......i started crying on the phone talking to my friend joe the produce guy...who expressed surprise that i was griping vehemently about a customer who has bitched daily for the past 2 weeks about something or another.......he said...kathy, you never get mad and you never use the word bitch let alone complain over the phone.....but if this is a sign of what you are like when you are upset i hope i am not there for that day....' he was joking, but i took it personally.....and there you go.....and once i started crying, i couldn't seem to stop.........think about isengard when the dam broke.......i know in my heart that i need to start thinking of positive things.....and look for the glass half-full instead of f..king empty..........but i cannot do so at this little minute............

home.....

ok, so our eldest showed up at the bike shop yesterday morning, deathly sick and needing an appointment at the doctor......by midafternoon he was reportedly home on the couch, taking antibiotics, sipping broth, etc........strep is suspected, and though i understand the overuse of antibiotics, i am glad that the doctor went ahead and prescribed the miracle drug.......i stopped and bought popsicles.....my sick-day food of choice.....they do so soothe a sore throat.......thinking back to my own recent sick-day-off.....i recall the santuary that is one's own sofa.......a true haven when push comes to shove.......another sofa, in another house...somewhere off isn't the same.......

james joyce....

ok,s o james joyce is on my too-read list, but i haven't gotten around to it......for the record....today is the day that joyce immortalized....in fact the hundredth anniversary of june 16, 1904, the day that Leopold Bloom, a Jewish ad salesman who lives on the north side of Dublin wandering around doing errands. , from writer's almanac 'In the morning, he leaves his house on 7 Eccles Street, walks south across the River Liffey, picks up a letter, buys a bar of soap, and goes to the funeral of a man he didn't know very well. In the afternoon he eats a cheese sandwich, feeds some gulls in the Liffey, helps a blind man cross the street, and visits a couple of pubs. He thinks about his job, his wife, his daughter, his stillborn son; he muses about life and death and reincarnation. He knows that his wife is planning to cheat on him that afternoon at his house, and he spends a lot of time thinking about the days when his marriage was happier. ' though the day will be observed around the globe...this year's Dublin 'Bloomsday has been extended into a five-month festival from April to August, full of Joyce exhibitions at museums, plays, songs, reenactments of scenes from Ulysses, academic conferences, and James Joyce look-alike contests. Today, June 16th, thousands of people will retrace the steps of Leopold Bloom as he made his way through the streets and pubs of Dublin.'

in some ways, this book sounds like an elaborate blog.......which essentially traces the writer's steps through both the etheral and the mundane........ironically, with the potential of a worldwide audience i am unlikely to elaborate on personal issues......so mm's blog is at it's root, my life without the details that would make it a joycean novel.......which is ok, because i was really aiming for an austen-like life.........

born-on dates......

ok, so today the budweiser people sent by two delightful octgenarians to check our beer for freshness........they had clipboards, and dutifully noted each unopened case date as well as chilled bottle date......and assured us that the beer would be consumed before the expiration date...for the record......they noted any beer over 70 days old.......i cannot imagine that beer goes bad as noticibly as milk or juice....but i suppose that beermakers do not want to take any chances........

insights from this zen webmaster...........

ok, so i am not really into zen......but being my own personal webmaster is getting interesting.....i finally learned how to install a sitemeter.......so i can tell if anybody actually reads this stuff......and they do...yesterday somebody read 5 pages over three different visits that lasted over 60 minutes....somebody read for 2.5 minutes, somebody for 51 seconds.....and about 12 people glanced at the entry page and moved on.....of course.....i am most upset about those who moved on....what is there not to like-these hits were from all over.....one from south africa......ha! for the record, the sitemeter ingores my own personal 'addresses'.......and is vague about the last three digits of the ip address.......meaning that i know that the extended reader was in town somewhere.....i just know that it was not my own address......either at work or at home........so anonymity is preserved for those readers who crave anonymity.........anyway.......back to the 51 second-hit....it was from a non-commercial server/domain......and not a dot-com place.......curious..........and just how can one savor my glorious prose in just 51 seconds............if i was into zen.....i wouldn't worry myself about these details, now would i?

not going anywhere soon.........

ok, so lack of a viable travel plan makes me sad......and it is not as if i haven't traveled anywhere big this year,.....i am greedy about travel.........i want to always be going somewhere...........and it is not like my life here is boring.......it is just that having trip to look forward to is always a preferable state.......

the kind of stuff that brings tears to your eyes.....

ok, so mm has a soft spot for kindness like this......

suicidal poem by lincoln....?

ok, so this article in this this week's new yorker..........

dress like barbie?.......

ok, so it is the end of the world as we know it........now that mattel is marketing barbie clothing to adult women..........i say, what about us non-barbie types.............maybe that is my niche...designing nice clothing for shorter, plumper ladies.........too bad we don't have our own doll...........

birthday greetings....

ok, so my eldest claims to not read my blog....but i will send him special 20th birthday greetings anyway......hard to believe that this much time has transpired since he was born......we had not decided on a name at the time we went into labor.....and when it was all over, and he was tidied up and ready for a first cuddle, the nurse asked what his name was...and i told her......the name just came from my lips, and once said, we could not take it back.......i like the name, by the way.....i hope my spouse has been as pleased all these years....

tour de france......

ok, so i am enjoying the latest issue of outside magazine....which is dedicated to the tour de france......starts july 3 and i personally cannot wait........my mother tapes each stage on oln...and then we watch it with one day's delay................furiously rushing through the lance suburu commercials.......and trying not to read newspaper or online commentary about the goings-on......this is difficult when big things happen...like jan ulrich having a major wreck......anyway.......i have been around bike racing long enough to know who has been on what team at some point....maybe not the specific year......but at some point.....and this is good.....we sit back with a beer.....and just enjoy the drama........and phil liggett and paul sherwin...the oln commentators....they are a real trip.....for so many years...they are like baseball commentators....they remember every stage of every race......and who did what....it si amazing...........i once dated briefly the food service director at jewish hospital in cincinnati...he was really into baseball....and good food...and he once asked me to both a baseball game and dinner at la maisonette...but i declined...because he was not my type.........and because he apptempted to date all the dietitian interns that came his way.....but that is beside the point.............so...can lance win a 6th time.....can tyler hamilton, who owns an apartment directly above lance's in girona, spain......come through this year....he is, by the way...from the boston area......and used to be a college skier before he took up cycling.......will jan ulrich, the german telecom fellow get by 5 straight 2nd place finishes....to win finally.......and there are so many others who could do it....the basque team folks.....the dutch....and italians.....the french, for heaven's sake...............but lance is in some sort of zone, now that he has divorced his wife and taken up with his hippie-chick girlfriend/rockstar and is living on the edge..............who knows.....regardless...i cannot wait till july 3........

anniversary traditions.....

ok, so i dug out the anniversary glasses just now.....a pair of belle epoque flutes that we received along with a bottle of perrier et jouet from my roommate when we got engaged.....on our 3 week european camping trip/honeymoon( i did say that i was a quasi neo-hippie.....) we went to epernay (sp?) and toured moet and chandon and attempted the same at perrier er jouet, but they don't do tours.....and they don't like to sell their champagne to just anyone....but i explained that we had the glasses.....and the receptionist condescended to sell us 2 bottles.........(we also had several bottles of dom perignon in the car...we paid less than $15 per bottle, by the way....but this was 23 years ago....., and we did not tell her that.......) we came through customs with 9 bottles total...including a few we purchased in pouilly...........so those bottles lasted us through several anniversaries..................and then we started in on the domestics........difficult for one who lives in a dry county.....and then there was the year that my in-laws were coming down from cincinnati for our anniversary weekend. and to go to the band festival......and they offered to bring us a bottle....and it turned out to be cold duck....which i refused to drink....which caused a fuss....that bottle is till in our basement refrigerator.......no one will open it or remove it......if and when this house ever sells.....that bottle will go with the lot................today we are having a bottle of sofia, by francis ford coppola........a few steps up at least.......we served this wine at our champagne tasting a while back.....it comes in pink cellophane......though i am not so sure that i like sofia coppola all that much....i have read that both she and bill murray snubbed scarlett johannson when they made lost in translation....(gail and i read people faithfully.......) and i was disappointed to hear this...........)for the record....we are having chinese carryout as well celebrate our 23rd anniversary and acw's 20th birthday (tomorrow)......a treat for cook and family alike.......

rain, rain go away.......

ok, so rain was the main theme yesterday.......we had just commented that it rains every time we cater the herb festival, and the clouds seemed to darken and burst forth as if by my command......rain is not good for business at outdoor events......we were undercover. but our potential patrons were not.....and as gail and i already know everything worth knowing about each other....we grilled our berea college intern who was helping out about his personal life to pass the time........poor guy.......we mostly took him to task for not being a registered voter, for liking rap and heavy metal, and for watching television rather than reading in his spare time.......on the way home the weather got really scarey.......heavy rain with churning winds make me really nervous....at one point i pulled over to the side of the road.....and gail and i debated whether one should stay in the car or get out of the car if there is a tornado sighted.......we had to unload the car in the rain, and then start in immediately on the carryout orders......which were pickups rather than deliveries.......gentle readers.....making carryout deliveries in the rain to band festival patrons who are not at their reserved tables because of the rain is a frustrating endeavor that we wisely opted against this year......we were fairly busy last night, with a dinner crowd that was in no hurry to give up dry, cozy tables, despite the bands playing just 2 blocks away.......today looks to be clearer.....and thankfully we are only open until 2.......there are no words that can decribe my current level of exhaustion......i wonder if i can sneak a nap in before dinner tonight............

old...so old....

ok, so this poem about being old is so sad.....

When You Are Old by William Butler Yeats, from Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats.

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

more about book club.....

ok, so at book club the hyphenated name came up.......and my friends started in on variations.....what if acw married this oerson....or scw married that person..............and when it came to cayle.....the conclusion was concrete.....she will keep her own name........i do not believe it.........

bookclub......

ok, so i need to post about bookclub......partly because i drank red wine........the host drinks red, and the white was going to be too sweet......it was ok......anyway.....the book discussion was handled expertly......we simply were not allowed to stray from his script.....it was the benediction that i found troubling....our host found it necessary to read from a memoir of a man who died from cancer.....(einstein's dreams....)despite the fact that he invited larry f.'s widow to the event........and she cried through his reading.....and we all went home bummed out........why would he do this.................i was already bummed out that when i hugged her she was so boney that i was afraid that she would break.....gentle readers........woman should never get to this point..........

not much of a housewife......

ok so awhile back, as my spouse and i were walking after dinner.....and talking about the future in general.....and he was discussing my strengths....and what he could see me doing with the rest of my life.............housewifery was not included in the list........and when i conceded that i was not much of a housewife...he did not argue against the point......gentle readers.....this point should be disparaging for someone with an undergraduatedegree in home economics.............but i am no martha stewart..............i know no recipes......as i use none............i simply add ingredients as it seems fit.......and i do not dust, nor wax......and i have children to vacumn.........i DO throw away, which separates me from my kin...........but he is right.....i have no future as a stepford wife...............on the other hand, he gives me substantial credit as an accomplished traveler, who will always know where to go, where ever....i may be.........if i could only make myself write fiction............we would be getting someplace.............

the good news about the 80's.........

ok, so my spouse picked me up from work.....as our middle child had the only automatic shift vehicle.....and we shopped briefly for a directed gift for our eldest's 20th birthday.....which is the day after our 23rd wedding anniversary sunday...........we will enjoy chinese after the band festival is over........anyway.....in the truck we discussed the hooplah over reagan's death and funeral......and we touched base on our take.....gentle readers.....it is encouraging to note that i was suffering through the 80's with a person who suffered along side.......we both recall the reagan years as bleak for free-thinkers.....for environmentalists, for planned parenthood advocates......for those who believe in the separation of church and state.....and those who believe in social programs and not in trickle down tricksterism........nice to know that i was not ill-advised 23 years ago................

a first time for everything.....

ok, so today, my quasi-neo-hippie hostess/waitress/friend who will be a senior at centre this fall.......was fussing about this guy she has been intimate with lately.....who just told her that he is split with his girlfriend but that they still live together/sleep together.....and so she is trying to break it off with him......and he shows up at the restaurant.....and it is a classmate of my eldest................who i have known since forever.................and i was horrified...and had to leave the room because it was all-of-a sudden too much information for me......when she had told him he was a jerk...and he left.....i asked her if she was aware that the girlfriend was meanasasnake...and going to school on military/rotc money....and that she would basically beat her senseless if she knew she was sleeping with her boyfriend.....even though we saw this same girl escort numerous fellows to her apartment when she used to live next to the restaurant......ah well.....too much information......i must be getting old.........

sick day......

ok, so once in a blue moon.......mm gets sick......it came on all at once at work this morning........and at some point my friend gail said.....let me call your husband.....but i knew that if he drove me home my car would still be in town, so i asked her to call my middle child......who turned out not to be, so she called my mom....who drove to town to search of him......oh my.....he had just turned in a copy of his independent study report on the history of john crow and the founding of danville to his mentor....and my mother found him in the library by announcing loudly that she was looking for scw because his mother was sick and needed him.....oh my.......this is a small town....when my spouse finally called me at home to ask how i was it was because he heard about it from someone who had heard it from about it in the library......oh my.......i spent the afternoon on the couch....miserable......such a waste of a day...to be at home during the day was great...but to feel cold, achey, tired, nauseated,...dizzy, old......oh my.............

cartoon madness....

ok, so i have entered the summer of cartoon madness.........i could have gone out and walked this morning, but instead i could not resist the urge to search the new yorker data base for funny cartoons..............

just one more post before bookclub.....

ok, so mm is HOME ALONE....and that explains the plethora of posts.....i could vacumn, do laundry....clean out the gutters.....but as it is raining......i am preparing for bookclub by looking over a book i actually read 6-7 months ago.....the flanders panel by arturo perez-reverte.....at the get-go.....you really must take notice of a book by a hyphenated author.......i must include this insight tonight with all of my non-hyphenated friends........i also enjoyed the madrid backdrop......i enjoyed madrid vicariously in this novel more than i did when i visited last year.......but then i was tired/cold/jet-lagged.....the story of my travel life.......anyway....this book reminded me of emberto eco's the name of the rose....a historical thriller....with many twists.......requiring reat attention to detail.....especially to chess.....and this is where i was lost in translation.......i only know enough about chess to lose dramatically........and this book convinced me that i probably have adult add....because when the chess game diagrams popped up....i could no longer focus on the story at hand.........it is the same when i try to read war and peace.. or the brothers karamozov.......and the russian names come up....i cannot focus....and so my mind wanders....and i am soon writing shopping lists in my head rather than reading the book.........thus, i have never finished a russian novel......or a polish,czech,indian......you name it......i cannot get through these without my mind wandering.....and i always put them down....and never put them back up...........on theother hand i managed to read the davinci code in less than 24 hours.......and though i have reread it to make sure it caught the drift correctly.....i think that i have a phobia to unfamiliar words...........i must be careful at bookclub, because the person who chose this book has a bad heart..........

one more blog about aging.......

ok, so in sunday school the lesson i taught was about fears and comforts.......and i disclosed that my worst fear is that i will become senile before i am at retirement age.....just like my dad......in fact, during the course of the bible study i lost my train of thought......and wondered for a moment if it was the first in a chain of downward spiraling events.......and now this new study...........which only proves that we must do everything we can while we still can do it.....for me, that has always meant travel....with or without my loved ones.......because you never know when that last trip will be.........

cats......

ok, so it is thundering, and pouring down rain.....and my cat wanted out.......she was crying, and scratching at the door, and jumping up in my lap, and onto the keyboard...and she didn't want to eat.........so i let her have her way......and now she is sitting on the porch, undercover.....thinking about whether she really wants to go out into the muck and mud.......ironically, this cat usually waits until she is back in the house....to use the litterbox........not a lick of sense.........

republican 'survivor'......

ok, so this link is really funny.......

friendship......

ok, so mm wants to thank her friend gail for taking the time....lots of time to catch up on the blogs she missed after her daughter took the family computer to college........we are talking 6+ months of blogs.......it was nice to relive some of the moments with her as she reminded me of events that i chronicled ages ago.......she even asked if i had actually had a good time in paris in january, because i sounded either bored, or tired, or both.......for the record, i was jet-lagged and wet and cold.......but i remember having a good time........or maybe it was just the typing onto an unfamiliar computer in a smoky cybercafe........anyway, welcome back, gail........

even more cartoons.......

ok, so i have enjoyed cartoons since my days reading mad magazine in the 60's..........i offer these travel related cartoons because i am not going anywhere fun anytime soon......to weddings....to conventions...but nowhere remotely interesting......i really wish i was going to paris soon, but eleven visits thus far is getting mighty greedy.........in had to include this one...just because........i understand that petra is traveling in france as we speak........bon voyage ma petit ami............

ten dollar bill......

ok, so ky senator mitch mcconnell has announced that he will try to change the $10 bill to a picture of reagan........ha!...carter's got a nobel peace prize...surely that deserves a spot on our money more than a trickle down republican......especially when i didn't see $10 in trickle down cash over his 8 year tenure....... maybe this just sums it up.......

more cartoons....

ok, so i like this cartoon it would be appropriate for someone offed by the mob......or so i suppose.......not actually knowing anyone that the mob would care to off.......ok, so it is small.......it is a headstone carved to look like a toaster....and the headstone says simply 'toast'.......nyuck nyuck...this one is funny, too...and this one sums it all up......

new baseball fantasy.....

ok, so my original baseball fantasy involved the cubs versus boston......my revised fantasy involves the boston redsox and cincinnati reds.......more likely given current records......and more interesting despite the curse......redsox versus reds........i live close enough that i might get to a game......my spouse is a longtime reds fan

movie reviews....

ok, so a short time ago,i was taken to task over my personal review of lotr/rotk.......ironically, we came across the new yorker issue in which the original review of said movie is included...the reviewer....anthony lane is droll in his approach to review....."indeed there is a body of opinion that we (critics) should carry little bells, like lepers in the middle ages, to warn respectable citizens of our foul approach.....'such is the lot of critics........everybody has an opinion, and everybody loves your opinion as long as it is alike their own.............i have already selected my little bell.....i simply lack the perfect leperous outfit to complete it.........

cincinnati playhouse in the park.....

ok,so the cincy playhouse has won a tony award for regional theatre.......i lived not 1 block away in the late 70's......my roommate and i bought 2 season tickets in hopes that we could find willing dates for at least half the performances.......i do not recall sucess.......i recall seeing every performance with my roommate cynthia...who was also my maid of honor......ah well...the theatre experience was good........

provence.......

ok, so i have run out of books on tape at the library that intrigue me......so i have digressed to books that i own on tape.....one such is a year in provence......a syrupy nostalgic look at the rehab of a country stone house in the wilds of the luberon........structurally, i can learn a lot about the kind of book i have in mind........but i have hard time with the particulars........in my own personal experience......i hated the south of france.........we came through on our 3 week honeymoon........on a drive from the bas-alps.....chamonix (sp) where we had a fabulous meal, but where i needed all of my french to avoid being cheated out of 100x the price agreed on the room and meal........i got out my camera and took pictures...there is nothing so discouraging to gougers as photographic evidence.......anyway.....i can recall our drive through the luberon.....hot, dusty.......and st. tropez......rode hard and hung up wet....as they say around here.....and the drive to avignon.......well.....i was glad to make it to the chablis area.......we stayed near pouilly-fuisse (sp) which i remember fondly..............that was 23 years ago........hard to believe that i have not been further south in france than lyon in 23 years..........well that is not true, as i drive across the border from the tip of france near honnderribbia in the basque area....but being lost does not count..........

even more on reagan.......

ok, so my mother has called to ask if had gotten mail or a danville paper......and she wondered whether there would be mail or paper service for the week of mourning.........gentle readers.....if there is a week of mourning........then i will nto be responsible for my actions.......i assured her that incredibly both mailperson and paperperson must be sick ,and their replacements are behind.........we had a tag on our door that advised us that a fedex package had not been delivered because no one was at home.....and we could a)drive to frankfort and pick it up today....or b)sign the ticket and it would be delivered tomorrow.........i am not driving anywhere for anything today..........no mail, no paper, no fedex........what is this country coming to.......

more on reagan......

ok, so my mother broke down in tears yesterday afternoon....over reagan's death......and her perceived 'parallels' to my dad's demise......yes, my dad had alzheimers.....yes, my dad was an energetic fellow, good looking....a good speaker.....and a republican......though not one that used to be a democrat.......and certainly no actor......my dad was true to the bone, and with reagan one always wondered what was truth and what was staged......which brings me to dubya, who claims to be living out reagan's legacy.....please.....reagan could do improv at the microphone.....dubya cannot say a lucid sentence without scriptwriters...........but back to my mom.....bless her heart.....i miss my dad too.........but that has nothing to do with ronald reagan.........

mcsweeney's.......

ok, so i followed this link from the l.o.'s web page to mcsweeney's.....i especially enjoyed this link, and the ones about fantasy baseball......

aj goes to the main office.....

ok, this message is for the loyal opposition, who predicted the following.....aj has left the building......just not in time for you......nevertheless........ both my remaining at-home children go into critical years without experienced principals (the middle school principal got a cushy state job......)ah well.....l.o.....thought you would like to know............

tom smith

ok, so tom smith passed away yesterday.....and unlike reagan who also died yesterday, i am saddened by his passing.......and surprised......i knew that he had a recurrence of prostate cancer, but he had been in church every sunday up until last week......tom was the administrator of the hospital for 20 years....and i worked for him 18 of those years......he was partly the reason why i left.....and for that i am grateful...i may never have gotten up the nerve to make a lifechange were it not for how miserable i was due to some of his decisions and lack of support at critical junctions......regardless, he and his wife were frequent diners at trc, and he was always cordial and kind in asking about my children........i will miss seeing him at church.....he always sat in the same place (don't we all.......) and it will be sad today to see that space unoccupied........

the reagan years.....

ok, so for the next few days, the reagan funeral will be center stage......and while i am sypathetic to his widow who dealt with his senility ( i suspect she had paid staff to do the hard part....) i do not recall the reagan years with any fondness whatsoever......he asked the question.......are you better off right now than you were 4 years ago?.......i answered no, and so i never voted for him........i believe that his politics were bogus.....trickle down has never trickled down to me personally....and yet people believed both bushes on the same promise......any empty vow....i read this week somewhere that dubya would make a better commissioner of baseball than he has a president........maybe he can be declared such in florida by his brother...after he loses this fall..........i can only hope that reagan's passing is the death knell of fools in the white house...........i know this sounds mean......but this is mean mamma's blog.........

harry potter......

ok, so we went to see harry potter three,....and may i say that it was loads better than numbers one or two........camera angles, special effects, even the credits were presented in a clever way.......and the scene with aunt marge blowing up was better than i could have imagined......of course this had to do with the director alfonso cuaron.....who has a bit more on the ball than chris columbus...of home alone fame......it was on the way home that son#2 pointed out the 'home alone' similarities in the first two harry potter movies directed by columbus....number three had so much flair and, is to date, the best of the bunch.....too bad they found some other guy to film globlet of fire.......i am impressed with cuaron...........and here's hoping that the dvd will be out by christmas.......

d-day...

ok, so mm is not one to take umbrage with npr, but this morning in their news reporting about bush's european goodwill make-nice tour, there was a mistake made.....the commentator referred to bush's visit to the normandy beach..singular....where the allies landed on june 6........gentle readers......surely after 60 years we should all know that there were a series of beaches involved in the landing......omaha, gold, utah.....etc.....i am surprised to who(m)ever writes on-line copy is so ill-informed......and that the on-air personality didn't catch it.....

lavender lemon bars

ok, so i was quoted in the lexheraldleader in an article about the herb festival next weekend......about lavender lemon bars that i will include in the box lunch we are serving......i made them last year....and have not made them since due to ingredient shortage.......one only has so much lavender from any given year's plants........and eating it for dessert is not my first choice for enjoying my small crop....or my mothe'rs crop, for that matter......she has triple the plants that i have.......anyway.....i am in no good humor about the herb festival, as i have to prepare not only food for about 200 box lunches, and drive it to frankfort....i also have to prepare about the same amount for band festival lunches, and lunch for the playhouse actors, and lunch for the restaurant......and supper for the playhouse actors and patrons.......i have no idea how i will do all of this.....band festival saturday is our busiest day......without adding the herb festival or the playhouse.......and i have no idea what possessed the playhouse people to start their season on band festival saturday.......and, as always, our wedding anniversary is this weekend, and will not be celebrated until after every dish is washed on sunday and i stumble out the door.......no wonder i do not sound particularly chipper in the lavender article.........

harry potter......

ok, so the new harry potter movie comes out today....and i cannot wait to see it.......i read the book several times over......and though the story gets a bit dark.....it is still much lighter in character than books 4 and 5 that come after it.......i listened to a review by the l.a. times guy this morning on npr.....and though he questioned a few themes, he basically liked it......i question whether he has actually read the books, after listening to the things he questioned....such as having the dursleys back in for the third movie......gentle readers, the opening portion of book three, including the dursleys and aunt so-and-so is something i look forward to seeing on film, because the book described it so nicely that i cannot stand but to see how the director portrayed it with living actors.......i also cannot wait to see the end, when harry gets a glimpse of his petronus...the stag that is basically his father's aura, so to speak.......and the director had to include malfoy, because he is important in both books 4 and 5 as well.....and he had a role to play in book 3 as well......as i recall.........as fiction, i really enjoy the harry potter books, and will be sad when book 7 has been written and filmed, because that will be the end.......when he finishes school.....rowling has only promised to see him through school....and she will have banked a billion by then and will have no need for an extra bit of cash.......another good thing about this premiere.....it does not have a lotr premiere to overshadow it........there was the christmas when both a potter and a lotr movie came out.......they are apples and oranges....and should not be mentioned in the same conversation......ah well........all i have to do is to figure out when all of us can go at the same time given swim meets, working, church, etc.........