hot dogs.......

ok, so i have completely neglected the amusing work-related scenarios....like the 65+ couple who came in this week to talk about diabetes....and when asked about supper the evening before......the husband replied...hot dogs......how many hot dogs?....i asked innocently.......well...the wife broke in......i cooked a package of 10 and there were none left the next day.......hmmmm.....10 hotdogs between 2 people for supper and snacktime.........and so i delved further........how many hot dogs had my client consumed versu his spouse........at this point they digressed into a bicker of who-ate-what.......and concluded that the client ate 8 of the hot dogs....and the wife ate 2........between supper and bedtime......on white bread because they had no buns.....and when asked about side dishes...the client replied that there were no sides because they had fixed so many hot dogs.......omg.....8 hot dogs on white bread.......what does one say to this admission.........other than...'et's talk about better options.......this couple bickered about nearly every aspect of their joint experience......i am hoping they don't return for a followup visit anytime soon......which brings me to today......in the other county in which i work single 7.5 hour day.......whereupon the clerk handed me a stack of 3 charts with a smurk....and said 'this doesn;t mean that i don't love you....'...omg...these were the family unit from hell......a pregnant woman and her 2 heathen offspring......if she said.......'dont; make me come over there and swat your butt...' one more time i would have gone over there and done it myself.......these children were totally out of control......and the mother was totally non-interested in conmtrolling their behavior.....and when the smallest was standing on my stool with my cell phone attempting a call.....i told him he had to the count of 1 to get down....and when he did not i plucked him up gingerly and set him down in his mother's lap and told him to 'stay.....right there'............it was quite obvious that this unholy trio were scheduled into my time slot because nobody else in the clinic had the nerves to deal with them any longer.......how sad to be the clients who nobody wants......and these folks are clueless as to this designation......especially the pregnant mom......who asked me why i was suggesting she breastfeeds when she smokes so much.......and i replied....when you smoke so much when pregnant...why would it matter if you smoke when you nurse?......and she looked at me like i had two heads......and dragged those heathen children out to the front porch where she oculd light up..............one was barefoot, by the way.....so he got to stand in the area where she ground out her butt before returning to the waiting room.......ain't that america?...home of the free?..................