Sunday, June 19, 2011

missing my dad.....

ok, so yesterday at the red lobster, where my mom and i ate after picking up the remainder of our 30-year anniversary replacement china......i attempted to direct the conversation to dad......who liked red lobster almost as much as mom.....we were ordering, and i pointed out that dad would have ordered the clam strips.....she nodded....and then went back to perusing the menu......for no real reason because she always orders the fried shrimp and crab leg combination with a baked potato....she eats the crab legs and takes the shrimp and potato home for supper....this scenario worked out well yesterday, as we were going to our daughter's boyfriend's belated graduation party that involved a bbq supper at the battlefield....on the way back home my spouse asked if the boyfriend's father was involved at all....no, i replied, because he died some time ago after some peiod of estrangement.....i started to say that the boyfriend had that in common with our daughter....but then that is not true......our daughter has had my spouse as her very-involved father most of her life.....her birth-father was estranged, but he is now working on semi-regular contact.....she has no concept of father's day without a father.....ah well......there is a picture of my mom and dad above the computer table...the one taken at their 47th anniversary party....we celebrated the 47th rather than waiting on the 50th when it became clear that my father would be far from lucid if we postponed......he seems happy and content in this photo.....in the moment rather than agonizing over the past or the future....seems this gentle man still has a few things to teach me about how to live one's life.....

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