white lilies and larkspur

ok, so.....at 9:00 this morning, as agreed on the phone, i arrived with my chicken, pasta and artichoke casserole at an address on east main street....expecting to simply drop it off, find something lucid to say about an event that is beyond words, and to leave.....and was surprised to be not only invited in but to sit and.......condole......for nearly 2 hours...... and more tissues than i thought 2 ageless women could require.....i had already wept before i arrived.....first when i wrote my thoughts on a notecard (one that traveled with me to paris and back absolutely blank because there were no words that fit....)....and again when i passed the montessori school and was filled beyond the brim with memories of dropping off, and picking up, and plays and sweeter times......i was met with the scent of white lilies.....i knew they were there somewhere, and it was not until she sat me down in her front parlor that i saw the huge vase-ful.....so what does one talk about for nearly two hours, on one of many lonely friday mornings that will surely follow this one?.....i suppose that is between me and a woman i have known since her daughter was three......i am relieved that i brought food, as i got the impression that there is no real cooking going on these days.....she seemed genuinely pleased to have supper taken care of.....i tend to forget that not everybody finds comfort in cooking......i do feel that my belated visit was how things were supposed to work out....that coming by well after the crowds have dwindled is valuable, both for me, who missed the funeral, and for someone who is alone with her box of yet-to-be-opened notes and her books on grieving.....i cannot imagine the daily horror.....all i can do is make casseroles and make it a priority to bring them by now and again.....