impulse control.......

ok, so on the side i consult with a children's home for sub-teen boys who have multiple problems.....and many of the medications used to improve behavior revolve around the notion of impulse control......the not-doing-what-you'd-rather.......the restraint that keeps some of us from saying things we should not say, or doing things we should not do.....but not thinking things we should not think.....yeah...it is the thinking of those things that leads to the doing of those things.......and thankfully....i have dodged many of those impulses.....to not beat the crap out of people who deserved it...or not to act on whims that involved money, sex, rock&roll.......frankly, i do not think of myself as someone who harbors violent desires......i will just admit that some of the regrets that i have in life involve people that i should have just slapped and then walked away at peace.......when well-timed.....such actions can be immensely satisfying....i can recall throwing a young man out of my apartment in college with what seemed to be the strength of hercules......now that was fulfilling.....to my sense of self....maybe my entire persona stems back to that act of impulsive semi-disruption.......and there are workmates over the years who tormented me to the point of such acts.....but i did nothing......on the other hand...when i read of major acts of retribution.....school or workplace or church shootings......i realize that my impulse (however minor by comparison) was best left unrealized....life is much better in the long run....not to be known as the worker who up and slapped the heck out of her boss.......