when you wake up feeling old......

ok, so.....the morning after a day of heavy labor is humbling.......one wishes that one had stretched before all of the bending, tugging, lifting.....and put on sunscreen....the work took place under cover of the canopy that s the mulberry tree......and a sunburn in the shade never crossed my mind.......not that the shade was cool.....so sireeee......the humidity was oppressive.....lots of progress made......cleared out the old and dead from the entire stretch.......knarled redbud to the gate......and mulched an entire truckload of......mulch......and moved hosta from an overcrowded existence to a spot surrounding the locust tree......the effect is lovely, i must say......but as i sat on the red chair on the walk up near the hydrangea.......all i could think about was how achey/brakey my body feels this morning, and how i could have managed the afternoon better........given that there was an able-bodied 13 year old at home.....in the house while i worked outside.......and the basic question must apparantly be addressed each and every saturday.......exactly what work must be done before play.......there are some who stumble down to breakfast around 9:45.....and rush through vacumning and a load of laundry started....and see the time after....say 10:45 as playtime...no matter that i end up finishing up said laundry at some point to expedite my own loads......but on this day i had made an effort to give greater direction for chores that could be done while i worked in the yard.......like laundering sheets and towels...and folding them and putting them away ...remaking her own bed...picking up her room...chore directives that were poorly received, to say the least...and done intermittently, given that every time i came into the house to cool off the television was on and she was laying (lying?) upon the sofa........and after about 5 hours of labor, when the mulch was clinging to my being like chocolate frosting.......my youngest bolted from the door, announcing that she was all done and was going up the road to play with the neighbor's dogs.....gentle readers......when a child has time to play with dogs that are not her own, she was time to help with outdoor chores.......and so it was begrudgingly that the project was finished with 2 sets of hands.....so far so good....until i showered and settled in to finishing up my own saturday chores.......only to discover that a load of laundry i had put in the dryer early on had been been unceremoniously tossed into a basket, unfolded....and was now congealed into a mass of wrinkles......gentle readers...there are few things that really get my riled up......and thoughtless attention to the property of others is one of them.....especially given that i routinely fold any load of laundry i remove from the dryer....it is the polite thing to do......and the notion that i my child could lay (lie) upon the couch yet not find the strength to fold a few pairs of pants for her hard-working parent brought out the worst in me.....and i screamed at her......loud enough that my spouse came down from 2 floors above to find out what was wrong.......i suppose when one doesn't normally scream.....a brief tirade has greater dramatic impact.......in this case my daughter fell into hysterical sobs........ a scene right out of a dysfunctional family novel.......i have few memories of being brought beyond the raised voice phase when the boys were small......but this younger child has evoked such scenes at least 6 times that i can recall........mostly with regards to my other pet peave....that of truthfullness........and so the question has been begged.....do i have anger management issues...or do i just need to manage the particulars to prevent the scenes in the first place.....or simply have my hormones adjusted.......i don't know.....what i do know is that i do not sleep well after a such altercations....which makes my current state even more pitiable........feeling old both mentally and physically.......blogging the details is somewhat cathartic, but not was soothing as a nap or a warm bath might be.......maybe there are support groups for meanmammas who scream......i might feel better if i knew that other women react in the same manner when tired and overworked while others lounge about.......