trivia.....

ok, so i was so wrapped up in how much paul giamatti looked like my brother that i almost failed to take a closer look......in fact.....he has a b.a. and a m.a. from yale, where his father was a professor of renaissance literature......before he took over as baseball commissioner for a brief stint before he suddenly died.......yes....paul giamatti is the son of dr. bart giamatti...the guy who banned pete rose from baseball for life............omg.......it is a small world..........

an accounting.....

ok, so as per nick hornby's book....the polysyllabic spree i have undertaken the task of a dual-listing.......one column for books obtained....and the other for books read......and so for january...the tally is as follows:

Books Obtained (begged, borrowed, bought):
The Polysyllabic Spree- Nick Hornby
Faithful- Steven King/Stewart O'Nan
Lamb- Chris Wood
Bound to Please- Michael Durda
Chronicles Volume 1- Bob Dylan
Gilead- Marilynn Robinson
The Bookshop- Penelope Fitzgerald
Human Voices- Penelope Fitzgerald


Books read:
The Polysyllabic Spree- Nick Hornby
Faithful- Steven King/Stewart O'Nan
Lamb- Chris Wood
Bound to Please- 50%, random chapters
The Bookshop- Penelope Fitzgerald
Human Voices- Penelope Fitzgerald
Guide to Hemingway's Paris- John Leland
A Moveable Feast- E.Hemingway (reread)
Pride and Prejudice- 33% (reread)


Not a bad start for the year.....of course, i must admit that i spent far too much money on books.......money spent on books cannot be spent on plane tickets....

independence......

ok, so my mother flies to columbus, ohio tomorrow...to have shoulder surgery tuesday.......we had a family dinner this evening as a sendoff.......andrew came down from lexington with michelle.....we are all in amazement that she is proceeding with a surgery that has dubious benefits......so far away......but my mother is determined to go ahead with it.......my sunday school class commented that maybe my independent streak comes from her.......hmmmmmmm....which is why i bring to the discussion the thought for today...from the lexington herald leader.......from earlier this week.....a comment from colette.....french author 1873-1954......'i love my past. i love my present. i'm not ashamed of what i've had and i'm not sad because i have it no longer..'............quite a sentiment after spilling turkey drippings all over my kitchen.......but a true one at that............

dylan's biography

ok, so i spent yesterday afternoon upstairs on the loveseat...yeah the one in front of the window that is too high for a view of the creek.......reading bob dylan's autobiography...the one nominated for a book award.......an easy read for a drizzled afternoon.....and a disappointing one, for that matter........for starts, dylan goes to great lengths to uphold his main contention...that he is no prophet....and certainly not the voice of a generation........and so he only discusses writing a very few songs.....and those are the truly 'folk' ones......like ones about sinking boats and train wrecks.......and he only mentions his own songs in the context of other people singing them........when he liked the other guys version better.......and curiously, his entire recording career happened without his wives or his children being involved/being around/being distracting.........he mentions casually that his farm in woodstock new york became problematic, because people would drive up and get out of their cars.....and look at a guy sitting at the picnic table with 5 children and 'say...that couldn't be him'.....and leave........an entire book, and the only mention of his children is in passing...........and i only know that he had more than one wife because i got on line half-way through and looked up other references...........he really only mentions his first wife's name in the last chapter.......and other than a few mentions about her being there for some seminal event......his comments after 12 years of marriage were....she took one road and i took the other..........either she wouldn't let him say anything....and the kids didn't want to be mentioned, or he is a selfish sonofagun......the second wife fares no better......she is also mentioned only briefly despite a 6-year marriage......ok, so that is what disaapointed me about the book.....so let us talk about that parts that i enjoyed....like the nyc apartment where he 'crashed' on the fold-out sofa in the library for what seemed like months......the aprtment owners were hippie-types who came from inherited wealth...so the library was stocked with all sorts of first editions and intellectual stuff......dylan read homer, ovid, faulkner......whom he couldn't finish ........freud.......dostevysky........he would just pull them off the shelves, and either read them through or recall why he didn't bother to finish.......i liked that perspective on his backround.......he really never mentions that he dropped out of the u of minnesota.......but thsi was an education he kind of did on his own that might have influenced his songwriting......though he never says so....because other than woody guthrie, dylan never really credits an influences.......he does, however, seem to recall every bar/hall,stage he ever played in or on....and every musician he ever sat down with...whether on stage or in someone's kitchen.........and he had many meetings with the poet archibald mccleish......a guy who was a parisian ex-pat when hemingway lived there.......mccleish spent a lot of time trying to figure out what made dylan tick, and dylan seemed to enjoy getting together with him.....mccleish seemed to see dylan as a poet rather than a songwriter...........so maybe that is why chronicles is subtitled volume one....maybe he plans to explain everything missing in volume one in a future volume 2.......like.....what he meant by the siamese cat that the guy carried on his shoulder..... in the song like a rolling stone.......i like that part and would love to know it what it meant .........ah well.......we are closing in on the last day of january...when i intend to list the books obtained versus the books read this past month........my goal for the new year........running out of time, i see.......

penelope fitzgerald......

ok, so yesterday on my friday 'nearly' off....i stopped by the library to look for penelope fitzgerald.......first off i found grace.......grace, the ex-trc waitress who once referred to me as a post-neo-quasi hippie........she is now working at the library...doing much that my eldest used to do when he held the same parttime post.......she greeted me with a great-big-hug....and then went on to epxlain that she has officially dropped out of her centre college b.a. program in favor of a 'healing degree' from someplace in lexington........omg......and then i had the chance to embrace my friend diana, she who has recently and officially shed the spouse i thought she had divorced years ago ......she quoted mlk....freeatlast...freeatlast.....you know the drill.........and then i found these two slim volumes by penelope fitzgerald.......slim is an understatement......the bookshop has 129 pages........129.......and it so concise that one could not shake out 2-3 words if a gun were held to one's head.......it is an emotional rollercoaster for those few pages....and i felt myself feeling quite attached to the middle-aged widow who risks all to open a bookshop on a coastal western town in the 50's.......and now i must read lolita...(this book played big in the bookshop, but that would give away too much plot)..........the book by nabokov that my book club read just before i invited myself to join......speaking of bookclubs......i was approached by someone in the library, who used to eat at trc.......one of those women who i do not trust on general principle because she has such transparent concern for the well-being of others.......how ARE you doing since you left the restaurant?......i have worried SO about you.......HA!..if she really wanted to know she wouldn't have waited so long to find out, now would she.......she ended this flimsy conversation of interest/concern/patronage/condecension by inviting me to HER bookclub..........which appears to meet the same night as my own......wow....i pondered this magnanimous invitation for a 1-count......then declined kindly on the grounds of scheduling conflicts.....true enough........ but mostly i couldn't stand to listen to this sort of drivel for too many evenings.........but back to penelope........her book is riveting in that quiet, british way.........i liked it better than her other book that i checked out...human voices.....which takes place at the bbc in 1944 london.......when i picked that one up to read....out dropped a boarding pass....from an atlanta/jacksonville light on delta......first class, in fact.........bearing the name of a woman who occassionally showed up to the trc friday afternoon gathering of 'godesses'........i can only date this coupon by her last name........which was in the nam eof her most recent ex-husband......gentle readers.....in a small town....one can only be expected to keep track of one's first and second marriages.....after that i feel no obligation to follow subsequent alliances........in the same way that liz taylor couldn't have expected her friends let alone her aquaintances to keep score with her multiple marriages......anyway......this woman was once stepmother to a child that i remember with tenderness........i was helping to serve breakfast at the hospital one morning when i was still expecting my eldest....and this child was but a newborn in her mother's arms...we chatted for quite a time about motherhood, and the awesome responsibilties therein.........and later this same child attended montessori with my eldest....even after her mother passed away tragically.....and we were on a field trip to the children's musuem in lexington...and we were crossing over from the parking garage...and she grabbed my hand so forcefully, as if she was willing to take shelter and comfort from any and all adults.........so here was this book that had clearly been read by this goddess.....on a trip from here to there.......years ago...it would seem........and i felt some comfort in knowing that this book had interested her...just like it interested me........hmmm........the 129 page sof the bookshop have haunted me........why cannot i manage to put 129 pages of thought on paper........this retiree penelope managed to do it....so why cannot i do the same.........

sideways....

ok, so we got a wild hair to blow through supper,leave cayle at my mom's and to go to the local cinema to see sideways while it is still in town.....our cinema has no rhyme nor reason for the comings and goings of movies....our instinct was that this movie would be around from friday through thursday and then be gone......and given the rumors of 'bad weather a-coming'......well, we dropped everything and went........for those who have not seen this film.........it grows on you.......i like it better this morning that i did when i left the theatre, which is to say that i was not sure about what really happened while i was watching.........which is kind of like life in general......and the growing of grapes/making of wines.......the proof is in the pudding, and the results don't get counted for years after.......and so in this film we watch thomas hayden church head to wine country with his college roommate paul giamatti.......as a last getaway before church gets married.....church plays an actor past his prime, giamatti plays a middle school english teacher trying to get his novel published.......and so the story unfolds in both predictable and unpredicted ways.......which was hard to focus upon because.........in this film paul giamatti is the spitting image of my brother...right down to the male pattern baldness, the mannersisms, the facial expressions, the intensity with which he approaches his passions (writing and wine).......and i was relieved that others in my party saw these same details.....and happily we did not have to see paul giamatti naked....that would have been just too much for even my particular level of voyeuristic tendencies......and so we see that paul giamatti appears to have just about as many descriptives for wines as church has for the male anatomy.......his personal obsession......and when the movie wraps up with confusion and lack of focus........i was unable to make sense of it.......time really does bring out the bouquet in this film.......which i hope was their point........hmmmm.........surely the vineyards featured in all of the wine drinking/tasting/swirling will make out well after this movie makes its rounds......at the very least the pinot noir grape will become better known.........eventually the meaning behind the movies name will dawn on me........as i said, these things take time......

there and back again.....

ok, so i am home for the weekend.....already this morning....when i figured out my time sheet for the payperiod, with the help of the clerk in charhe of such things......and coded in the 2 trainings i attended last week in lexington...travel time.....working through lunch on friday during the second training......the required work hours were reached as of 9:00 am....and the clerk said.......you'll be over if you stay the rest of the day...go on home.......gentle readers.....i do not require a sedond invitation to leave early.....and so i have leisurely read the paper over a nice cup of coffee.....and i will start in on my saturday chores.....and maybe get in a nap this afternoon..........all before the weekend actually happens.....certainly a sign of God's grace on my poor undeserving existence...to have such generous working conditions.......

loyal opposition......

ok, so i have just been handed a treasure trove of gifts from india.....thoughtful things brought back by one of my favorite people......the loyal opposition.......a woman with whom i have traveled to continental europe more often than i have with my spouse........candied fennel......a large container of saffron....and lovely onyx earrings.....such thoughtfulness....and now she heads out to strasbourg for a semester at centre college's european campus......not to stay where we stayed 3 years ago.....but with a family......my favorite memory of rachel in strasbourg is the day she skipped out on the tour of the cathedral with ivan.....to get her hair streaked in red.........in my imagined rachel-in-strasbourg image she will again have red-streaked hair...........it seems fitting, actually...bon voyage..........should i win the loterry we will be over to see you.......maybe have some vegetarian raclette.......

stereotypes.....

ok, so i was visited professionally today by a series of stereotypical folk....all unfortunately tied into the general and unfortunate 'kentucky' stereotype.............first there was the 16 year-old determined to drop out of high school now that she is pregnant...and the woman who was taken aback when i assumed that the 3 and 4 year olds with her were, in fact, her own children....'how can they be mine...i am 35..no...these are my grandbabies'......and then there was the visibly pregnant woman who was smoking outside the front door in the chilling temperature.....accompanied by her 18 month-old who was till in her zip-up pajamas and unwashed/unfed......(it was past lunchtime)....the child threw a classic fit about wanting something mom wasn't prepared to give her.....lunch....by throwing herself on the floor of my office and proceeding to kick, scream and beat her fists......omg.....and then there was the newly diabetic client who weighs twice what i weigh.......sadly....whose husband recently left her and she is living in a trailer with friends, sleeping on their sofa.....and she has every health problem known to mankind....and she looks 65 rather than 41 because she also smokes.......gentle readers.......one does what one can for these folks.......but at the end of the day one simply has to walk away and put it all of of mind.......especially under this administration..these are the kind of folks who don't know any better....and won't be learning better any time soon......and all the talk about taking away benefits to the undeserving just leaves them worse off than they are now.......in a pitiable state of affairs.............and......just who are the deserving poor.........in my bible it reminds me that none of use deserve grace.........

temptation.....

ok, so this week temptation has pressed upon my weary constitution with unbearble pressure........and it is the worst kind of seduction.......especially for someone who truly prefers salty over sweet...it started on monday when my supervisor went out at lunch and bought a bag of chips and a carton of french onion dip.......gentle readers...this is something i could never bring myself to do...but once those chips were 'in the house' and sitting in the free-for-all area of the lounge.....well.. it was all i could do to stay out of them.....and now here at the l.county h.dept....there are 2 kinds of potato chips in the breakroom....and doritos.....omg......how can i be here all day and keep my hands out of the bag.........this must be what alcoholism is like........even counting the chips as a self-deterent.....i am up to 2 servings........pray for me, gentle readers...it si going to be a very long day....tasty, satisfying.....but long.......

really cold......

ok, so it is quite cold this morning.....and cold weather is problematic for public health.....people who need our services don't like to come out in the cold even when they have appointments scheduled.......and so i rush like a crazy person to get to work, only to wait for something to do......at least i was bundled up....my youngest steppped out of the car at school without bothering to zip up her jacket, put on gloves, or pull up her hood......and when she gets pneumonia she will be surprised that she could have prevented it......ah well........i need to find a nice warm spot to wait for business.....

free vasectomies?

ok, so this morning someone happened upon my blog through a google search for......free vasectomies in oklahoma........oh my..i cannot imagine that i have blogged about oklahoma....or vasectomies for that matter.......maybe the word 'free' has popped up from time to time......i hope the searcher was not too disappointed.......

rennovation.....

ok, so i have been following along with the community-partnered rennovation/restoration of an antebellum (sp) home that i pass on my way to work each day......it really must have been a showplace in its day.....and so southern, with it's columns and veranda.....not a plantation home.....no..this was certainly meant to be a town place, while the real money was earned on a farm out in the county somewhere.......the entire street is lined with such 'town' homes......that likely had ancillary buildings out back.....and maybe a place to let out the carriage horses, and possibly a small garden, but the real base of operation.....the place where one raised the pigs, chickens and cows.....and cotton/tobacco/corn/wheat was somewhere else....but back to the restoration.......it will be lovely to look at, but not necessarily lovely to be in....as it's view consists mainly of the a quickmart and several run-down stores that may or may not be actively in business.........plus an unfortunate tangle of electric lines.....ends just in front of the porch.......hardly room to get a nice postcard picture without airbrushing out the offensive clutter.........so while i am impressed by the project...saving a historical building......i am saddened that it is being saved in such a dismal locale........

bound to please......

ok, so at lunch at work i am finishing, ever so slowly...the book of book reviews.........it is set up in such a way that i can pick and choose which 'chapters' i care to read.......i enjoyed the review of a book of letters between nancy mitford and evelyn waugh.......a biography of bruce chatwin....an adventurer who liked to keep a wife in a cottage in wales whilst he covorted with savage males, females, and presumably sheep.....from the tales told of him.....michael dirda says that i should read underworld by don delilo......and crime and punishment...though i will not attempt this book until amessiahcomplex says that it is worth my time.......he also liked bred to the bone....an old bookclub book that i never warmed up to.......one author that i am intrigued enough to check out on amazon is penelope fitzgerald.......an author who never popped up on the grid until she had raised her children and retired........i also enjoyed the review of samuel pepys's diaries........he may be my hero......he who chronicolled (sp) his every sexual act and bowel moment for 9 full years....for the record he had many of both.......his diary is a marvel of the blog handwritten and unedited.......he goes from the hanging of thieves to ravishing the maid and having his wife find them out without a gasping breathe........in fact, it appears that he and his wife had 'relations' more often after she caught him cheating than before.......go figure.......we own this book.....somewhere.....and i might just read it.......after i finish....pride and predjudice....which i am rereading for the umpteenth time........it never fails to amuse me.....austen has such ascerbic wit when it comes to describing the complexities of her characters.......i would like to think that i could have enjoyed knowing her...at the very least she had better penmanship.........i come to the crossroads in my life...when i am beginning to be unable to read my own handwriting.....such is the bane of lefthanders..........ah well.......maybe jane was a leftie as well......

hyphens.....

ok, ao today i was going through an old file....prior to throwing most of it away......i work with packrats worse than myself....and throwing away is the best way to deal with them all..........when i chanced to see that one of these nurses used to go by a hyphenated last name........and now she does not.......and this concerns me....that so few women choose either to keep a given name, or to hyphen, or make some sort of compromise....like the friend who just rearranged the letters to make a new name........either way.........so few women.......sort of a backlash to the feminist movement......and i have no understanding of it all......taking my spouses name part and parcel was never an issue....had the hyphen not sounded so good i would have just kept my name........and so i have not had the chance to ask her why she took a hyphen only to backtrack.......was it just simpler, in a rural red state....did it sound too eastcoast or westcoast or progressive...or liberal......and how i have i managed to stand firm on my particular hyphen for nearly a quarter of a century....un- characterisitic attention to detail for a woman who cannot manage to squeeze the toothpaste from the end.......

who's afraid of.....

ok, so today was the birthday of virginia woolf.......she of the famous quote from book club about how she wrote of squishy hormonal stuff........i won't go that far in my assessment of her work or her worth......she did write one of my favorite books......a room of one's own......which is actually a presentation that she gave once at a woman's college.....later worked into a long essay about women and literature in 1929 she wrote: "So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say. But to sacrifice a hair of the head of your vision, a shade of its colour, in deference to some Headmaster with a silver pot in his hand or to some professor with a measuring-rod up his sleeve, is the most abject treachery, and the sacrifice of wealth and chastity, which used to be said to be the greatest of human disasters, a mere flea-bite in comparison.........of course, when i read these words i hear nicole kidman saying them......she who won an oscar for her portrayal of the delicate and marginally insane virginia.........but then are not all people marginally delicate and/or insane from time to time......writing what i like hepls keep me on the acceptable side of sanity...or so i hope.......the day is still young.......

vissi d'arte......

ok, so i have never been much of an opera fan....but my middle son's friend is a soprano, whose favorite role is tosca....so i have downloaded a few arias by stafford's favorite performers.......maria callas and kiri de kanawa....so very soulful...despite my lack of italian.......and so very tragic...having read a synopsis of the opera on-line........i do not see myself leaping out any windows any time soon........but then......i am rarely called upon in my field of expertise for passion beyond accepted standards of care........maybe that could be the next big opera libretto....dietitian who flings herself from a medical center window over the low carb diet.........nah.....i don't see it...............

ok, so audrey tautou has been chosen to play the lead in the davinci code opposite tom hanks.....and i am delighted....she was so special in amelie........and she would make an especially fragile granddaughter of the murdered louvre director........such a good choice made by ron howard........i only wish i could be in paris to watch it all during filming.....as it is i will just bide my time until opening night.....i will be the crazy older lady sleeping outside the ticket office...to be the first in line....... 

ok, so this guy is probably a democrat...but is is sadly the newest case of double-dipping in state government.........MEMPHIS, Tennessee (AP) -- A state lawmaker who heads a committee on child welfare has acknowledged that he lives in separate homes with two women whose children he fathered......oh my......and to make matters worse, his ex-wife is pregnant with their baby, even while he basically lives with his girlfriend and their children...all the while there is a woman claiming he fathered her 10-year-old.........and to make matters even worse.......he is not especially good looking........oh my........ 

precision......

ok, so the lord could strike me dead for even talking about this subject...given that i am willy-nilly about most things.......bank balances, ingredients in recipes, planting depth for roses/tulips/daffodils.........close enough is usually good enough for me........probably why i do well enough in my particular branch of science...as nutrition is built upon close-enough...even the rda's are padded upwards of 30%........and they are guidelines rather than absolutes....with room for individual differences......with handcrafts i have lesser standards than my mother, who has been known to rip apart an entire sweater to correct a mistake in the knitting pattern......whereas i would have ignored the flaw til the end of time..........willy-nilly except for one specific venue....time.....i cannot stand to be late........and i am greatly discomforted by the lack of synchronization between clocks in my building....the phone clock, the computer clock, the wall clocks, my watch, my cell phone......i have gone to the trouble of reading the telephone user-manual......gentle readers...this was a major move, as i make it my business to never read directions........and i still cannot seem to get it in synch with everything else.........i am biding my time until mid-february, when my probationary period is up....not that i have concerns, but i did not want to make a fuss about something that no one else appears to find vexing....and appear un-necessarily ocd.....this singular attention to time is missing in most of my blood-kin....as well as in my spouse......only in my father did i see glimpses of my own particular and still minor obsession.......the story goes that my spouse's grandmother, kateryn warak weber, the one who ventured to america from roumania at age 14 to clean houses in cincinnati...was equally concerned with time........she was known to sit on the sofa at my mother-in-law's house, coat and hat in place.....asking....'are vee going to go or vaht?'...she was my kind of woman......and i am truly sorry that i never chanced to meet her.........though i must say that when i received my certificate for attending the insulin program on friday...i was not especially pleased to have it in the name of kathryn weber...(the name of my late mother-in-law) ....certainly not close enough to my name for my purposes.........i still go out of my way...after 23 years as a hyphen...to ask for corrections, clarifications.......moreso if the error is so far from the name i started out with.........ah well....... i will let you know if i manage ot stage a major syncronization next month...everyone i know poised to adjust their immediate timepieces.......or maybe i will just let this singular issue ride..........willy-nilly is a hard habit to break......

the orange coat

ok, so today at sunday school....and church, several women commented on how much they liked my orange coat........none of this .....'but you never wear orange stuff.....'just reflections on the coat and how nice it looked........frankly, women may make up answers when asked directly, but they rarely offer false feelings on their own........and given that many women came in the door wearing red coats...and heaven knows that half the congregation owns some sort of royal blue u.k garment.........i fail to see how a red coat or a blue coat is acceptable and an orange coat has pariah status ...at least in familiar circles........

ok, so this is a blurry picture of the foxes my brother photographed in his suburban d.c./virginia backyard during the snowstorm.......wow........red foxes so close to downtown d.c. 

back to lamb.....

ok, so i am back to reading lamb......i have hit a patch of laugh-out-loud places.....most welcome in any novel, and certainly the humor involved in this paticular volume is ironic....given that book club just reviewed a book about galileo that covered much of his heresy trial.......life is still good as we know it if books such as lamb have not caused the contraversy....at least not to spongepants bob proportions...of course, it is possible that the religious right has yet to read lamb........especially not the part that involves a turnip.......gentle readers....i never saw that coming.....it is worth buying the book and getting to the turnip part just to see the total hilarity in it.......the turnip is only what biff was stealing/eating at the time.......cannot give away too much here...the surprise is part of the moment's memorable nature......i should polish this book off in the next day or two.....which brings me to my next book........i am considering gilead....nominated for a national book award....or bob dylan's autobiography, also nominated for a book award.......now that i am gainfully employed i feel less guilt about buying books.....though i must keep in mind the critical mass theory of book buying...there will come the book whose weight tilts the balance and causes out house to slide into the creek.....but surely not these books....not this order from amazon..........there is the library.......but what fun is that when there are books to buy and reread........reread.....yes...i could just begin the reread of jane austin...i am due a reread....starting with pride and prejudice...i have quoted twice from this work in the past 2 weeks........each and every life circumstance comes down to something that jane has already covered in a novel......she was such a fine judge of human nature and natural folly.....and recorded all of these foibles for the rest of us to ponder, and to learn from.........so can this be a codicil to the critical mass theory...that books reread take away from new books purchased in some grander mathematical way.........like buying and selling co2 credits......of course, lacking the mind for math i will just save the fiddle-de-dee for another day....and get back to my book...........

the winter garden......

ok, so i am having mixed results with plants over these gloomy indoor months........while i have a lovely amaryllis blooming.......a bulb that i have managed to coddle over several seasons.....and i have a geranium in bloom as well...but......i have also killed off 2..count em two........ivy topiaries......greenery trained on tuteurs.....and these were the plants i was most careful about.....it was as if they willed themselves to die despite my best efforts.......a fauna version of suicide, perhaps......and so i will drag the pots and frames back to garage......and rearrange the plants that remain in the downstairs bathroom....the one with the jacuzzi tub...the one where i thought they had the best chance at survival with southern exposure, moisture......how very vexing.....considering that the nursury where i bought the ivy closed up.....and i really don't want to go to lowes, or walmart in search.......but back to the amaryllis...it is red and white striped....and just precious.......ah....let me just see the glass as half full for a few moments.........

the lost blog......

ok, so my last blog was somehow lost in the publishing....and is gone......and i reacted to this by taking a nap......and now that i have gotten over the missing words...i shall attempt to recreate what struck my interest the first time......it was an observation from church, as i recall.......an unexpected spector that warmed my soul......i suppose that is why one goes to church in the first place....for the soul-warming........but today there was that little bit extra......a family of 5 came in to the middle section downstairs......in the balcony we only see about 50% of the middle section, 100% of the far section, and none of the section beneath us......but i digress......the family is a blended one......2 older children from the daddy's first marriage, the new wife, and their new baby......the older daughter looks about 14 and the son about 12......as they sat down, the son not only sat the baby in her carrier beside him, he also proceeded to get the baby out, get her clothing adjusted, her pacifer in place.......and then.....he held her for most of the service........gentle readers, this child's devotion to his youngest half-sibling was so sweet, and appeared to be so spontaneous, as opposed to 'son, it is your job to take care of the baby during church...'.......if there is such tenderness available in our youth, then i have hope for the world........

the guy from harvard......

ok, so the guy from harvard really stuck his foot in it recently, mostly by stating that men are naturally superior to women in math and the sciences, and then not having the sense to take it back.....not a smart move by a college president, whose basic job is to keep the applications from the best and the brightest coming......those future students will turn out to be future alumni who might just feel the need to endow a chair, or a building, or a satellite...or whatever...i can hear the conversation now.....successful husband to successful wife....i was thinking maybe we could donate a museum to harvard, in thanks for my having met you there......wife in response....sorry honey, turns out i was never smart enough to go there let alone get my phd in nuclear physics and discover the cure for the common cold.....lets donate that museum to the nice women at wellesley.........this rebuttal is worth the reading......

classics......

ok, so i have to go on record as an eternal fan of classic rock and roll...that to this date....at my advanced age...i will still turn up the volume on stairway to heaven or ramble on...because nothing that led zepplin ever did sounds good on low.......

ok, so the anniversary of roe-v-wade had come up yet again.....and the mm must weigh in on the subject.......much as this option is sad, it is necessary.......one would think that after 28 years of awareness i would have changed my mind on the subject.....from college days when perfectly reasonable women found themsleves on the wrong end of the rabbit test.....and opted for the path of least resistance......anybody who tells you that adoption is the best option is full of crap, by the way.........and has neither given birth and adopted out, nor adopted a child from a known individual......the following was on line.....In San Francisco, thousands of abortion opponents marched on the city's waterfront, chanting slogans like "Women deserve better," while abortion rights supporters tried to drown them out with their own rallying cries.

Condoms were tossed at the anti-abortion marchers, and people waved coat hangers in a reference to the days of back-alley abortions........i have said this before, as well, byut my children are related to a woman who died from the infection that followed an illegal abortion....no woman should be in the position to risk life and limb because she did not have all of the facts about either conception or contraception...........not in red or blue states...... 

song lyrics....

ok, so while i was taking a well-deserved hot bath....my spouse put on one of his christmas cd's....the one by k.d.lang...songs from the _____parallel....48th?...56th...i don't know but my point is that one of the songs she sings is by a canadian named leonard cohen....hallelujah......this song i had heard by another guy, a deceased genius named jeff buckley.....whose cover of this tune has been used as a backdrop for numerous tv shows of late.....it is haunting....the lyrics are as follows:

Hallelujah

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

song lyrics never look as compelling on paper as they sound when sung.....trust me on this.....haunting, evocative......and not on any of my mix cd's.........must correct this major error in judgement.......

on the road.....

ok, so i did the meanmamma taxi thing today...in a big way......i drove with my middle child yet again to lexington to pick up a friend, then on to university of Louisville.....where they were to attend a lock-in reunion sort of thing with their friends from Governor's Scholars...the 5 week camp for smart kids that they attended last summer......this would not have a been a big deal had the snow not descended within 10 minutes of leaving the house on our drive up......to the point that scw asked me at one point to explain the difference between our current weather conditions and a blizzard.......the ride up was so much easier than the ride up because the snow had stopped and the salt trucks were out........but basically i drove for 4.5 hours.....entertained by my 6 latest mix cd's, and witty repartee courtesy of my passengers........i find scw's friend fascinating.....being a soprano and an actress.......so different from my frame of reference for spending both work and free time......ah well......i am back home in one peice....and settled in for the night........and quite thankful that another mother will do the return trip from u of l tomorrow

the baseball book

ok, so i finished the book about the redsox winning season this morning, over coffee, with the cat sleeping on my lap........i had no choice to but sit and finish it rather than to wake the cat by getting up and doing something else........the highlights of the season, as i saw them upon the book's blow-by-blow reflections are as follows........1)the fight in july.....the one where with varitek in a-rod's face...........and the bench-clearing that followed......i am not much for fights.....i can count the fights..well. arguments rather than fights i have had in my marriage on one hand.....but this was so unexpected and yet so inescapable........2) the bellhorn homer that the yankee fan deflected back into the stadium.....the umps wisely called it a homer after conferring.......3) the business with a-rod knocking the ball out of aroyo's glove so that jeter could score.......4)the hair..........damon, manny, aroyo.....5)the big homers......ortiz had so many...as well as damon et al.....6)schilling and his ankle.......not much to say about the world series itself......the cardinals didn't play all that well, so those games were anticlimatic after the series with the yankees......and so...another book finished in january.......back to lamb.....

ok, so i enjoyed the writeup about the trump wedding.....and THE dress.....According to Vogue, Melania wanted her gown to be a vision of white and gold and jewelry, as well as ?close-fitting and glamorous, with a revealing decollete. As reported, the gown, constructed of almost 300-feet of material with a 13-foot train and crowned by a 16-foot veil, took some 1,000 hours to make and 550 hours to embroider more than 1,500 crystal rhinestones and pearls in a swirl pattern.Several wedding experts priced it from $100,000 to $200,000. The bouquet was considered an unnecessary item by the future Mrs. Trump. ......has this girl considered how much this dress will weigh.........300 feet of fabric, especially satin.....wow...that will be more like scarlet ohara wearing all of the drapes, not just the one made into a dress.......and should the new mrs trump get a bit tipsy and jump into the pool.....she'll could drown before anyone can fish her out........should that actually happen just remember you heard it here....... 

mystic river.....

ok, so last night we sat up and watched a friend's dvd copy of mystic river.....frankly, this movie could only have been sadder if old yellar had been shot somewhere in the plot line........sean penn and tim robbins certainly deserved the oscars they got for these performances......i do think that the screenwriters could have done a better job of building up to the revelation of the actual killers......and i was somewhat confused by laura linney's bit at the end when she seems to find the fact that sean penn caused tim robbins to 'go away' a turn-on.......i did have to go to the trouble to locate the mystic river on the map.......i don't suppose that i was aware of any river in boston save the charles........such a sad movie.....

ok, so this story is even more strange than the sponge bob one.....a lady in roswell, nm was stopped for a traffic violation, and 61 sick and starving cats were found in the back of her van........this is curious....does she take them all out when she goes out, or does she just keep them in the van.......and how does one herd 61 cats, anyway.....and being from roswell. are they really cats at all, but some sort of alien colony of cat-like creatures.........hmmmmmm 

happiness........

ok, so i was reading the redsox book, and was in august/september........you know...the parts where cleveland beat the yankees 22-0....and the redsox were on a roll....and nomar got traded for 2 really good players.......and all was well with baseball.....and yet i was not happy as i read this.....because i was sitting in the honda dealership........a full 30 minutes past the promised end-time....and the workshop i had driven to lexington to attend had already started.......and i had no choice but to sit it out.....redsox book in hand......until the recall airbags were switched out......how long could that take.......gentle readers.....i was not so distressed that irequired lamaze breathing.....that came later.....when i was lost in central baptist hospitals many buildings looking for the correct lower level auditorium.....only to find that i had just missed the first speaker, that all remainders of the catered lunch were the dregs.....and that i ended up sitting next to the eku professor that took my place at the eku/danville campus..........and not by my choice......ah well.......not all was lost.....i learned a few key things that i can relay to my coworkers on monday morning.....they will ask because monday is prenantal clinic and the workshop was on gestational diabetes........and i was being paid, technically......by the health department as i sat in the dealership.....it did seem like the right thing to do at the time.....the dealership is just down the road from the workshop locale......not 5 minutes by car.......but then dealerships lie about time frames....now don't they.........so let's look at the bright side......i stopped at my favorite places on the way home.....and i found a michael kors car coat for $58...after many markdowns........with a button-in lining.......it IS orange.....but hey.....i may be entering the manic phase of meanmammahood.........at home, with the pc spot taken by a child who was also on his laptop at the time.....i picked up, yet again, the time magazine issue on happiness..........those of you out there who have missed this issue need to sneak one out of the library.......i especially enjoy joel stein's thoughts on marriage and happiness....and the article about teams and fans called 'behind the thrill of victory'.........the fans highlighted in this article were.....the redsox fans.....ohio state football fans amd u of kentucky basketball fans........who could make up such ironies..........i embody all three.....from time to time.......not to the point that i have carmen ohio chimes on my doorbell, or display an osu flag everytime osu plays......and i have no redsox stuff save this book i am reading.......and certainly nothing with uk on it......as i did not go to school there...and do not work there....although i do have a child who goes there....i am torn on the etiquette of fan clothing........will i feel the same way about orange and black, the colors of the princeton tigers.....or is my coat a freudian slip as to where my loyalities will future lie (sp?).......i was just talking the other day to a friend about how reading the princeton coursebook makes me want to go back to college...to study interesting things....certainly not science like i did the first time. or second time in grad school............not that i have lost my faith in science...but because i might have been happier doing something else........bad train of thought......as i firmly believe that it is my choices...good or bad...that got me to this very state of bliss........the american average appears to be a 7.28 out of 10.......sounds just fine to me........

what i do like about Laura Bush.....

ok, so all partisan feelings aside......i do think that Laura Bush looked very nice yesterday in her ice blue coat ensemble, and the ball gown of the same color........and i am especially heartened by her status as a full-figured rather than a scrawny female......not like Nancy Reagan, who always looked like a stiff breeze could knock her down....and she seems to be a learned and wise person.......and though i feel sorry for her devotion to such a foolish man, women throughout the ages have managed to ignore the faults of their lesser spouses....... he is quite lucky to have her.........

more nerves of steel.....

ok, so i forgot mention that on my drive to lexington last night, my colleague got herself on a rant about alternative lifestyles......and how she is so disappointed in the person in question (someone i used to work with)....and how disapoointed his parents must be, being such good christians...to have a son who has made the choice to be gay.....and not to let it drop there, she went on to tell me about her gay relatives, and how hard it is to be around them at family events.....because she fears that her grandchildren will get ideas.......oh my.......i hear so little of this kind of foolishness that i was not prepared to respond to every and all of her assertions......while i did say that i do not believe that it is a choice, rather a biological state of affairs...i SHOULD have said that it is a God-given state....and that since God doesn't make mistakes...there must be something redeeming about it.......and that if one asked wwjd.......he would love that neighbor as himself and emrabce that neighbor for what goodness he had to bring to the table....rather than avoid him and condemn him......ah well......this reminds me of the on-line business i read about christian groups accusing spongebob and other cartoon characters of being a promoters of the gay lifestyle.......my but that is a stretch.......particularly since even the Bible states that Jesus had a particular disciple that is often referred to as 'the disciple that Jesus loved'........it would be quite fitting if Jesus himself had been gay...given the gay bashing that his followers have embraced....just as outrageous but true as Hitler bashing the Jews when he was one himself........but back to my ride to lexngton last night.......this is a person who i have known for almost 2 decdes, and from what i know of her she should not throw stones.......and that did bring a smile to myself as i listened to her do the same.......

nerves of steel......

ok, so last night i drove to lexington immediately after work for a dinner meeting/continuing education program on diabetes...the weather was fine on the way up, but during the evening the temp dropped and the snow fell......so by the time we headed home the roads were slick......i probably have much more experience driving on such roads than the next person, having grown up and learned to drive in a northern state..one that never called off school if the snow didn't even cover ones shoes walking out to the car........but this higher comfort level with snowy roads doesn't mean that i prefer such conditions......and thus driving home i was at one of those heightened states of adrenilin flow...to the point that when i finally pulled into the garage i was absolutely exhausted...physically......yet could not go to sleep when i went immediately to bed because of all of those stress hormones.......having been reminded of just what these hormones do during dinner, i could only lay awake and contemplate them all later on.......oh my.......according to the animated physician/speaker from Vanderbilt, i should have gotten on my treadmill and walked it off........oh well........

the baseball book....

ok, so i am reading the baseball book...the one about the redsox winning season by steven king and stewart onan.....and i am finally to the parts of the season that i remember......especially now that i have printed out a 'depth chart' that shows who plays what position....the one on the redsox sute is thheir new lineup, so i have had to pencil in the guys that played in may/june etc.......and i am already sad that good guys like youlkilis didn't make it to the series with the rest of the team....so far, i am really trying hard to follow the blow by blows of each and every game.......oh my, but these guys are fanatics.....

on the pulse of a new mourning.......

ok, so i am wearing black today to commemorate the inaguration....i feel sick to my stomach, in fact, and had i the sick time accrued i might have called in sick......'i sm sorry, but i am too despondant over the state of the nation to come to work today'.......and i cannot even hope for a william henry harrison sor tof day, because that would leave us with dick cheney....who is worse than dubya.....i am waiting patiently for the pendulum to swing the other way.......it always does.......

book club.....

ok, so tonight was book club, which i managed to fit in between supper and alias........the book was galileo's daughter....a book which i found most depressing as to the fate of illegitimate daughters in the 1600's...basically sold off to nunneries to do menial labor until they died of old age or starved to death...of course, our group decided that these women were above slaves because they believed in what they did........yeh, right......they believed in the cloister, the rationed food, the vows of silence, the cold, as well as the gospel......our discussion turned quickly to politics.....to the new conservatism that allows no dissent......the wide divide between red states and blue states....and the pendulum effect...in that blue states such as mass. started out as vehemently conservative colonies.........and we await the pendulum to swing down our way sometime in our lifetimes........i hate to think that all of liberal danville was in this living room tonight......as there have to be more free thinkers amongst us than the lawyers, bankers, doctors and others present......ah well.....a good reason to go out on a cold night.......next book club is our annual dinner meeting, which is always on the wednesday nearest my birthday....this year we read a movable feast, by ernest hemingway...one of my favorite books and i did not even suggest it........

lost in translation.....

ok, so yesterday i watched lost in translation yet again...before i cleaned the basement laundry room.......whilst walking 40 minutes of the 80 minutes i walked on the treadmill yesterday...yes, i will take a bow........i never fail to come away from that movie with a combination of sadness and joy.....sadness....because it is well documented the sofia coppola was mean to scarlett johannson during the filming........and that bill murray may have been mean just to impress sofia.....she was paying his big bucks......but then there is th ejoy, of feeling intimate with a middle aged guy finding a soulamte in a younger married woman...if only for a few days in a foreign country....and it is the platonic nature of their relationship that i find so appealing.....because all relationships that endure become platonic at their core, if they did not start out that way........the scene where they fall finally fall asleep after days of jet lag.......is so very touching.....i just love the bittersweet message of this movie,....which is why my middle child has accused me of late of listening to mournful music......all from the alias playlist, but mournful in his assessment.....of course, had i toaken to the upbeat techno beats he would have accused me of trying to be hip.....and we all know, gentle readers, that mm is beyond hip..........

ok, so my books arrived today...the backup books......one for ecw...the one about riding a bike cross country that steven king helped to get published....and the other is this book, called lamb....the story about the savior by his childhood friend biff......so far.....this book has been an unexpected delight.....let me quote from chapter one.....'by the way, his name is joshua. jesus is the greek translation of the hebrew yeshua, which is joshua.....christ is not a last name.....it's the greek for messiah, a hebrew word name meaning anointed. i have no idea what the h. in jesus h. christ stood for. it;s one of the things i should have asked him.....this may be the second book i finish this month.....i am reading a baseball book at work during lunch.....and much as i enjoy reading about the redsox winning season, by none other than steven king.......lamb is a tad more enjoyable and esoteric........the author quotes voltaire in the intro......God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh...........now, that is funny........and so very true...... 

ok, so the guy from colorado who didn't know he had driven a nail into his own skull........what can i say......i have had busy days before.......this is just the kind of thing that could have slipped by me when i was really really distracted..........wow....... 

tuesdays......

ok, so with nearly all of the past mondays off as part of a 3 or 4 day holiday weekend......tuesdays have become the new monday.........and today is just a tad worse because tuesdays are our 'long day'.......as the clinic is open to 6:00 pm.....not that 6 is as long as i used to work,,,,,i have adjusted my timeframe downward quite quickly........and now i get really tired at about 5:45 just in time for the short drive home.......last tuesday i brought home chinese so i wouldn't have to cook....we had good grades to celebrate...but today i cannot think of a reason to buy takeout, not with a refrigerator still somewhat full of usable leftovers.........i must make more of an effort to cook less so that there are no usable leftovers.....somedays leftover are just a nuisance.....you know what i mean?.....

productive.....

ok, so my plan to lay about on this day off fell through, and i found myself cleaning the basement.....especially the laundry room......to the point that i ironed scads of table linens that needed to be dealt with, in many colors and in numerous stages of repair....but usable at some point....and thus they have been ironed and stored.....and the storage areas tidied and the summer furniture cushions stowed......and even the floor washed and the rugs washed........all this possible with a movie in the backround and a glass or two of wine....the basement is the location of the wine/beer refrigerator........i could have ventured deeper, to the storage room that houses boxes of books and the odd pieces of luggage.......but that can wait for another day......i did enjoy the artwork while i was working....i had neglected to mention that the laundry area is a gallery of sorts......not just the framed poster by gustave caillbotte, but also a framed poster of one of monet's bridges at giverny......we bought it when the impressionists were still at the old jeu de paume...in 1981.......on our honeymoon.....and there is a nice original photograph of an irish town.....and a print of le petit zinc in paris that needs to be reframed.......ah well.....one can't always keep up with one's basement art, can one?..........had i the gumption,i could have gathered enough stuff for a yard sale from the basement alone.......but not this day........no...on this day i can lean back and rest on the laurels of productivity, but only if pressed for the question of 'and how did you spend your day off?.......'

ok, so i haven't done the new yorker cartoon thing in a while, mostly for lack of computer access. but now that i have yet another free day off, and we are now wi-fi.....hey, i might just stay here at the terminal all day.......especially since it is so cold out.....for the record, this is one of my favorite new yorker covers.......i used to keep them on a weekly basis, when they came in brown wrappers....these days they come without a wrapper of anykind, and the name/address plate is pasted right on the cover....and with glue that prohibits a nice-to-frame print.......ah well.......the cover in question hangs framed in our upstairs bathroom..... 

corned beef and cabbage

ok, so i made corned beef and cabbage for sunday lunch........which has become the new pork roast in this family since at least one of us has decided not to eat pork.........and this is ok, as i have developed quite a taste for tender, thinly cut corned beef....and thereis the rub...the tender part......putting the roast on early enough for it to be tender later on......the ideal way is by crock pot......but that is problematic on a sunday unless i were to put it on before i go to be with the intention of eating it at noon.......today the corned beef was appropriate, as our choir director considers himself something of a cantor.....with a twist.....he seems to prefer backround music that is obviously purchased....today the music had a definite drum backbeat........and while he has a decent voice, i must say that i am not prepared to be entertained in such an elton john manner in church.......not when there are so many talented folks who play piano.....and even drums......in the congregation......i say elton john because he has come to enjoy singing an introduction from the grand piano whilst singing into a microphone suspended from a crane.......i may sound like i am a fuddy-duddy who cannot handle these young whipper-snappers.......but our church has always made a point of having live music as opposed to the canned sort.......we tend to employ folks to play the flute, cello, violin, or all three to play backround for events.....and is this guy feels he needs to use canned drums because we cannot afford better, than we must up our contribution with dollars so desgignated........which brings me back to corned beef............it is tender and pleasing when done well......and intolerable when it is not.........

hide and seek.....

ok, so i have been playing a casual game of hide-and-seek of late with the ups guy.......he hides my packages, and i have to find them......i suspect that he is avoiding dogs, though these days the oldest dog is sequestered int he litchen behind the babygate, and the dog we share with the neighbors is hanging out on their porch........regardless of reasoning, i have found packages....usually but not always books,.......in the garage on top of the trash cans, behind the middle planter that sits between the 2 bays of the garage, on the porch (on either of the rocking chairs or the red church pew.....or just laying up against the front door) or hanging off of the mailbox handle secured by a rubber band.......i am expecting 4 books as we speak, 2 are mine, from amazon...and the others are textbooks my eldest bought on-line that he needs soon.......the amazon books were ordered last tuesday......and ordering them has proven to be a mistake, as they will be coming from the big amazon warehouse in lexington........less than 1 hour away.....and by this time i oculd have driven to lexington and bought them myself at joseph-beth...the candystore for booklovers......more expensive going that route, as i have never bought just what i came for when i entered that store........not like i do not have other books to read......i am working on a blog-style book about the red sox winning season.......and that book of book reviews by michael dirda........though my middle child has absconded with it for the time being........and i have nyc guidebooks to read over before april......gentle readers.....if you have restaurant suggestions, especially any around moma, i would appreciate this knowledge.......but i digress.......of course, i could just go to the library........the old joke around here about our house on the hill is about books....just how many books will it take before the weight drags the house down to the creek........hopefully we are nowhere near that number.......but should that happen, be aware, gentre readers, that it was worth every volume.........

senate soap opera

ok, so if i didn't live in ky i would find the goings-on in frankfort regarding that legality of the seating of the senator from louisville a humerous diversion.......an entertainment at best.....but now that the legislature has wasted 2 weeks on this single issue, it has gotten out of hand as far as i am concerned.....for those who have not followed the story......the winner of the seat in question....a mrs stephenson (r) won the election, but was later disqulaified because a lower court determined that she failed to meet residency requirements.....she not only owned a home in indiana...just across the river, she had indiana plates on her cars, drove using an indiana liscense, and enrolled her daughter at i.u. under in-state tuition...and that is the rub........she went to all of that trouble to qualify for instate tuition........when she worked in louisville, went to church in louisville, and ran for office in louisville........gentle readers, though the courts and the senate have made this out to be a case of democrat vs republican, neither can have these things both ways.....either the woman 'moved' to indiana to take advantage of lower tuition, and she cannot be seated in the ky senate, or she can be seated, and then charged with a felony in indiana for tuition fraud........frankly, the woman is crazy if she thinks she can have it both ways.....and all of her republican colleagues who are backing her up are just as crazy.....all except one. the republican from paducah who stood in the senate chambers and lambasted his colleagues for trying to get the woman seated when she clearly didn't qualify....just because she was a reublican...not because she was legal........and so the case will go before the ky supreme court this week.......meanwhile the lower courts have told this woman that she may not participate in any capacity as a senator until such time as the case is decided.......so will she bide her time in her indiana house, or her louisville house..........hmmm......where are all of those celebrity photographers when inquiring minds really want to know.......

more poetry

ok, so i really liked this haunting peom, borrowed without permission from writer's almanac....

Poem: "Nothing is Lost" by Noel Coward, from Collected Verse, edited by Graham Payn & Martin Tickner © Graywolf Press.

Nothing is Lost

Deep in our sub-conscious, we are told
Lie all our memories, lie all the notes
Of all the music we have ever heard
And all the phrases those we loved have spoken,
Sorrows and losses time has since consoled,
Family jokes, out-moded anecdotes
Each sentimental souvenir and token
Everything seen, experienced, each word
Addressed to us in infancy, before
Before we could even know or understand
The implications of our wonderland.
There they all are, the legendary lies
The birthday treats, the sights, the sounds, the tears
Forgotten debris of forgotten years
Waiting to be recalled, waiting to rise
Before our world dissolves before our eyes
Waiting for some small, intimate reminder,
A word, a tune, a known familiar scent
An echo from the past when, innocent
We looked upon the present with delight
And doubted not the future would be kinder
And never knew the loneliness of night.

ok, so i don't get to look at this poster reproduction as often as i would like, and never with leisure, as it now hangs in front of the ironing board in the basement laundry area in the company of the washer, dryer and wine/beer refrigerator.......it looks good in the spot, given that i painted the walls and made the drapes that cover the window and storage areas to complement the tones therein.......it used to hand in my office at the hospital....and as i lack the perfect spot in my new office, i will leave it just where it is......a bright spot upon which to gaze as i iron something to wear to work.....or more likely to wear to church.........i know that i bought it in the gift shop at the fine arts museum in boston....my memory is fuzzy on just which trip to boston........i have ventured there no fewer than 6 times and likely more.....with parents, with friends, with my spouse, and with my children.......such a contrast to my alias-fan friend at l.county, who has ventured south to nashville this weekend for a linedancing workshop......she is so uneasy with travel that she made a practice run to bardstown with her brother a few weeks ago just to make sure that she felt comfortable with the road........an hour west just to meet with her ride to nashville.......comfort with travel is an aquired trait........dormant just this minute i admit, but one that could re resurrected at the flick of the credit card in the machine buying a ticket, i suppose........ and why is this poster invoking such urges to travel.......rather than to eat fruit....hmmmmm. that is the question.............. 

friendliness.....

ok, so there was a newswire story online this mroning about the top 10 friendly cities in america.....somewhere im the south was #1...maybe charleston, sc........followed by san diego....and from there my interest waned.......certainly not because i have anything against friendliness......well....that isn't an accurate statement.......because i am not naturally friendly.......in certain circumstances i am downright rude......take this afternoon....as i was shopping for a housewarming gift for the daughter of a friend........i was approached by a woman of my aquaintance, with the line......WELL, are you HAPPY now that you sold the restaurant?........and she stood back and crossed her arms in front of her ample bosoms......i am sorry, but i had to throw that in.........and seemed to give every indication that she was settling in for a long discussion.......gentle readers, i saw no reason to settle in for that conversation in the aisle of a department store, and certainly not for the person posing the question......not 6 months after i left and not before the ink is dry........and so i whispered quietly....yes....and walked on.........i swear i heard her gasp, given that i was quite rude in blowing her off....but then...i have never billed myself as anything short as acerbic.........and preferring of sanctuary as opposed to the limelight.........ah well.....that is why i fit in so well, out here at the lake amongst others who value their solitude........and who can decide when and where they care to be friendly on any given day.......i have neighbors that i could not pick out of a lineup.......i am going too far, i feel, with this discussion of my intrinsic meanness.......so i will get back to fixing supper for my significants.....a nice thai soup for the middle child, and those sweet potato latkes he likes so well, and some shrimp for cayle......using lots of leftovers to impress the spouse......i do have a soft place in my heart for what counts........

completion....

ok, so last night we watched the last 4 episodes of alias season 3.....and thus the mad march is compelete........and mostly frustrating, in that the new season failed to start right back in where season 3 left off.......after 2 episodes of season 4 there have been a few questions answered, but major issues have yet to be addressed.......not huge ones...like who shot j.r........but questions nevertheless.......and now my big question is...how will i fill in the gaps in time now that i have watched 18 dvds in a row......and since i have promised so faithfully that i will not start over.......

drop-in neighbors.......

ok, so i envy those people fortunate enough as to have drop-in neighbors........especially as fine a drop-in neighbor as dropped in whilst i was visiting with my friend, the mother of the l.o.........what a pleasure to spend a brief hour or so with 2 engaging, talented, and ever-so-liberal women who (whom) i never get to see enough of........good wine, good conversation, good treats/eats......amazing what one can talk about that has not already been blogged, especially among friends......i live such an insular life out of the mainstream..........my neighbors in the semi-country are basically hermits, my mother included........and there is absolutely no socialising with people who do not even keep a porch light on at night.......and so it is a special occassion for me to spend a few hours with ladies who have known me through my children since Montessori preschool.........so few things to explain to those who know so much of what counts already........a rare pleasure.....one that i hope to repeat.......

ok, so this is a pic of tommy thompson at his big press conference, when he trotted out the 'new' dietary guidelines for americans.....they are similar to the old ones.....with suggestions that we eat more fruits and vegetables, and eat far less sugar, fat, salt and alcohol.........they do get good press, though few really take this advice to heart when asked by the scrawny teen behind the fastfood ordering board if they want to supersize.........one notable addition is the info about food safety......how to avoid food poisoning your family is pretty valuable info...ah well.........assuming you don't want to poison them by pitiful food handling...... 

alias.......

ok, so i am down to the last 4 episodes of alias season 3.......and should be able to polish tem off by the end of this weekend...in time for the newest installment of season 4.........watching 3 seasons of shows over a 3 week period has proved valuable in filling in gaps in the storyline...from the few times i either missed the show, or took a phone call during critical moments.......or simply wasn't paying attention.........and this concentrated knowledge of the past has me even more baffled about the future of the current storyline, which has brought all of the past factions on to one single side.....as a team working against a new threat........given the past meanness (betrayals, near-death experiences, the murder of loved ones, torture....) that each has heaped upon the others....it is inconceivable that they are now working together....it would be like bill clinton working in the same office on newt gingrich, monica lewinsky, and the senate impeachment committee........like the past didn't happen and they are all just a bunch of really talented folks collaborating on a big project........last night after watching 3-4 episodes in a row, we couldn't sleep...the adrenilin from the action just gets to be too much......which is why i am relieved that we are down to only 4 more........and i can settle into my new wednesday 9-10 pm time slot......and spend the rest of my free time doing something else........

this space for rent.......

ok,so in this space, as of 30 minutes ago, there was a blog that has since been deleted.........not really deleted, just moved to the mm-only blog....to the youhavetolookveryhardforthis...blog........my brother somehow found it over christmas break, but then, finding things is what he does for a living........and i have mixed feelings already about the deletion, because it dealt with real emotions/reactions....and if this blog is to record my emotions/reactions to life....especially given the likelihood that i will forget any/all of the pertinent details before the end of the decade........then deletion was a bad move.......if i consider that the particulars were upsetting to signficant others.....then it was a good move......and that is the conundrum.......truth versus convenience.......my eldest child desires to be an author...i consider his prose tacitly witty and insightful.....but then, he has never written of anything i have ever done or told him about that i would not want to see in print.....and if printing such things would make the difference between his ultimate success or failure, would i mind terribly much......probably not....especially if he dealt with my flaws in a balanced rather than lopsidedly-ugly way........and more to the point........could i ever become an honest writer if i constantly edit out those details about my realm of experience that may embarass the guilty/innocent of my aquaintance/kinship...hmmmmm.........

kansas?

ok, so we must be in kansas......as this is th emost blustery day i can recall......so much so that i feared that my car door woudl be blown off as i got out this morning at the lchd........with leaves swirling around and trees bending over.......feels like tornado weather to me.....but the prevailing fear of my workmates on this day is 'the storm' that is coming.....the BIG ONE....they are already closing these doors and heading home in their hearts.......in even the forst snowflake has yet to fall.......there is a small yet vocal subset of epople who have such a fear of weather that their aniticipation of it could be powerful enough to cause heart attacks, or heart palpitations at the very least.......as for me...i could use a paid rest day.....but i am not in the mood for ice and snow...not after days of 60-70 degree weather...i had my air conditioning on for a brief time yesterday, as the car was so hot when i went out to get lunch that it was a.c. or open windows.......

a memory of running

ok, so the book quoted in the title is one i had never heard of until i read the cnn headline and was immediately compelled to not only read about how stephen king managed to get this author published, but to go ahead and order it on amazon..........for me to read, but also for my significants...the ones who rode across america on a bike....though not to conquer alhoholism.....they had reasons of their own but not that particular one............i have begun a book partly by stephen king....a blog-style record of the red sox's world series winning series.......i know from watching nearly every nationally televised sox game that stephen king is a huge fan.......he is beyond that...he can name every player who has played, who plays for the farm teams, who even thought about playing........but back to this book and this author.........what a nice thing for stephen king to do, as an advocate for good books.....i finished nick hornby's book last night......i really enjoy his talk-talk style of writing......especially a line that i will quote poorly here......'while there may be poorly written books, there are also books that are poorly read.......that is quite true, i suppose,...i have poorly read many a novel.........but i stand before you ready to reform.......yeh, right......

handwritten blog.......

ok, so yesterday afternoon i jotted down this blog in ink on actual paper.......

i sometimes forget that our bedroom is yellow. the color is not noticable in the dusty gloom of a southfacing winter morn......nor in the overriding glow of the occasional winter sunset...i only notice the tsucan gold tones when i am reading on the lowseat positioned in front of the window...and attention to details of color are brief at best.....the if-only's take over......gentle readers who have ever built or rennovated will recognize this sentiment....the melancholy of wishing that this bedroom window were just 6 inches lower...just enough so i could see the creek below as i sip my dry wine and read on a dulcit sunday afternoon.....nevermind that making time to read ona sunday is a scant pleasure......and the expense of moving a window for the prospect of a a better......prospect....... would seem outrageous to even the most doting of spouses....if i were so silly as to bring it up......

mlk lights?.......

ok, so on my way to take cayle to school, there is a single house that still displays christmas lights.......well...not just lights....there is an entire display of hoo and hah.......in multicolored splendor.......a bit much for this far beyond the holidays......especially since their utility bill has surely arrived........a sane person would have gasped, and said......'turn off those blessed lights this minute.......'....so it is possible that the person within is deceased......and the lights remain until some concerned neighbor comes knocking on the door......or maybe the lights will stay up til the next governmental-designated holiday....mlk day next monday.....when my place of work will be be closed yet again......i have gotten used to not working on monday......and i suppose i could come up with a few more monday-oriented things for us to celebrate in ky..........

uk versus kansas....

ok, so i watched my first televised uk game of the season this afternoon...#2 kansas versus # 8 kentucky.......and it was a horrible example of collegiate sports........less than 25 points per side at the half because neither team could muster a decent field goal........but kansas rallied and won at the end.....but not without ashley judd screaming madly for her beloved wildcats........ah well....it is interesting how the uk lineup changes legally with the season.....juniors/seniors leave for the pros....and amateur freshman take their places.........which is so very different from professinal baseball, where the team is very different from the last catch of the last seasons game to the first pitch of the new season........and people leave legally to go elsewhere.........and new peopel take their places......ok, so there is no real difference......it is all illusion, and money changing hands......and few actual diplomas change hands.......well, ashely judd really did graduate, but few basketball players manage the same feat.........too bad uk lost...they looked lousy....hopefully they can rally before march.........

bound to please....

ok, so i spent the afternoon skimming bound to please, a collection of book reviews by michael dirda....who said, somewhere in the 1st 50 pages....that one could' turn upside down the 6 novels of jane austin...and shake them vigorously, and nothing would fall out....'....gentle readers.....whilst this is a true statement.....i have found little else in this lengthy book to recommend it...including his discussion of one sidonie colette.....a biography by judith thurman, which i possess......he describes it as a triumph....well.....i found it boring and confounding...but that is ok....after skimming the book i want to read more closely the works of wilde, flaubert, james, baudilaire...among others.......he did like my favorite book of colette's...the break of day...a book out of print in america......quelle damage....as they say.....it was her most intuitive..........

feeling sorry for celebrities.....

ok, so you won't often hear me rant about how sorry i feel for actors, artists, politicians, singers, and other talented/untalented people in the public eye.....while i understand how hard it is to 'be them'....with long arduous work-hours, impossible deadlines, elusive standards for success.........they also enjoy the many perks that come with celebrity......such as invitations to swank events that include 'gift bags', front row seats at designer showings,world series tickets and the means to afford $700 pillow cases and $500 a pair panties......none of which i desire except for the world series tickets.....but that is not the point.......these people also must endure microscopic scrutiny of their private lives.......including headline notice of marital separation......you know of the couple of who(m?) i refer.......i cannot imagine having my personal pain splashed on google news like it is entertainment...the press could hardly ignore the story, as the couple in question issued a joint 'statement' to make sure that there was no doubt in the truth behind the rumors.....in my little town, all we have is the court news as recorded every sunday morning in the danville advocate.....this morning i read with surprise that a woman of my aquaintance got divorced as of the past week......i was surprised only because i thought her divorced at least 1 if not 2 years ago........had i known the divorce had lingered this long i would have kept her in my prayers.......it is one of those sad cases where the wife works her spouse's way through a professional school, only for him to turn around and request a divorce so he can marry a younger woman........not necessarily the most accurate depiction, but close enough for a sunday morning rant, eh?........but i will say with certainty that she is one of those devoted mothers who sacrificed her personal time for her kids, only to wake up at the wrong end of her 40's alone in addition to being out-of-shape and nouveau poor.......alas, the divorce notices in a small town paper might as well be tabloid headlines.....for it will be whispered in the halls of church this morning as sure as death and taxes........along with the selling price of certain real estate transactions reported elsewhere in the paper......and the younger children of the woman in question will be in church today, but not my friend, because she seems reluctant to venture back to church given all that has changed in her life, including a downgrading of personal finance......which brings me back to my original point.......how can i not feel sorry for the rich whose personal woes make headlines, when i can see similar pain up close in my own little community........

garages......

ok, so i want to go on the record as grateful for my garage......plenty of room for 2 cars....and all the gardening stuff, the recycling....the trash, the bikes/sleds.....and enough room in the upstairs for tables/chairs for every possible future apartment......and every morning my windshield is clear of ice and snow......and life is good......of course, there is that little detail of having 3 vehicles.....and not enough road frontage for a 3-car addition....we cannot have everything.....i am certain had the garage been built for 3 autos/trucks....we would somehow come up with a 4th......

direct marketing........

ok, so over the holidays my eldest used our pc to order his textbooks......and now when i visit my usual book-buying sites......they only want to sell me more textbooks.......and not the fiction is usually purchase.....the last order had transformed the personalized screen.......and i am not so sure how to reclaim the 'settings' i have lost...like being rpesented with books i might want to read on screen is any different than the library having shelves labeled staff picks.......but i have little or no interest in a biology textbook....or a creative writing primer......and so i must regain my turf, so to speak....and hold onto it until the beginning of the next school year...when 2 sons will be ordering textbooks....hmmmm that oculd be tricky.....princeton is probably savvy when it comes to e-commerce.....that may play tricksey with regards to text selection.......but then i may just want to read their red-herring picks.........

ok, so the boston red sox are in a bundle over a baseball.....THE baseball that was caught to clinch the series.....by one Doug Mientkiewicz, a fellow who had only been with the team 3 months...he has it in a vault...he has no contract with the team....the team wants the ball back......ouch.......personally, i wonder why this hadn't come up before...like the day after the series was over.....rather than just after new years.......obviously there were numerous baseballs used during the sries and during that game.....but THE ball that was caught to end the curse......well. there must be people willing to shell out considerable cash for THE baseball........akin to the holy grail.....so does the ball belong to Doug Mientkiewicz, or the boston red sox.......wisdom says that possession is 99% of the law........but then, i don't live in boston........for the record, Doug Mientkiewicz, is the one on the right...and no, i cannot spell Doug Mientkiewicz, i have it on copy and paste.......... 

archives.....

ok, so last night our middle child decided that he needed access to his archives......the boxes of stuff i have loosely organized for each child........filled with favorite toys, swim team ribbons, scouting badges, drawings, newspaper clippings, and the like........those pertaining to the offspring in question filled 3 plastic tubs.....and included nearly every notebook he ever filled, and every scrap of paper he ever scribbled upon......because they are record of his passions.....each contained some architectural rendition of buildings known or imagined......or faithful pencil drawings of peter carl faberge eggs......or lists of subways/lighr rail systems..stories, and diaries, and travel reflections.........so many interests, so many papers......and so we lugged all of this stuff out of the garret storage area.......i didn't find many school progress reports.....i recall throwing those away, including the one where his first grade teacher expressed concern that he preferred work over recess.......and i did feel some guilt, as i had intended to organize highlights into scrapbooks for each child.......you know, the cutesy combo-pages with everything cut out and labeled.....but this child seemed perfectly content to find everything in original condition........nostalgia is a very good thing......

hudson, ohio

ok, so the article in this week's new yorker magazine has nothing to do with me........hudson is nowhere near my home town of mt gilead.......but it is down the road from my aunt and uncle...they of 'million dollar houses' notoriety.....and hudson boasts the mother ship of fabric warehouses.......a near-football field size outlet with the remains of every fabric bolt in the country, it would seem..........we went there years ago, the day after we had tickets to the faberge exhibit at case western.....the same trip when we saw the rock and roll hall of fame.....the trip when my cousin was too busy to see us......she who i believe has it in her mind that i am angry that our grandfather left her his house despite the fact that i am the eldest grandchild (of 3....myself, my cousin, and my brother).........and that is a shame, because i would have no use for a house in cleveland...and though i am saddened that it no longer resembles an 1850's underground railroad house......well....she took care of my grandparents when i was in college and grad school and she deserves what she inherited.......and so when i think of hudson, i think of fabric.......i can still locate fabric from that shopping spree that i have never gotten around to using......most notably some ecru linen with tone-on-tone embroidery....eventually it will make a lovely dress/jacket combination......the only reason i have hesitated thus far is that it wrinkles so in the storage box....not a good sign for real-world use.....unless i vow to stand during a child's wedding..........and change before i need to sit down........ironic, that i can remember where i bought just about every bit of fabric that covers chairs, sofas, pillows, windows in this home, but cannot remember to break down boxes for recycling, or to squeeze down the toothpaste on a reliable basis.........for the record, i also remember the shoes i wore during all major life events.......even shoes i no longer own.......ah, well.....i enjoyed reading ian frazier's piece..........

urban legends.....

ok, so this piece was posted on the office door at the l.county health department....and it reeks of urban legend......but i enjoyed it thoroughly and hope that i never have to use the tactics within....

Curtain Rods (some people are just too smart)

She spent the first day packing her belongings into crates, boxes, and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft backround music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room, and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When her husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for a few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything: cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere......

Exterminators were brought into set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end, they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairment refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

They could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said how much she missed her old house terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house was worth...but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.....

including the curtain rods......

home alone.......

ok, so it is 5:00 pm or so.....and i have to ask myself....just where is everybody?........yeh, I know that my spouse is where he is supposed to be....and i vaguely recall that my daughter is with her 'mimi'......and that scw is at an academic team scrimmage...scheduled just days prior to the all-a classic saturday in richmond.......which essentially puts me home alone......i would say that i could get used to having first dibs on the new yorker.....and danville's paper which comes in the afternoon.......but the house seems so hollow sounding when it is only me here......well.....me and 3 pets, who are all wanting food.......and i am certain of the current location of the telephone.......when i got home yesterday....groceries in both arms....and the phone ringing but no one answering it.......it was my mother, desiring to tell me about her cat whose delicate health required an overnight stay at the vet.......i was talking to her when i realized that i had neglected to bring my cell phone in from my car.....parked in the garage too close to the workbench.....note to self- go back out as soon as blog is over and reposition car about 5 inches backwards.......at some point during the conversation with my mother, and going back to the garage, and turning off the cell phone,and repositioning the car, i left the portable phone in the car on the driver's seat. completely forgot about it.....so later when cayle wanted to use the phone to call her 'mimi'......i couldn't remember where i had put it....and 3 trips to the car looking failed to locate it because it is black and the seats are black......and i was at the wrong angle to see it......and thus my family considers me one phone call closer to senility....a pitiable state to be sure.........just as my alias obsession is pitiable.......on the other hand, thursday is l.county day, where 2 out of 3 of the office clerks watch alias and 1 out of 3 own the complete dvd set......i burned a cd of alias soundtrack songs for them....and you would have thought i had brought gold, frankinsence and myrhh.......it is epiphany, by the way.......i came from the west bearing a gift....that was close enough for government work, right?........ah well.....i will just go ahead and put supper on the stove....and put in an alias dvd....i am almost through with season 2.......speaking of alias.....the season premiere last night was aceptable, but not stellar......i felt that the producers were catering toward the desparate housewife crowd....and that may just be too blessed desparate for me.......i will watch, but i feel in my heart htat theya re selling themselves short in hopes of building back an audience....ah well....if i were queen, things would be different.......