1990

ok, so this afternoon, in the course of my day.....i happened to be working with a pregnant girl, her year old daughter......and her mother......who could have been my age.......and it was not until we got into the conversation about the spacing of her children did it occur to me to look at the pregnant woman's birthday.......1990.......and there was a moment of silence while i did the math.........did the math in my usual fashion...which is done by landmark years rather than simple subtraction.......let me explain my internal system........somebody born around 1974.....the year i graduated from high school.....i always think to myself....hmmm.....she could be my daughter...she must be in her early 30's.......and someone born around 1980......i think.....hmmmmm...she was born about the time i finished grad school.....she could be my daughter.....she must be in her late 20's.....and then we get to those born in 1984.....the age of my eldest.....and i think to myself......hmmm.....she could be my daughter.....she must be about 21........you get the picture about 1986...the year my middle child was born......but i have never seen a 1990 birthday printed on the chart of a pregnant female who already has a toddler until today........and i was horrified.....especially when i was filling in the preverbial growth chart, which has a space for height of mother and father........and when i asked the mamma how tall daddy is.....she answered.....i don't know........and i couldn't bring myself to ask........don't know the exact height.....or don't know.......you get the picture......and the horror doesn't end there........this threesome that i describe were well-dressed, well-shod.....well-groomed, and waspish...for lack of a better term........hardly a family expecting a 2nd bi-racial grandchild to a child who cannot yet drive......and i wanted to shake the 40-something grandma wearing sandals similar to a pair i have at home...and say.....are you the crazy kind of mother who told the nurse in the hospital that your daughter didn't need birth control because she wouldn't be having sex again.....not at.... 14 when she had the first......what was she thinking......the and the horror doesn't stop there........this 15 year old pregnant girl never actually touched her baby in my presence.....grandma was in complete control of this adorable child with dark curly locks and cafe au lait skin.......as if grandma was going to make it all better by doing it all....and all that her darling daughter had to do was to.....what?.......go and get herself pregnant again because she had nothing better to do with grandma doing all of the grunt work..........sorry for this emotional outburst....but i am unaccustomed to staring into the face of.....women who could be me......women who will not be me if i can corral my 12 year old long enough to get her out of high school........one last omg.....and to bed, perchance to dream about a better world.....where girls even thinking about having sex have free access to birth control..............