annual visit.....

ok, so my third child's birth mother comes tommorrow, along with her current husband.......for a week's visit.......we agreed to these terms...and we're sticking to them.....but this sense of duty does not take away from the apprehension such a visit entails.........these are the days when i wish that i could press the skip button on the dvd remote.........and just be beyond......the whole affair brings out the worst in me.......and these days of hormonal dysfunction....the worst is pretty frightening.......the truth is.....we really like the current spouse....he is a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy.......and seems to be a positive force in the birth mother's life......so why cannot i not bring myself to invite them to stay here, rather than rent a hotel room.......and why cannot i bring myself to let our daughter stay in their hotel room for the duration.............i just cannot do this.......too many past issues........i suppose.....not be aired in this venue.........it is our job to protect and nurture this child until such time as she is legally and emotionally ready to move on..........and we are not nearly there yet..........