answered prayers....

ok, so i read this online today......God always answers prayers, but sometimes the answer is no

the upside.......

ok so as i was leaving the health dept. today, one of my co-workers had just finished filling out her living will.....and was in the process of having 2 people of sound mind witness her signature.....this is a hopeful sign....that individuals are moved to make their wishes known, and to write them down.......

finding neverland......

ok, so with all of the craziness in my life and in the world.....i nearly forgot to mention that my mom bought the dvd for finding neverland.....and that we have watched it more than once......and it is quite a marvelous film for adults, and for children who are not expecting disney's peter pan.......it has romance, unrequited love, tenderness, jealousy, joy......such a marvelous film......and one would never know that johnny depp is from owensboro, ky with his studied scottish accent........if you haven't seen it in the theatres, rent it now......

essentiallyevil.....

ok, so i did not sleep well last night...being so essentiallyevil takes a lot out of a person......i, course, replayed the entire conversation with my sibling over and over.......and found myself irate and/tearful about the only part i had neglected to report to my blood kin here in ky....the part whereupon my sibling claimed to be the only suscessful child of our parents.....gentle readers.....let me put this as direct as possible....if the measure of suscess is the purchasing power for electronics and high level govt access....well then my sibling is successful.......but if the definition turns to more esoteric areas.....like quality of life......i must take the olive wreath on this one......i feel that i live a charmed life, with a paid-for house in an idyllic setting, with a supportive,like-minded and commited spouse, an electic circle of friends, the freedom to travel to my favorite places as many times as i care to do so.......one can never be in paris too many times..............i am blessed with a stimulating and caring sunday school class/church family.......i am fortunate to have talented/independent children who still seek my advice/guidance on the rare occassion.....i consider myself immensely successful given these gracious gifts from god.........and this business of being evil, well.......that is simply one opinion...........and while i may joke about being mean and/or evil.........i don't really believe it...............

evil.....

ok, so on the phone this evening, my sole sibling announced that he was certain that i was evil,...being liberal and pro-clinton.....and pro-right-to-die........and that i was a mistake born of our conservative parents...........i, of course, see myself as the prototype, and he as the mistake.....when we agreed that there was nothing upon which we could agree......i hung up........30 minutes later, i am still keyed up about this....and curiously animated rather than upset.........it was quite freeing to fess up to my only lving sibling that i am proudly liberal in my politics.......and when he told me that as a potential pro-hilary voter i was beyond hope......i laughed in his ear...because the conversation had turned so surreal as to be comical.......i believe much of his ire dates back to his 1st and only ex-wife...who he divorced with cause about the time my second child was born......she was a bad egg from the start....and stayed on course til the papers were signed.......if she was in charge of his end-of-life decisions......i would feel quite sorry for him.......but marrying her....and ataying with her would have been his mistake.......and nothing i could do or say could change what god had wrought.........maybe the secondary lesson to this affair is to be careful who you marry.....because they may be in charge of your 15-year limbo if you fail to put things in writing......for now, i will avoid changing the name of this blog from meanmamma to essentiallyevil.....at least for the time being..........

speaking of the pope.....

ok, so i read with amusement......sacreligious as this may be...that the
pope is now on a tube feeding....this is curiously timed...cosmically timed one could say........and now the question must be asked.........how long will the faithful wish the pope to be sustained......for as long as his body holds out, even after the mind is gone........this could be a new phase in the papacy....there could literally be the pope in a feeding-tube sustained life, and the person who steps in to do all the duties behind the scene.....but never actaully gets to BE pope........hmmm.......of course.....the papal politics of old were never quite righteous on this count.....the borgias would have poisoned the sick pope off long before now to get their kin installed.....it is certainly not that catholics always err on the side of life.............

ham loaf.....

ok, so in these days of parents claiming to have a more intimate knowledge of what their child-in-a-vegetative-state would have wanted than her spouse.......i give this example of how far off base parents can be about a child's preference......for many years after i went away to college, stopped coming back home during the summers, got married.......my mother would fix ham loaf and sharp-cheddar escalloped potatoes for dinner when i chanced to come home.......gentle readers....i would rather take a whipping than to eat ham loaf....and the cheese version of the potato dish was just too hsarp for my tastes......so one day i asked my mom why this combination always seemed to pop up during my visit home....'because you like it so much' was the quiet reply........where she got his idea is beyond me......and though she stopped making both of these concoctions....i know that she was doubly hurt.....1)because she missed the mark on what i like/didn't like and 2)because we both knew she missed the mark.......i am poles apart from my parents on political issues, despite 18 years of being brought up to be a good little republican....i am now southern baptist .....people change...and whether it is for the good or for the bad.......people are rarely at 40 the way they were at 10 or 15 or 20........... so the notion put forth by the parents that their daughter was raised roman catholic, and they are certain that her end-of-life wishes would be according to the pope's proclamation on such issues.......this is wishful thinking at best..........

sanitary sewer

ok, so the mm has been jumping up and down......and screaming loudly.....the sewer line is coming!...the sewer line is coming!........just imagine steve martin in the jerk.....in the state of exuberance over the new phone books.......for us who live 'out'......as they say around here.....to differentiate us from those who live 'in town'........the notion that civilization will reach us with managed waste control is just too good to be true......almost as marvelous as getting city water............wow........of course....we will have to pay for the hook-up....but this will be small change compared to the prospect of digging up our entire lot and reworking our internal plumbing system in order to fix our current septic system woes........it is the small things in life that seem to make the biggest differences.......

how low does shame go.......

ok, so the florida right-to-die case has reached another low......who knew how low it oculd go........first, there was ralph nadar getting involved, insisting that he is an end-of-life ethics expert....who knew...corvairs and end-of-life and divisive politics....sounds similar..........and then there is the reverend jesse jackson....who flew to florida to attach himself to this highly publicized case.........too bad that he didn't bring michael jackson with him....it would have added such a touch of elegance to the chaos...michael with the jeweled glove.....all kneeling in prayer.......jesse proclaiming that michael is just misunderstood and not really a pedophile........ah well...the news at 11 has yet to run the reel.......

another reason why it is hard to be a southern baptist....

ok, so the following was on-line today.....A Southern Baptist leader says the Florida judge who ordered the removal Schiavo's feeding tube has resigned his membership in a Southern Baptist church.

The Reverend Richard Land told NBC's "Meet the Press" that Judge George Greer and the Baptist church he attended in Clearwater came "to a mutual agreement that he resigned his membership."

The St. Petersburg Times says the pastor of Calvary Baptist Church wrote Greer a letter warning that, quote: "In all likelihood it is this case which will define your career and this case that you will remember in the waning days of life."

I applaud the courage of this judge to side with the law rather than with the whims of his church, or any other church in such an important matter.....our founding fathers went to great lengths to separate church and state....and this past week has proven them quite right............

tom wolfe, living wills, & cucumber conspiracy theories

ok, so today was amusing from the get-go......what with the lovable ob-on-call for prenatal clinic expressing concern for my child attending an ivy league school, especially after he has read ton wolfe's i am charlotte simmons which supposedly takes place on a fictional ivy campus near philadelphia that is crazed over sports.......and gives preferential treatment to athletes, frat boys...etc.......i was moved to look up reviews for this book, and found the coverage of the novel every bit as entertaining as the descriptio provided by the doc.......especially the numerous emails between 2 separate reviewers who both string for slate.com........but that had not been my intent for the day....so i busied myself with the downloading of ky's allowable living will......blank and ready to be filled out and witnessed by 2 person over 18 and of sound mind...........and proceeded to pass them out, with soft urging to make sure that family members are well aware of your wishes for end-of-life care.....this continued in between clients til after lunch....when i happened upon 2 colleagues deep in discussion about......the drop in the price of cucumbers after easter.......hmmm.....like there was some sort of reason to gerrymander the price higher than necessary before easter.....and no reason to keep it artificially high after easter..........and the discussion went on like this for long enough that i walked away without passing out the last of the living wills......cucumber conspiracy takes precedence every time.........

perspective.....

ok, so let's put uk's loss to michigan state in perspective......the game was headline news on the frontpage of the lexington paper......and had 2 full pages of coverage in the sports sections......while previously headliner stories have finally shifted to page 5..........whew........in these parts that's how it should be.....win or lose......basketball is a huge deal........and slowly this week, the otherwise uk obsessed newspaper will transform itself into a fiercely louisville boosting rag...........and that is also how it should be, given their proximity to central kentucky......had they no basketball team of their own, folks in louisville would be cats fans........a strong thunderstorm flashed through as we were trying to get some sleep.......probably a sign of some kind.......eh?

double ot.........

ok, so by now the world knows that u of k has been knocked out of the ncaa tourney by michigan state......and i am at peace with this loss because 1) louisville is still in it......and 2) there are 2 big ten teams in the final 4 and that is just peachy for this osu grad.......i must admit that i did not actually watch play after regulation...just listened whilst playing solitaire.......these high anxiety situations take too much out of me......and so i walked away before it was over.....probably because i sensed that it was already over.......ah well.......life will go on.....

seems papa bush was a bad, bad boy.....

ok, so in reading other liberal blogs to see what is being said about the right-to-die case in fla.....i ran across this....it may be gossip...but bush gossip is just too delicious....'if you?re hoping that President George W. Bush will hire Linda Tripp and bring her back to the White House, don?t hold your breath.

You do not understand the fundamental nature of the Bushes.

Nor do you ? or Matt Drudge, Tripp?s biggest booster in the media ? want to recall the first time Tripp, the now-infamous whistle-blower, burst on the national scene.

Back in the first Bush presidency Linda Tripp was stationed down the hall from the Oval Office. She somehow caught wind on a long known but well-kept Washington secret: President George Bush had a "special" relationship with a staffer named Jennifer Fitzgerald.

In fact, Bush had been "very close" to this Jennifer beginning in Peking back in the days when Bush was our delegate to Red China. So close, in fact, that Barbara Bush had come home to D.C. in a state of "depression."

Years later, during Bush's vice presidency, Jennifer Fitzgerald held a key staff post ? and this caused a virtual revolt among his other loyal staffers. They hated the haughty, pushy and arrogant woman who clearly had more "access" to Bush than they did.

Vice President Bush went to Geneva in 1984 during the arms talks and arranged through our negotiators to stay in a government guest house ? with Jennifer Fitzgerald. Our ambassador was aghast!

When Bush became president, Jennifer Fitzgerald was moved over to the protocol office inside the State Department. But she was still visible at public functions and occasionally traveled with the presidential party.

Those "in the know" inside Washington knew about this relationship. A Washington Post story at the time had carefully danced around the topic, even speculating about the "positions" Fitzgerald had taken with Bush.

Linda Tripp learned of it and saw it from her desk down the hall from the Oval Office. She thought it inappropriate. And she told people about it.

This was no different from what she would later do in the Clinton White House when she again saw examples of presidential philandering ? remember Kathleen Willey emerging disheveled with smeared lipstick from the Oval Office?

Things came to a head one summer up in Kennebunkport when CNN?s Mary Tillotson asked President Bush if he was having an ?adulterous? affair?

Bush went ballistic and decried the question even being asked. He attacked the reporter for "what you are doing."

But he never answered the question.

Instead he later sent out a spokesman to say, "The answer to the ?A? question is a big NO."

The spokesman?

His oldest son, George W. Bush.

The Bushes have long memories. They know full well it was Linda Tripp who, among others, ratted out the Bush-Jennifer Fitzgerald relationship during the first Bush administration.

And there is no way that they are going to ?reward? her by giving her a new White House job.

To many of us Linda Tripp is a true American hero for taking on Bill Clinton. And she suffered for her courage.

But to the Bushes she is the one who exposed their own scandalous behavior and subsequent cover-up 

faith......

ok, so i read online the following discourse on faith......an old story newly told.....

One day Prince Pico della Mirandola met Pope Alexander VI. at the house of the courtesan Emilia, while Lucretia, the holy father's daughter, was in child-bed, and one did not know in Rome if the child was the Pope's, or his son's the Duke of Valentinois, or Lucretia's husband's, Alphonse of Aragon, who passed for impotent. The conversation was at first very sprightly. Cardinal Bembo records a part of it.

" Little Pic," said the Pope, " who do you think is my grandson's father? "

" Your son-in-law, I think," answered Pic.

" Eh! how can you believe such folly? "

" I believe it through faith."

" But do you not know quite well that a man who is impotent does not make children?"

" Faith consists," returned Pic, "in believing things because they are impossible; and, further, the honour of your house demands that Lucretia's son shall not pass as the fruit of an incest. You make me believe more incomprehensible mysteries. Have I not to be convinced that a serpent spoke, that since then all men have been damned, that Balaam's she-ass also spoke very eloquently, and that the walls of Jericho fell at the sound of trumpets? " Pic forthwith ran through a litany of all the admirable things he believed.

Alexander fell on his sofa by dint of laughing.

"I believe all that like you," he said, " for I know well that only by faith can I be saved, and that I shall not be saved by my works."

" Ah! Holy Father," said Pic, " you have need of neither works nor faith; that is good for poor profane people like us; but you who are vice-god can believe and do all you want to. You have the keys of heaven; and without a doubt St. Peter will not close the door in your face. But for myself, I avow I should need potent protection if, being only a poor prince, I had slept with my daughter, and if I had used the stiletto and the cantarella as often as your Holiness."

Alexander could take a jest. " Let us talk seriously," he said to Prince della Mirandola. "Tell me what merit one can have in telling God that one is persuaded of things of which in fact one cannot be persuaded? Wbat pleasure can that give God? Between ourselves, saying that one believes what is impossible to believe is lying."

Pico della Mirandola made a great sign of the cross. " EhI paternal God," he cried, " may your Holiness pardon me, you are not a Christian."

" No, by my faith," said the Pope.

" I thought as much," said Pico della Mirandola.

hallelujah

ok, so church was near-to-capacity packed..........with the folks who are always in attendence, and those who appear at major holidays.....i saw a woman whose obit i thought i saw this past week.....must have been somebody else with a really similar name and middle initial......good thing i am slow about sending cards.......there was a 7 piece brass/wind ensemble that managed to make a major joyful-noise......and the choir was so large they had to use both sets of choir robes.......sunday school was more intimate, with much of the time spent debriefing our friend sharon who just got back from visiting her daughter who is teaching preschool for a year in dijon.....oh, how i wish i was going to france anytime soon......ah well.....turns out it was NOT my turn to teach sunday school, and i happily sat back while my good friend cynthia taught instead.....and covered many of the points i had planned to cover.......and then she surprised me by pulling out of her bible an offering envelope from a local anglican church.....seems she has attended a funeral there in the past year or os....and had been so moved by the (female) priest presenting the eulogy that she had grabbed the first thing she saw to take notes.....i was impressed that she oculd still put her hands upon it.....and that she could read it.......my world is littered with notes taken here and there.......in various states of sobriety and conciousness.....in all the of aftermath housecleaning from the fire i have come into contact with numerous bits that i have written, without dates........that would have ,ade too much sens.....to have taken the time to note the date......and some of these ideas/quotations.....have been very interesting to say the least, and unnerving to be quite honest, when taken out of whatever context in which they were written.......the most interesting is poetry written at a todd rungren concert in the middle to late 70's........of which i have little or no memory.......and only half the handwriting is mine.......but i digress.........from my report of church this easter sunday.......lots of pink coats and corsages......and though we will be traveling next sunday, we will keep our u-of-l graduate pastor in mind.......he told me this morning he was so beside himself after louisville's win yesterday that he almost had to call in sick......such is basketball here in the heartland.......amen, amen, and amen...............

risen from the near-dead......

ok, so i spent yesterday repotting plants......in particular the ficus that was severely damaged in the bathroom fire.....it was tall enough that the smoke and heat snuffed out the top halk......it was dragged onto the porch for the firefighters....and by the time that it caught my attention again....the top part looked like a fall display of yellow, with the bottom portion merely sooty and a bit frost-bitten from the spurts of cold weather that followed the fire.......i tried to clean it up a bit, by carefully removing the yellowed leaves.....and lo....there were new buds everywhere on branches that i thought defunct......looks like the tree was damaged and not dead......and so i have repotted it to a much larger italian terracotta vessel.....it was pot-bound.....and now hope for a glorious comeback.....not your classic easter story....but it is the only one i have.....gentle readers, have a resurrecting day........

easter.....

ok, so we had our easter dinner this evening.....as a favor to my mother who had plans after church with her friends...and to our eldest who works easter sunday at the uk library.........i handed out small gift bags-cum-baskets despite the age range of our offspring......the 12 year old expects a basket every bit as much as our dear college junior......his girlfriend was pleasantly surprised to receive a bag of her own......she admitted quietly that her own mother had quit the easter basket thing a few years back.........i plan to keep this up until my children either have their own children, or cease to come home for the holiday........there was a bit of a hush prior to dinner, when the youngest commented about our having made a coconut cake for jesus's birthday...ooops.....wrong holiday altogether.....wrong sentiment altogether.......but can we blame her for the mistake...with commercialism as it is......did all those tender souls clogging the aisles at walmart this morning grasp the full significance...and the significance takes on new meaning in light of the florida case.......every time it comes up in conversation my mother opts to relive my dad's passing...when she decided not to go the feeding tube route per his wishes.......i am saddened that she relives his passing daily/hourly with the constant news coverage of the florida case......ironic......in that the zealots who so much want to draw followers to their cause may have driven a wedge between these who have been there/done that with the slow starvation/dehydration death of a loved one.....and those who have no clue about what is involved./.......tomorrow is my turn to teach sunday school.......and the lesson is per usual...ecept that there is so much more to bring to the table than last year.....the woman in atlanta who saved her own life by having read the purpose driven life......and the florida case......and the pope on death's door......lots to talk about...........

ncaa

ok, so we have been watching our quota of basketball these days.......we watched michigan state beat duke........with great delight, i must add......and we watched uk beat utah, with much awe and appreciation of the depth of uk's bench.....we saw guys play that never get to play.....so that the starters could get fully rested and stay out of foul trouble.....at least 13 different players were on the court at some point....and these guys scored just as well as the starters.....wow.......as for utah, their big guy was forced to play almost every minute of both halves....and this affected his accuracy....he mostly through bricks as opposed to baskets......and so uk advances to play michigan state......and louisville has already advanced to play west virginia........i rooted for both michigan state and west virginia in previous rounds....but now i must pull my loyalties back instate........and hope that both louisville and uk make it to the final four......wow...that would be something......and that would be divisive......as around these parts people tend to be for uk if louisville is not on the court, but when asked to choose sides......gosh, even my pastor would choose louisville.....ooops.......but lets hope that this matchup comes to fruition, just for the thrill of it........louisville tips off about 4:00 pm...lots of stuff to do before them.....

grounding.....

ok, so my youngest is grounded for the weekend.......for violating the rules....for the umpteenth time........she was supposed to be at my mom's house across the street....and when my mom called to talk to her it became clear that 1)she was not at my mom's 2)neither of us knew where she was......in more innocent times this wouldn't be such a concern.......but we live in an age of amber alerts.....and hunts for remains and knowing where are children are at all times is essential.....the child who was found dead in iowa......her family thought she was next door, when she had actually gotten into the car of a family friend/known sex offender......not that my family has any known sex offenders as friends....but one never knows.....and my child would probably get into the car with freddie in the mask if he offered her candy.......or asked if she would help him find his lost puppy.......these issues are discussed with her on a regular basis.....but i remain fearful for her survival given her forgetfulness of such basics as i forgot that i have to let you know where i am now, not where i started out to go.......and so, she is grounded for the weekend.......no bike riding, no tv, no computer games.........no friends over.......and i am sorry for this....what will it take to get the notion through her head that free-roaming my be fun but it could become deadly........

the price of one life....

ok, so i went shopping and to lunch with my basically conservative mother....who is just as upset with the florida right-to-die case as i am......she accused the congress and the president of grandstanding at the expense of a family's tragedy....i opted not to remind her that she voted for said president.......and she went so far as to estimate the cost of her care for the past 15 years......180 months, gove or take....at roughly $10,000/month for round-the-clock care....that is well over $1.5 million.......and that doesn't count the money spent on lawyers fighting the in-laws......that kind of money could have gone to much better purpose than to keep a braindead woman in limbo.......the last cnn report is as follows...'The 11th U.S. Circuit Court in Atlanta ruled late Friday against the parents of Terri Schiavo, who are in a desperate race to save their brain-damaged daughter. Shortly before the ruling, her father, Bob Schindler, said, "I think the people who are anxious to let her die are getting their wish'.........what a crass thing to say.....that we in heartland america wish his daughter dead.......we wish none of this had happened.....that she had never collasped....that lack of oxygen had not resulted in brain damage.......and that she did not have to lie dying in a hospice with the world watching.......realistically she died 15 years ago.....the part of her that was her.....it is just the shell that remains.......her spouse is at peace with letting her go......i pray that at some point her parents find peace with her loss as well.......and i am happy for the spouse....who has many reasons to carry on after the dust settles......on the other hand....the parents have focused their existence on this for so many years, i fear for them.....having lost their raison d'etre......at the very least, those of us who have been burdened by the constant barrage of newsreports on this poor woman's fate will surely voice our wishes for end-of-life to loved ones.......as for me, i can think of nothing worse than laying in a stupor for 15 years with my loved ones bickering over my wasted bones.......what's next.....will the parents demand their half of her ashes?...............

a day off......

ok, so i might have neglected to mention that i have today off.....through the combination of extra time worked, vacation time, and 3.5 hours thrown in by the state of ky........wow......i started off with breakfast out with my spouse and the running crowd.....which was mostly the same people we hiked with last sunday at the wildlife refuge....and that is a good thing......lots of raucous laughter and good spirits.....and hashbrowns and sausage to boot......life is good........now, i must go out into the sunshine and attempt to walk off at least a portion of that delicious breakfast.......

ok, so i found this poem, from today's writers almanac to be quite telling, especially in these days of working on weight....Upon My Offering Her an Easter Chocolate, My Wife Screams that She Won't Let Me Make Her Fat by Gaylord Brewer, from Exit Pursued by a Bear. © Cherry Grove Collections

Later, it may occur to me
that inside a door frame is, they say, safest
place structurally during a tornado,
other than any available underground.

And later, after the night perhaps,
when earth's sun shines on a cold spring morning
and the house is quiet,
I will reflect inconclusively on what I've done
and what I may deserve, and whether I am a villain.

But for now, a punishing moment
when a woman turns in a chair
to a man extending a candy egg held on the axis
of thumb and forefinger and subtext

explodes, for that moment I weave
a bit foolishly on the threshold of an open passage,
blinking carefully, drunk,
absolutely and silently indefensible
as the existing universe that I can perceive

narrows to a radiating point,
then, widening, takes the shape of a glove
crafted for life's work, one that may slap, caress,
or close quickly to a fist, as the hand desires.

overheard.....

ok, so some things that are overheard are just too good to pass up as blog-fodder.......such is the reply i overheard this week.......from the lips of a girl (somewhere between 15 and 20) who weighed upwards of me, carrying another me around...and then some.....when asked if she could manage to walk for a few minutes a day in her neighborhood...the girl replied that she lived in a bad neighborhood......bad neighborhood?......you mean like guns and drugs?......no....there are some lesbians who live in the neighborhood and i am afraid that they will hit on me.......ha!.......most of the women i know who live and breathe an alternative lifestyle have much higher standards........omg.......what does she fear...that one of them will dash out from behind a tree and and say .....what?.....how about a little kiss?......this is the craziest thing i have heard thus far as 1) a reason NOT to exercise and 2) as a definition of a bad neighborhood.........

still on schiavo

ok, so i read a compelling piece from the fort worth newspaper.....proof that not everybody from texas is an idiot.....the main part i will link, but this little bit is worth borrowing..the writer is referring to the 565 strangers in washington who passed terri's law.......'a blogger called Digby (listed)for the following points: Those who passed this bill are the same politicians who want to outlaw medical malpractice suits like the one that has provided the care for Schiavo while she was in "a persistent vegetative state." They are the same politicians who have just finished changing bankruptcy law so that it is much harder for families hit by tragedies like this to get out from under the staggering medical bills.

How dare they talk about morality?

Who are these professional anti-abortion activists who think they have the right to make decisions about someone else's life?'

terri is on day 6......her husband, such as he is, stays at her side...because he promised to do so....he could have walked away from all of this years ago......those who would dare question his rights in this case must remember that he is fulfilling the hardest part of marriage....the til death part......frankly, most of terri died in 1990....it is only the shell he waits beside today......

disconnect.......

ok, so there seems to be a disconnect between the pulling of a feeding tube and the dying from starvation...or at least with those to who(m) this issue has been discussed of late......'i believe that the husband has the obligation to have the tube pulled if his wife said she didn't want tubes,...but i think it is wrong that she is starving to death....'........that is how this works, gentle readers.....without hydration or nutrition....the body starves.....but that is what would have/could have/should have happened 15 years ago when she was declared brain dead......she would have slowly starved.....because that is how death occurs when one lacks the swallowing reflex......ironic, when i read that there are right-to-lifers who have been arrested trying to sneak into schiavo's hospice to give her water......she has no swallowing reflex.....and she would just basically drown if someone were to give her water by mouth.......when people with cancer die, they don't actually die of cancer.....they die of the pneumonia that comes from the weakened immune system...or from the starvation that comes from the poor appetite secondary to medical treatments....or from organ shut-down ...the death certificate may say cancer......but it is never the cancer that did the deed in the end.......the disconnect is always there........and so i think these days about watching my dad slowly starve to death.......in the v.a. hospital....when my mom opted to not insert a feeding tube when he could no longer swallow.......it was unnerving to watch my dad dwindle slowly........it took at least 2 weeks.......but better that than a half-life of feeding-tube limbo.......i applaud my mother for this choice....based on her intimate knowledge of what my dad would have wanted.....it never occured to me to challenge her decision in court....as schiavo's parents have done over the past 15 years.........when one marries, one's life is now in the hands of one's spouse.....for better or for worse........and let no man, court or congress put that sanctity assunder.....

vacation.......

ok, so moments after i got to work this morning, a co-worker proclaimed that 'you look like someone who has been on vacation.....why are you so happy?......maybe it is the haircut......'.....gentle readers......how does one respond to such a statement/query......what exactly does one look like when back from vacation....certainly not happy to be back at work.......and hwat does a haircut have to do with it.....yep....i got a really short haircut on saturday........but i have had shorter hair before.....and i sincerely doubt that it has transformed my life in any way......and what is wrong with being happy to be at work.....in a reasonable workplace (reference the blog where i mentioned that in the past I worked with people that i regret not slapping whilst i had the chance....).....i really enjoy the people i work with.....and am amused/moved/challenged by the clientele........this has been an awakening if sorts....i never dreamed that i would come into contact with folks who are or have in the past been meth makers/users/sellers.......who knew that such a subculture exists.....right under our very noses......well...almost under our noses....as i have been assured that the ammonia used in the process really does smell, and it is this smell that leads the neighbors to call the police......so.....why am i so darn happy?........must be from a good night's sleep, supportive homelife........and the knowledge that i get to drive home after a day of eye-opening experiences.........

more on sciavo....

ok, so this bit of information was in this week's time magazine.......In Florida, there were revealing cracks in the state's conservative cohort, as some Republican pols who usually side with Governor Jeb Bush (who backs efforts to keep Schiavo alive) broke ranks. Powerful state senator Dennis Jones helped defeat eleventh-hour attempts in the Florida legislature last week intended to save Schiavo, telling TIME it was "the wrong vote." Some Florida Republicans say they winced when DeLay insisted that keeping Schiavo and patients like her alive was more important than "the sanctity of marriage"--a concept, of course, at the core of the Christian right's agenda on issues like gay marriage......this could make the whole right wing agenda fragmented.......right to life could become at odds with the sanctity of marriage........they cannot have it both ways......depending on the situation........if congress/courts can set aside a marriage between a man and a woman in favor of the wishes of one's parents, then there is no sanctity........this will be an interesting political season.......good thing there are reasonable republicans in fla.....

impulse control.......

ok, so on the side i consult with a children's home for sub-teen boys who have multiple problems.....and many of the medications used to improve behavior revolve around the notion of impulse control......the not-doing-what-you'd-rather.......the restraint that keeps some of us from saying things we should not say, or doing things we should not do.....but not thinking things we should not think.....yeah...it is the thinking of those things that leads to the doing of those things.......and thankfully....i have dodged many of those impulses.....to not beat the crap out of people who deserved it...or not to act on whims that involved money, sex, rock&roll.......frankly, i do not think of myself as someone who harbors violent desires......i will just admit that some of the regrets that i have in life involve people that i should have just slapped and then walked away at peace.......when well-timed.....such actions can be immensely satisfying....i can recall throwing a young man out of my apartment in college with what seemed to be the strength of hercules......now that was fulfilling.....to my sense of self....maybe my entire persona stems back to that act of impulsive semi-disruption.......and there are workmates over the years who tormented me to the point of such acts.....but i did nothing......on the other hand...when i read of major acts of retribution.....school or workplace or church shootings......i realize that my impulse (however minor by comparison) was best left unrealized....life is much better in the long run....not to be known as the worker who up and slapped the heck out of her boss.......

no response......

ok, so there is no response for the following quote from our lady of perpetual foolishness.......britney spears.....

'I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.'

tosca

ok, so the ncy opera will perform tosac on the following dates...should anyone reading this blog care to know....

Oct 9 Sun 1:30PM

Oct 13 Thu 7:30PM

Oct 15 Sat 1:30PM

Oct 21 Fri 8:00PM

Oct 26 Wed 7:30PM

Oct 29 Sat 8:00PM

tickets still apear to be available......

ok, so

ok, so the following was a guest column from today's daily princetonian......all about the word so

On language, Princeton-style: 'So'

Laura Berner
Princetonian Columnist

I was sitting in class, running on two hours of sleep and just about to be lulled into a Power Point-induced stupor, when I was shaken back to reality by two consecutive blurbs on the first lecture slide that began with the same word. This situation wouldn't normally seem strange — no simple repetition of "the" or "a" would evoke any response — but the repeated word was so out of place, so irrelevant, so extraneous: so.

For years now adults have been unable to understand the teenage wonder, the bliss, the simplistic genius of the word "like." The valley-girl word that made the '90s great, that replaced "said" and signaled hyperbole or understatement was a staple of our youths. Placed by many adults on the irreverence-o-meter at the same level as gum-smacking, it continues to ruin job interviews for many college graduates even to this day. However, the times appear to be changing: the upstart of a word "so" actually seems to be encroaching dangerously on the territory of the once ubiquitous "like."

"So" is already such a versatile word, as it can be used — in a Webster's-approved fashion, of course — as a synonym for "very," "consequently," "thus," "indeed," "likewise," "anyway" and even (though sarcastically) "apparently." Perhaps it is the versatility of the "so," the belief that it could probably be used to mean anything we want it to, that has led to its bastardization.

You're probably thinking that the casual use of "so" has been around forever. I've been saying "so, I was like," "oh he is sooooo nice," and "so, you want some soup with your salt" for like, ever, you chortle. Oddly enough, though, it's probably not the "likers" who are using the new annoyingly arbitrary and unnecessary "so." It's blurted out like a nervous tick by mostly — I've noticed — adults and students trying to sound formal (and by formal I clearly mean erudite). Given time to catch on, the "so" could conceivably be a formidable rebuttal to "like."

What is this new use of "so"? Let's take the example from the slides. The instructor who wrote them obviously tried to write them in a conversational style, and I commend him for doing so because it usually makes lectures lighter, easier and more interesting. With this style, though, his proclivity for using "so" when he speaks showed up in the slide, almost like written evidence of its strangeness. The very first slide began with "So" and the following paragraph started with "So," and neither "so" was preceded by some sort of statement that the paragraphs on the slide were meant to explain. The "so's" just came out of nowhere and for no reason. They didn't serve a "thus" or "therefore" purpose; in fact, they served no purpose. This, my friends, is the new "so" — basically extraneous and marginally annoying. But let's not pick on the teacher, since he is clearly not alone in the so-age, and this might just be a linguistic revolution I missed over Intersession.

In fact, even we college kids have caught on to the disease that I at first thought was restricted to the post-college world. Someone asked how a decision was made in a group I'm involved with on campus, and one of the officers replied, "So we took into account . . . ." Why is that "so" there? I couldn't tell you. Maybe "so" is replacing "well." Will interviewees someday reply "So that's an interesting question"?

So when I'd recount dialogues (annoying "so," no?) from my days at school — and let's be serious, this still happens today — my parents stopped me and begged me not to plop "like" after every other word. The "and I was like . . . and she was like" weren't just made-up grammar, but, my parents claimed, they were distracting and made it hard for adults to actually listen to what I was saying. I finally understand where they were coming from. Karma, it seems, has come to kick me in the tuchus for all the "likes." And so it goes.

Laura Berner is a sophomore from Rye, N.Y. She can be reached at lberner@princeton.edu.

florida and the right to die......

ok, so that sounds like a glass half empty rather than a glass half full....but in florida, with the 15-year long hospice patient......she does have the right to make a graceful exit, without such a political tugofwar......at one end...you have her spouse, who has moved on and has another family.......i cannot blame him after such a long time with a spouse in a coma.......i couldn't blame my spouse for doing the same...but then i wouldn't have wanted the feeding tube to be intact for 15 years........and then there are her parents....who do not believe that the patient was bulemic, or passed out because of hypokalemia.......and they seem to have bad blood with the spouse that transcends the actual accident......and to bring in the lawyers, the congress, the candlelightvigile folks......omg....that is just too much....let the poor woman die on peace............

mixed media....

ok, so the status quo for my morning routine involves internet whilst reading the paper.....obviously neither are read well, but there are places i like to have covered prior to going to work...where obviously the internet's use is controlled/monitored/undersuspicionatalltimes.......i like to read writer's almanac daily.....for tidbits such as today is the birthday of johann sebeastian bach, born in Thuringia in 1685.......this was news to me....because of the place he was born.....my grandmother always bought a marvelous salami from a german butcher called thuringer......must be from bach's hometown.....gentle readers.....as processed meat products go, this stuff is really delicious......as long as one is not too choosy about what actually goes into making such meat products........i like to read the state and local headlines, the obits, and the front page of the lexington paper....and then the cnn headlines.......there is generally a 3 day lag between many of the worldly cnn articles and the lexington paper unless they are really really big stories......and then i like to read blogs.....alas, my favorite blogs are one-by-one going private.....this i understand.......but i am still disappointed.....in that i read them not so much as for the gossip, as for the quality of thoughts put to well...air......since no actual paper is involved.......i continue to search for equally interesting blogs elsewhere......just to fill in......but for now that poetry and quotations and music reviews are seriously high level stuff.........ooops...gotta get ready for work......

ok, so dubya persists in promoting abstinence as the official government sanctioned form of sex ed.......with frightening results......at the hiv training i attended this week....i learned that the fastest growing subsector of hiv-positive individuals is the......12-16 year old white female group.....because there is no one out there telling them that oral sex is sex....and that any body fluid can give you hiv even if you are technically still a virgin.......good gracious sakes........telling our young don't do it hasn't worked for smoking or alcohol...or marijuana....what makes us think that telling them just say no to sex will do any different........much better that our young ones here about the risks involved with individual types of birth control....and how to use a condom....and to actually use a condon every time you don't want a baby...than to hope for the best with just say no.......someone recently sent me a video...possibly german....of a pappa and child in a grocery store.....with the child throwing a major tantrum.......and the dad was horrified.....and then the caption came up...use a condom...every time......no mention of whether the dad was married to the mamma...that part is really irrelevant.....what is relevant is the longterm ramifications of unprotected sex....and nobody in authority in america is allowing a frank discussion of these issues with our young.......just the same old same old.......i recently got a long look at the person in kentucky in charge of abstinence programs.......and i laughed audibly......for she was clearly one of the religious right.......and when she addressed our budget planning group she spoke etherially about preserving sex as a gift between married partners.......and i was stunned that this washington-based notion is alive and well in frankfort, and that there are people on the kentucky payroll who think that these 'stratregies' are valid........dreamworld...........while the un-enlightened 12-16 year-olds contract hiv.....thinking that as long as their collective pants are not down they are at no risk.........tragic....... 

your mamma......

ok, so my sister-in-law who called yesterday about the uc/uk game siad something that keeps coming back to me......that no one will ever love you the way that your mother loved you...not your children, not your spouse...not your siblings and certainly not your friends.......and she told me how lucky i was to still have my mother....and that she misses her mother nearly every day......gentle readers, this was hard for me to hear, because this same said woman seemed to go out of her way to make me crazy.....but then, i was NOT her child...and though she did seem to go our of her way to make her own children crazy....she still loved them purely and deeply.....and i was sad for her loss in that regard.....

underdogs.....

ok, so i have said it once, and i'll say it again....i am a sucker for underdogs.........basketball, especially march madness, simply reminds me of this truth.......it is thrilling to watch the under-rated show their stuff and the over-rated get their comeupance- is that a word- comeupance,or comeupence, or it is come-upance, or none of the above.....ah well.....y'all know what i mean.......there are in this world people who are supposed to win.......because people that should know say so.....and there are the people who are not supposed to succeed......for the same reason.......and this goes further....the people who are not supposed to succeed start believing the myth, just like people are are supposed to win begin to feel entitled.....which brings me to wake forest/west virginia.........wv forgot that they were not supposed to win.....and wake somehow forgot that they were not necessarily entitled......not in the big dance........and so wake lost in doulbe overtime to a team seeded far below them......and it was sweet to watch......even though i have no dog in that fight.....knowing nobody who attends either school......well, that isn't necessarily true...there is likely somebody from this little town who goes to wake, or in my middle child's class who has applied to wake, but nobody comes to mind off the top of my head.....i will admit to mixed feelings watching uc play ky in the earlier match-up......cincinnati was playing to win despite their lower seed, and had i not wanted uk to move on to the sweet 16 i would have cheered them on......basketball is a stressful, heart-wrenching sport in march.....not for the meek of heart........so who do i pick to win it all....if uk cannot get it done.....i haven't made up my mind....other than i do not want it to be duke or uconn.....i still hold a grudge from the duke-uconn final a few years back....i had a perfect bracket going in a large pool, until the wrong team lost in the final.......and i have yet to forgive either team....so i am now one of those people who will root for any team playing either of those powerhouses.......just like i naturally root for any team playing michigan....but that is another story indeed......

what comes down must go back up......

ok, so this day was consumed with draperies......now that the walls are painted, it is time for the newly cleaned window treatments to go back up....and that was easier said than done....for starts i vaguely recalled putting all of the hardware into a ziplock bag......the little hooks that attach each panel to the drawrod........not much one can do without the bag of hooks.......which was put in a safe place over 2 weeks ago.......safe places are dangerous locations for the semi-senile.....and therefore i could not put my hands on said hooks despite a dedicated search........until the sun had gone down and it appeared to my spouse that i had not done much of anything with an off-day........the hooks were ultimately located in the back of a tablecloth drawer......ooops.......and then came the hard part....figuring out how the hooks fastened onto the tops.......so far so good......but then came the valance in the guest room.......my spouse couldn't recall it being there in the first place......and then could not figure out how such a heavy rod could have been positioned there without support.......heck.....i took it down when the drycleaner van came......but i failed to take notes.....and so it remains on the guestbed......and not on the window until such time as one of us can make sense of the situation........ah well....ain't homeownership grand?........

cincinnati

ok, so u of kentucky plays u of cincinnati later on today.....and my sisterinlaw lisa called to inquire the question of the day......will we cheer for uc....where we both earned masters degrees, or for uk, where we neither of us attended .....yeahyeahyeah...we do have a child who goes to uk.......but my spouse is actually from cincinnati, and his dad did work there........so who knows......i suppose it owuld be nice to see cincinnati take a nice long ride up through the brackets....and uk has played so badly of late...........this could go either way......

ok, so i am impressed by Amina Wadud, who pictured leads a prayer service ? an act rarely performed by women ? at Muslim service yesterday in Manhattan. Wadud, a professor of Islamic studies at Virginia Commonwealth University, presided over service of about 120 worshipers. 

a great day....

ok, so yesterday was a great day.......when viewed as a glass half-full.......i got to leave work about 12:30...as i had done a program the evening before and i got to take back time...i love the notion of taking back time.......having never been able to do so in a free and openly sanctioned manner......wow........and i was able to get in a little nap in my favorite napping spot....on the upstairs loveseat that gets afternoon sun.......it must have gotten super sunny becuause i woke up hot...and recalled dreams of being blinded....and somehomw attempting to drive a van into a national park from the passenger side....hmm......and then i met up with some of my favorite centre folks for a little tgif in town.......the company of brainy women is something i relish whenever i get the opportunity......many thanks to the mother of the l.o. for the treats and good conversation.....and then......as if this wasn't enough goodness already.......my eldest and his girfriend came for dinner.....and my middle child also had a friend join us as well.......so many that we opted to add a leaf to the table to make sure everybody had enough space.......not many women would have risked a glass or 2 of wine in town just prior to dinner with guests....but i had a corned beef in the crockpot, potatoes on low.....and the cabbage ready to go in the microwave....no worries......such a nice evening...i did take pictures, though i will keep them to myself......i know that this is a new concept for me...keeping anything to myself.....but i have some redeeming qualities.......ah well.....a great day......

7 at dinner......

ok, so we had seven at dinner to night....corned beef and cabbage and potatoes...and we were encouraged that each family member was confortable having company at the table......somehow the picture albums came out......and we had not intended for the women involved to have to view baby shots.....ah well......we are new at this ............

underdogs.....

ok, so i was rooting for winthrop to beat gonzaga.........and chattanooga to beat wake.......the notion of the little guy besting the superpower reminds me of......well...dhs trying to beat dunbar at quick recall.....a magnet school versus a depleted city system.....4 m.i.t.-bound whiz-kids versus a singular pre-ivy leaguer.......dhs came close, but not close enough.......last season i made it my business to root for boston, who (whom?) i perceived as the underdog to the evil empire (nyyankees).......and i was absolutely delighted that my personal favorite underdogs won the world series.......in my dreams a #16 team will win the ncaa one day.....in my lifetime if there is a God.......just because....for no better reason that because it warms the heart to know that heart can make up for poorly funded/supported/ballyhooed systems......and now that boston has a world series........i may have to direct my personal pathos toward another underdog...say chicago cubs or cleveland.......but for now.....i must make ith through march madness.....and the rooting for lost causes........maybe that #16 team farliegh-whatever can beat illinois.....now that would be great basketball........

senate hearings.....

ok, so the senate hearings looking into steroid use amongst big league baseball players begin today.....with players supoenaed to testify without immunity about their knowledge of the epidemic........among those invited to tell what they know are sammy sosa and mark mcguire.....both bigtime hitters with bigtime records that might be asterixed if proved of drug use......and jose canseco will be there telling everything he's already published in his tell-all book........canseco claims to have injected mcguire himself....mcguire denies this.....so will mcguire plead the 5th amendment, lie,or tell the truth.......hmmm.....and will steroid use lead to the lifetime ban of anybody from baseball........i am passionate about the question of lifetime bans, given pete rose's situation....which is no more and no less like aggregious......betting on baseball versus cheating by use of enhancing drugs.......it shall be interesting, in the very least.....

ok, so i saw these shoes in a blog.....and i really like them....or rather i covet the lifestyle that would include and/or revolve around such shoes.....they are clearly frivolous......and i am not into that notion just now....with one in college and one soon to do the same......which reminds me....i failed to buy a lottery ticket in my hurry to get home early enough to nap before dinner.......add these shoes to my lottery fantasy....... 

horoscope...

ok, so this morning's horoscope for pisces warned that i should avoid being vague or mysterious, as others would view me with suspicion....rather....i should be reassuring....and focus on home so family can back me up.....sounds like something michael jackson could/should get for a random horoscope...i have no idea what i could/should be vague or mysterious about......hmm......

vacation food....

ok, so my weekend in ouisville hardly counts as a vacation.....but i was determined to have a good time in my last outing as an academic team parent....and so i planned for 3 meals 'out'.....for starts...we called in a reservation to lynn's paradise cafe just moments after we picked up reese at her house.....if you don't already know who reese is, then 1) you are missing out and 2) i felt really nervous driving 2 of the brightest young people i know in my vehicle at the same time......doesn't the queen fly separately from the rest of her family just in case of a disaster?..........anyway....i digress.,,,,from lynn's paradise cafe......a really fun place for the pre-teen crowd...it would seem.....as there were no fewer than 3 tables of pre-teen birthdays...with stoic papas or mammas holding down the fort and maintaining some sort of control on the chaos...this place is done in 60's/70's trailor trash chic....and it really works...i had a pale ale on tap that was regrettably bitter......but the spinach salad with shredded gouda, boiled egg and bacon was really fine.......there was a purse for sale in the world of swirl gift shoppe (the entrance/exit) that was made out of a ky liscense plate.......not my style but i thought it was very clever......we could have toasted to absent friends...those in paris (not the one in ky)...who we were sure could not be having such a good time as we were having......others in my party had a grilled portabello sandwich....and a fried chicken salad......sunday night our little trio opted for thai...which meant an urban adventure in a semi-snow storm....back the way we had come......difficult with snow covering street signs.....and moreso since my sense of direction appeared to be off by 456 degrees or so.....and thus we crept through what must have been cassius clay's neighborhood.....hoping that nobody would be out int his weather.......the car that seemed to be parked in our lane outside a liquour store troubled us all briefly....but eventually we found our way back to bardstown road and watterson parkway for thai siam.....we knew it was opened because we called ahead.....and we were able to sit anywhere we wanted...and i ordered what i traveled these many miles for.....the fried tofu appetizer plate that i had 2+ years ago on another governor's cup weekend.....i dined alone on that occassion and brought scw carryout.......this tofu dish has the most delicious dipping sauce/paste made of sesame seeds and unknown ingredients.....best consumed with a piquant cucumber salad in a tiny dish.....not really a pickle....but oh so yummy.......i had a coconut milk-based chicken and vegetable soup rather than an entree....others had pad thia and/or green curry.......monday lunch.....well.....monday lunch always means that one's quick recall team failed to progress.......and that is ok because we hunted down a wonderful and crowded indian place on hurstborne lane....where the buffet was exceptional.....not too many hot things and lots of succulent vegetables, chick peas, an orange chicken that was not curry but something better......great meal...with a kingfisher beer.....i hope this what the best choice....i could not recal fromt he l.o's pictures/commentary on the subcontinent.......and so a great weekend...of good food, good company.........one last time........and spring break.......just a few weeks away...for real vacation food.....up east.....

governor's cup.....

ok, so here are some random thoughts about chaperoning a statewide academic competition in a 2 building hotel complex...each with 25 floors.....most of my time was spent in elevators......

Elevator people.......the guy in the black turtleneck/black blazer combo strolled aboard from floor 3 talking into the mike of his phone's mobile headset like his caller was not important enough to warrant a private audience ....he appeared to be comparing cellular plans...curious wastebof minutes on a sunday morning....our subject pays $60/month,by the way......he got off at a floor mobbed with blueshirted youths ... awaiting the signal from an unseen authority-figure to get on or not to get.......the door closed without movement from that obedient crowd......earlier, as we made our way upstream from breakfast , the elevator door opened to reveal a family unit seated in chairs moved closely to the wallof glass that overlooked the muddier of the riverviews....downstream of the ohio is industrual compared to the upstream vista.......each clutched a book up close to the eyes, with nary a glance at the river.....was the light preferable in the hall as compared to their bedchamber......? And then there was the mom/dad/smallerdaughter unit who alighted to a middle-school aged set of twins who said as one.......'there's no food'...the mother answered..'what about the fruit I sent?..........an older woman from the back of the cabin asked the question aloud that we were all thinking.......no food, or nothing you want to eat.......and then there was the woman who surmised that the middle schoolers must be in the west building and the older kids in the east......this statement was said to no-one in particular.......'maybe we'll beat max and jonathan.....they got on the down elevator...ha.....this pasty-faced adolescent appears to be followed by adoring grandparents who do not seem to mind that their progeny is loud and laughable as he begins to push floor buttons randomly in his haste to shut the door.....presumably max and jonathan won't be stopping at extra floors......the youth turns to me and asks which floor is mine......i'll be on this elevator after you are gone, i grin.......the elevator is one of the few places void of the original 60's era décor........a sort of colonial meets french provincial in shades of burnt orange, avocado,and gold....yeah..maybe these are vintage 1970...the rocking chairs sport a homespun print that reminds me of the old couch at home..the one with the wooden frame and removeable cushions....maybe they were part of a set that my parents opted to disperse...curiously, the website for the galt house boasts of recent rennovations....hmm..maybe our room is next on the list....the roving 13-year-olds in the hall do not seem to notice the décor......no, these details will only be noticed, if at all, by their intrepid chaperones who sit vigilante in ruffled rockers dragged outside doors at either end of their section of the 24th floor. Who knew that running in and out of boys and/or girls rooms was ever that amusing?

ok, so this fine fellow won 1st in the state in arts/humanities and 4th in social studies.......more later when i figure out how to transfer the blog i wrote on my new handheld......dhs actually came in 3rd in the state overall....nice job..... 

8%

ok, so i read with dismay that only 8% of university of ky basketball players actually graduate from college, placing this top 5-ranked ncaa team in the bottom of the graduation-rate heap........pitiable that these guys who 'bleed blue' are not supported off-court to do anything but move on to the nba.....and since so few players make it to the nba...that leaves ex-uk players to try to make a living selling used cars or doing kids basketball camps or leading country-church revivals in hopes they pass the plate........absolutely outrageous that these players are used to the advantage the school and it's donor alums....a modern-age form of indentured servanthood......and yet these talented high school standouts grab at the chance to play at schools like u.k........do these players, and their mammas not get it that they will probably get nothing close to a college education?.......f the system was honest, schools would simply pay these guys outright to play ball.....and give those scholarships to somebody who has the time and the talent to actually show up for class......

under the weather.....

ok, so just before i leave for louisville with my middle child for his last governor's cup tournament, i have come down with some sort of sinus infection/sore throat/cold......and i feel awful....and sound like an old smoker...all raspy and basement-level.....when i ccan manage to get words out at all.....i am convinced that the dust in the air and paint fumes and other airborne irritants caused this health crisis.........i feel wretched.......but not bad enough to stay home.......

ok, so i thought leno's parady on jacko was funny.....arriving late with spongebob pajama pants.....drew carey has been doing all of the jacko jokes given leno's gag order......carey remarked that if you could find the child wearing the top to those bottoms there would be another court case pending......the other joke i read about was carey's.....'you know what michael jackson calls a schoolbus?.....meals on wheels.....' pretty sick, but still funny  jacko's lawyers argued that leno's jokes were cruel and hurtful, but the judge not only lifted the gag roder, he told jacko's lawyers that he could not keep leno from making mean jokes because he makes his living that way......

paint.....paint....and more paint.....

ok, so the painters are almost done....and i am basically pleased with the results....except for a minor clash.....the goldish tone slected for the back room now looks more like daffodil in the bright light....and looks out of synch with the definitely golden armchair by the door.......ouch........not so heinous that i pitched a fit.....i am wondering if there is another chair that can be placed in this very spot and look happier .....or at least one that would make me happier.......you know the old saying...when mamma ain't happy.....ain't nobody happy......

gently borrowed jane.....

ok, so the following quotation was tenderly lifted from a favorite extended blog.....

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

-- letter of December 24, 1798

Jane Austen

i can understand the sentiment.........i believe that i only have enough internal hard drive space, if you will, to like only a very few people..........

ok, so michael was late to court and looked this bad and this led.........gosh darn son......who is driving this bus?........... 

bloggers.....

ok, so bob edwards was asked whether bloggers were the new wave of journalists....and he said no.....and gave testimony why unedited written words that are not substantiated should not be considered journalism......and i took no offense....as i do not in any way consider myself a journalist....this is my on-line journal....but that is not the same thing........and if there is editing...it is only to save my family the embarassment of what i might say......well......we all know that i seem to care not about what they think about what i might say.....and that is a good thing....given these mean times......i will not be careful what i say........

ok, so why has barry bonds not been asked to testify before a congressional committee.....all the other major players in this heinous drug scandal will be there....so what about barry.......and doesn't this make pete rose look like a choirboy.......he really was charlie hustle, without drug enhancement...... 

ok, so salon.com confirms this guy as the alias/imposter who 'somehow' managed to get in to bush press briefings and be allowed to ask bush creampuff questions......but could he be the guy that bob edwards called a $200/hour male hooker....if this guy gets $200/hr......well....he must have obscure talents..........maybe somebody should ask the prez about this guy's talents......that would be a much more interesting story....... 

a painted house.....

ok, so my house is not yet painted......some rooms are mostly done.....and some rooms are partly done, but essentially this crew appears to show up late and leave early........and take lots of smoking breaks.......as evidenced by the butts just off the front porch.....the colors, are as expected...lighter than i had hoped and darker than others were awaiting.......there is some little contrast between the white woodwork and the walls.....and that is heartening......we could, theoretically, have put the back room to rights....but i ran off to the lecture, and my spouse took to his bed in a pre-flu protestation.....tomorrow may be the same.......i hope to travel to lexington to see stephan's friend stafford sing the lead in les miserable......a musical i have never seen...i am looking forward to the experience......but that makes the replacement of furniture a weekend thing.....and this weekend is the last installment of Governor's Cup...an academic compeition for which stephan had qualified in 3 events.......we leave for louisville saturday evening so that we are there 1st thing sunday......and we will not be home until late monday.......which puts house-normalacy (sp) deferred til tuesday at the earliest.....i suppose the paint will have cured by then.....eh?

bob edwards

ok, so this evening stephan and i dashed down to centre's weisiger theatre after supper to see.....bob edwards, speaking as a guest of an endowed lecture series.........and all of liberal danville was there....adults outnumbered actual students 4 to 1........and even some of my most conservative aquaintances were there as well........part of my book club......numerous montessori parents from days gone by........and the talk was so......bob edwardsian........witty, thought-provoking,...and timely.......he talked about the stonewalling of the press that the bush administration has made policy......brought up a story i had not heard about a fellow called upon at a press conference to ask a question so cotton-candy in substance that reall press folks wanted to know about the guy...who turned out to be present under an alias....and under his actual name was employed bu the rnc......go figure....and in his spare time made $200/hour as a male hooker.......and obviously was known to be who he was by the secret service, who do not regularly admit male hookers by accident..........the current climate of 'watch what you say' was addressed, in particular the post and times reporters who may go to jail for not revealing a source of a story that neither actually wrote about, while the guy who did out the cia undercover operative is not under any fear of criminal prosecution.....again...go figure.......it must be noted that bob edwards is a native son.......born and raised in louisville, with kin still living in our county's poorest section called gravel switch.........his own ousting from npr, despite a huge listenership was addressed......and in the end he tied it all up with comparisons to the mccarthy era....and how his idol, edward r murrow sacrificed his own career to take on mccarthy and all that he stood for........he did speak to the small contingent of students.......encouraging them to question authority....question the status quo...ask the tough questions......raise hell......which reminded me of the discussion we had in sunday school.....my friend cynthia was quoting a friend who had the prior evening moaned about the son of a friend who was, as a senior in college, a staunch conservative.....and the friend had bemoaned that youth should be the time for liberality of ideas and saving the world...that conservatism should be the last resort of our old age.........frankly, i think that my thoughts become more rather than less liberal as i age.......even today, when i was addressed by my spouse's mother's name......i corrected him gently but firmly........i am not about to abandon my hyphenated status at this late date....drift into conventional mrs.______(read this as a single rather than double last name).......and i am proud that thus far my offspring show signs of savetheworld rather than watchwhatyousay.............i want to end this rant by voicing my gratitude to lucille little, a bluegrass doyenne of the highest calibre, whose bequest paid for this evening's intellectual treat.....this sort of opportunity makes living in backwater america so much more pleasurable........

ok, so.......

ok, so this was a workday of contrasts........a thin parent of a toddler who gained 10 pounds in 3 months......and cannot understand why the child could be so heavy when she (mom) struggles to keep up her weight (nicotine may eb a factor...)......then there was the 300 pound 18-year-old new mom who never smiled at her infant the entire time she was in my cubicle...and is pumping breast milk because she is concerned that unless she sees the milk going in she will worry that she isn't making enough milk.......she seemed unmoved when i mentioned that julia roberts is breastfeeding twins.......and then there was the 60+ diabetic client who kept talking about the diet that 'kathy the dietitian in danville' had given him in 1982........and finally his wife said.....honey, this is the dietitian who gave you the diet in 1982.........he told the funniest story about what i said to him then.....he had lost 8 pounds between the 1st and second visit.....and i had commented that it was like carrying around an 8-pound baby, and then passing it off to somebody else.......and he had been encouraged by that comment....to the point that as he was leaving he had turned to me and offered that next visit he was going for twins........his wife was really nice and gave me a big hug when they left......that is the sweet side of what i do for a living.....as opposed to the moms who allow their children to run wild.......the client of the overwieght toddler had an older sibling with her....and this child's front teeth were decayed nearly to the gums.....'from candy' the mom explained.......i asked anout her plan to make sure this doesn't happen to the toddler.....and she looked at me like a had 2 heads.....as if prevention was not something that had occurred to her....this si much too common.....the moms who say...she'll only eat cookies an crackers.......like this 3-foot child runs the house and has her/his menu written in stone.......ah well.......another day......

martha's poncho

ok, so much has been written online about martha's get-out-of-jail poncho........and i wan to be on the record as being happy for martha that somebody thought enough of her to want her to leave prison warm and cozy......i have painful regrets of having turned up my nose at a pair of crocheted slippers that my maternal grandmother made for me......and all these 40 years later i am ashamed to think that i put fashion before family connections......so what that my grandmother's crocheted slippers were incredibly ugly....she loved me enough to make them....and that should have been good enough for the likes of me.....

one step ahead.....two steps back....

ok, so i left for work confident that the bulk of the rooms would be painted....and drying or dried.......in time for us to get on with outting things back.....read this as...everything in the back room back in place so i can watch alias tonight at 9:00 pm......but this was not to be....the soot bled through the ceiling white.....and they repainted each and every ceiling again.......and we are today just where we seemed to be yesterday........heck.....and then......i went out to walk, thinking that i could listen to all the songs that i legally downloaded onto my new pda....but no.....it had a blank screen....and the only thing i could figure to do was to use reset...which cleared all new data, including all my contacts...and appararently the licences to downloaded songs........and i have spent the evening trying to figure out how to fix this problem.....and i could just scream.....somebody out there feel sorry for my plight.......nobody here is sympathetic.....

paint fumes......

ok, so i slept under a cloud of paint fumes.......and though latex is not nearly so foul as oil-based paint might have been, it is still offensive and probably taking years off of my potential longevity.......i am amazed that all of the ceilings have been sealed (code for soot-contained).....and painteda brilliant white...the can is generic....and so i have no martha stewart name for this color......i prefer driven snow.........and today we have been promised that several rooms will be knocked off.....at least to the point that we can move back the furniture and maybe put the pictures against a wall for the time being......every picture and objet d'art from our 1st floor is stacked in our bedroom.....and thus the observation that we/i have too much stuff is hard to ignore.......we/i do have a lot of framed photos/originalartwork/posters/prints........and the suggestion has been made that maybe we taper back a bit when replacing these on the walls.........of course, there is the obvious questions to ask.....do we leave off the things i made, you made, your mamma made, our children made.......or just the stuff we bought in memorable spots.....i can still recall the places......like a print shop in london somewhere on the walk back from st paul's....or the prints purchased along the seine...or in antique shops...or the curious prints inherited from family (always the ones nobody else seemed to want........)i like these the best, by the way.........matted and framed they all looked so nice right where they were.....but every nail has been taken down so that the holes can be refilled......and thus i will be starting from scratch...........cannot think on this any more today......too depressing.....

too much stuff.....

ok, so it is official.....i have too much stuff....the painters assured me that they would have gotten much more done today had it not been for having to move furniture and stuff......to my own defense......i will state that had i known they were coming today i would have gone to great lengths to move all of this stuff......and i will spend the rest of the day carting the stuff that needs moved upstairs......the subject came up when the painters realized that they needed to paint the ceiling in the closet in the hall......which is where they had stashed all of the artwork, framed posters, framed pictures, from the guest room, hall and stairwell......and when i offered to have it all out of the way by tomorrow morning...they shyly asked if i didn't mind but to move all of the whatnots from shelves as well as pictures from walls from the remaining rooms........wow......it is a lot of stuff when you have to move it.....and my fear is that once it is taken down it will never go back up in the same way.......which could be freeing, i suppose.......but i really liked things the way they were.........in that respect i am still in the denial stage of grief....nowhere near acceptance......

chaos and confusion....

ok, so i came home early from a meeting in frankfort to find all the doors and windows open despite the snow....and painters working on ceilings.....and everything downstairs is covered up...as it should be.....but nowhere to sit down to read the paper....and certainly no treadmill in a spot where i can go ahead and walk indoors......not really interested in walking in the snow if i do not have to do so......and while i am glad that this painting business is moving along......i am starting to have doubts about the color choices.........will the yellow we picked for the halls and bathroom look ok with the bathtub they put in.....i just don't know now......i will just know after they leave.....and that is the part that worries me......

vin rouge.....

ok, so since book club i have been drinking a bit of red wine......mostly because my friends brought nice red wines and there was some left in each and every bottle....i especially like a blend of cabernet and shiraz from australia...not too dry...not too sweet....very smooth......and sippable.......not that i will give up on whites.....really good whites taste like happiness feels.......and i really don't get that kind of joy from reds...at least so far........but given since one just never knows about anything for certain....i am hedging my best with both reds and whites........and do not anticipate any level of desperation that would require blush or white zinfandel.................now that would be a glass half empty

more good news.....

ok, so my middle-child's upeast college of choice has written to advise us that they have raised tuition/expenses.....and thus are also raising his financial package to accomodate this hike in fees...........how very nice..........

ok, so this business of stealing known works of art from public places is confusing in this age of cybercommunication..........artists like munch are too well-known for this sort of stuff to be fenced or sold openly...the only folks who would want it are people who have the means to view it privately and never have need to sell it.....and with the woman in the blue dress.....i am baffled that someone would like it so much that just possessing it and not being able to brag about it would suffice........could it be the same guy who stole/had stolen the scream by the same painter......could this collector just have a passion for the painter and desire to have a fuller grouping of similar works.........if i ever had enough ready cash to bankroll designer heists, i wouldn't bother with munch.....he is too depressing......i would rather have a few still-life oils by cezanne and maybe a landscape or two......just a small suite that would look nice together on the same wall......of course, i wouldn't be able to keep such a marvelous view to myself......that would be a major drawback to this plan.......  

walking partners......

ok, so i walked 2 miles at lunch with someone i met at a committee meeting......walking is such personal event that walking partners must be carefully screened.....and i do believe that this person will be just fine for mondays.....i counted no fewer than 5 safe topics of conversation......and that is a lot to ask of someone i just met through work........and now i can at least walk safely at the park......safety is a concern because of the remoteness of the walking path......it circumnavigates the park......and the back section is not visible from the front due to terrain.......i do get the feeling that politics will never be on the table for discussion....but i can live with that........

dreams.....

ok, so in my dreams last night i spent a sluggish amount of time trying to locate sugar for somebody's eat in the restaurant that i no longer own......and somehow a pingpong table had been converted to a pool table.......not as strange as the dream the night before.....in which we somehow were sitting for a 4 year-old boy...the son of somebody who lived on our new street.....and when we went to take him home his house had disappeared........why would we dream of more children.........

ok, so i didn't evenbother to watch this game...why would one spend the time given osu's dismal year......and yet osu took down the #1 unbeaten team....wow...maybe they will somehow sneak into the ncaa tourney and do similar things.........a big maybe........ 

overthetop......

ok, so my church service today was overthetop in terms of being overly contrived......to the point that the guest pastor sequed into a soundsystem-backup rendition by the minister of music of some gospel top 10 hit that left me speechless in disbelief.......especially given that he and a former member sang an impressive duet to start the service....a prayer once performed by charlotte church and josh groban...that was decent with just a piano accompaniment...so why the cheesy piped in backround stuff...this guy has a ph.d. for heaven's sake....he should act like he has a shred of dignity.......i was in tears, though..on the way out....not because of the music...but because the benediction was the only one i ever heard me dad say...it was the one he used when ever asked to pray in public.......and however moved i was during this spectacle we now call church...it was the 5 lines at the close.......and that only because of the memories it invoked.......

bbc world service......

ok, so the bbc was broadcasting a sunday morning show as the clock radio came on at 6:30 am......we do not touch the clock radio's alarm...it is set at 6:30 7 days a week to make sure that it is correct on work days......not only out of superstition.....but also to make sure that we get up in reasonable time to get things done on saturdays and sundays.....but i do not teach sunday school this morning....so rather than turn off the radio and go back to sleep...i opted to listen to the bbc world service weekend report and sports roundup.....here is the gist of what i remember........some guy won the melbourne formula one race for the 1st time...but the big news was that a racer from india placed well.....and the correspondent from the india times was very excited about this breakthrough.......taiwan will become an independent country over mainland china's dead body(s)......and the laundry list of strategies employed by mainland china to thwart acceptance of taiwan internationally were exposed.......chelsea will play barcelona for some big championship tuesday.....which appears to be big news because chelsea is ahead of machester united and barcelona is ahead of real madrid (where mr beckham now plays)...in the points....i was unaware that standings in european football are based on points scored.....not on wins......seems like a really good idea, actually........and the us davis cup team lost...i had never heard of the players interviewed for the story...but they seemed very bummed out by the loss........just thought you would want to know......

advice......

ok, so my eldest popped home for a brief visit...mostly to sign his fafsa and tax return forms.......but also to ask my advice on some burning questions...gentle readers........there cannot be a moment quite as sweet as the child who once told you that he could take care of himself with my help/advice/counsel.........ask for my opinion.......o happy day........well.....it wasn't that burning of a question....not something major like getting married or having elective surgury......but significant enough that i was touched that he wanted to know what i thought.......

ok, so i liked this piece i saw online.......and may incorporate the general theme of quilt pieces.........i really like this direction for my inspired work........ 

art.......

ok, so the wallpaper stripping project went really quick for the bathroom and hall....the kitchen paper must have been afixed with superglue.......i have set aside large pieces of wallpapers from three different rooms for the purpose of composing a collage of some sort.......maybe i will also utilize rejected paint chips in this creation.......a sort of phoenix rising from the ashes.........i like this idea.....if it turns out well i may just call up martha and let her know........

saturday........

ok, so it is saturday.......a day of potential for those who care to get up early enough and make it happen......or a day to lay about in jammies until the sun gets warm and then maybe think about making dinner.......i have not yet chosen my path for this day, but with martha out of prsion i feel inspired...........let me share a few possibilities.....for starts, i could go ahead and take down the wallpaper in the bathroom, the hall, and the kitchen.....yeah, i know that somebody else could get paid to do this...but i want everything ready for the painters and i do not want something like taking down my old wallpaper to get in the way.......i am opting for painted walls.....for the time being....because i cannot decide on wallpaper and because i want to be sure that the walls underneath any future wallpaper are actually painted to match everything else......right now there is nought but white paint on the walls in question.......i could start in on the flowerbeds......pulling up wild onions and removing dead matter.........and i could start either covering the bathroom chair myself.......and make the bathroom window treatments myself.......and i suppose i could go to lowes and buy a replacement miniblind for the 'firewindow'......the bathtub is actually 'in' but not caulked.....which makes not a lick of sense that they would go to the trouble to set it in and then not make it usable........technically....i could paint the whole room today myself and get it overwith........but i think just removing the paper should be enough work for today....must save a little time for a nice nap........

disconnect

ok, so i get to the dashboard section of this site with my pda....but then it disconnects.......i have been able to look at hotmail......at cnn......even hp's website...(go figure)...but not beyond a critical point in blogger.........hmmmmm.....and i have been able to download 58 music files....but no more than that....and i have no idea why...as i own the cd's that the music came from.........hmmmmmm........this will be a bumpy ride........

ipaq mobile media companion

ok, so today i invested in a handheld.....after much research and comparisons......and so far my frustration level is at red.......if and when i can organize songs...or even locate songs on this contraption....i might just be able to listen to them.....pray for me......

ok, so martha should be back home in her own bed right about now......i do hope she allows herself the pleasure of sleeping in....all of those pesky details about whether or not she can be ceo of her own company can surely wait till she is rested up........i read in monet magazine that women are more likely than men to 'forgive' martha.........and why not....she has been through a lot, both professionally and personally.....and women do have soft spot for redemption stories......... 

trouble......

ok, so i was party to some trouble today....and i do not know how it oculd have been averted.......the client came in, visibly pregnant with her 4th client.....eager to avoid a large weight gain with her 4th child......a 2-year-old in tow......i should have known that trouble was brewing when she commented that they were late.....given that the 2 year-old fussed until she stopped at mcdonalds to buy him a sausage biscuit......2 year-olds in charge of an agenda= trouble.......bingo....the mom required a hemoglobin....which meant a fingerstick...which meant a bandaid....and this chiuld fussed so about not having a bandaid himself that i finally relented and gave him a new one from the container on my desk......at which point this child pitched a fit to reach over to this bin to get out of it what he willed......anything and everything......and when his mom said no he threw himself upon my floor and screamed and kicked...until his mom saif thanks, but we have to go.....and they went to lobby......screams continued until she took him outdoors......and that is where i lost visual and audio......but an employee was pulled up to the health department in time to witness her thrashing the 'daylights out of him' as they say around here.....and she proceeded to call social services.....gentle readers......i have mixed feelings on this....as i did not witness her laying a hand upon him.......much as i would have liked to do so......this was the kind of child that one thinks to oneself......'why doesn't that parent discipline him?'.........and when she does she is so distraught that she goes overboard......it started when she stopped at mcdonalds.....2 year-olds shouldn't leave the house without being fed....no matter what they holler for......and given such a heady victory.....it is no wonder that he wanted a handful of bandaids next........2 year-olds in charge are a danger to everybody involved.......and the fatc that this is a 3rd child is doubly scarey........if i was told that she had a dubya 04 sticker in her window...i wouldn't be surprised.............